I Do Love You Still, page 7
“Bet? Let’s make sure it stays that way.”
“I’ll talk to Xena when I see her. Bye.”
“Hold up. What you doing after we leave Mom’s tonight?” he asked.
I knew it was coming. Memphis, like most men, was quick to forget shit. “What you have in mind?” I asked.
The smile in his voice returned. “Netflix and chill at your spot like we used to. And stovetop popcorn popped in olive oil with whipped butter and sea salt.”
“Fine, but we’re watching my favorite Girls Trip,” I said.
Laughing, Memphis stated, “Black Panther is the feature. Never gets old. And make me one of your famous Greek salads.”
“You’d betta get a to-go from Ms. Hattie. I’m fifteen on top of fifteen minutes late. Bye, boy.”
“I love you,” he said quickly.
“Love you more.” Blushing, I ended the call. I’d find out what was really bothering him when I looked him in his eyes.
I parked near the entrance, picked up my purse and Xena’s gift bag, then hurried inside.
CHAPTER 16
Xena
Browsing the gift shop upstairs at the Pirates’ House, I’d read all of the bumper stickers, hanging plaques, and T-shirts. A call registered from Topez. Not wanting to explain why I wasn’t home finishing up our client’s tux, I let her call go to voice mail, then listened to her message.
“Xena!” she screeched. “We have a revision to the contract and you will never guess from whom. This will, if you do an outstanding job on the nine suits, secure us a place at New York’s Men’s Fashion Week next summer! Call me soon as you get this message.”
I leapt high, kicked both feet backward. “Thank you, Lord.” That was the best news of my entire life. Had to rethink making all of the groomsmen appear the same.
The cashier questioned, “Honey, are you okay over there?”
Nodding really fast, I couldn’t stop smiling. “Yes, ma’am.”
I glanced at my watch. “Oh no.” Anxiety replaced joy.
No updated text from my bestie, I could’ve at least sewn a thousand stitches. Hurrying downstairs, I saw Tina-Love posing at the bottom of the stairway.
“Girl, I have to go home and finish a jacket and pair of pants by six, meet with Topez, then get started on my next contract. I’m finally getting my big break.” Dinner with Adonis’s parents could wait.
Tina-Love leaned down, hugged me tight. “Calm down. We’re here now.”
“Let’s meet for breakfast tomorrow,” I told my bestie.
Tina-Love was glowing, wearing a cream-colored multilayered bell-sleeve top that was buttoned up to the wingtip collar. She rocked a pair of black high-waist leather short shorts. Her forty-inch-long legs glistened. Gold crescent moons, bright stars, and identifiable planets decorated the hot pants that barely covered her cute buttocks.
“I like your jumper. You look so cute. I miss your ass.” Her eyes shined at mine.
“You could’ve let me know your fifteen was going to be thirty, but I should’ve known. Outside of business—”
“Hush,” she abruptly interrupted with a grin. “You should’ve known since you were eavesdropping, gurl. Hope you enjoyed Roman too.”
Tina-Love kissed then hugged me tighter, rocking me side to side. I was glad when she finally released our embrace. I stepped back.
“You good?” she asked. “Your energy feels off.”
Overwhelmed and excited, I was on the verge of crying. One of the reasons we’d bonded was growing up we were both social outcasts. Tina-Love was tall and lanky. I was an introvert being abused by my stepmom.
“Sweet and sour good. But—” My spirit flat-lined midsentence, evoking silence.
My work was arduous. I loved the outcome more than the process. Showing up, having others fuss over making her body a canvas, my bestie was head-to-toe gorgeous. “I’d like to live in your shoes for a day,” I confessed. Seemed like fun.
Tina-Love’s net worth was eight figures, and she seldom had to spend a dime of her money. I was ready to achieve millionaire status based on my name. But not from living in the air, sexing different men, or being on my feet.
Twirling once, she replied, “I can arrange that. If you’re serious this time.”
She’d been in the industry almost ten years. She could make it happen? More from a fantasy standpoint. I fingered the untied gold bow dangling around her neck. Red open-toed stilettoes, six-inches high glided across the wooden floor as though they were on rollers.
“See you tomorrow,” I said, stepping toward the front door.
“You’re not leaving. Cheer up, honey, I’m late, not dead,” she exclaimed, pulling me to the hostess’s stand.
No matter what the occasion, she always commanded attention. I did too. Just not when I was with her.
“Call me.” A guy my height, bald with a full beard, handed Tina-Love his card, then added, “Anytime.”
I watched Tina-Love let the card flutter until it hit the floor. I failed at concealing my smirk.
“Fuck you with that ‘anytime’ bullshit,” she lamented. “Everything here is designer all day.”
“Except your mouth,” he said.
“Take your disrespectful dick home to your wife!” she shouted.
People lined up behind us clapped. The guy left without looking back.
Tina-Love’s perfect-width shoulders, never-ending torso, and giraffe legs got any man she wanted. Most went wild over those plump lips. Her natural hair was parted down the middle like mine, but she had mad volume that fluffed on the sides as though her Afro had collapsed at the top. Tina-Love could go from brunette to red to blond to silky pressed, to Brazilian blowout, to dreads, back to Afro any day of the week.
The maître d’ scanned Tina-Love head to toe. “Impeccable indeed,” he stated, speaking more through his nostrils. “Your mouth spoke the truth to that man,” he said, escorting us to a small room tucked off of the buffet dining area. He passed six occupied tables, then entered a quaint enclave that was more suitable for a private party, but I appreciated the exclusivity.
“Your waiter will be right with you, ladies.”
Okay, nasal congestion wasn’t his problem, that was simply the way he spoke.
“Excuse me, sir. We don’t have much time. Can you put in an order for a bottle of champagne?” Tina-Love asked, adding a friendly, “Please.”
Standing taller, he said, “Coming right up, madam,” then he retraced his last steps.
“Why do you flirt with every man?” I questioned.
“If you have to think about flirting, it’s not flirting. Anyone can achieve low self-esteem. I prefer to build upon perfection.” Handing me the bag in her hand, my bestie said, “Compliments of the designer. It’s an original.”
I sat my lilac Dior aside. If I auctioned all of the originals she’d gifted me, I could lease the space above my storefront for storage and utilize downstairs for designing and sewing only. I removed the tissue, pulled out a tag with a name I didn’t bother trying to pronounce. “Pewter. My favorite color. Thanks.”
Hues of gray represented all facets of Savannah’s history. From the soil to grow rice, to uniforms worn by soldiers who fought and died during the wars, to the pictures hanging on the walls surrounding us of pirates wearing tattered clothing. Guns, gunpowder, moss hanging from trees throughout the city—the one thing I realized was people were not onlyforgiving, many Southerners were forgetful. Ashes to ashes, dead bodies that hung from branches eventually turned to dust. Gray was a blend of black, white, and everyone in between.
“A little something to add to my gurl’s collection,” Tina-Love boasted.
She sat next to me at the table set for fourteen, placed her purse on an empty wooden chair. I put both of my handbags on the seat closest to me.
“Xena, your face is glowing. I love it. You’re finally using the twenty-four-karat gold serum I sent.”
Touching my cheeks, I wished that were true. “Thanks.”
Tina-Love lowered my hand, shook her head. “Don’t touch it.” She’d taught me that only freshly sanitized fingers roamed above the neck.
Our waiter appeared, filled our flutes with champagne, then placed the bottle in a bucket of ice. “Since you don’t have much time, may I take your orders?”
“Two orders of your shrimp and fries,” Tina-Love requested.
“Nothing for me,” I told him. “I have to leave soon.”
“You also have to eat,” my bestie countered, handing him a credit card. “Make hers to go. Mine for here and I’ll have two of your Greek salads to go. Close me out.”
I smiled. “Entertaining back-to-back today, huh?”
Retrieving her cell, Tina-Love answered, “Something like that.” Tapping on her screen, she showed me a photo. “Can you believe how luscious this man is? Oh, my, gosh. If I could eat him through the phone, I’d swallow his dick whole.”
I couldn’t recall ever witnessing her depressed or disgusted. Didn’t seem normal for anyone to be upbeat all the time. I didn’t want to dilute my girlfriend’s happiness.
Staring at the pic, I gasped. “Impressive, but do you always have to lead our reunion with a man’s penis?” I visualized Memphis fully extended. That was the only shaft I longed for.
“No. But since you walked out on our boy, you never have anything exciting to share. You know I don’t play when it comes to my grind. It’s less stressful when I date like dudes and treat them like dogs. Gots to see the goods up front. Will not get that fake-ass surprise that comes packaged with popcorn between two peanuts. I have them jacking off and everything. Wanna see his cum shot? He’s got serious range.” Tina-Love’s eyes grew wide.
Leaning back, I glanced around, as if someone in the adjacent area heard her, then I shook my head. “No, thanks. Adonis is good to me.”
“But is he good enough for you? No. You don’t love Adonis.”
I wiggled my ring finger. She held my hand.
“Bitch, this is nice, but give it back. Memphis will be able to do better real soon. Besides, you don’t even smile with your eyes anymore.”
I didn’t have to. “You’re the model. You’re trained to project fake emotions. I’m not.”
“Gurlfriend, you’d best stop wasting time and get back with Memphis before he snatches the gold. Once he announces he’s Team USA, those white girls are going to be all over that beautiful black man.”
Tina-Love had seen Memphis naked quite a few times when all of us used to skinny-dip in her pool, or relax in her Jacuzzi. At first, I was the only one uncomfortable. Tina-Love reassured me people in other countries had a pure affinity for nudity. Gradually, I became accustomed to the three of us not wearing clothes while at her house.
“He’s probably already got situations and I’m sure the Latinas are humping him too.” I stared into her eyes. Squinted. Upset that she’d attempted to make me feel desperate.
I knew she kept in contact with him. “He posted on his social he was coming home soon. You know when?”
“If I tell you, what are you going to do with the info?”
Tina-Love made it easier for me to deliver my bad news. “I need a break from men. Seriously, I have to re-elevate my trajectory.” What was I doing with my life?
“I have your solution in one word.” Tina-Love sang, “Italy.”
Taking a deep breath, I exhaled. “Maybe, if I’m not—”
“Not what, gurl?”
“Pregnant.” There, I’d said it.
Laughing, she ignored my sorrow. “I thought you had a real problem.” Tina-Love stood, tapped on her phone, placed it on the table. “I’m going to the ladies’ room. When I come back, I want you to repeat that. If I heard what I thought, Memphis will definitely not accept your having another man’s child. We’re getting rid of that problem immediately. It won’t be your first abortion.”
Holding back tears, I watched Tina-Love strut away with confidence about my dilemma. Memphis? His stepdad raised him. Memphis shouldn’t have issues paying it forward. Tina-Love didn’t have all the answers.
A text popped up from Mrs. Oglethorpe: Dinner at my home 6pm. We want to celebrate our grandchild’s conception with you and my son.
I replied, How’s 8pm? I have a client coming over at 6. Plus, I was going to need a nap and another shower.
That’s grand. See you then, was her response.
I can’t endure her for the next nine months! I screamed in my mind. Okay, breathe. I inhaled into my belly, held it for three seconds, then exhaled out my mouth. Eight o’clock wasn’t going to work either. I’d forgotten about Topez.
Scrolling through my photo album, I focused on the first picture Tina-Love had taken of Memphis and me the day she introduced us.
Week one we went on a date to the black museum, the Beach Institute. Then we cruised on the riverboat. Not the one tourists purchased tickets to board. That was the one old man Ben Matthews—who had lots of wisdom—told me a black man used to own until white people forced that guy into an early grave. Memphis and I sailed on the free transit ferry. No one could’ve convinced me we weren’t going to be together forever.
Lawd, why did you make Memphis this fine?
My bestie’s phone buzzed and lit up.
I stared at her screen. Frowned when I saw a picture of Memphis jumping a hurdle. Checking for Tina-Love’s return, I didn’t see her. I picked up her phone. A text registered, Coming straight to your house when I land. Stay posted up . . . Oh, invite your mom to my mom’s tonight. She’d love to see Janice. Up to you.
Memphis’s text was immediately followed by a call. “Wow” I looked toward the entrance of the dining area. I didn’t want to answer; I had to. It was fate.
I replied, “Hey, M.”
An absent response lingered. Quietly I sucked in all the air I could. Letting it out, I repeated, “Hey, M.”
“Z,” was all he mentioned.
Ending our dialogue, I deleted his incoming call from Tina-Love’s log, pressed the side button to close her screen, then placed Tina-Love’s phone exactly where it had been.
Reclaiming her seat, and her cell, she glanced at her phone, up at me, back at her screen, then said, “Now repeat that.”
“You’re going to be an aunt.” I touched my stomach. “I’m with child. Pregnant. Expecting in almost nine months. Did I make myself clear?” The tears I’d held in, I could no longer. I wept.
The waiter entered with Tina-Love’s platter and two to-go bags. Quietly he sat everything down, then quickly exited.
“Hush,” Tina-Love said, dabbing my cheeks with a napkin. “You’re pregnant, not dead. You can’t have it.”
She’d said what I was thinking. Maybe the timing of Memphis’s text was some sort of sign that keeping Adonis’s baby was not right. I felt as though I’d cheated on Memphis.
“I can’t get rid of it. Adonis knows I’m having his baby. And his parents bought me that new BMW parked out front. And I’ve already had—”
Tina-Love interrupted. “You are not for sale, honey. Take the Plan B if you’re late.” Tina-Love’s eyes became glued to her screen. Without moving her head, she shifted her stare toward me. “Or you can take ella.”
Plan B wasn’t a consideration. My conception was confirmed. Not familiar with ella, I searched online. It worked like the morning-after pill. I could take it up to five days, 120 hours after unprotected intercourse.
“Here it says five days. I was supposed to start my period two weeks ago.”
Tina-Love hunched her shoulders as though we were deciding on tiramisu or peach cobbler. “The abortion pill it is, then. Problem solved.”
“That’s morally wrong,” I retorted, secretly regretting my first termination.
“What’s wrong is your having another man’s baby when you know you’re still in love with Memphis. Stop settling. Your life, your choice.”
She was right, but she still hadn’t mentioned she knew he was coming home. I didn’t bother telling her about my answering his call.
Picking up my gift and to-go order, I said, “I’ll hit you later. Don’t want to interrupt your plans for this evening.” Two of Memphis’s favorite Greek salads to go suddenly made sense.
“You’re not the only one with feelings. Let’s not forget who broke up with whom and why. By the way”—she eyed the gift bag—“you’re welcome, Xena.”
“Um-hmm. If you want to make me feel bad about my decisions, thanks,” I said, concluding our dialogue.
Tina-Love would never ask, but she wasn’t getting back the purse. Ever.
CHAPTER 17
Xena
I was disappointed in Tina-Love, not Memphis.
Locking myself in the bathroom, I sat my designer bag on the wicker basket next to the vanity, stared in the mirror. My bestie should’ve told me she’d made plans to see my ex at her house tonight. Hadn’t heard from her since I’d left the Pirates’ House.
Adonis jiggled the handle, which was precisely why I’d shut him out. I had no peace with this man on my ass, my heels. My voice mail was full. Next, he’d have to pay for additional storage on my phone. Or I’d delete Adonis’s photos before a single one of Memphis.
Tap. Tap. Tap. “Sweetheart, we need to leave in ten minutes. We don’t want to be late for my mom’s din-din.” He sang, “She made gumbo.”
Somberly I answered, “Okay.” Although I loved her seafood filé gumbo with three types of crab, lobster tails in the shell, shrimp, and a little andouille sausage, the only thing I had a taste for was Memphis.
Opening my purse, I retrieved the second pregnancy test I’d bought earlier. I was supposed to take it at the restaurant with my bestie in the stall with me. Didn’t want to go through abortion number two without Tina-Love being there.
I sat on the toilet, peed on the stick to confirm what I already knew. Where was my genie in a bottle to grant me three wishes? One, to not be pregnant. Two, to win back my one true love, Memphis. Three, to find forgiveness in my heart for the awful things my mother had done to me when I was a child.
