“Don’t get too overconfident on me now, Doc.”

  The doctor laughed. “I’ll try not to do that. I’m very aware of how important my job is.”

  “You have to be one of the best surgeons I’ve ever met.”

  “I haven’t done surgery on you yet. Save your judgment.” The man smiled. “All right. Let’s get back to work on the initial talk.”

  “Ask me anything.”

  “Have you been sick recently?”

  “I had a cold about two or three months ago, but nothing really.”

  “No sniffles or anything?”

  “No, not really.”

  “Allergies?”

  “Uh, nothing really that I know of.”

  “No weird reactions to medications?” The doctor was on a roll now, going through his list of questions that he wanted to make sure he got answered before the surgery.

  “Not really, no. I don’t think I’ve ever had anything like that.”

  “Don’t think?”

  “Not that I remember. You can ask my Mom if you want to.”

  The surgeon laughed loudly. “I can definitely do that. Is she the one you want to make decisions if you can’t?”

  “Yeah, of course. My mom is the one to do that.”

  “All right. We’ve got some more paperwork for you to sign then we’ll get you started on this.”

  “Ok, thanks.”

  “And a nurse is gonna come in and help make sure the area is cleaned up. This is going to mean shaving your leg.”

  Griffin wrinkled his nose. “That’s kind of weird.”

  “Most people go home and shave the other one so that it’s even.”

  Griffin laughed loudly. “Yeah, I’ll make sure to keep that in mind.”

  “All right. Do you have any questions for me?”

  “Uh, not really?” Griffin shook his head. “I don’t really have anything. I’ve gotten a lot of information about it. And all the warnings, right?”

  “Yeah, all of them.”

  “All right. I guess that’s it, then.”

  The surgeon nodded. “All right. Someone will be here to get you prepped soon. I’ve got to go take care of some stuff before we get started. I’ll see you soon, but you won’t see me.”

  Griffin laughed. “Because I’ll be out, right.”

  “That’s pretty much it, yeah.”

  Griffin watched the surgeon walk out of the room. A part of him considered trying to hit on the man, but he knew that it wouldn’t do any good. The man was wearing a ring, and he wasn’t going to be the guy that hit on an obviously married man.

  Instead, he sat on the bed in the room and waited, dozing slightly as the television droned on in the background. He wasn’t really wanting to wait, but that’s what the game was about. He had to wait until they were ready for him.

  “Hurry up and wait.” He mumbled to himself as he laid back in the bed.

  “What was that?” His mother’s voice came from the door.

  “Come on in. Just complaining about waiting.”

  “That’s because you’re a doer.”

  “Yeah, yeah, I know.” Griffin nodded to his mother. “Everything is looking good for the surgery, so it’s going to happen.”

  “That’s good, then.”

  “Yeah, pretty sure it is,” Griffin smirked at her.

  “Don’t be a smart butt.”

  “You do realize that I’m an adult now, you can call me a smartass.”

  “You’re still my son.” His mother shook her head with a laugh. She was a happy woman when she wasn’t punishing herself for things that weren’t her fault or allowing herself to be tortured by someone else. He loved his mother when she was able to smile. “And you know I’ve trained myself well not to curse around you.”

  “And I trained myself well to tease you when you don’t curse at me and I deserve it.”

  “Do you think that you deserved it?”

  “I definitely did.” He laughed. “I was being a smartass.”

  “Hasn’t anyone ever taught you not to curse at your mother?”

  He grinned seeing her feeling a little better. “Yeah, my mom did.”

  “Then she did a terrible job.” His mother’s smile widened broadly as she tsked at herself.

  “I’ll be sure to pass your judgment on to her. I’m almost positive she’ll disagree though.”

  “Oh, why is that?”

  “Because she did an amazing job.”

  “Awww, that’s the son I raised. Incredibly sweet.” The woman was beaming with pride as her son praised her.

  He knew that she deserved it. And as the action started to move, getting him ready to go into surgery he knew that she would be right at the hospital waiting on him to get out, no matter what it took. And he liked that idea, having someone to wait for him in case he needed anything. The sad part was that it was still his mother.

  He was well over thirty at this point in his life, and he had yet to have any real meaningful long-term relationship. Just a series of short-term boyfriends that never lasted more than a year or so. No one that ever stuck around.

  By this time, he had decided that the problem had to be with him, rather than with the men who hadn’t worked out.

  He thought back to his past as the male nurse shaved the part of his leg that they were going to do surgery on. He hadn’t really paid much attention to the young man who was helping him out and the prep nurse seemed quite content to let him get lost in his thoughts.

  It was pretty easy to identify that the problem was his and his alone. He was afraid of getting hurt. He had seen it happen too many times to his mother, one man after another letting her down and breaking her heart.

  And he had always been the one to try to make it better.

  Chapter Three

  Trenton looked around the cafeteria. It wasn’t as busy as it normally was at this time. He was grateful for that; normally people were a lot crazier than this at the lunch hour.

  Not that he could blame people in a hospital for feeling a little crazy about their lives. Nobody wanted to be at the hospital on any day, and the people that frequented this place were either employees or had family or friends that were frequent flyers in and out of the beds here.

  On top of that, the food was decent at best.

  He glanced behind the line to look at who was at the grill. He was in luck, it was Javier, the best chef in the place. This was a man who had gotten through culinary school but struggled to find a job in the restaurant industry. He made his way through the line, opting out of the salad bar because he knew that Javier at the grill meant the food would be good.

  The line wasn’t that long and he wound up right behind a woman that could have been his mother. She looked tired like she had been up all night. Trenton felt a little sorry for her. “Hey.” He nodded her direction.

  She showed him a small smile. “Hello.”

  “Rough night?”

  “A bit.” Her hair was mostly gray and her eyes were tired, strained from the effort of day to day life.

  He nodded along with her words. “It’s always a little rough.”

  “You probably run into people like that every single day.”

  “I do, yeah, but that doesn’t mean some people don’t need support.”

  “You don’t need to give up your lunch break.”

  “Why don’t you sit down with me and you can talk about it.”

  “Aren’t you on your lunch break? You shouldn’t be working on your lunch break.”

  “I’m not working, I’m being friendly.” He smiled. “This is by no means official, but you look like you could use a friend.”

  “I probably could.”

  He nodded and gestured toward the grill. “You’re up.”

  She spun around quickly. “Sorry. Uh... what’s good here?”

  Javier grinned. “The grilled cheese is on point today.”

  “Really?”

  Trenton nodded. “You can’t beat Javier’s grilled cheese.”

  “All right.” The woman glanced over at the menu. “I’ll take a grilled ham and cheese, french fries and a side of brown gravy.”

  “Brown gravy?” Javier tilted his head.

  “I like to dip the fries and sandwich in the gravy. I grew up doing it.”

  Trenton laughed. “The ultimate comfort food.”

  She smiled weakly. “Yeah, I guess I could use it.”

  “I can’t blame you for that. I’ll have to give that a try on my break, it actually sounds like it’s really good.” Javier nodded. “Give me a couple of minutes and I’ll get that done for you.”

  She stepped to the side while Trenton ordered his burger. And then it was time to wait for food to arrive. Trenton stood next to the woman who clearly needed a friend. “You won’t regret that order.”

  “I’m just going to hope that I can get some food in me.”

  “That upset?”

  She shrugged in response. “I guess so. It’s a little silly.”

  “Is it?”

  “Yeah, It's a simple surgery.” She sighed.

  “It never feels simple when it’s someone that you love.” He acknowledged her feelings.

  She nodded. “Yeah, it’s my son. He’s about your age.”

  “Is he?”

  “Yeah, thirty-five, and he wrecked his knee.”

  “How bad?”

  “They have to do surgery on it.”

  Trenton glanced at the counter as a tray slid out from the other side of the counter. “Grilled cheese with ham, fries and a side of gravy,” Javier called out. “Order’s up.”

  The older woman’s attention was grabbed by her order being called out. Trenton knew that he wouldn’t be far behind as she glanced down. “It’s so pretty.”

  “Yeah, Javier always does such a great job at it.”

  “It looks great, thanks.” She directed the words to the man behind the counter.

  “You’re welcome.” Javier beamed from the compliment.

  She walked over to grab herself a cup of coffee while Trenton continued to wait for his burger. He considered for a second then walked over to get an energy drink out of the cooler while he waited. It would save him some time. As he walked back to wait, he heard Javier call out. “Trenton. Your order is up.”

  “Thanks a ton, man.”

  “No problem,” Javier smirked over the counter.

  Trenton walked back over to the checkout, ending up in line right behind the woman that he had been talking to earlier. She smiled at him as she paid for her food and drink. “That looks really good too.”

  “The burgers are always good here, but they’re super good when Javier makes them.”

  “I don’t think any hospital cafeteria could be considered super good.”

  “It’s not as bad as people make most cafeterias out to be. It does get a little exhausting, though.”

  “Huh?”

  “Oh, sorry. It’s just that I come here a lot.”

  “Don’t pack your lunch?”

  “Rarely. I usually just get too tired to do that kind of stuff. This is just a lot easier.”

  “Because there’s a restaurant in the same building that you work in, I guess.”

  “That makes it pretty convenient.” He paid for his food and they both started moving toward a booth on the other end of the seating area. No one was near that spot, so it afforded them some privacy. “But I can see how it can get old.”

  “Sometimes I get my food delivered, but I don’t do that a lot.”

  “This has to be a lot cheaper.”

  “It is. Delivery fees add up.”

  “I’m sure they do.” She sat down and poked at her french fries.

  “It won’t do you any good to just jab at your food with a finger, you know?”

  “Is that your professional opinion?”

  “I’m afraid it is.” Trenton laughed. “Just try to eat a little bit.”

  “I am. Just worried.”

  “Surgery is always scary. I can only imagine what it’s like to have your child go in.”

  “I’m trying to act like nothing’s wrong, but I’m terrified.”

  “Why are you trying to act like nothing’s wrong?”

  She sighed and picked up one of the fries, dipping it idly into the gravy. “I guess it’s just the old mom trick. Act like nothing’s wrong even if you’re terrified. That way the kid doesn’t panic like you want to. Even if he’s an adult now. It’s still kind of a thing. If I act like he’s going to be fine, he’s gonna think he’s gonna be fine.”

  “That’s an important thing, yeah. Keeping your cool.”

  “I’m here to support him. It isn’t his job to support me.”

  “Not right now at least.” Trenton nodded. “He may be just as scared as you.”

  “He wouldn’t ever show it, even if he was.”

  Trenton nodded. “That seems to be a pretty common thing, yeah.”

  “Everyone should be pretty straightforward. And our surgeons are really good here. He’s in good hands.” Trenton was always careful about what he said though. It would be so easy to make promises that he couldn’t take back if something went wrong. He had trained carefully to avoid saying that everything was going to be all right. “We are the best hospital in the state.”

  “I know that, but it almost doesn’t make it any easier. All the facts and figures in the world don’t seem to make it better.”

  Trenton nodded. “I know, and that sucks, I don’t think that there is much I can do to make you feel better.”

  “Irrational fear is hard to get over.” She shrugged. “No amount of talking seems to make it any better.”

  “How long until he comes out of surgery?”

  “Should be a couple of hours or so.”

  “Only a short while to torture yourself.” Trenton offered a grin. “Then he’ll probably end up in one of my rooms.”

  “You work there?”

  “Most people recovering from surgery spend at least a short while in my care.”

  “That’s amazing. You must have worked so hard to get there.”

  “It’s a lot of effort, but it's not that different than most nurses, honestly. It’s not like I’m doing anything actually in surgery. That takes more specialized training.”

  “Are you considering going into that?”

  “Becoming an OR nurse?” Trenton thought about it for a second, tilting his head to the side. “I guess I considered it, but I just plan on working for a while longer where I’m at before I start training again.”

  “Why?”

  “I guess I just want a short break from education. It’s hard to work full time and go to school.”

  “I guess you’re right.” The woman nodded. “My son works really hard every day.”

  “Has he done well?”

  “His business is doing really well, actually.”

  “That’s good for him.” Trenton offered a smile as the older woman seemed to relax a little bit, actually starting to eat her food. He was happy that she had finally gotten relaxed enough to get some sustenance in her body. “He sounds like a good man.”

  “He is. I just wish he had more time for a social life. He’s really lonely. I can tell.”

  “You can?”

  “I’m his mother, of course, I can tell.” She smirked.

  There was something about her smile that bothered him. She was guarded. He noticed that every time her sleeve rode up a bit, she tugged it down, almost as if she was hiding something on her forearm. That tickled the back of his mind, a few red flags raising. Something was going on with this woman. But he knew that it wasn’t his place to ask about it. She deserved her secrets, and he didn’t know her that well. He needed to be patient. She wasn’t going to reveal the reason to some guy that she had just met. He nodded to what she was saying. He wished that he could do something about the sadness in her eyes and the pain behind her smile, but he was just a nurse at the hospital and she wasn’t his patient. “Right, yeah. Special mom powers, right?”

  “Yeah, I guess you could say that.”

  “Sorry, that’s just something that I use when I work with kids.”

  “Do you work with kids a lot?”

  “Not often, no.” He shook his head. “Mostly when I’m covering for someone, I have some training in pediatrics, but not enough to make it a specialty.”

  “Do all nurses have specialties?”

  “Not really, no.”

  She smiled at him. By this point, her sandwich was almost finished and she didn’t seem to have noticed how much she ate. “My son would like you. I hope you end up working with him. You’ve made me feel a lot better.”

  He grinned at her. “Then I’ve done my job.”

  “I thought you weren’t working?”

  “I’m not, but my entire life is centered around making people feel better, so I’m going to call this a win.”

  “I really think that you should meet Griffin. Maybe you can cheer him up too. I worry about him. I know that he throws so much of his time into his job that he can’t even focus on dating, but he goes home every night alone, and can’t seem to settle down.”

  “Maybe he doesn’t want to.”

  She frowned slightly. “I don’t think that's it.”

  Trenton didn’t want to get deeper into this conversation. He checked his watch. “I would love to chat for longer.”

  “Did I make you late?”

  “No. I can still get back on the floor. Just barely at least. If I rush.”

  “Don’t be late on my account.” She waved him off, letting him slip away through the crowd.

  Chapter Four

  She was there the moment he opened his eyes and came back to reality. Even though he wasn’t supposed to dream while under the influence of the medication, he felt the fleeting sensation of imagery slipping out of his mind like there was something that he couldn’t quite remember.

  His head hurt, filled with a dull thudding sound.

  His mother jumped to her feet the moment his eyelids fluttered open. “How are you feeling?”

  “I’m fine, Mom.” He laughed weakly.

  She looked him up and down. “Are you sure? You can tell me. I can get a nurse if there's something wrong?”

  “I’m just coming out from the drugs.”

 

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