The Promise of Easter, page 6
“You really look like your bruder did at your age.” The words were out before he had time to wonder if it was a good idea to remind the boy.
But Micah nodded. “Yah, Mammi says so. She says I’m like him.”
“You couldn’t find anyone better to be like,” Matt said, his throat tightening.
He hoped the boy had good memories of his big brother. How much was he likely to hold on to after two years had gone by? Would Micah remember the time Matt and James had taken him clear up to the top of the ridge to look for wild blackberries? Matt would have to ask after he and Micah got to know each other.
Micah was gazing up at the roof. “I’ll work on that.” He started up the ladder.
Matt snatched him off the ladder in a quick, unthinking movement, his heart pounding. The low roof of the brooder coop became the rocky face of Hawk Cliff for a split second.
“Hey! What’d you do that for?” Micah’s face reddened. “I’m not a baby.”
Hanging on to the ladder, Matt fought to compose himself. His hoped-for friendship with Micah could be gone in an instant if he didn’t control himself.
“No, you’re not. Did your daad teach you anything about climbing a ladder?”
Micah’s flush faded as he studied the ground. “To always check if it’s steady first.”
Matt managed a smile. “It’s gut advice. You know what? He taught me that, too, and I still remember.”
“Honest?” Micah’s eyes widened. “Didn’t your daad do that?”
That wasn’t a subject he wanted to bring up with a kid. “He was busy with lots of other things, so your daad taught me alongside of James.” He caught hold of the ladder, shook it, and checked that the feet were firmly planted.
“So what do you think?” he asked, looking at Micah.
Micah gave that grin that looked so much like James. “Seems okay to me.”
“Right. Up you go.”
He stood close to the ladder, just in case, until the boy was settled. Then he stepped up the few feet to his own perch, taking a hammer for Micah.
“Your daad and I already replaced the ones that blew off, so we just have to check these bottom rows to see if they need another nail or two to keep them secure.”
“Best to make sure,” Micah said, obviously trying to sound mature. Hammer at the ready, he picked up a roofing nail.
Matt watched to be sure Micah knew what he was doing first, and then he turned back to work in the other direction. He glanced over, probably more than was necessary, at the boy working.
Micah was very like James in looks, he thought again. Time would tell if he was like James in personality. He’d grow into whoever he was meant to be.
Matt had a momentary wish that he could be around to see that happen, and he dismissed it just as quickly. This place wasn’t for him. At least, not for good. But if his work could help the family, that should be enough.
Enough? He tested the next shingle and found it tight. What would ever be enough to make up for failing James? He glanced at Micah and then looked down at the ground as if to assure himself it wasn’t far away.
In that moment the ground receded, and once again he was on the face of Hawk Cliff. Or was he on the fourth floor of the building he’d been working on with the construction gang? His fingers closed on the edge of the coop roof, holding tightly as the images flooded over him, almost smothering him.
Unable to control himself, he looked down, and vertigo sent the world turning around him. It was Kevin Walker, the boss’s son, slipping from the beam, clinging desperately as Matt reached out—or was it James, in trouble, flown and careless with beer, trying to climb the cliff?
“Are you okay?” Micah’s voice cut through the nightmare around him, and the world stopped spinning.
Matt forced himself to focus on the boy’s face. “Yah, fine. Looks like we’ll have this done in no time, ain’t so?”
“Sure thing.” Micah looked proudly at the shingles he’d given extra nails to. “I have to learn to do everything on the farm, ’cause when I know enough, I’ll take James’s place. That’s my job.”
Not yours. He heard the words in his head, but knew it was his own conscience that said them. The guilt was his. He’d saved Kevin, but he’d lost James, and one life didn’t make up for the other.
* * *
* * *
Anna had intended to go straight to the Burkhardt place when she left school, but some impulse made her stop at home on the way. She couldn’t deny that she felt a certain amount of curiosity about how Matt was working out. Searching her own heart during Council Meeting, she’d promised anew that she would do her best to practice forgiveness. That meant starting with her attitude toward Matt.
Daad and Mammi could do it. Why couldn’t she?
But all the good resolutions in the world weren’t enough to stop the flare of resentment when she pulled into the farmyard and saw Micah and Matt working side by side on the brooder coop.
She stopped at the hitching rail, slid down, and popped into the kitchen to let her mother know where she was going. Then she came back outside, paused for a moment, and walked quickly toward the coop.
She hadn’t bargained for this in all her worries about having Matt actually working here. She’d pictured him with Daad, with Grossdaadi, even talking to Mammi, but never thought about his possible effect on her little brother.
They were talking together as they worked, and she could see the relaxed smile on Micah’s face. Her heart twisted. It should be James working with Micah—James who was showing him how to do any of the hundreds of jobs involved in running the farm. Not Matt.
They hadn’t noticed her approach. With an instinctive need to draw Micah’s attention away from Matt, she called out. “Looks like you’re busy.”
Micah swung toward her, the movement overbalancing him. She gasped, rushing forward, but Matt had seized the back of Micah’s shirt in an instant, steadying him.
She opened her mouth, ready to snatch him off the stepladder and scold him for carelessness, but Matt caught her eye. Ever so slightly he shook his head.
She knew what he was saying—don’t make too much of it, don’t make him afraid or put ideas in his head.
What’s more, he was right. That didn’t make her like him any better.
Micah grinned at Matt. “Yah, I know. Daadi told me. Don’t bounce around when I’m on a ladder, yah?”
“Right.” Matt patted his back. “Better answer your sister.”
He nodded, turning back to Anna but without letting go of the ladder this time. “Look what we did. Daadi said I could help with the roof repair. Me and Matt got it all done.”
“Matt and I,” she corrected automatically. “That’s gut. Are you coming down now?”
After a glance at Matt, he nodded. “We’re done. We just have to clean the tools and put them away. Matt says Daadi taught him to do that every time you work.”
“I’m sure.”
Her glance at Matt was probably unfriendly, but it didn’t seem to faze him. He was gathering up nails and hammers and handing them down to Micah before hopping down himself.
“All finished?” Daad’s voice from behind her startled Anna. “If so, you’d better let Anna drop you at home on her way over to the Burkhardts’ place.”
“Not necessary,” Matt said cheerfully. “I’ll walk.”
“No point in walking when Anna’s going right past your aunt Ella’s house.” Daad’s tone was final.
Anna put a fixed smile on her face and turned back to Matt. “Yah. Whenever you’re ready.”
Matt looked from one to the other of them. “Okay, denke. Just as soon as my partner and I get the tools put away.”
“I’ll wait for you in the buggy.” There was no reason that she could see for standing here watching him acting like part of the family. She started back to the buggy.
Did Daad think he was helping along the process of forgiveness by pushing her together with Matt? It would be like him, but she didn’t think it would help.
Act as if you have forgiven someone, and true forgiveness will follow. The words spoken by the bishop in Sunday’s service came back to her.
She’d thought it a strange concept to begin with. How could pretending help? Wasn’t that just covering up? Or lying?
“What are you thinking about so deeply?” Matt dropped his small toolbox behind the seat, grabbed hold to pull himself up, and then hesitated, looking at her quizzically. “You want me to make up some reason I can’t ride with you?”
“Get up here and don’t be ridiculous.” She wasn’t sure whether she wanted to snarl or laugh. “Besides, what could you say?”
He shrugged, giving her a sideways glance. “Well, I could say that I had to go the other way, but then I’d really have to do it. Or I could say I promised my aunt never to ride alone in a buggy with a young woman. Or that—”
Suppressing the desire to laugh, Anna clucked to the buggy horse and they moved off down the lane. If Matt was trying to charm her, he wouldn’t succeed. But it was the first time she’d seen that straight-faced humor of his since he’d come back, and it had disarmed her.
One of the things that attracted people was the way Matt could say the most outrageous things so seriously that one almost thought they were the truth.
“I see you still have a sense of humor in spite of living among the Englisch for so long.”
“Nothing surprising about that, is there?” That spark of laughter in his eyes made him look younger. “The Englisch do a lot of joking. Well, I don’t know about everybody, but guys working in construction do. Just like any group of Amish guys that work together.”
Construction must have suited him fine. He’d always been good at that sort of thing. Probably if he’d had his way, he’d have apprenticed with one of the Amish builders or carpenters in the area. But his father had been determined that he’d follow his footsteps and become a farrier.
“You enjoyed it.” It wasn’t really a question. She could see the truth of it in his face when he wasn’t busy guarding his thoughts from her.
“Yah, I did. Walker Construction, that’s the name of the outfit. A family business. Phil Walker was a fine man to work for. Honest.”
She nodded, trying to think of something that would keep him talking and make the minutes they were together pass more quickly. “You said it was a family business?”
“That’s so. His nephew works for him part-time, and a couple of men full-time, and there’s his son, Kevin.”
Was it her imagination, or did his voice change when he mentioned the son? She looked at him, trying to convey interest.
“How old is he?”
Matt shrugged. “About eighteen, I guess. Nice kid, but a little . . .” He hesitated, seeming to look for the word. “Well, not serious about the work. His dad was teaching him, since he’d take it over one day, but Kevin was more interested in motorbikes and girls.”
“He’s young, it sounds like.”
“Yah.”
There was still something there, in his voice and in his expression, that was off-kilter. None of her business, of course. She could have done the whole trip in silence, but . . .
She remembered the bishop’s words. If she were to act as if she’d forgiven him, she’d show interest in his troubles, just as she always had.
But they were turning into the drive at the Burkhardt place, and there was no time for more. “Where do you want me to let you off?”
Matt gestured, pointing toward the side door of the farmhouse. “Just drop me there, and I’ll cut across the lower field to Aunt Ella’s.”
Just like he always had when this had been his family’s place. If it bothered him to be here, it didn’t show in his face or his voice.
Anna pulled up at the hitching rail. By the time she got down, Matt was already there, clicking the lead rope onto the harness.
“Denke.” Because she was nervous, she moved quickly to the door, eager to get this interview over with. She rapped.
Silence. No one seemed to be moving anywhere about the farm. She could see the barn and the other outbuildings from here. Empty, it seemed.
“I wonder if they’ve gone somewhere—” But even as she spoke, she saw the curtain move in the kitchen window and glimpsed someone behind it. She knocked again, louder.
Matt reached around her to pound on the door himself. “Miz Burkhardt! It’s Matt King from next door, and the teacher from the school. Can we see you for a minute?”
His raised voice must have reached whoever was in the kitchen, but there was no answering sound. She looked at Matt, seeing him as baffled as she was. “What . . .”
At that instant there was a crash and a tinkle of broken glass. And then a woman screamed, loud and piercing and terrifying.
CHAPTER FIVE
Anna froze, unable to move for a moment. Even before her mind started working, she and Matt were both pounding on the door.
“Mrs. Burkhardt . . . Elizabeth . . . are you all right? Was ist letz? What’s wrong?”
No sound answered her cry. Anna exchanged looks with Matt, realizing that he was just as baffled as she was. “Elizabeth, it’s Anna Stoltzfus, the children’s teacher. Please open the door.”
She glanced at Matt again. “Do you think your aunt could do anything? She probably knows them better than anyone.”
“Maybe.” He was frowning. “You go. I’d best stay here.”
“I’m capable of dealing with this. If she’s hurt, she’d probably rather have a woman here.”
“And what if it’s more than that? I don’t want you—”
The door swung open so abruptly that it must have shocked Matt into silence. Carl Burkhardt stood there, glowering at them, blocking the way in.
Matt went back a step, drawing Anna with him.
Anna had seen Burkhardt at worship from a distance, but she hadn’t realized how big he was. He filled the doorway with his height and breadth, his heavy shoulders hunched forward.
She knew, suddenly, whom he reminded her of. Matt’s father, with his powerful arms and lowering brow. Did Matt see that, too? She felt as if she couldn’t look away from the man, glaring as he was.
“Well? What do you want?”
Anna found her voice. “I’m Teacher Anna, from the school. I hoped to talk to you and your wife about the kinder.”
Before she could go on, Burkhardt was shaking his head. “Not a good time. Some other day.”
She had the feeling that he regretted every word he had to spend on them, as if reluctant to say anything at all.
“We can set up another time,” she said, endeavoring to sound as if this were any ordinary conversation with a parent. “But we heard a crash and a cry. If your wife is hurt, I’d be glad to come in and tend to her. Or Ella King, from next door, would come if you’d rather.”
“Yah.” Matt found his tongue. “My aunt would be glad to be of help.”
Burkhardt’s jaw moved, as if he fought with the words he wanted to say. Maybe guessing they weren’t going to go away easily, he seemed to give in. “Wait here,” he growled, and he shut the door in their faces.
Anna looked at Matt, and he shrugged, lifting his hands in a helpless gesture. “If he doesn’t want to let us in, there’s nothing we can do.”
“But what if she’s hurt? What if she needs help?” She murmured the words, not wanting anyone in the house to hear.
“Listen.” Matt gestured her to silence, nodding at the window of the kitchen. There was a murmur of voices there. And then once a distinct word.
“No.”
It was Elizabeth Burkhardt’s voice, no doubt about that. A wave of helplessness swept over Anna. Maybe Matt was right. If he didn’t want to let them in and she didn’t want their help, they could do nothing.
Heavy footsteps sounded, and then the door opened. Burkhardt made a grimace that might have been intended for a smile.
“Denke. She’s fine. Just dropped a pitcher that was her mother’s. Upsetting, that’s all.”
He started to close the door again, and Anna held out her hand, not content to leave it at that, but not seeing any other choice.
“Please tell her that I’ll hope to see her at the schoolhouse after school tomorrow. We can have a nice chat.”
Burkhardt made a sound that might have been affirmative. Then the door shut with a final thud. It was unlikely that he’d open it again no matter what they might say.
She stood looking at the door, not satisfied but not knowing what else to do. Matt tugged at her arm.
“Komm. We’ll go over to Aunt Ella’s and talk to her about it. She might have an idea.”
Reluctantly, she nodded. There seemed no other possibility.
They were both silent as she turned the buggy, went back to the road, and pulled in at Ella King’s house. By the time they had tied up the buggy horse, Ella was gesturing at them to come in.
Anna was glad to enter Ella’s toasty kitchen. The day had turned chilly and damp after the warm sunshine that had brightened the scholars’ recess. Now she was happy to move closer to the stove.
“I saw you from the window,” Ella said, seizing the coffeepot automatically. “What was going on over there?” She was eyeing Anna with a curiosity that wasn’t very well hidden. She probably couldn’t figure out why Anna was willingly spending time with her great-nephew.
It wasn’t willing, Anna protested in her thoughts. It just happened.
Matt pushed a mug of coffee over to Anna and then added the sugar to it without asking. She thought of protesting, but it seemed foolish. When you’d grown up as close with someone as her and Matt, of course you knew the normal little details about the other. That didn’t mean you were friends.
