Myth and Storm, page 26
The wind whipped against him as he tore around corner after corner. The clouds of the coming storm swallowed the stars that should have shone over the Arion Sea.
Adrial gripped the reins, trusting the horse to have the sense not to run off the side of the twisting road, but needing something to hold onto as dread filled his chest as though Dudia himself had decreed the world would soon end.
“Faster,” Adrial whispered to the horse as he urged it onward. “Please, faster.”
The gates of the Map Master’s Palace blocked the road ahead. In the darkness, the dozen guards seemed like specters come to haunt him for some unforgiveable sin.
“I’m Adrial Ayres, former ward of Lord Karron,” he bellowed over the wind before he reached the men. “Open the gates.”
Two men pulled the gates open as the first bolt of lightning split the sky.
As the rest of the men rushed to clear Adrial’s path, one of the guards stayed close to the center of the road. “Head Scribe, are you all right?”
“Did a woman come this way?” Adrial asked. “The inker, Ena Bairn, have you seen her?”
“No, sir,” the guard said. “No one’s come through the gates in hours.”
“But did you see anyone on the road?”
“A woman walked up the cliff road, but she didn’t come this way.”
“Then she went over the wall.” Adrial kicked his horse forward.
“What, sir?”
“She went over the wall!” The wind swallowed Adrial’s shout.
Please let her be here. Please let me find her.
He wasn’t even sure who he was begging. Dudia, Saint Alwyn, the common gods, the stars above. He would have bargained with anyone if it only meant finding her.
The rain began as another streak of lightning split the sky, throwing the trees ahead into terrifying relief.
Monsters. The woods were monsters, trying to hide the woman he loved from him.
He swiped the rain from his face as he rode down the tree-shrouded path.
Or maybe the storm and the trees were vengeance sent by Dudia to torment him, his rightful punishment for thinking himself worthy of more than he could ever deserve.
“Ena!” He saw no sign of her through the pounding rain. “Ena!”
He pushed the horse faster, cutting through the trees.
“Ena!”
A shape in the distance. A form that didn’t belong along the edge of the rocky cliff.
“Ena!”
She wore no cloak. She let the rain soak through her as she looked out toward the Arion Sea.
“Ena.” Adrial stopped his horse. His legs buckled as his slid down from his saddle and onto the muddy ground. “Ena, I’m sorry.”
She didn’t look at him as he stumbled toward her.
“Ena, please―”
“Go home, scribe.”
“Please, Ena. I’m sorry. Just give me one moment to tell you how sorry I am and beg your forgiveness.”
Ena coughed a laugh, but the sound changed as she choked on her tears.
Adrial reached for her, wanting to wipe her tears away before they could mix with the cold rain.
“Don’t touch me.” Ena pulled away from him. “Just go.”
Pain pierced Adrial’s chest as he stepped away from her. “I’m so sorry, Ena. I didn’t mean to push the boundaries of our friendship. I swear to you, I’ll never come to your shop again. I’ll send Taddy with the orders. You’ll never have to see me. But please come back to the library, Ena. This storm is only going to get worse, you’re not safe here.”
“I’m not safe anywhere.” The wind whipped her hair behind her as though it were trying to tear her away. “I have been doomed from the very start. The world has taken too much from me, and I cannot keep fighting. I am too broken to keep fighting.”
“You’re not broken. You are the strongest person I’ve ever known.”
Ena’s chest shuddered as she fought against her sobs. Thunder shook the cliffs as though the gods themselves railed against her sadness.
“Ena, whatever’s wrong, I beg forgiveness for the part I played. Whatever demons you have to fight, I will fight beside you. Just stay with me. Come home. Let me help you.”
“There is no helping me, scribe.”
“Ena, please.”
“No, scribe.”
“Ena―”
“You can’t fight against Cade. You can’t protect me from him.”
“Cade is dead.”
“His child isn’t. I’m carrying that monster’s child.”
Even the storm seemed to quiet as Adrial tried to understand Ena’s words.
“That chivving bastard will have his revenge. A simple tonic could have saved me. But I let him hurt you and break me. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t leave the library and abandon you. Gods, I know better. But I let it all fall apart. Now it’s too late for me.” She tipped her face up into the pouring rain, letting the sky drown her in its tears. “There is no help. There is no safety. The only path left for me is Ian Ayres. I will not go into that hell. I will not give a child to that demon island. I have fought too many battles to let my life end there.”
“It won’t. You won’t be sent to Ian Ayres. I won’t let them take you. Ena, look at me.” Adrial reached toward her. “Just look at me. I swear to you on everything I am, I will not let them send you to that terrible place.”
“Even you don’t have that power, scribe.” She stepped away from him, her toes brushing the edge of the cliff. “I should have died a long time ago. I’ve stayed alive to fight the Guilds. But I can’t fight against this. I’m not strong enough. I have never been strong enough.”
“I can protect you.” Adrial inched forward.
“You can’t. No one can. I’m out of places to run. I finally understand there is no escaping the wrath of the Guilds.”
A bolt of lightning streaked toward the city. The ruins of the Guilds’ cathedral seemed to glow in the darkness.
“Go, scribe.” She met his gaze. Fatigue, sadness, and pain beyond his understanding filled her eyes. “You don’t belong out here.”
“I will not abandon you.”
“You’re not abandoning me. You’re letting me choose the kinder fate.” She looked down at the city far below. “There are some hells even I don’t deserve.”
“Marry me.” He grabbed her hand.
She tried to pull free. The rain had slicked her skin.
He held on tighter, refusing to let her slip away.
A clap of thunder shook the ground.
“Marry me, Ena.” He stepped to the edge of the cliff beside her.
“What?”
He wrapped his arm around her, blocking her from the temptation of the open air. “I am not a warrior. I cannot defend you with a sword, but I can give you the protection of my name.”
“No.”
“I will keep you safe.” He touched her rain-slicked cheek. “If we’re married, they can’t send you away. You and the child will be safe from Ian Ayres.”
“It’s not your child!”
“I don’t care. I will claim him as my own. He will have the protection of my station within the Guilds.”
“Cade tried to kill you. He has already stolen my life. I will not let you sacrifice yours.”
“What sacrifice? To have a wife? To give a child my name?” Adrial held her tighter, wrapping his arms around her as though he had the strength to protect her from fate’s cruel claws. “That would bring more joy to my life than I’ve ever dreamt possible.”
“Cade was a murderer. He was evil and cruel.” Ena looked toward the warehouses where Cade had nearly murdered them both. Where she’d let Cade violate her to save Adrial’s life.
The cold of the rain sliced through Adrial’s soul. “Cade is dead. Marry me, and this child will be ours. No one will ever need to know about Cade. The Guilds won’t be able to take you from me.”
Ena’s sobs shook her chest.
Adrial tightened his hold on her, guiding her away from the ledge. “You don’t have to fight them on your own. Not Cade, not the Guilds, not any of the shadows that haunt you. Come home, Ena. Let me fight beside you. I promise, I will stand beside you.”
She wept in his arms, the anger of the storm stealing the sound of her tears.
Adrial held her as she cried, giving promises of safety and hope. But the wind stole the sound of his words as well. So he held her close, making sure she could not disappear.
33
Adrial
The pounding of the rain had slowed to a steady patter before the sun rose, but Adrial still couldn’t convince himself to sleep. He needed to stay awake. He needed to make sure she was safe, that it really was Ena who lay nestled in his arms and he hadn’t slipped into some kind of wonderful dream to drown out the nightmare of losing her.
She slept with her head on his shoulder and her arm draped across his bare chest. His robes had been soaked through by the storm, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave her in the little bedroom behind her workshop. And she hadn’t asked him to.
When they’d finally left the cliffs, he’d ridden in through the gates while she snuck back over the library wall. For the few minutes he’d had to wait for her in her shop, he hadn’t been able to breathe. All the air had vanished from the world. And, if she’d changed her mind and disappeared into the storm, he didn’t want the air to come back. Better to suffocate than to lose her.
But she’d slipped silently into her shop, not looking at him as she bolted the door. She’d put on a dry shift and curled up on her bed, leaving a space for him beside her as though she’d needed the comfort of his presence as much as he’d needed the solace of being able to see her and be sure she really hadn’t disappeared.
The sun peeked through the windows, its beams sparkling off the colors strewn through her hair.
He tried not to think beyond the moment. He couldn’t allow himself to start building a future in his mind. Those sorts of fantasies could break a man if they crumbled once the urgency of panic had passed.
But holding her, watching her sleep, this moment he could keep forever. Remember the look of her face without any anger or worry. Remember the weight of her hand as it lay over his heart. Remember the touch of her skin against his. Remember the warmth of her by his side.
A pang, like a little heartbreak, punctured his chest as she began to stir.
Adrial resisted the urge to tighten his arms around her as he waited for her to pull away.
She let out a sleepy sigh, her hand sliding from his chest to his scarred shoulder as she nestled closer to him before opening her eyes.
“You’re still here.” She tipped her chin up to look at him.
“I didn’t want to leave you.” He reached up, the crack in his heart deepening as he brushed a strand of purple hair away from her face.
She closed her eyes but didn’t shy away from his touch. “It’s daylight now. There’s no way you’ll make it out of here without someone seeing you.”
“Does it matter?”
“If a horde of guards and soldiers find out you’ve spent the night up here? I should think so.”
“But if we are―” Adrial pushed away the pain that threatened to break him in two. “If we are to be married, my being caught sneaking away would only benefit the narrative.”
“What narrative?” Ena pushed herself up on her elbow. Her hair draped over her shoulder, touching Adrial’s arm as she looked down at him.
“The most beautiful woman in Ilara marrying the Guilded Cripple.”
The haze of sleep left her eyes as she turned her gaze toward the door.
Adrial tensed, preparing for her to flee.
“The future Lord Scribe marrying a rotta who’s pregnant with a dead demon’s child. That’s the story they’ll be telling.” She climbed over him and out of the narrow bed. “We can’t do this. I was a desperate fool to even consider it.”
Adrial closed his eyes, willing his heart to stay whole long enough for him to give her the help she needed.
“The common folk in Ilbrea need a decent man in the Guilds, and you’re the only one I’ve seen.” She grabbed a deep blue skirt from a hook on the wall. “I can’t let you put yourself in danger to protect me.”
“What danger?” Adrial sat up, ignoring the protests of his hip as he got to his feet.
“There are people in the Guilds who want to hurt you, even if you’re too stuck in your work to notice.” Ena yanked her skirt over her head.
“I don’t see how marrying you would affect that.” Adrial grabbed her bodice from the floor.
“Marrying a woman who’s already well pregnant?” Ena snatched the bodice from his hand. “I’ve seen men killed for that.”
“What?”
“Executed by soldiers for waiting too long to marry his love after slipping a child into her.” Ena tugged her bodice on.
“Soldiers did that?”
“I’ve seen soldiers do much worse.” Ena tightened the laces on her bodice, stopping with her hands near her stomach. “I’ve worked too hard to keep you alive. Your life is more important than mine. I can’t let you throw it away.”
“Marrying you wouldn’t be throwing anything away.” Adrial stepped out of her path as she strode across the room to her boots. “I would be gaining more than I ever dreamt I could have.”
“And risking your life.”
“No, I wouldn’t.” He dodged around her, blocking her path to the door. “The soldiers who murdered that man were beasts, and if you had their names, I would give the information to Rictor Nance and have them brought before his wrath.”
“And what would the paun Nance do to his men for upholding the Guilds’ chivving laws? Or is there no law punishing a man for marrying a woman who’s already carrying his child?”
“There is a law, but it’s not meant to be used.”
“What does that even mean?”
“The law fell out of favor years before I became an apprentice to the Scribes Guild. The Guilds’ purpose in creating Ian Ayres was to stop fatherless children from being born in Ilbrea. To make sure women and children weren’t starving in the streets.”
“So they send them to an island to be tortured instead?” Ena pulled on her boots. “Such chivving compassion from the paun.”
“Ian Ayres is one of the gravest errors the Guilds have made in a long time. But they did at least realize that punishing the men who were willing to claim the children they’d helped in creating only sent more women to Ian Ayres, as most men were too cowardly to pay the penalty for what they’d done.”
“Too cowardly to be murdered by soldiers, you mean.”
“That law is no longer enforced in Ilara, especially not within the ranks of the Guilds.” Adrial dared to step closer to her.
She stood and pulled her knife from the table beside the bed, tucking it into the ankle of her boot. “I can’t risk them hurting you.”
“There is no risk.” Adrial took her hands, stopping her frenetic motion. “If the Guilds decided to enforce that law, a good third of the married soldiers would have to be punished. A fair batch of the rest of the Guilded men as well. At least a dozen scribes I know could be added to the list.”
Ena looked toward the door.
“Please.” He touched her chin, guiding her gaze back to his. “That the law was misused against any common folk is a travesty and a stain on the soul of Ilbrea. But they would never punish a member of the Guilds. It’s terrible that the justice given to the Guilded is different than what the common folk endure, but it’s true. I swear to you, Ena. There would be no risk to me.”
She shifted her weight, as though longing to run. “You’d still be giving up too much. To spend your life bound to me. To raise another man’s child.” Tears glistened in the corners of her eyes. “It’s too much to ask.”
“I want this, Ena.” He laid his hand on her cheek. She leaned into his touch. “To have you near me, to give a child my name. I would be the happiest man in all Ilbrea.”
“It would be a debt that could never be repaid.”
“There would be no debt. I would be the most grateful man alive.”
“You’re a fool.” Ena laid her hand over his heart. “No man should toss away his freedom to right the damage done by a monster.”
“I’m throwing nothing away.” He kissed her forehead. “There’s only one thing I ask.”
She met his gaze. Her lips so close to his. A life beyond his wildest dreams only a breath away.
“Never tell anyone the baby isn’t mine,” he said. “I will raise the child. It will be born into our marriage. It will be our baby. I will be our child’s father. Promise me.”
“Swear to me this is what you want.” A tear escaped from her eye.
“More than I’ve ever wanted anything.”
She brushed her lips against his cheek. “Then this is our child. And not even the gods will know different.”
She laid her head on his shoulder.
He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close.
She melted against him, nestling her forehead on the side of his neck, like the safety he offered was enough to protect her.
A spark lit in Adrial’s gut, and a boiling joy filled his whole body.
Ena’s shoulders shook.
Adrial pulled away from her, tipping her chin up to meet his gaze.
Tears spilled down her cheeks.
“Ena?”
Her face turned pink as she stepped out of his embrace, doubling over as she shook even harder.
“What’s wrong? Are you ill?”
Ena coughed out a laugh as she stood up, wiping away her tears. “I can’t decide who’s going to be more furious. The Lord Scribe or Lady Karron.”
Adrial’s eyes widened as cold dread began at the tips of his toes.
“You say you’re not going to be in any danger.” Ena grabbed her comb, pausing for a moment to catch her breath before dragging it through her hair. “One of them may chivving well kill you.”
“It’ll be fine.” Adrial waited for a knot of panic to form in his throat, but his blazing joy had already banished the chill of dread from his feet. “I don’t care if they’re angry. I’m going to marry you. I’ll tell Lord Gareth this morning. Right now.” He stepped toward the door.
