Mad for a Mate, page 24
If Verity rolled her eyes any harder, she’d see her own brain. “I’m sure this was all part of Jerry’s sinister plan to inconvenience you.”
“Hey, I know what it’s like to live with being different. My fur comes in almost black. Who ever heard of a black coyote? My fur doesn’t even match my hair color! My folks hated how we all looked in pictures. She said people were gonna think she cheated on my dad. The contrast was super jarring.”
“Truly you have suffered mightily.”
“But I overcame all that, and I figured out a way to get you freaks to kill each other off.”
Magnus started to laugh, which was as startling a thing as anything in the past five minutes. It wasn’t a particularly nice laugh, either.
“No. You didn’t. You thought up the Damp Squibs so you could pick them off one by one. But they kept surviving! No matter what dangerous task you set for them, they kept proving themselves. You finally had tae cheat to get it done, but all that did was tip off the others that there was something verra wrong. Then, as Verity said, you panicked, killed people who weren’t a threat to you, and brought unwanted attention to yourself. You poor shite. You screwed this in every possible way.”
“Oh, my God,” Verity said, as the reason Andy had drowned was made clear. It wasn’t enough to hope the fall would kill him. Les had to make sure, and in doing so pulled the spotlight in his direction. “He’s right! And just when I thought this couldn’t get more pathetic for you.”
“It was working!”
“Yeah, and he would’ve gotten away with it if not for you meddling squibs,” David added with a smirk.
Verity rounded on Les. “How? How was it working, you ridiculous jerk-off? How would the War Wolves even know what you were doing? What, is there an online form? An application process? An interview?”
“Well…I…it’s obvious. Or it would be. I didn’t finish!” he shouted. “They would have noticed!”
“Jesus wept.” Verity could not remember being more disgusted in her life, counting the time Kraft Macaroni & Cheese changed their recipe. “You killed my friend for a job interview. Magnus! Hold me back!”
“Why?”
“Yeah, good question,” David added. “Because we don’t have a lot of options here, and stomping this guy to death would solve a few problems.”
“Great! Don’t hold me back, Magnus.”
“Mmm-myou guys canndo shit,” Les mumbled, because the swelling was getting out of control.
“Technically true,” David replied. “We can’t do shit. I don’t have any lawful authority. I’m not a cop. I can’t arrest you. But you should come with me anyway. I’ll hand you over to Judge Gomph, and we’ll go from there.” To Verity: “He’s the unofficial justice we put in place after busting the syndicate ring last year. We couldn’t turn any of them over to Stables, for obvious reasons.”
“An if I mell oo oo muck merself?”
“If you tell me to go fuck myself, I haul your bony ass to Grove Street, explain to the SPD that you’re a cop killer, and let them deal with you. The first time you shift, they’ll lose their shit and empty their .40 calibers into you.”
“…muck you. Muck all of you.”
Chapter 54
“Oh my, look at this.”
Verity splashed ashore where Magnus Berne was waiting for her with a robe and a smile. And a bird of prey, she realized, getting closer for a better look/scent.
The woman, one of those effortlessly glamorous Brits who seemed to do everything with posh precision, smiled and extended a hand. She was wearing a crisp red suit with a skirt that stopped just above the knee, a spotless white silk blouse, nylons so sheer they were more wisp than pantyhose, and shiny red flats with slashes of black ribbons across the toes. She should have looked silly, dressed to the nines on a tiny island in the middle of a Minnesota lake, but Verity was the one who felt underdressed.
“Oh my,” she said again, shaking Verity’s dripping wet hand. “I’ve heard of you, Verity Lane. And naked again! Darling, you’ve got to leave something to the imagination.”
“He’s seen me like this before,” Verity replied. “He found me like this before. So what exactly is the mystery? What hidden reveal am I clinging to?”
“Excellent point, you two should embrace the lack of mystery, acknowledge there are no more surprises, and wed at once.” Nadia smoothed the ’do that the lake breeze had dared to disarray. “Because ‘where is the mystery?’ is the siren song of matrimony. And as for your oh-so-charming habit of swimming several miles—”
Verity made a concerted effort not to sulk. “It’s not that many miles.”
“—only to nudely flounder ashore and then pretend you want nothing to do with Magnus, despite every appearance to the contrary—”
“Wow.”
“—all I can say to that is: boats exist. In case you had no idea.”
“I’m from Florida.” She’d been about to finish with obviously I know boats exist, but Nadia’s expression of dismay was too good and she decided to let it go.
“Oh dear. Well.” For the first time (in this elegant woman’s entire life, possibly), she seemed at a loss. But then she perked up, and the smile shone again. “I’m sure the stories are exaggerated.”
Verity laughed at her.
“Ah…but on the off chance they aren’t, you should lock a man down before he finds out.”
In fewer than ten seconds, Verity understood why Annette handed over the plotting of her wedding to Nadia. Anything else was exhausting. So much easier to wash your hands of all details and keep out of her way.
“Jesus, Nadia. You’re…a lot.”
The raptor beamed, showing brilliant white teeth. So scratch that stereotype. “Thank you!”
“I’ve heard of you, too,” Verity continued. “You’re some kind of fiend. For matchmaking,” she amended. Definitely not a fiend in general. A very specific kind of fiend. Yep.
“Among other things, darling.”
“Sorry. Only Magnus gets to call me darling.”
“That’s true,” Magnus said with a straight face. “It’s a rule.”
“Pooh on rules. Darling, I practically own the word darling. And I must say, darlings, it’s lovely to see you getting on so well after all this time.”
“It’s only been three weeks,” Verity reminded her. Three weeks of figuring out exactly what Les had done, and how, and where. (The why, needless to say, had been settled pretty immediately.) Getting Judge Gomph involved. Seeking out the Harts and the Brays and going with David to tell them the truth about why their sons were in the ground. Knowing Les would essentially disappear and not caring. Wondering about all the other Les Mearns out in the world. “Not even a month.”
Figuring out what to do next.
“Yes, well, I heard you had a rocky start. But it’s lovely to see you’ve transcended your less-than-stellar beginnings.”
“Again: only three weeks. You’re making it sound like we’ve been together for years.”
“And we aren’t,” Magnus put in. When they both looked at him, he flushed. “Together, I mean. I—it’s not like that. Verity’s just…”
What? Dammit, why did you trail off after just? So not helpful!
Wait, so he’s arrogant when he anticipates you, but he’s ‘so not helpful’ when he doesn’t presume? Make up your mind, you silly bitch!
She had. Why else would she have swum to the island today of all days?
Despite Magnus’s floundering, Nadia remained undaunted, which Verity suspected was a thing with her. “All the more reason for you to snatch him up before someone else realizes what a treasure he is.”
“That makes nae sense at all, Nadia.”
“And I’m not sure treasure is the word,” Verity added.
“Ach, ouch.”
“All I wish to say is, why wait? Things happen fast out here. In our odd little group, I mean. Oz and Lila, for example. Six months ago, they hadn’t yet met. Now they’re—”
“Prenegotiated cohabitation. What?” Verity asked at their stares. “It’s such a weirdly specific phrase. It’s stuck in my head, prob’ly forever.” Also, enough chitchat. She turned to Berne, shrugged into his robe. “You guys seem busy.”
“I’m busy. I’ve no idea what Magnus is doing.”
Verity snickered. “Is this a bad time?”
“Never, darling. Nadia was just leaving.”
“Hardly, darling,” Nadia sniffed. “The wedding is tomorrow, if you recall.”
Given that there were banners and decorations and outdoor tables and outdoor seating and a chuppah (built with birch logs and topped with local greens and flowers, beautifully framed with the lake in the background, and were David and Annette Jewish?), Verity doubted Magnus had forgotten.
“And speaking of weddings, I’m thinking of starting a side business, so if you two ever do regain your senses—”
“Regain implies we lost our senses.”
“Yeah,” Verity added. “What he said.”
Nadia didn’t miss a beat. “—and make the obvious decision, consider calling on me.”
“The second we regain our senses,” Verity promised. “The ones we never lost. That’s when we’ll consider calling on you.”
“Think of the story for your grandchildren!” Nadia flicked a stray leaf from her immaculate suit. “You found her quite, quite naked, and then you teamed up and solved a murder.”
“Two murders,” they said in unison.
“Two murders!” she replied, delighted. The smile dropped off her face, and she turned to Verity. “I was so terribly, terribly sorry to hear about your brave friend. But you did catch his killer. And you dealt him more mercy than he deserved.” Carefully colored eyelids lowered as Nadia veiled her lashes. “Certainly more mercy than I would have granted.”
Jesus Christ. Annette devoured her enemies; what would Nadia have done?
“This is the part where I say something about the moral high ground.”
“Oh, darling, I’m a red kite.” The brilliant smile flashed again. “I always have the high ground.”
“Okay,” Verity replied in as neutral a tone as she could manage, because raptors were scary.
“And now here you are, Verity, the day before the big day. Nothing symbolic about that timing, not at all.”
“It’s just, we both happen to be free today,” Verity began, knowing it was futile even before Nadia turned back to Magnus.
“See, Magnus? This is how it goes. Didn’t I say?”
“Ye did,” he admitted.
“Wise of you to say so. You must listen to me in all things, darling. Think how much easier your life will be. And, Verity.”
Oh, hell, what now? “Uh, yeah?”
“How in the world did your parents come up with your name?”
“They lost a bet?”
“You do know what it means, don’t you, darling?” the bundle of condescension inquired.
“Nope. In twenty-odd years, I never once had any curiosity about my name and never asked anyone about it and never looked it up.”
“Don’t tell anyone you’re twenty-eight,” the other woman cautioned. “And goodness! Check the attitude, if you please.”
I will if you will. “And I definitely never found out it means a true principle or belief.”
“Especially one of fundamental importance,” Magnus added.
“So we all have access to dictionaries,” Nadia said, looking more than a little put out. “Lovely.” But she brightened almost immediately, like one of those punching bags for kids. No matter how hard you hit the thing, it always popped right back up. Unless you stabbed it. Or set it on fire. “But why did they choose it?”
“Their names are Ray and Kay. They wanted a kid who would stand out, so they gave me a name that would stand out.”
“That did the trick, I imagine.”
“Yep. Of course, they regretted it once they realized I was a squib. Then the last thing they wanted me to do was stand out. They figured I’d be safer if I kept my head down. Literally and figuratively.”
Magnus had no comment, but he reached out and took her cold hand in his, which Nadia watched with bright-eyed interest. “Well, your parents are awful, darling,” she said kindly. “Lovely people, I’m sure, but awful all the same. But don’t feel bad. Many parents are. Which is why I myself shall remain unwed and chick-free.”
“What a loss to the world, lass.” This with an admirably straight face.
“Oh, I know,” Nadia replied earnestly. “Believe me, I gave it careful consideration before ultimately rejecting the very idea of—of any of it. People get decidedly less interesting the moment they reproduce, have you noticed? Perhaps it’s the lack of sleep.”
“It’s definitely the lack of sleep,” Verity replied.
“It’s quite the phenomenon. I wonder why no one’s made a study of it? Regardless, none of that for the likes of moi.”
“But you’re always fixing people up,” Verity pointed out. “You always want people to get together. Not just get together—you want everyone around you to get married. It’s your thing, right? Your weird, intrusive thing?”
“I’ll ignore the cattiness as a lady should and instead point out that solitude is best for raptors. I think Philippa Gregory put it perfectly. ‘If I had been the falcon my father called me, I would have flown high and nested in cold, lonely places and ridden the free wind. Instead, I have been like a bird in the mews, always tied and sometimes hooded. Never free and sometimes blind.’20 Marriage isn’t for the likes of me,” Nadia finished. “It is for the likes of bears.”
Verity shivered, and not just because she was wet and wrapped in a robe. Why were they even talking about this? She and Magnus weren’t a couple, no matter how badly Nadia wanted to believe otherwise.
“I need to get Verity to where it’s warm,” Magnus said firmly. “We’ll leave you to it, then, shall we, lass?”
Nadia shooed them away like a pageant winner: she waved from the wrist, not the elbow. “Yes, yes, off you trot. You’re spending the night, aren’t you, Verity?”
“Yeah, so you don’t have to worry about me swimming up naked to the wedding party tomorrow.”
“That is a great relief to me,” Nadia replied, and produced a clipboard from who knew where, and crossed something out. Suddenly Verity was dying to see that checklist.
“Nice to meet you,” she said, because that was probably true.
Before Nadia could answer, there was a muffled buzz. She pulled her phone out of her pocket, scowled at the caller ID, and answered. “You had better be calling me to tell me the cake will be here by noon sharp tomorrow, madam. Your assistant tried to tell me six o’clock, and I was shocked, shocked to hear such nonsense from a Carleton graduate.”
“Time to go,” Magnus muttered, steering her toward the house.
“And I want the cake to look like rings of birch, birch. It should look like three elegant tree trunks stacked vertically. The chuppah is birch, the woods on this island are birch, several things in the house appear to be made of birch, there is birch everywhere, and I will have a cake that reflects that!”
“Right now,” he added and started tugging her up the short slope to the house.
“I shall have your eyeballs for my gimlet if you tell me two p.m.!”
“Good call,” Verity replied, and they scurried for cover like mice.
* * *
20. Nadia’s not remembering it quite right. Check out The Boleyn Inheritance by Philippa Gregory to see what the hell she’s talking about.
Chapter 55
“Thanks for inviting me over.”
“Thank you for coming.”
“I can’t believe you’re letting them use the island for a wedding. This time tomorrow, your lonely little island will be lousy with Shifters. And I heard David has Stable friends who are coming, too. This place will be packed.”
Magnus actually shuddered, which was hilarious. “I’m happy to help a f-friend.”
“Hey, you almost got it out without stuttering. Progress.”
“Takes practice,” he said so glumly, she had to smile.
“You’re doing great. You’re great. You are…a great guy.” Jesus Christ, spit it out or shut the hell up. “You—I mean, I know I gave you—give you—a lot of shit. A lot. All the time. Daily.”
“It’s one of your many charms,” he teased.
“But I only do that because I’m pathologically immature. You’re great. Argh, I’m bad at this. If I’m not mocking you, I kind of have no idea what to say. Is there a way I can tell you I like-like you while also belittling you?” She hid her face in her hands. “Oh, Christ, I just said like-like.”
He gently grasped her hands, pulled them away from her face. “You’re doing beautifully. Better than most, under the circumstances. I jumped into your life. Ye had no warning. O’course it was strange and off-putting.”
“Actually, I jumped into yours. Well, flopped into yours. Passed out into yours? Naked, by the way. If we’re talking strange and off-putting. So why’d you invite me to stay over?”
He blinked at the subject shift. Except it wasn’t a subject shift. Not really. “You liked it here. You like the boat. You were coming to the wedding anyway.”
“Magnus.”
“I wanted to see you,” he said baldly. “Badly.”
“There we go. Good news is, back atcha.”
“Sorry, what?”
They were in the kitchen where he had a pot of Cullen skink bubbling. Verity had made copies of Jerry’s notebook for David and Judge Gomph, with an eye toward eventually getting the original back to the Harts. In the process, she saw the recipe for Cullen skink, which Magnus swore to her was delicious, and never mind that it sounded like the name of a space villain.
