Constant, page 3
“Very good, pet. Sleep well.” He held the door for Roddy and watched his sub head across the parking lot. Vegas leaned on the door frame and waited for Roddy to leave the lot. Roddy’s care and well-being were utmost in his mind.
After a moment, Vegas headed back to his playroom. Excitement rocked through his veins. He’d been drawn to Roddy since their first meeting and embraced the change in their relationship. He’d crossed a personal line by fucking one of his subs, but he didn’t regret his actions. Their moment had begged for an increased level of intimacy.
Roddy’s hesitance in the moment before they’d fucked bothered Vegas. Granted, Roddy hadn’t said no, but he’d been worried. Vegas wondered if he’d pushed Roddy too far.
Next time he’d be honest and explain to Roddy what he wanted. We’ll fuck before this play session is over.
Vegas locked the playroom door. He hated cleaning up the mess after a session, but usually the job entailed cleaning the toys and putting everything away—not dumping the trash and cleaning up jizz. He chuckled as he donned latex gloves and proceeded to clean up. The grunt work reminded him of his work at the community center. The kids had a penchant for taking every bit of equipment from the lockers and forgetting to put everything back. He spent more time picking up than anything else, but he enjoyed his other job.
Being at the community center was Andrew Vegas’ job. Master Vegas only stepped out in Darkness. He tossed the paper towels in the trash then removed the gloves. As far as he was concerned, the two sides of who he was weren’t going to interact. No one needed to know he spanked people at night and taught basketball to kids during the day.
Maybe he was crazy for trying to have a life outside the club. Many of the Doms only worked for Darkness. Not him. He needed the normalcy of a regular job. If he told Roddy about his dual life, would Roddy understand? Or push him away? Should he even bother to say something to Roddy?
Things needed to progress a tad more before he allowed any grand confessions. For all he knew, the coupling with Roddy was a doomed situation. He shook his head. He refused to allow the negative to intrude on his situation. If things were meant to progress with Roddy, then so be it. He’d be ready.
Chapter Three
The next morning when Vegas woke, he stretched and stared at the ceiling. For the next few hours, he was simply Andrew. No one wanted him to use a paddle on them or call them nasty names. Thank God. He loved his evenings at Darkness, but he cherished his time at the community center. Andrew climbed out of bed then hurried through a shower.
Time for eight hours of basketball lessons and helping kids with homework.
Ten minutes later, he strolled through the door of the Lyons Community Center. Unlike many mornings, he’d been given a later shift. Most of the kids were already in the cafeteria, munching away on breakfast. He scanned his ID badge then punched his time card in the tracker.
“Hi, Andy.” Miriam, the woman in charge of everything at the main desk waved. “The kids have been asking for you. I hear there’s a big basketball tourney coming up.”
“I did promise them a play off if they turned in good grades next week.” He signed the clipboard. “I’ll probably let them have one anyway. They’ve been working hard.”
“I’m sure they have been.” She rounded the desk. “I wanted to thank you in person. I know you weren’t sure you’d be comfortable working with kids when you started, but you’re making a difference. That’s something special and should be cultivated. I’m glad you stepped out of your comfort zone. The kids really appreciate it, too.”
“Thank you, Miriam.” He wasn’t sure what else to say. Miriam always came across cheery, but she rarely doled out compliments. To hear her praise him shocked him.
“Are you seeing someone?” she asked.
“No. Are you planning to set me up?” He widened his stance. “You didn’t strike me as the ‘I’ve got this friend’ type.”
“Oh, no.” She shook her head and laughed. “I wondered because you do so well with the kids. If you had a partner, you should consider adoption. You’d make a great dad.”
“Because I’m good with a mop?” He chuckled. “Or because I know how to tie my shoes?” He waved his hand. “Sorry. I’m being a dick. When I finally find someone I want to settle down with, he and I will have to decide if kids are in our future. I’d love to adopt a couple of kids, but not as a single dad.”
“I’m sure you’d be great.” She swatted his arm. “Go help with breakfast. Clean-up starts any minute now.” She headed back behind the desk, leaving him to his thoughts.
“Yes, ma’am.” Andrew strolled into the cafeteria. Some of the children were still eating. The majority had already lined up for their school buses. He made his way down the line, giving high-fives to many of the kids. He stopped at one of the tables.
“Who left this mess?” he asked in his best bellow. “Two full trays of food.”
Two little girls, kids he hadn’t seen at the center before, crept over to him. “Sorry,” one of the girls said. “I wanted to catch up to Monique.”
The girl with dark brown pigtails nodded. “I didn’t want to miss my bus.”
“Are you new?” Andrew sat on the bench.
“I’m not.” The blonde girl shrugged. “I forgot to throw my trash away. Sorry, Mr. Andrew.”
“I’m new,” the girl whom he guessed to be Monique said. She grasped the purple straps of her backpack. “I wasn’t sure which bus was mine. I’m going to Roosevelt Elementary.”
“Then you were in the right line. Put your trash in the waste barrels and your trays on the cart, then get back in line. This is our community center and we all want it to look great. Okay?”
“Yes, sir,” the girls said in unison.
As he’d asked, they collected up their trash and deposited everything in the correct places. Together, they giggled and returned to their bus line.
Andrew grabbed a pail of soapy water and a wash rag from the sink and began wiping down the other tables. As he cleaned, he thought about Roddy and the mess Andrew called his life. Being at the community center gave him a purpose in life. He helped shape young minds and kept those same kids off the streets. But Darkness soothed the more primal part of his nature. He could be himself and allow the rougher edges to come through in a safe environment.
He slogged the wet cloth over the chipped laminate. Was he putting the cart before the proverbial horse by thinking Roddy would want a relationship outside the club? Duh. They’d had sex one time. Sure, they’d played together in the BDSM realm for more than two years, but a solid relationship with romance and love didn’t just happen overnight.
Uncertainty set in. A man who worked with kids at the community center wasn’t the type of guy a man like Roddy would date. He needed someone with the same type of job in order for them to attend fancy functions and such. He’d want a sexy man with a fine character and a great social standing on his arm. Jesus. If he managed to get Roddy to date him, he’d be short-changing him. The moment anyone on Roddy’s staff found out that Andrew went by Vegas and worked at a fetish club, they’d find out what he and Roddy did at the club. Then they’d laugh Roddy out of the station and could easily fire him.
Fucking balls. Maybe he should keep the relationship to a simple Dom/sub situation.
He dunked the dirty rag in the water then sighed. His last relationship hadn’t ended well and chewed him raw. Every time he considered trying again, the old ghosts came back to haunt him.
“You’re a freak,” Mick had said. “Spanking people isn’t normal.”
He winced. Even as a memory, Mick’s words hurt.
‘You won’t find someone who can handle your abusive shit. They’ll want a normal guy, like I want. They’ll want you to change and you’ll walk out because you don’t want to change. You want the world to revolve around you.’
Was that true? He didn’t think so, but he’d been wrong before. He’d done plenty of changing for Mick. He’d moved from his hometown to the suburbs around Cleveland so Mick could have a better job. He’d given up most of his nights at Darkness in favor of spending time with Mick. The moving had only helped to put distance between them. The nights spent together tended to end up in arguments rather than lovemaking.
Painting Roddy with the same skewed brush wouldn’t do any good. He had no proof that a relationship with Roddy wouldn’t work, just as he had none that it would. He sighed again. The only way he’d know if something could happen and be successful was to share his feelings with Roddy. He’d be honest and confess his deepest desires.
Please, God, don’t let me be making a huge mistake.
* * * *
Friday morning, Roddy sat behind his desk at Channel 25 and rifled through his paperwork. For the first time in two weeks, Daniel, one of the assistant producers, had taken over producing the Friday newscast. Roddy was enjoying the chance to hand over the reins and allow someone else to make the broadcast better by stressing over the breaks and camera shifts. But Daniel wasn’t planning on sticking around Channel 25. No, he’d already accepted a position with Channel 47. The shit.
Roddy signed a requisition form for a new microphone. The set needed an overhaul, but without a major influx of cash, they’d have to make do with what they had. He sighed. Wouldn’t his ex just love to see the state of Roddy’s life now? Justin had only stuck around with Roddy because he wanted fame and fortune. He had wanted to be on the broadcast because he wanted the attention. Now, hardly anyone was paying mind to Channel 25 and there certainly weren’t any great fortunes to be made by reading the news.
A knock on his door ripped him from his thoughts. When Roddy looked up, Tory McClellan stood in the doorway.
“River and I are going to the baseball game. The team gave us comp tickets because River did that mural behind home plate. It’s just an AA ball game, but even the big hitters had to start in the minor leagues. Someone has to watch those minor leaguers before they become famous.” Tory folded his arms. “Want to come with?”
Of all his newscasters, Roddy appreciated Tory the most. The guy did his job, turned his stories in on time or early, and never complained. He served as a model to the other members of the staff. Unfortunately, like Roddy, there was only one Tory, and Tory couldn’t carry the broadcast alone.
“Nah. I’ve got plans.” Boy, did he have plans. His ass tingled in anticipation. The tender spots from the caning on Wednesday were partially healed, but he couldn’t wait to put himself in Master Vegas’ willing control again.
“A boyfriend?” Tory stepped into Roddy’s office and closed the door. “Rod, I’m proud of you. You need a special someone in your life—especially for stress relief.”
“It’s not a boyfriend.” Although he wished he and Master Vegas could be something more. “It’s still in the new phase.”
“So… A hook-up? Those can be good, but dangerous. You have feelings for them, then find out they aren’t interested in more. You get your heart broken.” Tory shook his head. “Whatever works, man.”
Roddy leaned back in his seat. Tory and his partner, River, had been close for years, and once they’d hooked up, they’d become the couple with the storybook romance. Roddy wanted a love like they already had.
“It’s complicated.” He drummed his fingers on the desk. He’d seen Tory at Darkness once, but had kept his mouth shut. He had no intention of outing his friend, but he wondered if River and Tory went there often. “Do you have to get to the game right now?”
“Are you trying to ditch me?” Tory waggled his eyebrows. “Say the word and I’m gone. Go crazy with your not-quite-almost-could-be boyfriend.”
“No, I’d actually like you to stick around a moment and not for notes on another story. I wanted to ask you something.”
“Sounds kinky. You do know I’m a happily partnered-up man.” Tory grinned. “I’m also giving you shit. What’s up?”
At least Tory had a sense of humor. The tension Roddy had worked off the last time he’d been with Master Vegas came back with a vengeance. He rubbed the back of his neck and forced himself to ask the questions burning in his mind. “How— How did you and River meet? You can tell me it’s none of my business and to fuck off.”
Tory shrugged. “Nothing to hide. We met in college. I needed a roommate and he fit the bill.”
“You knew about his sexuality?” Roddy asked. “Again, if it’s too personal…”
“You’re fine.” Tory stuffed his hands into his pockets. “He was honest. The first day we talked, he said, ‘I’m gay and if that bothers you, tell me now.’ It didn’t, so we started living together. The other facets of River took me longer to learn, but I did and I’m glad. Why?”
Christ. How in the hell was he going to ask such a personal question without sounding like a dork? “I’m going to Darkness. Before you flip out, I know the reputation.” And if Tory ever found out what Roddy had done while he was at the club… He’d never be able to show his face at Channel 25 again. Tory might understand. The others wouldn’t.
Tory plopped onto one of the chairs opposite Roddy. His voice dropped to a whisper. “What’s your kink? Everyone there has a kink. Me? I like to watch. I’ll do a little domination, but watching is my thing. River gets what he needs, though, and I’m proud to be the one who gives it to him. What about you—since I assume you want to unburden yourself and make sure you’re not the only one.”
“Is it that obvious?”
“No.” Tory shrugged. “I’m good at reading people. How else do you think I got the football players to talk for that equal rights story?”
“True,” Roddy said. Mentioning the football story reminded Roddy just how good Tory was at his job. He’d managed to get each player to discuss personal matters without seeming to pass judgment. Tory worked with their secrets and explained just enough for the story, but not so much that anyone found those secrets out. They’d been up for another excellence in journalism award for the piece.
“So about Darkness. I won’t discuss what you’ve said with anyone, save for maybe River, but that’s because we’ve both been to the club. What you do there is your business. I’m just a friend listening.” Tory smiled. “Have at it.”
“River won’t care?”
“Nah, but if you don’t want me to say anything, I won’t. Your call.”
He believed Tory, he did, but shit. He refused to have anyone else know about his issues. “Don’t say anything to him—not yet.” Roddy smoothed his hands on his desk top. “I’m a sub. Among other things, I like to hand over control. It gets so crazy here. It’s a release to go there.” He’d blurted so much more than he’d wanted to say, but the words were out. Honestly, talking to Tory did make him feel better. Someone else knew his secrets and wasn’t judging him.
“A healthy release—if you’re being safe.” Tory nodded. “You are, right?”
“We are. Master Vegas and I are very careful.”
“Vegas.” Tory scratched his chin. “Don’t know him, but River might. He’s played there a lot longer than I have. Far as I’m concerned, if we never go back I’ll be happy.”
Not the rousing vote of approval he’d expected from Tory.
“But, if you’re happy and being safe, then you’re good. I’m glad you’re having a good experience.”
“So you and River have played there?” The way Tory winced when Roddy said the words made Roddy pause. He’d touched a nerve, hadn’t he?
“It’s not my favorite place, but that has to do with River. You remember the party, don’t you?” Tory folded his arms. “I’m sorry, but I’m still touchy about it.”
“I remember.”
Anyone who’d been at the restaurant the night of Tory’s big award the year before couldn’t help but know about the incident with River at Darkness. Cardin and Macklin, two of his former on-air staff, had not only outted Tory’s partner, but discussed in length the play and subsequent mistreatment of River while at Darkness. The scene had gone from a controlled play situation to disturbing in moments. Roddy shuddered. He couldn’t imagine being in River’s place, even if he didn’t know all the details. He’d fired Cardin and Macklin that night. He still refused to have either man back on the show. Good thing he trusted Master Vegas not to treat him the way River had been treated.
“Well, River and I went back to heal the wounds. I’m not saying what we did, but it helped a little. He’s not over it, though, and I don’t blame him. He went through hell,” Tory said.
“So you don’t recommend the place, eh?” Roddy tried to sound lighthearted, if only to ease the growing tension in the room. When he glanced over at Tory, he knew he’d failed.
Tory frowned. “Look, it’s what you make of it. If you’re with someone who respects and trusts you, then fine. If the guy or girl and you both know what’s going on and where the definite limits are… Fantastic. You’re an adult in an adult situation. You’re in control, right?” He shrugged. “It’s not my favorite place, like I said, but if it works for you and you’re respected, then cool.” Tory smiled, but didn’t unfold his arms. “Feel better?”
“A little.” Truth be told, he did feel relieved. He’d suspected Tory wasn’t happy about the club based on the situation with River, but he trusted Roddy to make a smart decision.
“Vegas is your Dom, right? Is he cute?” Tory waggled his eyebrows. “A hot leather daddy or just authoritative?”
“He’s authoritative. Not the daddy sort.” Good God, he couldn’t handle a Daddy-Dom. He wanted someone close to his age. Someone he could see himself with outside the club. Someone like…Vegas.
“Does he make you melt?”
Roddy nodded. He hadn’t thought about the situation with Vegas quite that way, but yeah. Melting was a good word for the mushy gushy way he felt around the Dom. He’d gotten himself in deep by falling for his Dom, but oh well. Subs fell for their Dom all the time. He just happened to be the foolish one to think maybe someday Vegas might return his feelings.
