She needed sleep. I’d kept her up last night, and she’d worked a full day, whereas I’d taken a nap after my workout. She worked too hard, which was another thing I wanted to talk to her about. But it would have to wait.

  Tomorrow. I would talk to her tomorrow.

  CHAPTER 28

  Julianna

  Reaching for a patient file on the top shelf, I couldn’t believe how sore I was in places I’d never been sore before. My upper and lower back, my arms, and my inner thighs all protested in pain with every move I made. Who knew that being tied up could be such a workout?

  When I’d woken up this morning at six fifteen, I’d attempted to scramble out of bed because I was running late. Instead of quickly and gracefully exiting the bed, I’d moved more like an elderly woman with arthritis on a cold winter morning.

  Cole had tried to talk me into staying home, letting him give me a massage, and soaking in a hot bath. As tempting as that had sounded, I knew better than to waste a sick or vacation day. Those things were like gold to single parents. There was no way I could justify using one on myself. What would happen if Anthony got sick or I needed to take time off to chaperone a field trip? One day might not be a lot when you have two people raising a child, but when it was all on one person, one day made all the difference in the world.

  When I’d seen Cole’s sincere disappointment that he couldn’t sway me to play hooky I offered to cook dinner at my place tonight. It really was the least I could do. So far, he’d always been the one to provide our feasts. Even though it had started out as a peace offering, I was actually excited to cook for Cole.

  I was also excited to see how many other things I could check off my list tonight. Cole had proven that he could combine several experiences in one when he’d blindfolded and bound me before skillfully and masterfully teasing my nipples with ice. At the memory, my sex clenched and I shifted uncomfortably in my rolling chair.

  Shaking off the thoughts of my sexual escapades, I turned my attention to the files I needed to pull for the afternoon appointments. My mind had been wandering all day. If I didn’t get this done, I’d have to work through lunch, and I was starving. I needed to concentrate.

  My mental trips alternated between this being my last night with Cole and all that might entail, and recaps of the past few weeks with him. Not just this last week, when things had gotten physical. The nights he’d come over for the two weeks leading up to when Anthony left for camp kept popping in there too.

  From the three of us playing Scrabble to watching movies and having dinner. Cole had even helped us clean out the small garage we had. It was like he fit with us. Anthony had even called him our third Musketeer.

  And that was what terrified me.

  As much as I hated the fact that our time together was almost up, I was also relieved. My intention going into this had been for things to be purely physical. But the problem was that I liked Cole. More than liked him, actually.

  At this point, I knew I’d be walking away with a shredded heart. One I would need to take time to mend—and even then I wasn’t sure I’d be able to get over him.

  If this went on for even one more week, I feared that my heart and soul would never be whole again. I’d be completely destroyed. I was getting too used to his smile, his texts, his smell. Him. Which might’ve been okay—amazing, even—if he were a regular guy and not Cole Carson, starting quarterback for the LA Legends, whose womanizing ways were well documented.

  But he was.

  The same melancholy cloud settled over me that had been showing up all week. I needed to stop wishing that things were different and just be grateful for the sexy vacation I’d had from my life this week.

  “Julianna!” Sharon called from the front desk at the same time that my phone buzzed in my pocket.

  Figuring it was my alarm alerting me it was lunch time, I was pulling it out to turn it off when I walked around the corner and saw four people—three men and one women—standing with massage tables under their arms in the waiting room. Looking down at my phone, I saw that the buzzing wasn’t my alarm, it was a text.

  Cole: Since you wouldn’t let me massage you today, I’ve called in professionals.

  “You did what?” I said out loud.

  “Ms. Perez, we’re here to give you and your coworkers massages,” one of the masseuses spoke up.

  Just as I was wrapping my head around that, another text came through.

  Cole: Eat up. You’re going to need your strength. I plan on wearing you out tonight.

  “What are you talking about?” I asked aloud as I stared down at my phone.

  Then a voice came from behind the massage team. “Where would you like us to set this up?”

  I peeked around the four masseuses and their tables to see two delivery people with a ton of food.

  “Conference room. We want it in the conference room. Hannah! Yvette! Get out here! We’re getting massages and there’s food!” Sharon yelled excitedly to their coworkers before turning to face me. “Did you win a contest or something?”

  “Yeah.” I nodded. Or something.

  There was no way I was going to tell the ladies I worked with about my…whatever it was…with Cole Carson. They were sweet, and I enjoyed working with them, but they gossiped more than schoolgirls. If they had even a hint that I knew Cole, they’d be all over it like white on rice.

  When Yvette and Hannah came out and saw what was going on, the three ladies erupted in cheers, all giving me hugs and thanking me profusely. I realized that, once again, Cole had spoiled me and he’d included the people who were important to me. First, he’d done it when he’d gotten the maid service and meal for Megan and Robbie, which I could’ve written off as a strategic move so that I’d have a harder time saying no. But this time… What could he possibly get from going the extra mile and sending enough food and masseuses for the rest of the girls at work? It couldn’t have been about sleeping with me—that ship had sailed right into very naughty waters.

  As we all made our way to the conference room, I texted back to thank him.

  Me: I don’t even know what to say. Thank you doesn’t seem like enough…but thank you!!

  Before I even put my phone back in my pocket, it buzzed again.

  Cole: Don’t worry… I know a lot of ways you can thank me tonight.

  I smiled as I closed out the screen before any of my nosy coworkers got a glimpse at the texts and started asking questions.

  Once we got to the conference room, we were handed robes to put on. All four of us went to the restroom and changed. When I came back into the conference room, I walked to the first table, but the woman at the end raised her hand.

  “Ms. Perez, I’m going to be your masseuse today.”

  “Oh, okay.” As I approached the woman, I wondered if Cole had specifically requested a woman and not a man to be the one to administer my massage, but I quickly dismissed that ridiculous thought. Cole wouldn’t be jealous. He was Cole Carson and I was me. He was a player. He’d happily agreed to this only being a one-week arrangement. This wasn’t serious to him.

  Right?

  CHAPTER 29

  Cole

  “So what’s up with you threatening the life and scaring the shit out of some security guard?” Maddox asked, as he spotted me on the weight bench. “Is this about the kid’s mom?”

  I set the bar back in the cradle and sat up. I wiped my face with a towel and sighed. I’d hoped that this situation would stay between Josie, legal, and me, but that didn’t appear to be the case.

  “So, what’s the deal, man? You just marking your territory?” Maddox asked.

  I ignored his question. I was tempted to explain that Chad had been harassing Julianna and then followed her home, but I was almost positive that Maddox knew that and was just trying to get a rise out of me.

  “Sooo…” my friend and coach crossed his arms. “I guess you decided not to take my advice to leave it alone.”

  Again, I didn’t answer. If Maddox wanted to talk about this, that was on him—I was not going to participate. Not when I was so unsure about what my future held with Julianna. Tonight. That’s all I knew I had with her for sure. After that, I had no idea. Hopefully, Maddox would get bored with a one-sided conversation and drop it.

  Instead, he shook his head slowly. “Oh, how the mighty have fallen.”

  Okay, so maybe he wasn’t going to get tired of talking to himself.

  I stood and walked over to grab my water. I knew that this was probably amusing as shit to him, but I was not in the mood to deal with it. All day, all I’d been able to think about was what was going to happen when I told Julianna how I felt. Never in my life had I been this nervous.

  What if she didn’t feel the same way I did? I knew that she wanted me, but did she want me? What if she walked away from this and didn’t look back? How could I make her see how good we would be together?

  Julianna had built an entire life that, as much as I wanted to be a part of it, did not include me. She was like an island unto herself. She depended on one person and one person only—the person she saw in the mirror.

  My mom had given me some insights into what it was like to be a single mom, and I respected all Julianna had done. But I was scared that the walls she’d built for self-protection might not come down easily. Not that I wouldn’t put in the work. I would. But I was still worried that it wouldn’t be enough.

  In a few weeks, I’d be leaving for training camp. How could I prove to her that I would be there for her, when I wasn’t actually there?

  “Damn. I didn’t know it was that bad.” Maddox stepped beside me and slapped his hand on my shoulder. “I was just giving you a hard time, but shit, man. You look miserable.”

  I shrugged “It’s complicated.”

  “Most things that are worth it are. If she’s the one, then it’s worth it.”

  “She’s the one,” I answered automatically.

  “Well, then there’s only one thing you can do.” A knowing smile spread on Maddox’s face. It was the same grin he got when he knew that he had the play that would break a game open.

  “What’s that?” I sure as shit didn’t have the answers, and at this point, I was desperate.

  “Un-complicate it,” he stated as if it were obvious.

  I nodded, but I really didn’t think it would be that simple. I almost asked how, but I feared that would be getting dangerously close to a Taster’s Choice moment, and that really wasn’t my MO.

  As we continued our workout, Maddox dropped the topic, but my mind kept filling with Julianna. The way she twisted her hair when she was nervous. The way she separated all of her food on her plate, because she didn’t want any of the flavors to mix. The way her face lit up whenever she talked about Anthony.

  I didn’t know what the fuck I’d been doing before she and Anthony had walked into my life. My past existence seemed so shallow now. I’d lived for myself. Now I had two people I wanted the opportunity to live for, and I was scared shitless I wouldn’t get the chance.

  CHAPTER 30

  Julianna

  I raced into the house and dropped the groceries on the counter. I was late. Again. It seemed to be a recurring theme this week.

  Cole would be here any minute. I needed to prep dinner and take a shower. I would skip the shower, but while the oil the massage therapist had used was amazing, the lavender scent was seriously getting to my sinuses.

  After removing the veggies from the bag, I quickly washed and chopped them. Luckily, I planned on making a simple and fast dinner. Chicken tacos were my specialty. They were always a crowd pleaser, but I was a little nervous that Cole wouldn’t like them.

  Or maybe I was nervous because this was our last night together. Or maybe I was nervous about what other things we would check off my list tonight.

  Whatever the reason, all the relaxation I’d gained from the amazing massage I’d gotten this afternoon was gone. Stressed didn’t even begin to cover what I was feeling. I’d been biting the inside of my mouth so hard on the drive home that I was surprised I hadn’t drawn blood.

  So many different scenarios of how tonight was going to play out had congested my mind that, if they were cars, there’d be more bumper-to-bumper traffic than the 405 on the Friday night before Memorial Day weekend. Some of the scenarios were so ridiculous that I hadn’t even entertained them. But I’d narrowed the possible, plausible outcomes to best case versus worst case.

  As far as I could see it, best-case scenario went like this: Cole showed up tonight. We had a lovely dinner. We got down and dirty. Cole left. I picked up Anthony tomorrow afternoon and went on with my life.

  Then there was worst-case scenario: Cole showed up tonight. Things were awkward between us because I was being a basket case. Things got physical. I got emotional. Cole thought I was a crazy. He left. I picked up Anthony tomorrow and I spent not months, not years, but the rest of my life trying to get over him.

  I was hoping with all my heart that it would be the former.

  After placing the shredded chicken in the plastic baggie to marinate and tossing it in the fridge, I was beginning to feel a little less frazzled. With dinner prepped, I only needed to hop in the shower. In ten minutes, I’d be back on schedule and ready to face Cole.

  Just as I made it to my bedroom door, a loud knock sounded.

  Shit. I’d been so close. Damn him and his early arrivals.

  Turning on my heel, I resisted biting my inner lip for fear of drawing blood. I was greasy from my massage, wearing no makeup, and still in my scrubs. Adding a bloody mouth to that picture was not going to happen.

  As I opened the door, I was all set to make a quick apology about how I was running late, tell Cole to make himself at home, and then escape to the bathroom. But the second I laid eyes on him, all of the air rushed from my lungs.

  He was dressed in khaki shorts and a white shirt that looked amazing against his olive skin. His sexy five-o’clock shadow was in full effect. The muscles on his chest, forearms, and biceps were so defined and large that it looked like he’d spent the entire day at the gym, which he might have.

  But his appearance wasn’t the reason I was having a hard time forcing oxygen into my lungs. It was the look in his eyes that had stolen my breath away. It was his normal possessive, passionate, primal stare but on super steroids. I felt it in every cell in my body.

  “Can I come in?” Cole asked with a sexy half smile that made his dimple come out and say hi.

  “Oh, yeah.” I stepped to the side to let him in as I shook my head, trying to clear the lust fog so I could string a sentence together. “Sorry…I’m um…out of it… I’m just…running a little late…so just stay…and I have to… I’ll just need—”

  Cole cut off my rambling explanation by crushing his mouth to mine. His thumbs brushed along my jaw and his fingers gripped the back of my neck. All thoughts, except for how amazing Cole’s lips, tongue, and hands felt, disintegrated like granules of sugar in hot coffee. Then my tongue met his and I lost myself completely in the force of the kiss.

  After what could’ve been an hour or a minute—I had no concept of time—he pulled away and looked down at me with so much affection that it made a tear come to my eye.

  “Better?” he asked.

  “Better.” I smiled, attempting not to let him see how the kiss and the look in his eyes were affecting me. Pulling out of his hold, I grabbed the remote control and pushed it in his hand. “I’m running a little late. I’m going to go take a quick shower. I won’t be long. Make yourself at home.”

  Then I spun around so fast that my hair whipped me in the face as I rushed down the hall. Once I was in my bathroom, I shut the door and leaned against it, breathing hard. I had to get it together. The last thing I wanted was for Cole to see how much power he had over me.

  Looking in the mirror, I barely recognized myself. My lips were swollen from Cole’s claiming kiss, my eyes were wild, and my shirt was wrinkled and disheveled. I was a mess.

  In that moment, reality dropped on me like a ton of bricks. As amazing as this week had been, it wasn’t just good that it would be over after tonight—it was essential. If Cole could make me feel this much, get me to pull back the curtain I’d never let anyone behind in this short amount of time, then what would happen if we spent more time together?

  I’d been worried about my heart, but Cole had the ability to crush my soul. That was not a luxury I could afford. My strength and my spirit were the only things that had gotten me through my mother abandoning me, my aunt kicking me out, and Jared leaving me.

  After peeling off my scrubs, I turned the water to hot with a renewed sense of balance. All week—and, if I was keeping it real, for a while before that—I’d been falling for Cole. Hard. It made me feel weak, out of control, and vulnerable. It was like my life had been turned inside out, and I’d felt powerless to fix it.

  The power I’d given this experience was the issue. Not Cole. He’d only been able to affect me as much as I’d let him. I needed to take my power back, gaining the control my life depended on.

  Get in. Get some. Get out.

  No harm. No foul. No heartbreak.

  CHAPTER 31

  Cole

  I paced around the living room feeling like a wild animal trapped in a cage. I had so much I wanted to say to Julianna, to do to Julianna. Instead, I was wearing a hole in her carpet.

  The second the shower came on I was reminded of the first night I’d been here. I’d been so confused, not sure about anything except the fact that I couldn’t get Julianna out of my mind. That I had no interest in anyone else.

  Now, I had so much more clarity on the situation. So much had changed over the past few weeks. I loved Julianna and Anthony. My relationship with her had developed from strangers to friends and then to friends with benefits. All I had to do now was move that status up another notch.

  Which brought me back to why I was walking in circles around the living room. I needed to cement our relationship and make things official between us. I couldn’t do that when she was in the shower.

 

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