The Amendment, page 17
“What are you doing here?”
He strode forward and shook my hand, then in an uncharacteristic gesture, leaned down and hugged me. It was awkward and stilted, but it meant a great deal. He clapped me on the back and stood.
“I hear you need some wooing tips.”
Laughing, I shook my head. “A phone call would have sufficed.”
“Nope. This was important. Besides, Emmy was missing her friends, so we came out for a couple of days. Reid will be by later. He and Becca are visiting her father.”
“The whole gang is here?” I asked, torn between amazement at the fact that they would go to the trouble and appalled they were putting their lives on hold because of me. “What about Sandy?”
He shook his head. “She’s holding down the fort. Her granddaughter was in town for a rare visit. Otherwise, she would have come too.” He indicated the counter. “She sent some of your favorite bagels and cream cheese from the bakery you like so much.”
“I appreciate it, Bent.” My throat was thick again—something that seemed to be happening on a regular basis. I cleared it and spoke. “I appreciate all of this.”
“You’re welcome. You and Katy are—”
Aiden interrupted him. “I already covered the whole family thing, Bent.”
Bentley glared at him, but Aiden shrugged. “Just saying.”
I chuckled as Bentley rolled his eyes. He grinned, his expression amused. “Well, if Tree Trunk has that covered, let’s get down to it. Let’s make a wooing plan.”
I rolled to the table and picked up the energy drink Aiden had waiting. I really wanted a beer but decided to wait and ask for that later.
“I sent flowers to her this morning. And to Gracie.” Katy had sent me a picture of Gracie holding her flowers and beaming. Her text of thanks ended in two kisses and a heart. When I responded and asked for a picture of her with her flowers, I didn’t like what I saw. Katy was pale, and although she was smiling, it didn’t reach her eyes. I had a lot to make up for.
“Good start.” Bentley sat back, stroking his chin. “Maddox and I had an idea. I did a little research on the plane. There’s a great boutique hotel downtown. Five-star. Specializes in spa treatments and pampering. The chef is world-class. I think a couple of days there for all the girls would be a great idea. Laura and Jenna included. They even have in-house day care so the kids would be looked after.” He explained. “They offer kid pampering too. Indoor playground and kiddie pool. Mini massages, face painting, fun food, that sort of thing.” He glanced my way. “I checked—there’s a two-day package, and I took the liberty of booking it starting tomorrow. I blocked an entire floor for them.”
“That’s a great idea.”
“They can look after the girls, and we’ll look after you.” He winked. “I’ll make sure Aiden doesn’t kill you.”
“Katy might prefer it if he did.”
Bentley shook his head, looking thoughtful. “No. She needs some time. You both do. But she loves you.”
I hoped that was still the case.
“All right, Bent. Teach me the art of wooing my wife.”
He rolled up his sleeves. “Prepare to learn, Padawan.”
We all laughed at his words.
Later that night, I went into the den. We had cleaned up the wreckage I had caused the first day they were here. Aiden made me bend over in the chair, picking up papers and drawings and stacking them on the desk. I lifted items that were intact, while he and Maddox cleaned up the broken debris. Shame had rippled through me as I worked, my body exhausted from everything else Aiden had made me do, but I kept my mouth shut. I still had a lot of work to do to make the den tidy, and I didn’t want Katy to see the mess I had caused.
With a sigh, I picked up a stack of papers to sort through, startling when a voice interrupted me.
“Richard.”
I looked up. Becca was in the doorway, her expression unhappy.
Rebecca Holden had come to The Gavin Group on a co-op her first year in school. I recognized her talent right away and took her under my wing. She became a valued coworker to me, a friend to Katy, and an adopted auntie to my girls. I considered her part of my family, and when the contract came up with BAM and she asked to be the liaison between the two offices, I hated to see her go. I had hoped she would return, but she had fallen in love with Toronto, the office there, and more importantly, Reid Matthews, BAM’s resident IT genius. I missed her in the office and having her around after hours, but she was happy and settled, and that was more important.
Except now, she was here and looking at me as if she was disappointed in me. Knowing she had seen Katy, I was certain she was upset with my behavior.
I swallowed, hating to think I had disappointed yet another person I cared for.
“Becca.”
She strolled in, gazing around, and sat in the one chair that was free from clutter.
“Love what you’ve done with the place.”
I scrubbed my face. “Yeah, not my most shining moment as an adult.”
She laughed, the sound without humor. “I’d say nothing about your behavior has been very adult-ish lately.”
“I’m aware.”
“Are you?” she asked quietly. “Are you aware of what you’ve put Katy through? How devastated she is right now, Richard?” She shook her head. “I’ve never seen her like this. Your behavior isn’t the Richard I know. What’s going on?”
I folded my hands on the desk to stop the trembling. The thought of the pain I caused my Katy made me want to rage again—this time at myself. “I got lost in my head. In the what-ifs.”
“The what-ifs being if you can’t walk again?”
I decided to be honest. “Basically, yes. In my head, I decided I wouldn’t be enough for Katy and the girls if that were the case.”
She shook her head. “I don’t think that’s your decision to make. I know your wife. She would love you regardless.”
“I didn’t want that for her.”
She huffed. “Again, not your decision. Katy is smart and strong. She can decide what she wants—what she feels is best for her and your family.” She paused. “And she feels that is you—regardless of your mobility.”
“I know.” My voice caught. “She’s been far more forgiving and understanding than I deserve.”
“We forgive those we love, Richard. And she loves you despite the fact that you’ve been a total bastard.”
“I miss her, Becca.”
“Then work hard. Earn her forgiveness.”
“I’m trying.” I barked out a dry laugh. “Given my past, I have no idea why I have so many good people in my life willing to help.”
She shook her head. “You don’t get it, do you, Richard? It’s because of your past. You changed and became a good man. By doing so, you brought the good people into your life.” She scowled. “Now, stop screwing it up and acting like an asshole.”
Reid Matthews sauntered in, his laptop tucked under his arm. I swore that thing was attached to him twenty-four seven.
“Hey, Dickhead.”
I rolled my eyes at his nickname, which he, no doubt, picked up from Aiden, but I held my tongue. I deserved to be called much worse.
He stood behind Becca, laying his hand on her shoulder.
“You got your head out of your ass? Eye on the prize, so to speak?”
His voice was mild, although I saw the anger in his eyes. Katy had only met him a couple of times, but her maternal streak ran deep, and she had treated him like a mother would a son—something he had lacked for so long. And he, in turn, treated her with the same protectiveness. My behavior would infuriate him.
“Yep.”
“You going to push?”
“Aiden is torturing me well, yes.” I paused. “And being without my family is punishment enough. Even though I brought it on myself, I am suffering, Reid. I’ll do whatever I need to in order to get them back.”
He studied me, then sat down beside Becca. “Good. You’re gonna love the changes I made to Aiden’s online program where he tracks your progress. It’ll give him more ways of seeing your weaknesses and making you work harder.”
There was no disguising the delight in his eyes at the thought of me suffering more.
“Excellent,” I stated dryly.
“You’ll get your family back,” Becca said quietly. “They all love you too much for that not to happen.”
I met her gaze. “That’s what I’m doing this for. To be the man they need.”
She stretched over the desk, covering my hands. “You are, Richard. No matter what. You need to believe that in order for this to work.” She paused. “They need you.”
She was right. They were all right.
I glanced at the picture on my wall. My favorite one of Katy and the girls.
My family.
That was my reason.
I needed them too.
I hated to see Bentley leave. I knew he needed to be in Toronto, and with Aiden and Maddox here, his trip was a quick one. I didn’t see the girls, aside from Becca. They were there for Katy, and I was glad she had the support. Reid hung around at times, making sure to tweak his program, living up to his promise of me working even harder and not letting his delight in that fact stay hidden. Still, I was going to miss him. He saw my girls and took videos of them, sharing them with me when I finished my torture sessions. Gracie playing. Heather sleeping. Katy reading to them. They helped get me through the days. Reid forgave me enough, and he downloaded them to my phone so I could watch them whenever I wanted. They were the last thing I saw before I closed my eyes at night.
When he was leaving, Bentley shook my hand and told me to keep going. He met my gaze, his expression serious.
“I know you can do this, Richard.”
“Thanks.” I indicated his partners with a jerk of my head. “Thanks for the loan.”
“I expect to be repaid—with interest. You had better start dreaming up campaigns to knock my socks off.”
“Will do.”
He offered me one last piece of advice about Katy.
“Think about what she loves, and give it to her. Let her know you’re thinking about her. Make her your number one priority. Never let her doubt that.”
I took his words to heart.
Katy loved the spa. She sent pictures of them all enjoying the treatments, sipping champagne, even funny ones of Heather getting a baby massage and Gracie having her toes done with the girls, holding up a glass of apple juice. They made me smile, even as my heart ached.
I sent flowers to the hotel for Katy. I added a box of her preferred chocolates.
When she went back to Laura and Graham’s, I sent a chef to make her favorite meal. A basket of bath products to indulge her love of soaking in the tub. I sent it with a stuffed bear, fluffy and cute with a card attached, reading:
Snuggle this until you’re home.
I’ll take his place when you’re ready.
All my love—Your Richard.
One night, lying in our bed alone, I turned on some music. I shut my eyes and listened as the soothing voice of Neil Diamond played in the darkness. A song came on, and for some reason, the lyrics hit me as they never had before. “The Story of My Life” spoke of the depth of his love for the woman in his life and how much she meant to him. The fact that he felt he didn’t exist before she came into his life and would cease to do so after she left. The song sang the words I held in my heart for Katy.
I listened to it over and again. I found the song and sent it to Katy with a voice message, hoping she was still awake and would hear what I did.
This is my song to you, sweetheart. It says what I can’t. Please come back.
I waited for over an hour before she replied. Her words soothed me as only she could.
Our story isn’t over, Richard. But I love the words and the thought.
The best gift of all was a picture I had found on my phone. It was a simple snap of the four of us together. We were out by the pool. My back rested against a tree, and Katy and my girls were wrapped in my arms. The happiness on her face said it all as she had lifted her arm out and snapped the picture. I had it printed and framed and sent it with a heartfelt note I composed.
My darling Katy,
This picture symbolizes everything that is good and real in my life. My family. The sweetest little girls ever to exist on this earth and the most wonderful wife a man could ask for. My children are blessed to have you as their mother, and one day I hope to be the man deserving of you again. My biggest regret isn’t losing the use of my legs—it’s the harsh words that sent you away from me, when I should have been honest and told you my fears.
Come back to me, Katy. Believe in me again.
I’ll make it up. I promise.
Always—Richard.
Every gift was acknowledged. Each one allowed me to hear her voice, listen to her soft sigh of pleasure as she described her reaction. The taste of the meal she ate, wishing I were there to eat it with her. The scent of the lotion she rubbed into her skin, knowing how much I would have liked to do it for her. The fragrance of the flowers that perfumed the air and made her think of me.
I was as wooed by her words as she was by my offerings.
The last gift was met with silence. I waited all day for the phone to ring, yet it remained quiet. Late that night, my phone buzzed with a message, and I scanned it, the short message meaning more than any thank you could come close to.
I love us. I’m not giving up. I believe. I will always believe in you.
I love you.
Katy.
I slept better that night than I had in days.
Aiden wheeled me over to a set of parallel bars that hadn’t been in the room the day before. Equipment arrived all the time, and other pieces disappeared as Aiden changed his plan or Colin suggested something new to try.
He locked the brakes and stood in front of me. Colin walked over and stood beside me.
“Today, you stand.”
I eyed the bars. “I don’t think—”
“We don’t say that here,” Aiden interrupted me. “We try. With everything we have. Get your ass out of that chair and stand.”
I studied the bars with trepidation.
Aiden grunted impatiently. “Richard, you’ve made great progress. Your muscles are getting strong, the feeling is coming back, you can wiggle your toes on your own. Trust me on this. You can do it.”
I looked at his serious face, then at Colin. He nodded in encouragement.
“I’m not sure I can pull myself up to the bars,” I admitted.
“Okay,” Colin agreed. “Baby steps.”
He took one arm, and Aiden took the other. The feeling of being lifted to my feet was odd. I knew my legs were there, I could feel the pressure, yet I was like a newborn, unsteady and off-balance. I grasped the bars, holding with all my strength.
Pain hit me, a burning fist of pressure in my lower back. I gripped the bars harder, sweat breaking out on my forehead.
Colin and Aiden exchanged a look.
“Breathe through it, Richard,” Aiden said. “It will go away.”
I shut my eyes and concentrated. My pulse rate returned to normal, and my body eased as the pain lessened.
“Let go,” I huffed out.
They released me, and I stayed up. Shaking and unsure, but I was up. On my own two feet.
“I want to walk.”
“Then walk,” Aiden said in a calm voice.
I concentrated, pushing with all my might. My leg slid forward, not more than a few inches, and I managed to drag the other one behind it. Sweat poured down my neck, my arms shaking, my body firing all sort of nerves and reactions at the effort. The pain fisted me again, and I grunted.
“One more,” Colin encouraged. “You can do one more.”
I pushed and tried, yet nothing happened. Deflated, I faltered, Aiden and Colin moving quickly to grab me before I fell. They eased me back into my wheelchair.
Aiden crouched down. “Do not get fucking discouraged. That was amazing. You took a step, Richard. Tomorrow, you’ll take another. The light, dude. You’re seeing the light.”
I met his gaze. He was beaming. I looked back at the bars and gritted my teeth.
“I want to try again.”
He stood. “Now you’re talking.”
I spent three days of torture using the bars. Pushing upon my own, grasping the metal, and forcing my feet to move. Some attempts, the pain grabbed me, other times, it was absent.
I looked awkward and awful, but I didn’t care. I was finally free from that chair—even if it was only for a few moments. I pushed myself to the maximum every day. Maddox filmed my progress, letting me watch it after so I could see the improvement myself. The progress was there, but it was slow. I struggled both physically and mentally to go forward. To accept and to live in this moment and not get discouraged. That was one of the hardest things for me.
I sighed as I got dressed having finished my morning workout. Aiden and Maddox had sat down with me, and I knew what they were going to say even before they said it. They had to go home—return to their lives. Bentley needed them back in Toronto. I held up my hand before they could talk.
“I know, guys. You’ve given me two weeks of your time. I will forever be grateful for it.” I looked at Aiden. “I’ll work with Colin and on my own. I promise.” I rubbed my legs. “You’ve given me something I didn’t have before. Hope.”
“You will walk, Richard.”
“I know I will. However long it takes, I will get out of this chair.” I pulled in a long breath. “When do you leave?”
“Day after tomorrow.”
“Does, ah, Katy know you’re going?”
“Yes.”
I nodded. I missed her terribly. The texts and calls weren’t enough, and I was desperate for her to come home. As much as having Aiden and Maddox here was great, I wanted my wife and girls back. I was determined to talk to her today. I needed her to come here so we could talk face-to-face.
My thoughts were grim as I headed to the kitchen. Maddox and Aiden were standing in the family room, looking as if they were hiding something.
