Forget Me Knot (PoisonVerse #2), page 28
Viper
I showered and dressed, then found myself stuck.
I stared at myself in the mirror. I was still tired of the man staring back at me. Golden piercings lined my ears, tattoos scattered to my knuckles. Remnants of my past life. That was all I was made of. Fragments of a life that no longer existed.
Idiot rich kid.
Shoved your way into their pack.
Nothing to offer.
And what if I complicated things with Onyx?
She was falling for them.
Ice had… He’d begged me. And selfishly, I’d clung to the first flicker of hope I’d felt in years.
Now I might have stolen away another thing from her.
I straightened, fist clapping my palm as I took a breath. They were out there. I couldn’t avoid them forever.
Ice
Viper came out wearing a pair of Malakai’s baggy pants and an oversized shirt. They were about the same height, though he was more slender. I couldn’t stop staring at him. He did kind of look like a model, with dark brows, and the chiselled lines of his face were pronounced. He was wearing a golden necklace that I’d wiped blood from back in the hospital. He had pale skin and the tattoos that wove around his arms and down to his knuckles suited him. I was kind of a sucker for tattoos, not that I’d ever admit that to Arsenal.
Well… Maybe now I could?
I was anxious for when Viper came out, desperate for this to work. I’d tried to help King with the food, but he’d shooed me away.
I didn’t have to worry about King, but Malakai was tense as Viper entered. Viper’s eyes fell on the table of food that King had set out. He palmed the back of his neck, an awkward look on his face. He was hungry, clearly.
King—who had his head in the fridge—noticed Viper. He shut it quickly.
“Hey…” He held out his hand. Viper took it. “King. Thought, uh… Thought you might be hungry. Didn’t know what you’d like…”
Viper nodded, eyes darting to the table again as he took a seat.
Should I go and sit next to him? Would it make him feel less anxious? Or more? He didn’t know me. Not really. I thought I could try.
I slipped from my seat, as he gathered some of the food onto his plate, and took the seat beside him. I felt his anxiety through the bond wane as his eyes darted to me for just a moment.
“You probably eat way better stuff where you come from,” King said. “We can get some more stuff in.”
Viper snorted. “I uh, pretty much live off of Pop-Tarts and noodles.”
“Oh.” King visibly relaxed, as if all his worries about Viper had just been wiped away in that one statement. He grabbed his own plate and began filling it up.
Malakai still hadn’t said anything. Nor did he take anything to eat.
THIRTY-SEVEN
Arsenal
The first night with Onyx had been quiet.
We’d arrived in a hotel room and both crashed, then slept well into noon. I hadn’t realised how tired I was until my head hit the pillow. The same, apparently, went for her.
She looked more relaxed than she had before today, and I thought maybe this was the right choice. She needed space—she’d been driving herself crazy checking in on Ice. To be honest, I might have been, too.
I let Onyx pick what we did for the day, so we spent the next few hours wandering around Pineford Mall on the Westside, which I’d never previously been to.
It was strange to be walking about a mall with a woman like Onyx. Today she was wearing a beige jacket with a low cut silken top and high-waisted leggings that hugged her hips beautifully. I didn’t feel like I looked right with her, hearing the click of her heels as she walked at my side. My eyes kept catching on her beautiful mane of chocolate hair that was down still. She’d worn it down since the night she’d been with Mal in that lingerie.
I halted that thought. My dignity couldn’t afford to think about that in public.
We were shopping for… fun? I thought, anyway. Which—if you’d told me ahead of time—would have seemed extremely boring, but it wasn’t. Not that I’d admit that to any of my brothers. I had to admit it to Onyx, though, when she caught me snapping a picture of a superhero mug.
“For Ice,” I said, quickly. If he thought he could hide the fact he was mug-obsessed, he was sorely wrong.
I could sense her energy change when we entered the home decor section of the store we were in. Yup, there were definitely stars in her eyes as she looked around.
“You like interior design?”
“Not usually,” she said. “But think what the garage could be like.”
I grunted. Not with those price tags, it couldn’t. Except… we did just bond a billionaire. I slapped the thought away.
“Well, I mean…” She sounded tentative. “It’s your place. Obviously. But it’s such a big space…”
I side-eyed her stifled excitement
“Probably needs an update,” I said. “What would you suggest?”
She chewed on her lip anxiously and it took everything in my self-control not to take her chin and kiss her right there.
I blinked the thought away, a little taken aback.
“Well… You’re going to need another room for Viper. It does look like there was another floor. We could put in a loft…” She trailed off and I saw the flush creep up her neck. “You guys could, I mean.”
“Who would we put in charge of that?” I chuckled.
“Ice.”
“He’s hopeless. He’s going to need a little help.”
“I’m sure Malakai or King could—”
“Show me right now,” I said. “You know, so I can impress him. What would you do to the place?”
She still hugged her bag close, but there was a guilty flash in her eyes as she glanced back at the sea of beds, and desks, and couches scattered across the shop around us.
“Okay, well…”
Once she got started, she couldn’t seem to stop. She even fumbled in her handbag to get out a notepad and pen so she could sketch out her idea for me.
We chose a display to settle on, and I put my feet up on the ottoman as we lounged back on an abhorrent couch with cow-print pattern.
“What are those?” I asked, peering at what she had just penned in.
“You need doors on your bedrooms.”
“We do not,” I scoffed.
At one point, an employee headed our way as if to tell us to get out, but she took one look at my tattoos and took a sharp left turn. I snorted, returning my attention to Onyx.
“Lot of space up in that loft,” I noted, peering at her design. “Could put a couple extra rooms in there,” I pointed out.
“Oh. Well, I was actually thinking Ice deserves a big nest, right?”
“Sure.” I lowered my hand and brushed hers. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the shift of her throat as she swallowed. “But it’s huge,” I went on. “Could probably fit another room and a big nest. Or a double nest.”
I was suddenly very hot.
She froze.
Maybe I hadn’t eased her in enough to drop that. Slowly, she drew her hand away, sliding her touch from mine. When I darted a glance at her, her expression was tense. I could swear, for a moment, there was a glassy shine in her sapphire eyes.
Then she blinked and it was gone. “I think that couch over there is perfect for Ice. Big enough for a pack to spend time in his room—and we’ll have to see if they have any pack beds here. Those will be worth checking out.”
I nodded, eyes still fixed on her drawing. “It looks great,” I forced out. “I’ll uh… have to tell Viper there was actually a pack buy in if I want to afford it.”
Her laugh sounded genuine and delighted.
“Shall we head back to the hotel?” I asked.
“We could. Did you want to eat first? We could do a restaurant. Or would you prefer room service?”
“Definitely room service.” I still didn’t feel completely recovered if I was being honest, and this mall was bustling with people.
We returned to the grand hotel. Today, a bit more rested, I was paying attention to it. It looked and felt far too high end for me. The room was crazy, with round beds and grand red curtains that could be pulled around them. The whole room was creams and reds, with dozens of pillows. Perhaps that’s why she’d chosen this place.
She sat on the edge of the bed, a faraway look on her face as she set her handbag down.
“You were trying to… make me a part of the planning,” she said quietly.
I leaned against the wall, folding my arms. “Yes.”
There was no point in denying it.
“You need to let me go.” Her brilliant, sapphire blue eyes found mine, and she looked so sure and so broken.
“And then what happens? He comes for you one day and there’s no one there to stop him?”
“I can find another pack. Be up front—”
“You’re lying, Onyx. You won’t take this to anyone else’s doorstep and we both know it.”
“I never should have brought it to yours—”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” The words came from my lips before I had thought them through.
But it was the truth. No matter what had gone wrong, no matter the change and upheaval, she was one thing I would never change.
“But they’re not going to,” she whispered.
“What?”
“Whoever they are, they won’t… do anything. They won’t take the next step.” Her fingers ran wildly through her hair. “They won't hurt me, or… take me, or tell me what they want. They’re in my house, in my head, and I feel like it’s never going to end! I have no control and I’m stuck! I can’t get close to anyone. I can’t move. Sometimes it feels like that’s what they want.”
I stared at her, brows furrowed. “What if… it is?”
“Is what?”
“What if that is all they want?” I asked.
“To frighten away anyone I could possibly love?”
For a moment, I got tripped up over that. Love? Onyx thought she could love us?
I shook it away, focusing on what she was saying. “They’ve never done anything else. They could have, a thousand times they could have hurt you. What was that message they left in your apartment the first time?” I wracked my brain.
“You will never escape me,” she whispered.
“We thought they were making a claim. What if they weren’t? What if they never intend to come. What if they’re just trying to keep you alone?”
“Like… vengeance?”
I nodded, mind still working a million miles an hour. “It would explain why they’ve never touched you. Even when they were in your house.”
“But who…? Why would they?”
I winced. “Could it be… someone from the pack you rejected?” If the pack had shattered, if there were deaths… “You saw what happened to Viper.” I could feel it through the bond even now. “That pack was broken, and whatever did it was enough to drive him to that. What if Viper got off easy compared to the others?”
Onyx’s face was ashen, a million unspoken words hanging in the air between us. There were horror stories of packs left behind by duchesses like Onyx. Infighting could become violent and deaths could follow. “But I don’t remember…”
I was pulling out my phone, sending a text to the pack. Viper wasn’t in it yet.
Me: We need to know what happened to Viper’s pack if we’re going to figure this out.
When I looked back up at her, she looked so lost. “I took away their pack,” she whispered. “And now…” She didn’t finish. She didn’t have to.
Now they wanted to take away hers.
It fit.
It fit for the last message too. We’d claimed Viper. If I was right and he tied into this just like Onyx did, this guy would be just as attached to Viper.
“Okay. So what happens when they figure out—” I cut off, taking a breath, running my fingers through my hair.
“What?” She was looking at me sharply.
Shit.
I sat down on the bed, staring at her, wondering if I should say what just went through my head. But she had to know by now. “What happens when they realise they can’t scare us away?”
Her lips parted for a moment, and then she closed her mouth. Ever so slightly, she shook her head. “That’s not how this goes.”
I let out a breath of a laugh. “You can’t take back the last week.”
“You have everything.” Her voice shook. “Ice is better. You have another packmate to take care of. You don’t need—”
“Need?” I demanded. “That’s not what this is about.”
“Then undo any magic you’ve got tangled on in your head and make it about that.”
“I can’t. None of us can. It’s not how we’re wired and you know that.”
“Then how are you wired?” she asked.
“We don’t leave anyone behind.”
“I’m not pack.”
I was on my feet before I could catch myself. “You are fucking pack, Onyx. As much as Ice, or King, or Mal, or Viper.”
She stared up at me, trembling fingers fumbling for her handbag again. “I’ve…” She swallowed, composing herself as she stood, and the full duchess returned to her eyes. “I’ve known you for a week,” she said coldly. “This is hormones—”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.”
“You are getting too attached. Soon I won’t be able to tell you from this stalker—”
She cut off at the snarl on my face as I challenged that. “Say it then. Say we mean nothing to you.”
She stared up at me, chest heaving, sapphire eyes furious as I challenged her.
“Tell me you don’t want us, and I’m gone. Right now.” Why had I said that? Was I willing to follow through? I’d meant to push her, not give her an ultimatum, but unexpected anger stirred in me at the words she’d so brazenly spoken.
After everything.
She drew herself up. “This wasn’t a mutual arrangement, Arsenal. I didn’t want—”
“Say you don’t want us.”
Her eyes darted between mine. “I put Ice in danger.”
She was baiting me. And sure, there was a faint rustle of panic at the words she’d just spoken, but not nearly as much at the idea of leaving her in this place alone at the mercy of this stalker.
“We will protect you both,” I snarled.
She was avoiding it. I needed to know the truth. Silence fell between us as she gathered herself again.
“I don’t want you.” Her teeth were gritted. “Not you. Not King, or Malakai, or Ice.”
The words stung, catching me off guard.
“So leave!” There was fury in her eyes as she shoved me a step back. “Get out.”
“You’d rather be alone?”
“Yes.” But the word caught in her throat, shattering on the way up. She took a steadying breath, shifting to the side just slightly as if she thought she had to defend herself from me. She pointed at the door. “Yes.” This time, it was crisp and cutting.
Onyx
“Okay. Then…” Arsenal’s voice was broken. “I’ll go.”
I nodded, shock spiking my system. I wanted it from him. Needed it.
But I hadn’t expected it.
I couldn’t move as he took a step toward me.
“I’ll go,” he repeated.
I nodded, eyes darting between his as his movement violated that statement.
He cupped my cheeks, tilting my head up to look at him. “But just tell me once, in your own words, that you’d rather be alone.”
My chest felt too tight, my voice barely a whisper. “I already did.”
“Say it for me, and you won’t hear from us ever again.”
I had to.
This person stalking me, they’d cost me over and over again. But never had they cost me more than they were right now.
And knowing that changed nothing. I was so… angry. Angry that this was taken from me, more so because now I’d had a taste of what it might be like not to be alone.
“I…” My heart felt like it would shatter my rib cage and my throat was closing up. “I…”
A thousand moments from my life before shattered the buzzing anxiety of my mind. Every minute stretching with a glass of wine in my hand, the room slowly getting darker around me as night fell.
Silence.
True silence that the TV or radio couldn’t shatter. Not really. A home that could never be a home, for the fear I felt every time I entered.
My nest… I shut my eyes, fighting the tremors, trying not to think of Ice right now, in the bundle of wool and fairy lights with Viper. Taking the step I was too scared to take.
“I would rather…” I had to steady my voice. My lip trembled and I shut my eyes, but it was too late to stop the hot tears that leaked down my cheeks.
I felt Arsenal press his forehead to mine.
It was enough to break me, my fingers closing around his wrists as I shook.
“We don’t leave anyone behind,” he whispered softly, but with resoluteness.
Those words were destruction as much as they were salvation. I could feel the chaos they left in their wake, burning down expectations, and plans, and everything I’d thought my life was.
Or would ever be.
I don’t know how it happened, but in the next moment he’d drawn me against him and I was trembling in his arms, tears flooding my cheeks at last.
“What are we going to do?”
“I don’t know. But we’ll do it together.”
Arsenal
I held her in my arms, heart pounding and heavy in my chest.
For a moment, I’d been afraid she was telling the truth: that she didn’t want us.
But it wasn’t the truth. And I wanted her as much as she wanted us.
At last, she looked up at me with glowing, sapphire eyes, and there was hope in them. Real hope like I’d never seen in her before.
Then her fingers curled around my shirt, and the tone shifted in a flash.
