Trashed!, page 14
Or not.
Grandma’s necklace was on the top shelf, displayed in an open black velvet box. It was the emerald clasp that gave it away.
“Hey—that’s Grandma’s pearl necklace,” Ramona said. “What’s it doing here?”
“Hello, Arthur. Hello, Veda. Hello, Ramona, too. Good to see you all.”
So much had happened since Arthur had requested backup that, till that moment, he’d forgotten. Now he turned toward the familiar voice and blinked.
“How can I be of service?” Officer Bernstein asked. He was wearing regular clothes, not his uniform. Arthur guessed he wasn’t working.
“Hey, Officer Bernstein,” Ramona said. “Look at that—it’s my grandmother’s stolen necklace. Arthur found it!”
“Stolen?” The blond saleswoman half choked on the word.
“Don’t worry.” Ramona seemed to feel bad for her. “I bet you didn’t steal it, right?”
“I? Well, of course not, but—”
“Did you see who brought it in to sell?” Ramona asked. “What did he look like? That’s the thief, probably—don’t you think so, Officer Bernstein? Or maybe Arthur knows who the thief is already. My brother doesn’t look like it, but he’s smart sometimes.”
Arthur was horrified. He hadn’t expected Ramona to talk at all! I will never bring her anywhere again, he was thinking, and he wanted to apologize to the saleswoman.
But before he could, the woman spoke—sounding a little shaky. “I… I don’t remember her name, only that she was wearing those funky Lion King earrings….”
CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN
In the end Officer Bernstein bought the ice cream. And after that he explained why the police hadn’t found the missing necklace and returned it to Grandma already.
“Naturally,” he said, “we at the BPD reach out to both Jumper Jewelers and Universal Trash anytime we get a report of stolen jewelry. In this particular case, though, no report.”
Ramona said, “You mean my grandparents didn’t call nine-one-one and say, ‘Hey, our necklace is missing!’?” Ramona was sitting on an iron-and-wood bench outside the ice cream store eating her mango cone. Veda (strawberry sundae) was on her left and Arthur (double chocolate cone) was on her right. Officer Bernstein had a bench to himself, facing them. He wasn’t exactly eating his kid-size marshmallow sundae. He was more like watching it melt.
“Yes, more or less. That is, they didn’t file a report,” Officer Bernstein said. “As I believe you know, your grandfather had his own particular theory that he wished us to investigate. But the necklace belonged to your grandmother. I believe it was she who chose not to report it.”
“So is that why you couldn’t take the necklace right now?” Arthur had been disappointed. He’d known that plain old Arthur Popper, private citizen, age eleven, wouldn’t be able to convince anybody at the jewelry store to hand him the necklace. But he figured a sworn officer of the law like Officer Bernstein could convince them. Then he, Arthur, would return it to Grandma, and she would say he was wonderful—good at something besides customer service, even—and he would feel a glowing sense of accomplishment.
That was why he had texted Officer Bernstein in the first place.
But, like a lot of his good ideas lately, this one hadn’t worked out.
On the way to the ice cream store, Officer Bernstein had explained that once he got the paperwork from the BPD, he could go back and interview the store manager, get a description of the suspect, and probably get the pearl necklace, too.
But paperwork took time, and this was the weekend. It would probably be Tuesday at least before he could go back to Jumper Jewelers.
Ramona, Veda, and Arthur finished their ice cream. Officer Bernstein ate his in three bites. Then he contemplated the empty cup, tossed it into the trash, sighed, and offered the kids a ride home.
Ramona was excited. “In the police car? With the siren?”
“Just my Prius, I’m afraid,” said Officer Bernstein sadly.
Even without a siren the ride back was quick. On the way, Veda didn’t say much, Arthur noticed. Then he realized she hadn’t said much when they’d been eating ice cream either. Was she mad at him? He hadn’t gotten the necklace or identified the thief. She must have been disappointed too.
Officer Bernstein let the three of them out in the parking lot at the store and waved as he drove away. Ramona had swimming lessons, so she disappeared upstairs to change. Arthur figured Veda had to get home, so he turned to tell her goodbye… and got a big surprise. Right there in the parking lot in front of all the cars and everyone—she gave him a huge hug.
“Wait… what?” Arthur was too freaked out to move. Except for that time when she’d slugged him, Veda had never touched him before. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
Veda let go and looked into his face. She was grinning. “I’m just happy!” she said. “And grateful, too. Muchas gracias, Arturo!”
Arthur was confused. “But I didn’t get the necklace back,” he said. “And we still don’t know who stole it. Or any of the other jewelry, either.”
“You idiot!” Veda said, and Arthur felt better. This was more like the usual Veda. “You proved Juan didn’t steal it.”
“I did?” Arthur said.
“Well, yeah! I mean, unless Juan dressed up like a woman and wore lion earrings when he took the necklace to Jumper. Right?”
“Yeah, you’re right,” he said slowly, remembering what the saleswoman had said. “I don’t see Juan wearing lion earrings. I mean, skulls or something. But not lions.”
“Of course not!” Veda said. “And Officer Bernstein was right there when she said it too. So he knows Juan didn’t do it. I can’t wait to tell Mamá!”
Afraid of getting hugged again, Arthur stepped back. “You’re welcome,” he said, “and Juan is welcome too. But there’s still one problem. We still don’t know who did it.”
CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
Arthur was glad Juan didn’t do it.
He was glad Veda was happy.
He was even glad, he guessed, that eventually Officer Bernstein would find out from Jumper Jewelers who’d stolen the necklace—and probably all the other jewelry, too.
But for a fact, in spite of all he was glad about, Arthur felt bummed.
He had expected by this afternoon to have that whole glowing sense of etc., but no. The mystery remained a mystery. He, Arthur, had not solved it. He wasn’t a good detective after all.
And what now?
He thought of checking in at the store to see if they needed help. He even thought of doing homework or reading King Arthur.
Then he had a better idea. At school they had learned how exercise is good for the chemicals in your brain. He would walk around the lake. Maybe that would improve the chemicals.
In Boulder people used to take blue sky for granted. But lately there had been lots of wildfires nearby, and the wildfires sometimes sent their smoke toward town. That meant the blue sky, when there was blue sky like today, seemed special. Setting out across the parking lot and onto the trail, Arthur was glad for blue sky.
Soon—was it brain chemicals?—he realized that, looked at one way, the BPD paperwork was his friend. It gave him until Tuesday, three days if Officer Bernstein was right, to solve the mystery himself.
But how?
Basically, the question came down to this: Who was the woman with the lion earrings? The thief, right? And the thief was also, probably, someone in the book group, and that meant…
I should ask Mom and Grandma if anyone in their book group ever wears lion earrings.
Duh! It was obvious. In fact, he would’ve turned around right then, except that both Mom and Grandma were busy with that Stomp fundraiser. He would probably have to wait till tomorrow at least to talk to either one of them.
Meanwhile Arthur tried to remember the names on the book group list his mom had given him, tried to think if any of those names would belong to a person who really, really loved lions.
When this process got him nowhere, he stopped walking and took a deep breath. The air smelled like the lake, watery green. The trail wound among purple wildflowers and through a village of prairie dog burrows. As he watched, three of the critters sat up on their haunches and watched him back. High in the sky, black turkey vultures wheeled. Arthur looked up at them and squinted. One of them, soaring on its own, might even have been an eagle.
Arthur moved on. He was glad for nature. He was a little less bummed. Still, detecting was hard work. Maybe he should go back to customer service.
* * *
The kitchen clock said 4:29 when Arthur got home.
“Where’ve ya been, kiddo?” his dad asked. “Up to no good as usual?”
Arthur wanted to tell his dad about the necklace, Officer Bernstein, and Veda—except that would take a few minutes, and his dad was obviously in a hurry. “Not exactly,” Arthur said. “Are you dressed for tonight already?”
Dad was wearing real pants, not jeans or khakis, a button-up shirt, and a tie, even. The tie was dark green with pictures of red squirrels on it.
“The social event of the season!” Dad said. “How do I look?”
“Isn’t that a Christmas tie?” Arthur asked.
“Probably,” Dad said, “but it’s brand-new.”
“And those aren’t prairie dogs; they’re squirrels,” Arthur said.
“Close cousins of prairie dogs, right?” Dad said.
Arthur shrugged. “I guess?” He wondered if prairie dogs were cousins with mice, too. “So what time is this thing?”
“Not till seven,” Dad said, “but I have to go retrieve the truck in a few minutes, which, uh… brings me to something else I have to tell you.”
“Yeah?” Arthur realized he was hungry. “Can I have a snack?”
Dad said sure and actually got the good cookies down from the high shelf. Arthur did not mention his double chocolate cone. “So the thing is,” Dad continued, “you know your mom and I, and your grandma, we’re all going to this event tonight.”
Arthur popped a whole cookie into his mouth. “Uh-huh,” he said, chewing, and then he realized his dad looked serious. “What’s wrong?”
“So we can’t leave you and Ramona home alone,” Dad said. “I mean, obviously.”
“Not obviously.” Arthur was getting suspicious. “I’m old enough. Didn’t I take the bus downtown today?”
But Dad was shaking his head. “That was daytime, Arthur. Soon maybe we’ll let you stay alone at night, but not quite yet. So, the thing is… Grandpa is coming over.”
“Wait, what? Why isn’t he going to the Prairie Dog Stomp?” Arthur asked.
“Your grandpa,” Dad said slowly, “is not big on social events. He would rather spend time with his beloved grandchildren. You should be honored.”
Arthur frowned. “Right.”
Now Dad was getting annoyed. “Look, kiddo,” he said, “I know Grandpa can be a little difficult, but he cares about you, and—”
“He thinks Juan stole Grandma’s necklace!” Arthur said. “And Juan didn’t! I have proof! That’s where Mo and I were this afternoon, getting proof. Officer Bernstein knows too.”
Dad nodded, obviously distracted. “Great,” he said. “Good. I’m sure you’ll tell me about it tomorrow. Meanwhile—”
“But, Dad—” Arthur started.
Dad shook his head, raised his hand. “I am so sorry, kiddo, but I don’t have time,” he said. “Now, for tonight can you just be pleasant to your grandpa? Don’t mention anything about the necklace or about Juan. Nothing controversial, right? Tomorrow you can tell me all about it.”
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
Dad left to get the truck, and soon after, Mom came home with Ramona and two bags of McDonald’s for dinner.
Arthur couldn’t believe his luck. Ice cream, cookies, and fast food in one day?
But Ramona complained. “Fast food is unhealthy, Mama. We learned it in school.”
“I’ll eat your fries, then,” Arthur said. He reached for one, and Ramona batted his hand. “I didn’t say I didn’t want it.”
“It’s just one night, and you’ll live,” Mom said. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to get ready.”
“Mom?” Arthur said. “Can I just ask a quick question? About your book group?”
“Arthur, I love you, but I’ve got to take a shower and do my hair and all that. Tomorrow, okay? I promise.”
* * *
By the time Grandpa opened the mudroom door, Arthur and Ramona had crumpled their McDonald’s bags and thrown them away. Grandpa was grinning.
“Hi, Grandpa,” Ramona greeted him. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, I’m okay,” Grandpa said, still grinning. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
Ramona stared for a few seconds. “It’s just that your cheeks look kind of achy. Are your cheeks achy?”
“No!” Grandpa’s grin slipped. “Why would you say that?”
Ramona nodded. “That’s better. You look more like yourself.”
Grandpa snorted, erased the grin altogether. “Your grandmother suggested I should be more good-humored around you two.” He looked from Ramona to Arthur. “But it didn’t work, so fine. Never mind.”
Mom came in. Earlier she had been wearing her oldest jeans and a T-shirt. Now she was transformed, wearing her nice green dress, gold high heels, and makeup. The pearl necklace would have looked good, Arthur thought.
“Thanks for doing this, Dad,” Mom said. “I know they’ll be no trouble. Right, you guys? You will do everything you can to get along?”
Arthur really wanted to say something about Juan and the necklace, but he guessed he had to wait. “Okay,” he said unhappily.
And Ramona said, “Of course, Mama,” in her most annoying perfect-child voice.
“Great,” Mom said. “We won’t be super late. I have a lot to get done tomorrow.”
After she left, Arthur, Ramona, and Grandpa stood around listening to the sound of her footsteps fading on the stairs. Finally, when it got quiet, Grandpa asked, “So I guess you two probably go to bed early, right?”
“Not that early,” Ramona said.
“Oh,” Grandpa said. “But I guess you’re pretty self-sufficient, right?”
Ramona looked at Arthur. “What does ‘self-sufficient’ mean?”
Arthur blinked. Usually Ramona didn’t admit when she didn’t know a word. He was surprised she had asked him, was even a little bit pleased. “ ‘Take care of ourselves,’ ” he told her.
“Oh?” Ramona said. “So, yeah, I guess. But sometimes Dad plays a game with me. Or Mom reads me a book.” She shrugged. “Would you like to read me a book, Grandpa?”
“Depends on the book,” Grandpa said.
“Little House on the Prairie?” Ramona said.
Grandpa put a finger down his throat—the universal sign for Gag me. Arthur cracked up. He didn’t like the Little House books either.
“What are you reading, Arthur?” Grandpa asked.
“King Arthur. Sort of,” Arthur said.
“Are you, now?” Grandpa nodded thoughtfully. “That gives me an idea. You kids ever heard of the Holy Grail?”
CHAPTER FIFTY
The next morning Dad was making coffee when Arthur went into the kitchen. “Where’s Mom?” Arthur asked.
Dad yawned. “Still asleep.”
Arthur felt bursting with news to tell. Juan was innocent! They’d found the necklace at Jumper Jewelers! It wasn’t just the necklace that was missing; there was other jewelry too!
But before he could say any of this, Ramona came in, and she was bursting with questions.
Like, was there a kind of berry called “elderberry,” and if there was, did it smell bad? How sharp were rabbits’ teeth really? And if a sword cut off somebody’s arms and legs, would they still be alive?
Dad had not done anything about breakfast. His face was squinty, as if the light were bright, even though it wasn’t.
“Do elderberries smell bad?” Ramona repeated her question.
Very carefully Dad poured coffee from the carafe into a mug and took a sip. Then he sat down at the table.
Ramona leaned close, her face just inches from her dad’s. “Why won’t you talk to me?”
Dad cringed and closed his eyes. “Elderberries, you said?” He opened his eyes. “And sharp teeth?”
“Also cut-off arms and legs,” Arthur added helpfully.
Dad nodded. “I think I understand. You and Grandpa watched a movie, didn’t you? Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I believe that’s one of his favorites.”
Dad took a couple more sips before answering the questions: He had never smelled elderberries; real rabbits’ teeth weren’t sharp, as far as he knew; and a person whose arms and legs had been cut off would probably die… unless they got medical treatment fast.
“So the movie was all lies?” Ramona said.
“It’s supposed to be funny,” Arthur said.
“It was kind of funny,” Ramona said, “especially the cartoon parts. But the blood was yucky.”
“And once, Grandpa sent us out because it was inappropriate,” Arthur added.
“Maybe don’t mention any of this to your mom,” Dad said.
“Where is Mom?” Ramona asked.
Dad said, “She’s sleeping in,” and got to his feet. “Can you guys get your own breakfast? I need to go downstairs and open up the store.”
“But, Dad,” Arthur protested. “I want to tell you about Juan and—”
“Maybe if the store isn’t too busy, you can tell me later?” Coffee clutched in his hand, Dad headed out and down the stairs.
Ramona looked at her brother and snorted. “What’s the point in even having parents?”
Arthur said, “I’ll get you cereal, Mo.”
“I want pancakes,” Ramona said.
Arthur wiped his bangs out of his eyes. “Ramona?”
“Okay, fine. Cereal,” she said. “But put sugar on it, okay?”
Arthur got out bowls, spoons, cereal, milk, and sugar.
“I dreamed about the movie,” Ramona told him. “Only the Grail in my dream wasn’t gold the way King Arthur’s was. It looked like Edie’s teacup.”
