“Yes, I have thought about you,” he said, making her sit upright with surprise. “I’ve thought about you every day since I left you at the airport all those years ago. At first it was a sort of obsession—I was angry that you had left me—but then it turned into hope that you would find happiness. And you have, haven’t you?”

  “Yes, I have,” she answered honestly, confused at where he was going with this.

  “You found it without me,” Jesse stated, “and I found mine without you.”

  Naomi slumped back into her chair again. “Well, there you go,” she sighed. “A happy ending.”

  “Is it?” Jesse asked.

  Gritting her teeth against a surge of frustration, Naomi stood and started to pace. “Listen,” she said firmly, “I think I still care about you, okay? Beyond friendship. Beyond nostalgia. I thought it might go away, but it hasn’t.”

  She waited for a response, any response, but Jesse stayed silent. She stopped pacing.

  “Jesse?” she said. “Are you there?”

  “Yes,” he whispered. “I’m here. I had no idea you felt that way. If I’d known, I would have called you months ago.”

  Was he admitting he felt the same way? No, she couldn’t jump to conclusions. “I think we should decide together where we’re going to go from here,” she said boldly. “Maybe … maybe it’s time I invited you down here so we can figure it out.”

  He paused for another moment, and then said firmly, “Okay, I’ll book a flight.”

  Her heart skipped a beat. “Really?”

  “Why not? I think we have a lot to talk about. How does next week sound?” There was the sound of clacking keys. “Next Saturday morning?”

  She leaned against her desk for support, thrown off balance by how quickly he had agreed to the invitation. She didn’t know why Jesse’s reaction surprised her. He was the one who had suggested she invite him to Italy in the first place. “That sounds perfect,” she said. “I’ll make sure my schedule is clear.” She had no doubt Gianni wouldn’t mind her switching her regular day off from Monday to Saturday.

  “Great, I’ll see you then. Sorry, but I’m exhausted and need to get to bed. You sleep well, okay?”

  “I will. Good night, Jesse.”

  He said goodbye and ended the call. In a sort of stupor, Naomi lowered her phone and lifted her eyes to the wall in front of her. It was filled with little framed pictures of the restaurant and previous employees. One in particular stood out to her, and she walked across the room to get a better look. It was a picture of Gianni and a beautiful woman standing close to him. The photograph was old and faded. Gianni was young, with hair as black as the woman’s. Her lips were red. The ocean behind them sparkled. Naomi guessed the woman was Gianni’s wife, but she had never found the courage to ask what had happened to her. She had either passed away or they had separated. Whatever the case, they had been very happy when this picture was taken. The sparkle in young Gianni’s eyes made Naomi smile. He still hadn’t lost that sparkle.

  Touching the edge of the frame, Naomi closed her eyes against a wave of anguish. Ever since she had left Jesse in Italy, she had tried so hard to get away from the past that she hadn’t stopped to think about what she wanted for her future. She had been living in the present, content with finding happiness in the moment. But now, as she opened her eyes and looked at Gianni in the photo, so happy to be standing next to someone he loved, she wondered if she could ever find that same kind of happiness. Perhaps she could, but she was certain she would never find it alone.

  XII

  Naomi stepped back from the round patio table and studied her work. There were fresh-baked croissants and crusty bread loaves, fruit she had sliced up half an hour earlier, and several cheeses she’d spent the past week hand-picking at a local cheese shop she had recently discovered. Jesse’s favorite had always been a robiola Piemonte cheese served with olive oil and herbs. She had placed that plate right in the middle of the table, the round wheel of soft white cheese a perfect centerpiece to the colorful spread of food surrounding it.

  A gentle spring breeze blew a few dead leaves across the cobblestone patio just as the double doors squeaked open. Naomi spun around to see Elena ushering Jesse into the little courtyard. “Have a lovely meal,” she said, her cheeks pink as Jesse thanked her and then walked toward Naomi. Elena raised her eyebrows at his back and mouthed, “Strafigo!” at Naomi before closing the door.

  Elena was right. He was super hot, dressed in a pair of slacks and a gray button-down shirt that looked like it must have cost him half a paycheck. He was even wearing cufflinks, but he’d left the top buttons of his shirt undone, and his shoes managed to look both casual and expensive.

  “I think I’m underdressed,” Naomi said, looking down at her blouse, fitted jeans, and bare feet. She had planned to slip her shoes back on before Jesse arrived, but he was a good ten minutes early.

  His lips twitched into a nervous smile. “I’m sorry,” he said, glancing at the table of food and then down at his clothes. “You said brunch, and I figured your restaurant is a little more upscale, so—”

  Naomi rushed forward and stopped a few feet away from him. “No, please don’t apologize. I’m going to, um, go get my shoes. I’m always taking them off at the dumbest times. I’ll be right back. Have a seat. Maura will be out in a moment with coffee.”

  She needed to stop babbling! Brushing past Jesse, she hurried through the patio doors and closed them behind her. She rounded the corner just as Elena came out from the kitchen.

  “Oh, it is you,” Elena said, her eyes wide. “Is something wrong?”

  Naomi leaned against the wall to catch her breath. “I’m not ready for this,” she gasped. “He looks so good. I didn’t expect him to look so good. What is wrong with me?”

  Laughing softly, Elena took Naomi gently by the arm. “Come on,” she said, steering Naomi toward the kitchen. “I think I have the perfect solution.”

  Five minutes later, Naomi walked back outside with shoes on her feet and a few sips of wine filtering into her bloodstream. This was the first time she had drunk alcohol before five in the evening, and she was pretty sure she would never do it again. Her head swam a little as she closed the door behind her and walked over to the table.

  “Are you all right?” Jesse asked, sipping at a cup of coffee.

  “Fine, fine,” Naomi sighed, and sat down across from him. “So, how was your flight?”

  He set down his cup and leaned back in his chair. “It was nice, thanks.” He glanced at the cheese in the middle of the table and raised an eyebrow. “Did you get all of this just for me?”

  She nodded and took a sip of her own coffee while trying to discreetly study Jesse. His jaw was slightly scruffy, which surprised her, but it didn’t look bad. In fact, it fit everything else about him—dressed up, but casual and comfortable at the same time. Why couldn’t she feel as confident and put together as he looked? She wondered if he was a wreck inside, like she was. She had been stressing about this moment the entire week, and it was finally here.

  “Please,” she said, setting down her cup and reaching for a croissant, “help yourself.”

  He smiled and leaned across the table for a piece of his favorite cheese. “I could never find this in the States,” he said as he put it on his plate. “I could never find a lot of Italian staples there, so it’s good to be back.”

  “Same here,” Naomi agreed as she put a few more things on her plate next to the croissant. “Peppers for my arrabbiata sauce, a good robiola, decent olives. The list goes on.”

  She reached for a cluster of grapes and realized Jesse was going for the same ones. “Oh, sorry,” she said as his fingers brushed against hers. The touch of his warm skin sent a cool rush through her body. “Here,” she said, lifting the grapes and holding them out to him. He took them, keeping his eyes on hers.

  “It’s so nice to see you again,” he said, his gaze so intense and earnest Naomi braced herself for what was coming. “I’m sorry I didn’t call you. I’m an idiot and kept telling myself the ball was in your court, and when you didn’t call, I figured you didn’t want to see me again.”

  So he had been waiting for her to call. Her heart beat faster as she looked down at her coffee. “I didn’t know if I wanted to see you again,” she explained. “I didn’t know a lot of things, but then I went to see Eric, and when I got back I suddenly had more courage to face other things.”

  Jesse’s eyebrows rose. “You saw Eric?”

  “I did,” she answered, still amazed at the change in her since that meeting. The guilt was gone. The fear was gone. She felt free, and she was still getting used to the sensation. “It was a good experience … for me, at least. He’s still the same as before. I don’t think he enjoyed the visit as much as he thought he would.” She lifted her coffee cup and took a sip. “I feel sorry for him.”

  Jesse nodded. “I’m glad it ended well for you.”

  Setting down her coffee, Naomi grabbed her croissant and tore off a piece, her fingers trembling. “So how’s your dad?” she asked, remembering the complex relationship between Jesse and his father. Jesse had always felt like he was a disappointment to his dad, and she wondered if that had changed now that Jesse’s life had gone in a different direction.

  Jesse swallowed a mouthful of food and smiled. “He’s retired now and says he’s thinking about moving over here to Europe, actually. Says he wants to travel as much as he can. Collect books. You know how he is.”

  Naomi laughed as she pictured James’s book-stuffed apartment back in Berkeley. “I think he’ll need to rent a few storage spaces to keep them all.”

  “Oh, he’s already got a few, trust me. He could start his own library.”

  Naomi smiled at the warmth in Jesse’s eyes as he spoke about his dad. “And your relationship?” she asked cautiously. “How’s that?”

  “It’s fantastic,” Jesse answered enthusiastically, and laughed to himself. “I mean, he’ll never be completely satisfied I chose any career over filling his shoes as an English professor, but we’re working through that.”

  Naomi laughed, and then gave Jesse a contented smile. “I’m so happy for you, Jesse. I know how much he means to you.”

  “Thanks,” he answered, and sat back in his chair as he looked up at a string of patio lights hanging between the branches above them. “So, back to what we were discussing earlier,” he said, his eyes still cast upward. “I’m sorry I didn’t call you. If it’s any consolation, I almost called you on my birthday back in January. Turning forty was a bit of a mid-life crisis for me.”

  “Ah,” Naomi said, hoping he didn’t feel like he had to keep apologizing for not calling her.

  “The big four-zero,” he sighed as he lowered his eyes to her. There was a seriousness to his expression that hadn’t been there before, but it was softened by a spark of hope in his eyes. “And all I could think about was how I’ve wasted so much time.”

  Naomi furrowed her brow. “Jesse, you were fixing your life. I wouldn’t call that wasted time.”

  He locked his gaze even more securely on hers. “Every minute without you is wasted time,” he said, his voice trembling. “I’ve dated other women since I was released, but nothing ever works out, and I doubt it ever will. When you called me last week, I thought it couldn’t be real. Sitting here right now, looking at you across this table, I still don’t feel like it’s real. I’ve convinced myself you could never love me again. I’m not good enough for you, no matter how much I change my life. I’ve given you up countless times, told myself I could be happy without you. In a lot of ways, I have been very happy without you—but I’d be a hell of a lot happier with you.”

  Naomi felt as if her head was floating away from her body. She knew it might be the wine, but Jesse’s words were much stronger than alcohol. Every look he gave her now, every movement of his lips, every breath of air he took to tell her how he felt about her made her lighter and lighter until she felt she might drift away on the breeze like a tuft of cotton.

  “You … still love me?” she whispered, gripping the arms of her chair to ground herself.

  Jesse nodded. “I’d be stupid not to tell you how I feel right this second,” he said. “Maybe what I’ve felt for you in the past wasn’t love, but I don’t know how else to explain the regard … the concern … the respect I’ve felt for you since I saw you in Berlin. All I want is for you to be happy, Naomi—even if that happiness doesn’t include me.”

  Her eyes stinging, Naomi gripped her chair even harder. The air smelled like cheese and fruit and coffee, and she took a deep breath of it and realized she had never felt so alive in her life. “Of course it includes you,” she said, focusing on Jesse’s green eyes. “I love you too. I’m sorry I hurt you in the past, but I—”

  Jesse cut her off with a wave of his hand. “Don’t ever apologize for that,” he said firmly. “Your choice that day changed me forever.”

  A tear broke free from Naomi’s eye, and she lifted her hand to swipe it away. “I never thought I’d want this,” she said as Jesse left his chair and came around the table toward her. “I never thought I’d see you again, let alone hear you say you still love me.”

  Jesse held out a steady hand to her. “I didn’t either. But here we are.”

  Taking his hand, Naomi stood and wrapped her arms around him, his slightly scratchy chin brushing against hers as he caught her up in a kiss so deep and rich she did float away for a moment. He had always been able to sweep her away with his kisses, but this one was different from any other. She sensed how he had changed over the years. He was more sure of himself, more open, and more refined.

  Everything about him blew her away.

  Lifting her hand, she brushed her fingers against the back of his neck to feel where he trimmed his hair, the smoothness of his skin, the slight tension of his muscles. He let out a soft moan of pleasure as she ran her fingers through his hair, and a moment later she pulled away and whispered, “Here we are.”

  *

  Naomi threaded her fingers through Jesse’s and pulled him closer to her on the tiny twin-size mattress. “I don’t want you to leave,” she whispered into his ear. “I don’t suppose you could quit your job and stay here with me forever?”

  Practically on top of her, Jesse brushed some hair from her forehead and hooked his ankle around hers. “I wish I could,” he sighed, “but leaving my job would be extremely complicated right now. I’m tied up in a lot of things I can’t even begin to explain.”

  “You mean things you’re not allowed to explain,” Naomi said lightly, comforting herself with the fact that she had at least been able to spend an entire day and night with him. Nothing could spoil the euphoria of being in his arms.

  He nodded, worry wrinkling his brow. “Do you think my job is going to be a problem?” he asked. “If it is, maybe I’ll consider leaving at some point. I know how much you hate secrets. But they’re not lies. They’re—”

  “No!” Naomi cried softly. “No, please, you’ve worked so hard to get where you are. You can’t give all of that up just for me. And I don’t have a problem with classified government secrets.”

  He sighed. “I don’t think you realize what I’m willing to give up to be with you, Naomi. Yesterday … last night …” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I’ve never felt so happy in my life.”

  “Well, you can’t leave your job,” she said firmly. “I was joking about you quitting. I only said that to let you know how much I’ve enjoyed this, that’s all.”

  “I know.” He rolled onto his side, nearly falling off the mattress in the process.

  Naomi grabbed him and pulled him close to her again. “Whatever we do,” she laughed, “I’m not sure we can keep doing it on this ridiculously small mattress. I might have to invest in a larger bed.”

  Jesse waggled his eyebrows at her. “My bed’s a king. When can you fly up to visit?”

  “Soon,” she promised. “I’ll figure it out, don’t worry.”

  “Until then,” Jesse said as he suggestively ran a finger down her hip, “why don’t we give this mattress another test run before I have to catch my flight?”

  Kissing him on the mouth, Naomi whispered, “Good plan,” and tried not to think about how much she would miss him once he was gone. She also tried not to think about how her one long-distance relationship had failed miserably. But what she felt for Jesse was a thousand times stronger than what she had ever felt for Finn. It would work out. It had to.

  A knock on the door made Naomi jump, and she rolled out of bed with the sheet clutched to her chest. “Yes?” she called out, her heart pounding.

  “Are you all right?” Elena’s muffled voice floated through the door. “The staff’s waiting for you downstairs.”

  “Oh, right.” Naomi put a hand to her forehead and gave Jesse a worried look. “We always eat breakfast together as a staff on Sunday mornings before work,” she whispered. “I forgot.”

  “I have no idea why you would forget such a thing,” Jesse teased, and she punched him lightly in the shoulder.

  Wrapping the sheet around her, she walked quickly to the door and cracked it open. “I’ll be down in a few minutes,” she said to Elena. “Go ahead and start without me.”

  Elena glanced down at the sheet and nodded. Then a little laugh left her throat like a hiccup, and a sly smile lit up her face. “He spent the night!” she whispered with glee. “I thought I heard something going on in here last night.”

  Naomi glanced back at Jesse, who was quickly pulling on his pants out of Elena’s view. “That’s right,” Naomi groaned, turning back to Elena, “these walls are like paper. I’m a little mortified now.”

  Elena gave her a wink and backed away from the door. “I won’t say a word to anyone,” she whispered. “Cross my heart. See you downstairs!” She hurried off, and Naomi closed the door.

  “Well, that was embarrassing,” Jesse laughed. “Guess we should get a hotel room from now on?”

 

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