When You Became Mine, page 9
“I…”
We promised to be honest.
“I guess…”
But he cares about them as much as I do.
I paused, taking a deep breath, before finally letting myself say what was on my mind. “I’m worried you’re trying to replace me, Ariel.”
He wasn’t expecting that. I wasn’t expecting that, either. I’d been saying for days now that his methods frustrated me, but…was that what I really thought? It must’ve been. I was the one who said it, after all, and I didn’t feel like I was lying just to make Ariel feel better. It felt like the truth.
It was the truth.
Ariel’s face was of pure sympathy. “Chaz, I would never replace you. Nadia and Irene, they absolutely adore you. I don’t even think anything—anyone—could change that.” He tilted his head, obviously curious. “What brought this on? Was it something I did with the girls? Was it…” he paused, the gears visibly clicking into place. “This…wouldn’t have to do with the park, would it?”
God, he was way too good at this. Him and Amanda must’ve been cut from the same cloth. “You…you just let her cry,” I said as I bit my lip. “You let Nadia break down completely like that. It—it didn’t have to happen. I know I don’t have a-a degree like you do, but I’ve gotten this far, right? I’m…doing this right…right?” A terrible fear grabbed at my chest, making it suddenly hard to breath. What was I saying? Where was all this coming from? I was positive I wasn’t drunk, so, what was possessing me to be this honest?
Whatever it was, Ariel didn’t seem to care. He was way more interested in reassuring me, going as far as to scoot closer toward me and gently pull me into an embrace. This was a new level of physical contact, one I wasn’t used to experiencing from him, but not against in the slightest. I winced slightly as he brushed up against my wrapped arm, but the briefest ting of pain was quickly replaced by warmth.
“When I told you how much good you did for those girls,” Ariel whispered softly. “I meant every word. No one could ever replace you, Chaz, but that doesn’t mean you have to do this alone. Not anymore.”
I was glad his arms were around me, because I suddenly felt incredibly dizzy. Crap, was this really happening? Was I still asleep? Ariel’s touch felt so real, holding me securely in place while everything flipped around me. The warmth spread across my body, culminating in my face as a tingling spread across my lips. I didn’t know where it came from or how to get it to stop. All I could think of was sharing the sensation with Ariel somehow and the only way I could think of was sharing a kiss.
So that’s exactly what I did.
I pulled away from him just enough so I could plant the kiss on his lips.
Ariel looked surprised at first—stunned might’ve been a better word for it—as he stared at me for a seemingly endless amount of time. For that moment, I was in a world of panic. That was a mistake. I should pull back, apologize, blame the concussion for doing something so crazy. But, then, Ariel hesitantly leaned forward, our lips barely brushing against each other before he returned the gesture in full.
“A- Ari,” I could barely get a sentence together as we managed to detach once more. God, it felt like every nerve was on fire after that kiss. This had to be real; no dream could feel like this.
Ariel lingered close to me, arms loosely resting around my hip, but careful not to brush against my cast. “Is…is this—I mean, was th-that…?” He could barely speak cohesively as well. Good to know we were on the same page.
The same, incredibly sensational boat.
“I was so mad at you.” My voice was barely above a whisper. “Everything you did this week—I thought you were trying to replace me.” Ariel tried to protest, only for me to kiss him once more. I didn’t expect his beard to feel so smooth against my skin, not scratchy or irritating at all. “I…it has felt like forever since I had someone to help with the girls. Really help me.” I chuckled nervously, feeling incredibly giddy all of a sudden. “D-Does that make sense? Am I making sense?”
“I…” Ariel was practically breathless, that beautiful, scarlet tinge creeping across his cheeks. “I think so.” He came forward to kiss me once more, hands running underneath my shirt and across my vertebrae. A shudder ran across my skin as I leaned in deeply. “B-But we need to be careful,” Ariel’s lips pulled almost teasingly away as he spoke. “Your arm—th-the stitches—I don’t want to hurt you, Chaz.”
It was at that moment I realized an absolute truth, and I knew he had to hear it. “Ari, you’ve never hurt me a day in my life. I…I really don’t think you’ll start now.”
With absolute ease, Ariel lifted me onto my feet, keeping a supporting arm around my waist as his smile lit up my life. “Then…I suppose you bought that air mattress for nothing, huh, ‘bear friend’?”
God, I can’t believe it took me until now to fully love this man.
Chapter Ten
Amanda wouldn’t shut up for weeks after Ariel and I made it official. I was getting texts and messages non-stop from my co-workers, especially some rather passive-aggressive, congratulatory ones from Liliana. And the twins were somehow worse, literally telling every stranger we passed whenever we went out on group outings.
“That’s my Uncle Chaz!” Irene announced to a couple on the park bench. “He’s got a boyfriend now.”
“See those guys?” She’d announce to the ice-cream vendor as I ordered us all cones. “They’re my Uncle Chaz and his boyfriend.
Even Nadia got in on the action, running up to a flurry of pigeons and yelling, ‘Bear friend’ as loudly as she could.
“Gracious they’re all so vocal,” Ariel sighed as he sheepishly hid his beet-red face.
“They’re just…expressing joy in the only way they know how.” I laughed, putting my good arm around his shoulder. God, but he was so cute when he got embarrassed.
Not that the shoe never flipped to the other foot.
Ariel insisted that, now that we were in a relationship, it was an absolute requirement for me to meet his Ema and Abba. Thankfully, he was willing to settle for a video call instead of making me and the girls sit in a car for twenty-plus hours for a visit. It seemed sort of unfair, given he’d never meet my own parents, so this anxiety-driven ritual would be mine and mine alone to bear.
Sure, I’d met other people’s parents before, but for some reason, this particular time got me all twisted up into an anxious pretzel. What if his parents didn’t like the girls? What if Nadia had a meltdown, or Irene said something she really shouldn’t? Of course, I wasn’t going to keep the two away from meeting Ariel’s, ‘real-life, actual dads’, as Irene put it, but that didn’t mean I was walking in full of confidence.
Turns out I had absolutely nothing to worry about.
Even without any blood ties, it was obvious these two were Ariel’s fathers. Abba was the more reserved of the pair, kind and courteous to the girls and I whenever he spoke. As old as I pinned him for, the guy still looked in his prime, fit and trimmed around the face and whatever part of his upper torso I could see.
And then there was Ema.
Oh, God, there was so much of Ema.
If Abba was where Ariel got most of his peaceful nature, Ema was where he got his passion for others. He was this big, jolly guy, someone I could easily see volunteering to play Santa every December. Ema would talk a mile a minute, always wearing a big, goofy grin while he regaled the juiciest of stories about my new boyfriend. Irene and Nadia were absolutely enamored, asking the pair all sorts of questions about their favorite, new person.
“How small was Ariel when he was little?” Irene asked.
“How small?” Ema laughed this belly-deep laugh as his spouse smiled knowingly behind him. “I don’t think there was a day in Aardvark’s life where he was ever small!”
I could feel the embarrassment rolling off Ariel face at the nickname.
“He was the oldest sibling in our family,” Abba added. “So, we only ever saw him as tall.”
“I’m sure he was born taller than the hospital itself!” Ema added.
The twins giggled madly at this, thinking it the absolute pinnacle of comedy. “That’s silly,” Irene said. “You’re not big when you’re born!”
“Baby.” Nadia added, pulling out the baby doll she’d been holding during the entire exchange.
“Aw, you got me there, ladies,” Ema chuckled. “You’re too smart for this old coot.”
“I’m sure you keep our Ariel on his toes during school,” Abba added.
“Yeah! I’m really good at school.” Irene then glanced up to me, eyes wide and sparkling. “Can we go back soon, Uncle Chaz?”
This was something that was going to happen eventually. And, obviously, I loved my nieces to death, but even I’d admit to missing having the mornings and partial afternoons to myself. “Once I master the art of crutches, then you two and Ariel can head back to Learning Ladders.”
“We want to make sure Chaz can get around the house safely,” Ariel explained. “We wouldn’t want to come home to him hurt on the ground, right?”
“Now, don’t make so light of your new friend, Aardvark,” Ema said. “That boy took on a semi-truck and won, didn’t he?”
“Not sure I’d call what he went through a ‘win’, dear,” Abba commented.
“Well, let’s meet in the middle with, ‘walked away’, huh?” Ema laughed once more, practically shaking their camera with the sound alone. “Still, it’s good to see you on the fast track, son! Our little Aardvark would call us every other day about you while you were in the hospital.”
“Did he really?” I eyed Ariel, who quickly found interest in the ceiling.
“Oh, yes,” Abba said. “He was in quite the tizzy. And to watch your truly lovely nieces for you?”
“No man does that for another unless love’s involved.” Ema added giddily.
“Okay, well, Amanda will be here any minute to drive Chaz to physical therapy.” Ariel quickly moved my laptop’s mouse to the ‘end call’ button, giving his fathers a quick wave. “Say bye-bye for now, everyone!”
“Bye-bye for now, Ari’s dads!” Irene said.
“Bye-bye.” Nadia added.
I’d never seen a man close out of a call and shut a laptop so quickly. “Wait, but Amanda’s not coming for another hour,” I said, eyebrow raised in suspicion. “Would ‘Aardvark’ happen to be a little embarrassed over his entirely adorable fathers?”
God, but he was so cute when he got flustered. “Th-they are a bit of a handful sometimes,” Ariel admitted. “And I’m begging you to keep that nickname between us.”
I just looked toward the girls, already up on their feet and off to play in their room. “You might wanna tell them that,” I chuckled. “I can’t hold them responsible for what they say once they’re back at school.”
Ariel let out a groan, flopping out across the living room floor as he spread out his arms and legs.
Ariel just gave me a tired grin in return.
“All right, what’s wrong?” I asked. “Your parents really aren’t that bad, I promise.”
“N-no, it’s not them,” Ariel said. His eyes trailed back to the hallway, where the audible giggles of the girls could be heard in their room. “You think they’re ready to go back? To daycare, I mean. What if something happens to you here at home?”
What a gentle, constantly-caring soul. “Hey, I’ll be at Learning Ladders for some of the day. I’m the new guest reader, remember?” It had honestly been a great idea. Not only was it something I’d always wanted to do, but it was an opportunity for the kids to look at a real-live cast. I admitted to a small sense of pride for showing it off. “Plus, Amanda’s got Jane checking up on me at home, and I’ll be at work soon enough.”
Probably. It was the only thing I was still shaky on; even working at home had been one hell of a challenge. Outside of missing an arm, it was just…really hard to concentrate. Dr. Clarissa reassured me it was part of the whole concussion package, but…I really didn’t know how long that would last.
Maybe getting with a therapist wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all.
Ariel sighed once more, pulling me out of my inner thoughts. He rolled to his side, hand gently brushing against my face. “Is it selfish of me to want this to never end?” he asked.
I awkwardly rolled onto my good side, unable to stop a wistful smile from spreading across my face. “I know what you mean. Honestly, and as crazy as it sounds, getting hit by that truck was the best thing that ever happened to me.”
“Minus actually getting hit?” Ariel asked.
I laughed. “Okay, if everything but actually getting hit could’ve happened, I’d call it the best thing ever.”
Ariel’s smile faded somewhat. “We’re not…moving too fast, are we? I mean, I know we’ve known each other for almost three years, but to offer me a place here after almost a month?”
“Hey, we’ve gotten the hardest part out of the way,” I pointed out. “I know all about your terrible living habits and still want you here.”
That got a chuckle out of Ariel. “I suppose you’re right. But you’ll still be honest with me about the girls, yes? I truly don’t want to cross anymore lines.”
I put my hand into his, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “At this point, they’re our girls, Ariel. If I want you in my life, you’re in all parts of my life.” And, much to my delight, I believed that with only the most minor of doubts in my mind.
Yeah…a therapist might be good to talk to.
***
“Chaaazzy! I’m so proud of you!” Amanda squealed. “I can’t believe how much control you’ve let go of regarding the twins!”
I grimaced, trying to focus on making it to the end of the railed pathway. My legs felt like absolute jelly, but this was the last part of my routine. And, for once in my life, I didn’t want to collapse in bed afterwards. I was tired, sure, but this was a different sort of fatigue. I was finally starting to feel like my old self again.
“Sooo?” She skipped along the outside of the rail, grinning like an idiot. “How is life in paradise?”
I grunted, forcing one step after the other. I wonder if this was easier to do with two arms supporting one’s self. “Can’t you—w-wait—until I’m—done?” I managed to gasp out.
“Hey, this is part of your training,” Amanda insisted. “You gotta learn how to multitask again. Unless, of course, a certain someone is already helping you do that in bed?”
Oh, God, I wish she’d stop. “You know, I don’t bug you incessantly about how you and Jane are doing.”
Amanda just stuck out her tongue and grinned. “Don’t be jealous about how comfortable I am in my own skin.”
There was a hint of truth to that. It’d been nearly three years since my last date with someone; I could fully admit I was out of practice. Luckily for me, Ariel wasn’t one for grand gestures or displays of romance; cooking meals together in the kitchen or going to the park with the girls was all we needed.
Of course, it didn’t help that we had the bedroom to ourselves.
“Seriously, though, I’m crazy proud of you for finally finding someone,” Amanda went on, a note of sincerity in her voice. “I know it’s been rough, and, if I could choose anyone to be with you, Ari’s at the top of my list.”
“You made a list?” I asked, taking a brief break to catch my breath.
Amanda waved me away, as if it wasn’t a somewhat concerning topic to me. “Come on, your PT’s looking this way. One more lap, buddy!”
She was lucky I was in such a good mood as of late.
One of the benefits to my physical therapy sessions was the lack of time I had to think. It was just me and whatever torture machine I was put on today, which honestly took all my concentration just to complete. At least, that’s how it’d been in the past. Now that I was getting some resilience back, I couldn’t stop thinking about everything that’d happened in less than two months. “Hey, Amanda?”
“Mm?”
I paused about halfway down the bar, turning my upper body her way so she knew I wanted her attention fully. “Do you think…I should see a therapist?”
Now, Amanda wasn’t someone I could take by surprise very often. If anything, she prided herself on her ability to put me off. But today, for the first time ever, I saw Amanda’s expression shift to surprise. She really was taken aback; it took her a moment to formulate a response, and it wasn’t even her usual brand of wit. “What brought the thought up?”
I leaned my back against one of the rails, taking the moment to catch my breath. “I just…I don’t know. Dr. Clarissa mentioned I should because of the concussion. PTSD and all that.”
Amanda nodded slowly. “Yeah, sure. I mean, you seem pretty all right in the car when we drive over here, if that helps?”
I squirmed guiltily. “Um…so, I might take the tiniest dose of drugs to knock myself out during the hour-long trip.”
“Chaz--!” Amanda covered her mouth, glancing around the room as a few curious eyes turned her way. She waved them off with a laugh, quickly turning back to me with a scowl. “Are you serious? When did that start?”
“I mean, it wasn’t a problem before!” I hissed under my breath. “I usually couldn’t stay conscious long enough, but now…”
We stared at each other quietly, Amanda finally letting out a heavy sigh. “I mean, if the doc thinks you should, I’m not gonna argue against it.”
Not exactly the reassurance I needed. I took a deep breath, taking a few more steps forward and trying to push the thought out of my head. That this relationship between Ariel and I was obviously moving too fast. That it was impossible to be this happy in such a short amount of time.
That I was giving my nieces up to a complete stranger by letting him in.
“And, I mean, if you wanted to talk to the therapist about anything else,” Amanda suddenly added. “I’m pretty sure that’s fine, too. Not like you have to talk about the accident, you know? Therapists are paid to hear you bitch, so…I guess you could talk about anything you wanted.”
