Wildcard: Volume Three, page 4
“Poor baby. Let’s get you home and into bed.”
The rest of the drive is quiet. Jake sleeps while I rest my eyes—mainly to avoid any questions from Ryder. I feel like shit, and the last thing I want to do right now is talk about my feelings.
I open my eyes as he pulls into his driveway. Jake stirs in the back, but remains asleep. I get out and wait as Ryder unbuckles Jake from his seat and carries him inside. I follow him to the guest room and watch him lay Jake down on the bed.
“I’ll see you out there,” he whispers, kissing me on the lips.
I smile, feeling both lucky and undeserving to have him. Seeing how great he is with Jake makes my heart swell. All I’ve ever wanted is the best for my son, and I’m more sure than ever that Ryder is that.
I just hope I’m not about to lose everything.
***
After settling Jake into bed, I walk back into the living room. Ryder is in the kitchen getting us a drink, so I take the opportunity to text Penny. What I really need to do is call her and sort this whole thing out, but I can’t risk Ryder hearing the conversation. Just thinking about him knowing makes me shudder. I’m not the person I was back then—not that anything excuses what I did.
Me: What are you trying to say, Pen?
She replies almost immediately.
Penny: What do you mean?
Me: Your text. It was a little out of nowhere . . .
Penny: Out of nowhere?? You asked me my opinion. You know I’ll support you whatever you do. I’m sorry if you think I was out of line.
My heart is pounding. I’m so confused, because nothing is making any sense. I asked her? What the hell does she mean by that? I haven’t asked her anything. If that were true, there would be something in my message history other than what I’d sent her earlier, telling her we’d arrived.
Maybe I’m losing my mind. I shiver and run my hand over my arm. I’m sweating everywhere—my arms, my back... I adjust the collar of my shirt.
God, it feels like a freaking sauna in here.
I shove my phone under me as Ryder strolls back into the room carrying two sodas. He tilts his head to the side as he hands me my drink. He knows something is up. I’m a wreck. I can feel myself breaking. I set the glass down on the coffee table, not trusting my trembling hands.
“Still not feeling well?” he asks. His eyes sweep over me as he takes in my appearance.
I snort, because I know I’m a mess.
I shake my head. It’s not a lie; I feel like shit.
I stand up and my head starts to spin. I reach for the back of the sofa but it’s not there. The next thing I know, Ryder’s by my side. He wraps his arms around me. I take a deep breath and try to calm myself down, but it’s no use. I’m so worked up that I’m on the verge of cracking.
“I think you should be in bed.”
Ryder lifts me into his arms and carries me to his room. He sits me down on the edge of the mattress, and I let him undress me. His eyes never leave mine as unbuttons my shirt, pushing it down over my shoulders.
He kisses my neck as his hand reaches behind my back, unclasping my bra. I groan as his lips trail down my shoulder. He pulls my bra away and lays me down on the bed.
“Sleep well,” he smirks, kissing my forehead as his fingers brush over my exposed nipple. His eyes twinkle as he pulls the covers up over my body.
Tease.
I narrow my eyes as he walks out, closing the door, leaving me alone in the darkness with my thoughts. My arousal vanishes as I remember why I was feeling so sick in the first place.
That text from Penny.
Pushing the covers aside, I slide my legs over the edge of the bed, my bare feet touching the thick, plush carpet. I creep over to my handbag and rifle through it, searching for my phone. Once I have it, I move back to the bed and climb under the covers.
My heart pounds as I dial Penny. I’m praying this is all a misunderstanding, but in my heart I know he knows. How could he not mention it? How could I not? Are we supposed to ignore it and pretend this never happened? I have no idea what to do.
“Hello?”
“It’s me.”
“Hey. How are you? What was with your crazy texts before? Has the bad weather over there made you lose your mind?” she teases.
“That text you sent me came out of nowhere, Pen. I’m confused. The last message I sent you was telling you we arrived.”
“What?” she replies, confused. “No, I replied to that, and we had a whole conversation about Ryder and Tony. Are you okay, Scar?”
“I didn’t text you!” I say, my voice rising. My hand flies to my mouth and I glance at the door. I need to keep my voice down. “I didn’t text you. I think it might have been Ryder. Can you resend the messages?”
“Sure.” She sounds unconvinced. “Call me back later, okay? I’ll send them through now.”
We hang up and I stare at the phone, waiting for them to come through. One by one, they do, and I read them. My anxiety is sky high and rising by the second. I can taste bile as it rises up my throat.
I didn’t text these messages . . . and if I didn’t, there’s only one person who could’ve.
Ryder.
Chapter Ten
Ryder
I’m acting indifferent, like nothing has happened, because really that’s the only thing I can do right now. Although I’m ashamed and embarrassed that I betrayed her trust, I’m even more determined to find out what the fuck she’s hiding.
I’m sick of all the games. Either she’s with me or she isn’t, and if she is, then enough with the fucking secrets. I feel like our whole relationship has been one lie after another. I’m not sure how much more I can take.
I’m already thinking the worst possible scenario. How much worse can the truth be?
It’s just after six on Tuesday morning, and I’m up making coffee. At six a.m. I’m up. Making coffee. Fucking ridiculous. Who voluntarily gets up that early? I’m not sure if it’s the jetlag or this thing with Scarlett that’s messing with my head, but I hate early mornings more than I hate black coffee.
Penny’s text plays over and over in my head: He deserves to pay; not you. What the hell does she mean? Every idea I reject, because it doesn’t fit. Tony said whatever he has on her would be big enough to lose Jake. I’d only met the bloke once, but I knew he’d do whatever he thought necessary to ruin her life.
At the moment I’m thinking it might be something to do with drugs. It’s the only explanation that fits. I don’t condone drug use, but why wouldn’t she tell me that? Surely she knows me well enough now to know that I’m there for her, no matter what?
“Fuck this.” I’m just going to ask her. I’ll come clean about the texts with Penny, and ask her to trust me. There’s no point pretending anymore, because as soon as she speaks to Penny she’s going to know it was me texting her—if she hasn’t figured it out already.
I pour two cups of coffee and head for my room, where Scar is still sleeping. She won’t appreciate being woken so early, but I need to do this now before Jake wakes up. That, and I know I’ll chicken out if I don’t act right away.
I walk over to the bed and sit down next to her. She stirs and opens her eyes, smiling at me as she yawns.
“What time is it?” she mumbles, sitting up. She takes the cup I’m holding out for her.
“Early,” I say. “Scar, we need to talk.”
She winces. “No good ever comes from those words. Can I get dressed first?”
I nod and stand up. “Are you hungry?”
“I could go for some toast,” she replies. She slides her long legs out of the bed and my gaze is drawn to her thighs…her bare thighs… “Ryder?” She raises her eyebrows. “Are you going to let me dress?”
I feel my face heat as she smirks at me. “Sorry,” I mumble, backing out of the room.
“So,” she says, sliding into one of the six dining chairs that surround the table. “I’m guessing this is serious, considering it’s not even seven a.m.?”
I place her toast in front of her and sit down.
“Maybe we can start with why you were pretending to be me while messaging Penny?” she asks lightly. “You don’t trust me.”
“I picked up your phone by mistake. It’s not like I went out of my way to invade your privacy,” I protest.
“Fine, but texting her pretending to be me?” Her voice rises.
“I shouldn’t have done that,” I say, gritting my teeth. “Dammit, Scar. Why can’t you just be honest with me? It’s like its one secret after another with you. Is it any wonder I don’t trust you?”
As soon as the words escape my mouth, I regret them. Her eyes cloud with hurt as I try and backtrack.
“I didn’t mean—”
“You did, or you wouldn’t have said it,” she fires back. She pushes her chair back and stands up, her fingers combing through her long hair. Tears spring into her eyes as she fights to hold in her emotions.
“Scar,” I plead. “It’s not that I don’t trust you. I hate that you don’t trust me.”
“It’s not that easy,” she whispers.
I stand up and move over to her, wrapping my arms around her. I kiss her lips, my eyes on hers. “Scar, let me in. Please,” I whisper.
Her head rests against mine, and I can feel the touch of her warm breath on my neck.
“Talk to me.”
“Okay,” she relents. “I’ll tell you everything, but I’m so scared of losing you.”
I grip her face in my hands and force her to look at me. Her green eyes are glassy with tears and I watch as they roll down her cheeks. Using my thumb, I wipe them away. I lift her into my arms and carry her back into my room. My lips brush hers and I sigh. “You won’t lose me.”
“Just after my mom died, Tony came back.” She stops and takes a breath, repositioning herself on the bed.
I’m sitting on the chest under the window, listening, waiting for her to continue.
“I was alone. It was just Jake and me. I’d just lost the closest person in my life, and to be honest, I'd had enough.”
She stops and wipes tears from her eyes. Her fingers grab at the blankets covering her. “He promised me that this time, things would be different. I'm not sure if I believed him or if I just needed someone there for me. I was feeling sorry for myself, and that made it hard to say no.”
“How long had been since you’d seen him?”
“Tony?” She laughs. “He hadn't been around since I’d gotten pregnant with Jake.”
“And you weren’t suspicious when he suddenly showed up?”
She scowls at me. “Not an idiot, Ryder. Of course I was suspicious. Only my loneliness outweighed that. I let myself believe that maybe he was a different person. Maybe he had changed.”
“Then what happened?” I ask. I’m still no closer to figuring out where all this is going.
“He started getting abusive. He’d hit me and then apologize, say he’d never do it again, and I’d forgive him.” She laughs and shakes her head, as if she can't believe what she’s telling me. “Only it never was the last time. When he hit Jake, I panicked and asked him to leave.”
“You did nothing wrong. The guy’s an arse, Scar. You thought this would scare me off?” I laugh and stand up, walking over to her to wrap my arms around her, and kiss her face. “You stupid girl.”
I’m so relieved, yet at the same time I want to hunt this guy down and punch the shit out of him. Fucking loser. Any guy who beats up a woman is a fucking coward.
She moves out of my grasp and leans forward, hunching over herself. She bites her lip, her breathing shallow. “There's more. And if I don't tell you this is now, I might never do it.”
She's breathing heavily, and it's scaring me. Maybe I was premature with my relief, because this isn’t the end of her story.
She turns to me, her eyes wide with fear. “I need you to know that I'm terrified of losing you. Once I tell you this, I can't take it back, no matter how much I know I'm going to want to.”
“Shhh, it’s okay.” I cradle her in my arms, trailing little kisses down her neck. “Nothing you can say is going to scare me off, Scar. I love you. Your past is just that—it’s in the past.”
She lets out a laugh. “That's the thing: it is never in the past. It's always hanging over my head. I hate living with this thing hanging over me, feeling like it can drop at any moment and destroy everything I love and have worked for.”
“For God's sake, Scar, tell me. Let me help you. Please.”
“When Tony came back into my life, I was weak. Getting him out of my life proved harder than I’d thought it would be. He propositioned me. He knew of a way that could make us some fast cash.”
“Are we talking illegal?”
“You really think I’d be this worked up if it wasn't illegal?” She smirks. The hint of her smile makes me happy. I’m glad she can manage to see some light, no matter how dark the situation might feel.
“True. Go on.”
“So, his plan was simple. We frequented hotel bars. The ritzy kind. The kind where you’d expect to find obscenely rich businessmen. Lonely businessmen. Married businessmen. Businessmen who can't afford a scandal.”
She takes a breath before continuing, pursing her lips as she breathes out. I can feel the kicker is coming, and it’s making her nervous.
“You need to realize that at twenty-one, I still looked quite young. I was often told that I barely looked sixteen. I lost count of the number of times people thought Jake was my brother.”
I can believe that. Even at twenty-three, she doesn't look it. Twenty, maybe, but no older.
“So Tony’s plan was that I would slut myself up, pick up rich, married men, and convince them to take me back to their room.” She laughs. “The funny thing is, nine times out of ten I was successful.” She pauses and takes a deep breath. “So we’d get to his room, I’d act all innocent and drop my fake age—which seemed to excite them more—and then I'd pretend I wanted to sleep with them.”
She shakes her head and buries her face in her hands. “I would make-out with these old, slimy married men who thought I was only sixteen while Tony was hiding in a closet filming the whole thing.”
I swallow, struggling to digest what she’s saying. I can’t even imagine her doing that. The thought makes me sick. How bad could things have possibly been that she would consider that an answer to her problems?
“How did Tony know what room you would be in?”
“I’d sneak a look at the guy’s room key and text it to him. I don't know how he got inside. I never asked.”
“Okay,” I say, trying to process everything she's telling me. “So then what? What was his endgame? Blackmail?”
“Bingo,” she says with a sad smile.
“It's always been about money with Tony, and this was no exception. Once the deed was done, he’d reveal himself and announce that he had footage of our target fucking an underage girl. He’d scare the guy with the usual ‘contact your wife, the police, FBI’ . . . Whatever needed to be done to secure a large payment.”
“Fuck. He was whoring you out,” I mutter. I'm beyond pissed. Thank God I have no fucking idea where this cunt is, because I would kill him.
“I was a willing participant, Ryder. He didn’t force me to do anything.”
“Then why did you do it?” I growl, frustrated.
“Because it was the only way I could get rid of him. I didn’t want the money. I wanted nothing to do with it. I just wanted him gone, and I thought that this would do it.”
“Did it?”
“Yes. Until now, at least.”
“Okay,” I sigh. I need to think. I’m trying so hard to get my brain around this, but fuck it’s hard. My whole perception of her has changed in an instant. “So how many guys did you blackmail?”
“Four. The final one, he was the last straw. When Tony burst in, the guy literally broke down and started crying. He kept saying he had kids, and a wife who he loved—and I know you don’t do that to someone you love, but it got to me, you know?”
I don’t answer, because I don’t understand. I’m trying, but I really don’t.
How she could be so stupid as to get mixed up in this. What the fuck was she thinking? And it took fucking four guys for her to grow a conscious?
“Fuck, Scarlett,” I say, resting my head in my hands. “This is some seriously messed up shit.”
“I know,” she whispers. Her gaze drops. She won’t look at me. She can’t even look me in the eye.
“I understand how this is something you wouldn't want me to know, but what I don't get is how this can jeopardize your relationship with Jake. You fucked up, but fucking up isn’t a crime.”
“No,” she agrees, “but blackmail is. We blackmailed some pretty powerful men. I’m talking one or two big names in politics and the judicial system. Men who have since split up with their wives, and have nothing to lose if this story breaks.”
She takes a breath and looks me in the eye. “This is fraud, Ryder. This is big. It doesn't matter if Tony organized the whole thing, benefited from the whole thing. I'm on those tapes. If he goes down, I go down. I lose my son. I lose you.”
I lean forward and hug her again. I want to reassure her; I want to tell her I’m there for her, and that everything is okay, but I need to think. I need to process all of this, because it’s not only her, it’s me, too. It's my career, and in the end it could be my high profile that brings her down. Could I live with myself if that happened?
“Wow,” I mumble. “I think I prefer this sex tape idea I had going on in my head.”
She manages a smile. “Well, it's not far from it.”
Chapter Eleven
Ryder
“Shit,” I mumble.
I’m sitting outside, my head resting in my arms, letting her words sink in. Scar is at the hospital with Jake for his pre-admission paperwork, and they won't be back for hours. I’m glad she's not here, because I need the space. I need to figure this out before she gets back. I need to make sure I can handle this.
