Imago, page 9
“Ugh.” Jack’s hips came off the couch. “Fuck, Lawson. Yeah, just like that.” He put his hand on my head, and I hummed to let him know I liked it. “So good.”
I swirled my tongue along the underside of his shaft and he grunted, so vocal. Every reaction was my reward. I skimmed my hands along his hips, then up and under his shirt, searching out his nipples. I circled each soft nub before gently pinching.
“Oh fuck!” Jack cried. He took rapid breaths and his cock surged in my mouth, so I did it again and again until he flexed underneath me. “Gonna come.”
I sucked harder, and he swelled and spurted into my mouth. I swallowed every drop, humming gratefully as I did.
I let him slip from my mouth, and he was the picture of satiation. His arms now hung limply at his sides, his face serene, and his gorgeous cock, glistening under the light, lay across to his hip. He chuckled lazily. “Wow.”
I sat back on my haunches, proud that I’d rendered him undone.
He lifted his hand and beckoned me closer with his finger. So I put my hands on his knees and leaned in to kiss him, but he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me onto the couch with him. He lay us both down, somehow, like I weighed nothing, and he sighed contentedly. Then he kissed me, soft and lingering, before he pulled me in for a sleepy hug. Okay, so Jack was the cuddling kind. I smiled against his neck.
“Stay the night,” he murmured.
I repressed a sigh. I didn’t want to ruin this peaceful mood. But I also wouldn’t lie. “I can’t.”
Jack took a deep, disappointed breath. “When will you say yes?”
“When it’s right.”
I felt his confusion in his embrace. “Is this not right?”
“This is very right.”
“I’m confused.”
I chuckled. “I can’t stay tonight.”
He pulled back, and the look on his face was indeed confused and, if I were being honest, hurt. “It’s okay if you don’t want to.”
I put my hand to his cheek and kissed him. “I have another early start tomorrow.”
“Oh, that reminds me. I have a meeting tomorrow. I can’t come with you.”
I pouted. “That’s a shame. I enjoyed having you around today.”
He brightened a little. “But don’t forget dinner tomorrow. You’ll need to be here early, if that’s okay? I think the chef extraordinaire is getting here around six, so you might want to get here around six thirty.”
“Should I bring anything?”
He shook his head and smiled. “No. But can I make one request?”
“Of course.”
“Wear a bow tie.”
“Is it a formal dinner?”
“No! Not at all. Very informal, in fact.” He bit his bottom lip and adjusted my bow tie, which, with us lying down, wasn’t easy. “I just find them really hot.”
I chuckled at him. “Then I shall wear my finest.”
He gave me his most genuine, eye-crinkling smile. But he never said anything. He just stared into my eyes and I couldn’t look away. The intensity of his gaze, the fire burning behind them, made my heart gallop.
“I should go,” I whispered, though my tone held no conviction. If he’d asked me to stay right then, I would have said yes. And I was sure he knew it too. He held the power to make me stay or leave, but he knew my wishes, so instead of getting what he wanted, he didn’t push.
“Okay.” He kissed me softly again. “Text me when you get back to your room. Or in the morning. Or both.”
Reluctantly, with a willpower I didn’t feel, I got up and fixed my clothes. I gave Rosemary a pat goodbye, and Jack stood on the porch to see me off.
“Oh, wait!” he said, dashing off the porch steps and running into the dark at the corner of his house. He came back a moment later with his hand behind his back and a goofy grin. He stood in front of me and presented me with a sprig of rosemary. “It’s not a date without a flower. Though it’s not really a flower, but it’s symbolic of me and my dog, so it’s kind of appropriate.”
I took the rosemary, put it to my nose, and inhaled the earthy scent. “It’s perfect.”
“The date? Or the rosemary?”
I leaned up and kissed his cheek. “Both.”
I drove away watching the man and his dog on the front porch, knowing that something had changed. Something irreversible. Something amazing. Something I wasn’t sure I would ever get to have given we lived states apart, but out here in the woodlands of north-east Tasmania, I’d found something unexpected, something completely wonderful.
* * *
I found nothing in the woodlands I scoured the next morning. I found chrysalises of Zizina labradus and Pieris rapae as I had found in the other areas I’d searched when Jack was with me, but nothing on the Eltham Copper.
I ate just an apple for lunch, washed down with two bottles of water, and searched again until four, walking my usual grid, taking notes on observations, checking undersides of fallen bark and large rocks a thousand times. I’d done countless field searches, so I knew patience was key, though it was hard not to be disillusioned. And frustrated. I was running out of days on this trip. Maybe I should ask Jack to re-evaluate the mapped areas.
Mmm… Jack.
My mind kept wandering back to him, making it difficult to focus on my data. Knowing I was running out of days here and running out of days to spend with him exasperated my frustrations.
It was foolish, I told myself. I’d known him for a matter of days, and what we had together was no more than a holiday fling. Not that it was really a holiday; though I technically was on annual leave from my employer, I was still working.
I came to Tasmania in hopes of finding evidence, or proof at least, of a species of butterfly not yet documented. Instead, I’d found myself the kind of man I’d only dared dream of. Of course he had to live in a different state than me; it couldn’t be that easy. I had no clue if he wanted to keep in touch when I went back to Melbourne or how we could even make it work. He said his last potential boyfriend didn’t want long-distance, but he wasn’t opposed to it. But just how did one factor in scheduled weekends, airports, and hired cars into a relationship?
God. Would he even want that with me? Just how far ahead had I let my heart wander unsupervised?
Like I said. It was foolish.
It was a lot of fun and incredible while it lasted, but foolish nonetheless.
I sighed as I loaded my storage tubs back into the Defender. I thought of Professor Tillman and how many decades he’d searched these areas and wondered if I was wasting my time. Had he simply handed the baton over for me to give decades of my life just like he had done? Was this now to become my life’s work?
I allowed myself to wallow in my disillusionment on the drive back into Scottsdale. It was a pretty little town, and I could see why Jack loved it. Everyone knew him by his first name, said hello in the street. He could walk into any shop in the main street and have a chat with whomever was working. It was a world away from Melbourne. Not just the community feel, either. The cogs turned slower here, and that wasn’t a bad thing.
It wasn’t a bad thing at all.
Back at my room, I showered and sat on the bed with only a towel wrapped around my waist. I entered my data findings, or lack thereof, into my laptop. When that was done, I seriously considered going back into the bathroom and jerking off to stave off any embarrassing erections that seemed ever-present in the company of one Mr Jack Brighton. Especially if there would be other company attending.
But part of me didn’t want to dull the intoxicating hold he had on me. He made my whole body sing, and I wanted him to get the full reward. So, ignoring my own needs, I got dressed for the evening. Jack had said it wasn’t formal, but we weren’t dining alone and there was a personal chef.
A personal chef? Who on God’s earth hires a personal chef? Who even knows one to hire them?
I was excited and nervous for this evening. Each date had been better than the last, and I had no doubt I’d be staying the night soon. Maybe not tonight, but soon enough. I wanted to give myself to him in that way, and I knew in my bones it was only a matter of time. I wasn’t joking when I’d said I’d stay when it felt right. Though it felt right every time I’d been there, and the sexual side of me wanted it badly. But my brain said not yet. I would stay the night only after he beds me, and I liked to sample the menu before savouring the main course.
So to speak.
And speaking of main courses, I should pick up a bottle of wine or two to take. I was musing over red or white, given I didn’t know what we’d be eating, when I opened my door to leave.
Mrs Nola Bloom stood in front of me with her fist up, as if to knock. “Oh,” she said, putting her hand to her heart. I must have given her a scare. But then she looked me up and down. “Oh, how lovely. Going out for dinner?”
“Ah, yes.” She tried to look over my shoulder into my room, so I quickly stepped into the hall and closed the door behind me. “Just leaving now. Running a tad late,” I added, an excuse not to get stuck talking.
“Where are you off to?” she asked cheerfully. Then she gave me a sly smile. “Dining with anyone I know?”
I cleared my throat. “Ah, no. It’s a work dinner. Heading out of town.” That wasn’t technically a lie. I did see Jack for my work, and he did live out of town. “I best get going, actually. Was there anything I can help you with? You were about to knock?”
“Oh.” She blushed, and I knew right then that she was merely here for the gossip on me. “Just checking to see if you needed anything. You’ve been getting in late every night and leaving early, I wondered if you wanted a decent, home-cooked meal. Or breakfast. It’s part of the price you know. No extra charge.”
I put my hand up. “No, but thank you. I’ve been very busy with work, but I’m managing to eat just fine.”
“Right, then,” she said, stepping out of my way. “Better let you go. Don’t want to keep your dinner date waiting.”
I repressed a sigh and considered correcting her―she was, after all, only after gossip to feed the town vines, no doubt―but thought it wasn’t worth it. “Thank you.”
I walked as fast as was polite and got into my Defender. Next stop was the local hotel, which also served as the local bottle shop. I was loath to walk into a small town country pub, but with no other choice, I parked out front and walked inside.
The smell of stale beer assaulted me first, all bar room chatter died away to leave an awkward silence, but the lady behind the counter smiled. “Hey love, what can I get for ya?”
I ignored the eyes I could feel on me from the men at the bar. “Do you have a wine list?”
She handed over a laminated sheet of paper, and not knowing the first thing about wines, I chose the most expensive white, and the most expensive red on the list.
“Sure thing. I’ll just grab them from the storeroom. Be right back,” the lady said. She darted through a door, leaving me alone with the five men at the bar who were all staring at me.
“Good evening,” I said, uncomfortable under their scrutiny.
One man nodded, one man craned his neck to get a better look at me.
“Dressed a bit fancy for round here,” one other man said. This is why I hated frequenting establishments like this. I didn’t belong and was clearly made fun of by those who felt their masculinity needed protecting. They looked like they’d walked in from Blokey Farmers R Us, and I wondered if they got their flannel plaid shirts at a discounted rate for bulk buying.
The barmaid walked back in with two bottles in hand. “You fellas could learn a thing or two by dressing up a bit,” she said with a wink to me. “George, I reckon Bev’d love to get dressed up to go out for dinner with you looking as sharp as this guy.”
“Hey,” the man I assumed to be George said. “I have a bow tie.”
Another man snorted. “From when? Your wedding?”
The barmaid placed the bottles in brown paper bags in front of me. I handed over my card and paid, taking my wine as George was trying to remember the last time he wore suspenders.
I rushed to the Defender and don’t think I breathed until I’d turned down Stanning Road. By the time I pulled up in front of Jack’s place, I was feeling okay, until I saw another car parked at the side of his house. I’d forgotten he was expecting company other than myself. I took a deep breath, then another. My nerves were getting the better of me, and for a brief moment, I considered going home. But then I remembered he’d hired a personal chef and that I couldn’t leave him in the lurch like that. So with another deep breath, I grabbed the wine and made myself get out of the car.
I walked up the porch steps and could hear chatter inside, and the smell of something cooking was wonderful. Rosemary met me at the screen door before I even knocked. She wagged her tail, and I heard Jack say “I’ll get it” before he appeared at the door.
Jack’s immediate smile when he saw me made me feel a thousand times better. He opened the door with a tea towel in his hand. “Hello,” he said quietly, just for me. He leaned in and kissed my cheek. “You look great.”
I looked down at myself. “Oh, thank you. I wasn’t sure if the suspenders were appropriate, and the fellows at the bar seemed to think I was overdressed.”
Jack frowned for a moment. “Did they say something to you?”
“No, it wasn’t a problem.” I brushed his concern off. I held up my purchases. “I brought wine.”
“Please, come in,” he said. He slid his arm around my waist. “There’s people I want you to meet.”
A man was at the dining table, and I wondered if he was the chef. He was average height, had a healthy tan and curly brown hair. “You must be Lawson,” he said. There may have been a slight accent, possibly European, but I couldn’t be certain. He extended his hand for me to shake.
“Yes, that I am.” I shook his hand, and his smile widened.
“I’m Nico. Remmy’s husband.”
I turned to find her familiar face in the kitchen. Remmy was standing at the counter, and she quickly rounded the benchtop to put her two hands on my shoulders and kissed both cheeks. “Lawson, so nice to see you again. You met my husband, Nico?”
“Yes, thank you.”
“And our chef for tonight…” Remmy waved her hand to the small child standing on a dining chair at the kitchen sink. He was peeling a carrot. “Luca, this is Lawson. Lawson, this is my son, Luca.”
“Nice to meet you,” I said.
Luca grinned. “Hello.”
Jack chuckled beside me and put his hand on my back. “Luca, tell Lawson who grew those vegetables you’re chopping up?”
“I did!” Luca said. He was a gorgeous little boy with blond wispy curls and a cherub smile. “I did grow them all by myself and UncaJack said I could cook the dinner.”
I found myself smiling, grinning even. I couldn’t explain how relieved I felt. “That’s perfect,” I said.
Jack gave me a curious look, so I explained, “I was rather nervous about tonight. I wasn’t sure what to expect when you said a personal chef.” I almost laughed. “But this is… even better.”
Jack went to say something, but Luca spoke first. “UncaJack, your carrot.”
“Oh,” Jack said, walking to stand next to Luca’s chair. He smiled at me. “I’m being the apprentice today.”
Remmy laughed. “Lawson, can I get you a drink?”
And so began what was to be a night of laughter and stories, surprisingly delicious ‘ratooey,’ and even better homemade apple pie. Remmy asked me a slew of questions, Nico was quite well versed in world economics, Luca asked me all about butterflies, and Jack’s deep, throaty laughter was quite possibly my most favourite sound.
By the time Luca was falling asleep, Remmy and Nico thanked Jack for a wonderful night, bundled their little one into their car, and bid us both goodnight. The silence after they’d gone was a little loud, but when I turned to look at Jack, he was smiling at me. “You were great tonight.”
“How was I great?”
He put his hand to my jaw and thumbed my cheek. “Luca thinks you’re the best thing ever.”
“He’s a great cook. For a four-year-old.”
“He is.” He ran his hand down my neck and over my shoulder, down my chest. Then he said, “And while I thoroughly enjoyed their company, I missed talking to you. I heard you telling Remmy you didn’t find anything in the field today.”
“No, nothing.”
Jack skimmed his hand back along my suspender, up my chest, and over my collarbone. His smile faded as he licked his bottom lip. “Will you stay for a little bit? You don’t have to stay the night if you don’t want. But please tell me you’ll stay long enough for me to take you out of these suspenders.”
“I thought you liked bow ties?”
“I do! Well, I did, but that was before you wore suspenders.”
I chuckled at that. “Then I’ll be sure to wear them more often.”
He leaned in as if to kiss me, but stopped. His eyes flashed with concern. “Earlier tonight, when you bought the wine, you said some guys said something to you? Were you okay? Because on Date Number One, you were dead set against going inside.”
“I haven’t had the best of luck at such places.” He frowned and waited for me to continue. “When I was at university, we were doing a field study in a small town. A few of my classmates thought a trip to the local pub was in order, and I guess a few of the locals thought the way I dressed was comical. Or offensive.”
“Oh, Lawson,” Jack whispered.
“I had a similar experience at a country pub in New South Wales as well. I believe I can safely assume I am the common denominator in all such examples, so I have avoided putting myself into that situation again.”
His frown had deepened. “I’m sorry that happened to you. The guys here aren’t like that, but next time I’ll come in with you and introduce you, and I’ll make sure they know you’re with me.” He slid both his hands around me protectively. “No one would say or do a thing to you.”
I ran my nose along his jaw. “I can take care of myself.” I squeezed his arse. “Though I’d prefer if you took care of me.”
