Sweetest Awareness (Cruelest Oblivion Duet), page 1
Copyright © 2022 Sweetest Awareness by M.A. Heard.
Originally published 2015 as Insensate
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written consent of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotation embodied in critical reviews and various other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
The resemblance to actual persons, things, living or dead, locales, or events is entirely coincidental.
Cover Designer: Cormar Covers
Editor: Sheena Taylor
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Dedication
Songlist
Synopsis
Sweetest Awareness
GLOSSARY OF TERMS:
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Published Books by Michelle Heard
Connect with me
Acknowledgments
Dedication
To my best friend, Tayla.
My life would be empty without you.
Thank you for putting up with all my crap.
Songlist
Click here - Spotify
Runnin’ – Adam Lambert
My Demons – STARSET
On My Own – Ashes Remain
Bring Me Back To Life - Ht Bristol, Charlie Bannister, Vincent Steel, Nine One One
Rise – State of Mine
Synopsis
With the impending war on our doorstep, I’m training harder than ever to become the woman I was always meant to be.
A warrior.
I’m faced with trials set out to break me, but I keep getting up and walking away stronger than before.
I quickly learn I’m not just fighting for freedom but for a world where women won’t be treated as breeders.
I’m fighting for the future of every woman.
I’m fighting to prove I’m not the coward I always thought I was.
I’m a leader.
Mostly, I’m the woman every man on this planet should fear.
Sweetest Awareness
Dystopian Romance
Book #2
Authors Note:
Sweetest Awareness is book #2 in a duet.
You need to read Cruelest Oblivion to understand the plot.
This book contains subject matter that may be sensitive for some readers.
There is triggering content related to:
Loss of Family & Friends.
Abandonment.
Death of an animal.
Extreme graphic violence & death.
18+ only.
Please read responsibly.
“Your emotions make you human.”
~ Sabaa Tahir
(A Torch Against The Night)
GLOSSARY OF TERMS:
Ecocity – Isolated city built after the wars ended.
Emissaries – Leaders and founding fathers of the ecocity.
Crusaders – Chosen group of people who are send out to convert the deviants living in the forbidden lands.
Virtuous – Citizens of the ecocity.
Blessed Be – The authorized way of greeting each other.
Curer – Doctor.
Healing Center – Hospital
Haven – Building where the healing center, laboratories, and emissaries are.
Bearer – A woman whose only purpose is to bear children.
Bearer Sector – Where bearers live away from other citizens.
Glofish – Genetically modified goldfish.
Dome – Electric force field over the ecocity.
Trackers – Employed by the emissaries to hunt down crusaders and anyone else they can find. They get paid a bounty for every person they deliver.
Insensate – a person who has been genetically modified not to feel any emotions and obey the emissaries’ commands.
Forbidden territory – Any area outside of the ecocity.
Deviants – Anyone who’s not in the ecocity and following the seven virtues.
Rebels – Criminals not allowed in the wards.
Wards – Small secured holdings where deviants train for the war.
Main ward – The city where most deviants live.
Chapter 1
Jai
Entering the main ward, my lips part, and my eyes can’t touch on everything fast enough.
Holy crap!
“Stay at my side,” Chance says. “People aren’t as welcoming here as at the outer wards.”
“Okay.”
Where everything is clinical and pristine in the ecocity, various colorful stores decorate the street of the main ward. Something called a tattoo parlor, a hairdresser, clothing – everything from sparkling fabrics to the black outfit I’m wearing.
There’s so much to choose from.
“It’s different. Right?” Chance murmurs, laughter flirting with his voice.
My reaction probably amuses him, but I’m too awestruck to care.
“Yeah,” I breathe, my gaze flitting around like a butterfly that’s discovered a field of flowers. “It’s incredible.”
As Chance’s fingers wrap around mine, a woman shrieks, “Chance, baby!”
He lets go of my hand and spins around, just in time to catch a girl with the longest legs I’ve ever seen. She wraps her legs around his waist and plants a hard kiss on his mouth.
My eyebrow pops up, and my lips part at the sight of another woman wrapped around the man I’ve grown close to.
The thought never crossed my mind that I might have to share Chance. Especially because there are so few women, and they are the ones who are usually shared.
Don’t jump to conclusions.
“I’ve missed you!” she beams at him, her pretty face covered with dark makeup.
She’s wearing the shortest pants I’ve ever seen. They hardly cover her rear, and the ripped t-shirt isn’t much better. Bangles clink on her wrist, and golden loops hang from her ears.
There’s an overwhelming stabbing sensation in my chest when Chance hugs her. It’s unlike anything I’ve felt before, and I don’t have a name for it.
I feel many eyes on me, and glancing around, it’s to see every man passing by us staring me up and down.
Uneasiness crawls down my spine.
I don’t like being out in the open like this, especially with the other woman shrieking with happiness and drawing attention to us.
After too many seconds have passed, Chance sets the girl down on her feet. I watch as they smile at each other, then he says, “Morgan, it’s been a while. How are you?”
Morgan. I haven’t heard that name before, but somehow it suits her.
She hooks her arm through his, leaning against him in a way that makes my stomach tighten and my heart shrink.
“Great, now that you’re back,” she beams at Chance with an expression that doesn’t sit well with me. “What do you think of my hair?”
Patting the back of her head, she twirls in front of him. The purple-black strands are cut short on one side, and long white hair hangs across her forehead and right ear.
“Ah… It’s different.” Looking a little uncomfortable, he asks, “Have you seen Warrick?”
“Always business and no time to play,” she pouts before smirking. “I wouldn’t mind watching you kick his ass to win a night with me again.”
What does that mean?
I pucker my lips for a split second before I realize I’m imitating her. Not comfortable with the emotions the scene evokes in my chest, I turn my attention away from them and decide to explore the closest store. That way, I can get away from all the men looking at me.
The past week at the smaller ward made me forget I’m a rare commodity because Idris, Kenzo, and the other men treated me like I was one of them, not some breeding machine. Or a hole to stick their dicks in.
After I learned the truth about sex from Chance, it disgusts me that all the women in the ecocity are subjected to the shock of finding out the hard way.
And none of them have spoken up about it.
Not that they can. We’re outnumbered.
I shudder at the thought and walk faster toward a store called a tattoo parlor. Through the window, I see a man sitting in a chair while a woman’s busy drawing with ink on his face.
Interesting. I wonder if this is where Chance got all his ink from.
When I push the glass door open, a bell jingles, I hurry inside, and before it can ring again, I shut the door.
“Take a seat, honey. I’ll be with you in a second,” the woman says in a friendly tone.
She has short blonde hair, making me realize I haven’t seen a deviant with long hair.
Lifting my hand, I pull my fingers through my light brown strands, wondering whether I should get it c
A wall filled with various pictures draws my attention, and I walk closer. There are mythical creatures, death, barbed wire, flowers, and many other images.
The metal pen the woman uses to draw makes a buzzing sound that I find weirdly calming. I glance a little longer at her and the man before I move to a display rack showcasing statues of dragons.
There’s so much to look at, but nothing really holds my attention, so I take a seat across from the man and woman to see what she’s drawing on him.
With swift movements, she inks black lines around the man’s eyes. She finishes with him and places the steel pen on a stand. It’s attached to some kind of cable.
“It might sting a bit, but you’ll be fine tomorrow,” the woman tells her customer. I watch them hug, and as the man walks toward the door, he stares at me like I’m something from outer space.
I find myself holding my breath until the door shuts behind him, then I turn my gaze back to the woman.
“What can I do for you, honey?”
I slip off the stool, not sure how to explain my presence.
“I was curious to see what you were doing,” I explain.
“Permanent makeup. Eyeliner, lipliner, eyebrows,” she says with a friendly smile. “And, occasionally, tattoos.”
“It sounds interesting,” I admit. Gesturing at the statues, I add, “I like the dragons.”
“Yeah, I have an unhealthy obsession with mythical creatures,” she chuckles. “Come on.” She nods toward the chair the man occupied a moment ago. “Let me take care of your bushy eyebrows. It will bring out the color of your eyes.”
Intrigued, I glance at the chair.
Do things work the same here as in the ecocity, where everything you need is given to you as long as you abide by the rules?
As if she can read my mind, she says, “No payment needed, sweet girl. I haven’t seen you around these parts. You’re new, aren’t you?”
I nod, suddenly feeling caught out even though I did nothing wrong. “Is it that obvious?”
The friendly woman gives me an encouraging smile. “It took me a while to get used to the outside world. Don’t worry. You’ll get the hang of it.”
“You were virtuous?” I ask, relieved by the news.
“Yeah. It’s been twenty years. I was kicked out because I can’t have children.”
There’s a wave of compassion in my chest. “I’m sorry.”
She waves a hand in the air, then nods at the chair again. “It was the best thing that ever happened to me. I got out.”
After I take a seat, she continues, “Here, we take care of each other and trade with each over for what we need. Everyone has a talent or gift. Farmers, soldiers, entertainers, servers. We all have our place in the ward. You’ll find where you belong soon enough.”
“Trade?” I ask, not understanding what she means.
“Yeah.” Her eyes meet mine. “A soldier will trade his ability to protect others for anything he needs.” She waves around the store. “I get paid in protection and food for my services.”
Oh. It’s still a little confusing, but I don’t ask more questions.
My gaze turns to the various metal pens laid out on the counter.
She picks up one, then murmurs, “This might sting a little.”
My eyes squint as I follow the pen's tip when it comes toward the bridge of my nose.
I feel the cold tip and a slight pinch. The pen hums softly as she moves it between my eyes, then over the top of my eyebrow as if she’s outlining each one.
“It’s looking so much better already. A bit of color would look pretty. Do you want me to color them dark brown?”
Wanting to fit in with all the other people, I nod.
“I’m Dawn, by the way.” She reaches over me for another pen.
“It’s a pretty name,” I say as my eyes flit to her. “I’m Jai.”
The pen is cold and wet as it moves over my eyebrows, but after a couple of minutes, she wipes it off with a little square tissue. When I notice the dark liquid, I start doubting whether this was a good idea.
“Come have a look,” Dawn says, gesturing at a full-length mirror.
I jump off the chair, and when I stand in front of the mirror, I notice I’ve lost weight, and my body looks firmer.
Then I see my face and my lips part.
Wow.
“It’s like you worked magic,” I whisper. “My eyes have never looked so green before.”
Dawn lets out a chuckle. “A change is as good as a vacation.”
I’ve never heard that saying, but I give her a grateful smile. “Thank you.”
It’s surprising what such a small change can do to my face.
“The red around your eyebrows will fade quickly. Don’t worry about it.” She pats me on the shoulder. “Once you’ve settled in, you should come so I can do your eyeliner. We’ll only do it with a pencil to see if you like it.”
“I’ll come visit again,” I say as I walk toward the door. “It was nice meeting you, but I have to get going.”
“You can pop in any time, honey. Be careful out there,” she says, then her eyes turn serious. “Find a group of men who will protect you to keep the masses at bay. A girl looking as beautiful as you will draw attention.”
A shiver creeps down my spine as I nod. “I will.”
The door rings on my way out, and glancing up and down the street, worry blooms in my heart when there’s no sign of Chance.
Shit. Where did he go?
Chapter 2
Jai
Not able to find Chance or the girl he was with, I consider going back to Dawn.
I glance up and down the street again, my skin already crawling from all the men staring at me.
You should’ve stayed with Chance, no matter how uncomfortable it was watching him with Morgan.
Where did he go?
There’s a stabbing ache in my chest.
He just left me. I was in the store. If he had bothered to look, he would’ve seen me there.
Still, this is on me. I shouldn’t have left his side.
Even though I didn’t always feel safe in the ecocity, there were enforcers to keep the men from taking what they wanted.
But there’s no sign of any enforcers here in the main ward, and it makes a fear I’ve never felt before bloom in my heart.
Slowly, I start walking, sticking close to the street in case I have to run for my life. I glance around, hoping to find Chance or Raze, but there’s no sign of either of them.
Then again, it’s his fault. He practically forgot I existed after that woman threw herself at him.
There’s a shop where people are getting their hair cut. I see my reflection in the window and hesitate for a moment before continuing to walk.
At another store where hair is being cut, I stop again and wonder if I should ask them to cut mine.
It’s not like I have anything else to do. Right?
Yeah, you do. Look for Chance or Raze.
A man slows down as he walks toward me, and tilting his head, his eyes rove over my body.
Crap.
At first, I almost wrap my arms around my waist to make myself smaller, but then I remember my training. I fist my hands at my sides and lift my chin, then widening my footsteps, I hightail down the street.
“Why are you running, sweetheart?” he calls after me, a mocking chuckle following his words.
I only slow down when I’m sure I’m a safe distance away from the man.
Suddenly, I hear a crowd roar, “No mercy!” It’s followed by the familiar sound of fists and painful groans.
I peek down an alley and see stands where people are sitting, pumping their arms in the air as they repeatedly shout, “No mercy.”
Is it a training arena?
Curious, I walk down the alley and come up behind a stand. I move to the side of it and see an open space of grass and two men wrestling.
Standing next to the stand, the roar, and chants from the onlookers filling the air. The man on top of the other starts punching him until blood splatters over his face.
Geez. And I thought training with Idris, Kenzo, and Chance was bad.
