Her Improper Desire, page 19
Ilyas had seen the truth in her eyes, and everything between them must come to an end because of it.
Chapter Eight
The Crown Prince watched in contemplative silence as his brother stepped out of the conference room for the third time in the past five minutes, only to return to his seat a mere few seconds later.
Ilyas was never restless. The other man might be known for being hotheaded and impatient, but his younger brother was also infamous for having nerves of steel. It was why Ilyas had been in charge of negotiating with spies, rebels, and mercenaries in Huzna's civil war, and in all those years of strife and violence, not once had Saif seen his brother appear on edge...the way he was now.
When Ilyas rose to his feet yet again, Saif shook his head and asked finally, "What happened? Has one of our companies gone bankrupt?"
Ilyas looked stung at the question. "No, of course not."
"Then what exactly is eating you?" Saif demanded.
The door opened before Ilyas could speak, and Saif had his answer when he saw his brother stiffen at the sight of their cousin stride in while speaking amiably with Ilyas' secretary.
Ah.
Did this mean Ilyas had finally figured out his feelings?
Ilyas couldn't stop staring at Ember. She looked too fucking hot right now, with her usual ugly clothes replaced by a scoop-necked dress that hugged every curve of her body.
And her tits, dear God...
They were no longer made to look flat like before, but had she done it because of what he said...or because she was currently smiling up at Adam like she was about to change her name from Ember to Ever?
The thought had him seeing red even though he knew he had no fucking right to be jealous. You asked for this, Ilyas Al-Masri. You left her. And now she's with someone else.
In the meantime, the Crown Prince was clasping his cousin's arms in a gesture of greeting. "Thank you for coming at short notice."
"Ember here was very persuasive." Adam had only meant this as a joke but was surprised to see Ilyas' jaw clench at his words.
Saif glanced to see if Ember had noticed his brother's reaction, but the girl's expression remained polite and unreadable, and that could only mean one thing.
His brother had fucked up, and Ilyas would soon have to grovel.
Adam shook hands with Ilyas, and Saif saw his cousin raise a brow at the marked reserve in his brother's demeanor.
The Crown Prince waited until Ilyas had turned his back before catching his cousin's gaze, and Adam went from puzzled to amused when Saif inclined his head tellingly in Ember's direction. So that was why Ilyas was suddenly treating him more like enemy than kin. He would never have guessed that his cousin could be this possessive about a woman, but if that were the case—-
A row of chairs positioned at the back of the room was typically reserved for staff use, but just as Ember was about to take one of them, Adam asked if she could take a seat next to him instead.
"Oh, um—-"
"It's fine, Ember," Saif said. "You've been working on this program from day one. We're certain to need your input sooner or later."
Adam nearly smirked. Saif apparently knew what game Adam had been playing, and the Crown Prince appeared just as determined to force his brother in revealing his hand.
Ilyas' fists clenched as he saw Ember thank Adam with a smile when the other man insisted on assisting her to her seat.
He knew something like this would happen sooner or later, but what he hadn't expected was how much it would fucking kill him just to see his secretary - his Ember, dammit - smile at another man.
"I was informed about the last-minute change in the program's schedule," Saif said briskly, "and I wanted to take this opportunity to personally thank you. I'm sure it wasn't easy for you to accommodate the new dates."
"It's always an honor to be of service to our kingdom."
"How very noble of you," Saif said dryly.
Adam's lips twitched. "Are you questioning my loyalty to the crown?"
Ember's bemused gaze flicked back and forth between the two men. Was something going on here?
"The whole palace knows how difficult you are to nail down for anything that requires you to acknowledge your ties to the royal family." Saif cocked his head in Ember's direction, saying rather silkily, "Ilyas' secretary seems to be the only one who succeeded where everyone has failed."
Ember shot up in her seat. Wait a minute. Was Saif somehow thinking that—-
Adam suddenly leaned close, and Ember nearly fell out of her chair when she saw the heat in his lush green eyes.
What was happening?
"I finally understand what you are getting at, Your Highness," Adam murmured. "And you are indeed correct. Ember was very persuasive—-"
Ember's jaw dropped.
"—-in a way that I find quite irresistible."
Adam reached to touch her cheek, and Ember recovered from her shock just in time to quickly avoid having his fingers brush against her skin.
Ember made a face at Ilyas' cousin. "Stop it."
Adam's gaze gleamed. "As you wish...mon bébé."
The Crown Prince hid a smirk at the way Ilyas now looked fit to kill. All in good time now, Saif thought.
The rest of the meeting proceeded smoothly, and Ember was able to assiduously take notes while working just as hard at keeping a lid on her feelings.
Thank you, demon prince.
It was all because of his royal bosshole ways that Ember had become exceptionally good at multitasking, and those skills were put further to the test the moment she sensed Ilyas staring at her from across the table.
The sheikh had smashed her heart to pieces when she woke up alone in his bed yesterday...and rejected every one of her fifteen calls. She had been frantic at first, thinking that something had happened to him. But when she had asked his bodyguards about him, and they had told her that he had checked in at another hotel—-
Ember's fingers curled hard around her pen. She had sobbed her heart out last night, and just seeing him now nearly had her breaking down. She wished she could make herself hate him for leaving her, but she didn't.
She loved him still, and she always would...since she also knew exactly why he had left her.
It was only a few months ago when she had accompanied the demon prince in paying his respects to his fallen comrades, and Ilyas had displayed a rare willingness to talk about his past.
'I entrusted my best men to my lieutenant,' the sheikh had told her grimly. 'He was my childhood friend. And he was a good man. But because he had trusted the wrong woman with his secrets, all of them had ended up murdered in their own beds.'
Ember had tried to tell him that those men's deaths were not his fault, but Ilyas had been immovable in his guilt. The sheikh would always hold himself accountable for their murders, and Ember knew it was also why Ilyas believed he didn't have the privilege of trusting another woman...even if that woman was her.
So what now, Ember Hallman?
If being with her would make the past weigh heavier on the demon prince's shoulders, Ember didn't think she had it in her to stay. She had hoped she could one day prove to him that she wasn't the wrong woman for him, but what if that wasn't possible?
Ember reached for her glass and took a quick sip of water in a futile attempt to distract herself from the way her heart was aching so painfully behind her chest.
"You missed something," Adam said huskily.
The words startled her into looking up, and just as Adam bent forward, Ember saw Ilyas in the corner of her eye—-
Oh no.
Tears stung her eyes at the way the demon prince whitened upon seeing Adam wipe a bead of water off the corner of her lip, and the expression on Ilyas' face was still in her mind when the meeting finally came to an end.
I have to try one last time.
I have to.
Ember jumped to her feet and blocked the demon prince from leaving. "Ilyas?" It was Ember's first time to address him by his name, and she pretended not to notice how this had Saif and Adam turn to her direction as well.
She kept her gaze pinned on Ilyas, and she forced herself to continue even when his gorgeous features remained seemingly carved in ice. "May I talk to you in private?"
Ilyas looked as if he planned to refuse her, and her fingers dug painfully into her palms. "Please." It hurt to beg, but she would do anything and everything for this one last chance to fight for him. For them. "Please, Ilyas."
But the sheikh's handsome face remained unyielding. "There is no need—-"
"Ilyas." The Crown Prince's sharp tone had Ilyas snapping his mouth shut. "Adam and I will be taking our leave, and you will give Ember the courtesy of hearing her out."
Ilyas' expression turned grim. "As you command, Your Highness."
Adam looked at Ember. "You will be alright?"
Ilyas shot a look of violence at his cousin. "Are you thinking I'll hurt her?"
Adam stared back at him unsmilingly. "Don't you see that she's already hurting because of you?"
Chapter Nine
Ilyas sucked his breath when he realized that Adam was right, and he had just been so fucking blind with his own pain that he hadn't noticed Ember was hurting as well.
The two other men slipped out of the room quietly, and it was now just the two of them.
"I'm sorry," he said tautly.
"That's not what I want to hear," Ember answered tremulously.
Ilyas shoved his hands into his pockets. "There's nothing else for me to say but that."
"Then let me speak."
Ilyas' chest tightened.
"I love you."
Fuck.
Ilyas stared at his secretary in disbelief. She...loved him?
"I have other things to say," Ember said with a teary smile, "but those three words are the most important."
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
She loved him.
Ember loved him.
"Ilyas?"
The quaver in her voice nearly killed him. "Don't do this to yourself," he said hollowly. "It's never going to work between us—-"
"I'll b-beg if—-"
"Goddammit, Ember!"
He saw her flinch, and even though he wanted to kill himself for it, Ilyas knew he had no goddamn choice.
"Just fucking listen to me for once. I can't be what you want me to be so just forget about me—-"
"Why?" Ember choked out. "Why can't you be what I want you to be?"
"Because I don't fucking love you back—-"
"Don't you?"
"No," he forced himself to lie. "I don't."
Ember took a clumsy step towards him, and it took Ilyas everything to stand his ground.
"I know you don't want to risk making the same mistake that your friend did. I know you're terrified that I'll betray you like he was betrayed—-"
How the hell did she fucking know all of these things?
"I know you don't think you can trust me," his secretary whispered, "but you can."
Ember took another step towards him, and this time Ilyas was unable to stop himself from stepping back.
"Your friend loved a woman who didn't love him back—-"
"Shut up."
"But I'm different," Ember forced herself to go on.
"Enough, damn you—-"
"We're different—-"
"No, damn you. You're not fucking different—-" Ilyas broke off when he saw the way his words had made Ember lose all color.
"Do you really believe I'm capable of betraying you? Or is it b-because—-"
Ilyas sucked his breath at the way Ember's voice suddenly broke. "Ember—-"
"Oh God."
And then it was Ember now who was taking a step back from him.
"It's because of where I c-came from, isn't it? Because I grew up the way I did, you t-think it's possible that I might end up being b-blinded by greed or ambition—-"
Ilyas could feel himself turning ashen at her words. She had once confided to him that her greatest insecurity was how she would never fit in his world, and that people would laugh at him behind her back for employing someone like her: a nobody from Nowheresville who didn't even have a four-year degree to her name.
I don't really care about what people think of me, she had told him, but I don't think I'll be able to bear it if people were to laugh at you.
He remembered telling her that he didn't give a fuck about other people either, but his secretary had only shaken her head with a smile that didn't reach her eyes.
'You might not, but I do. And if that day ever comes, I'm going to disappear just like this—-'
Ember had snapped her fingers to illustrate how she could vanish from his life in a blink, and it was this memory that made him realize—-
God, no.
He knew right away that he had made the biggest fucking mistake in his life.
I love her.
He had probably been in love with her from the very start, and that was why what she said was true.
She was different. They were different, and it was all because what they had was real.
There was no way he could ever fucking live without her, and he had to win her back before it was too late.
Ilyas reached for her, but Ember jumped back as if his touch could now break her.
And maybe...he already had.
He remembered Adam's words—-
Don't you see that she's already hurting because of you?
The words slashed at him, and desperation made him barely able to think straight. "Ember—-"
But she was already running out of the room, and seeing her leave was like a punch to his guts.
"Wait!"
He caught her in moments, and Ember struck the side of his face as he forced her to face him.
"Let me go!"
"I'm sorry," he said hoarsely. "You were right. You were absolutely right. I was terrified that I'd make the same mistake and cause harm to the people I care most about. But you were right. I should've known you were different. We're different—-"
"Stop it!" Tears were running down her face, and each drop was like a fucking stab to his heart. "I don't need you to lie just because you feel guilty for hurting me—-"
"I'm saying these things because I love you," Ilyas said fiercely.
"Just let me go—-"
Ilyas cupped her face. "I love you, Ember. I love you."
"Please—-"
God.
Just minutes ago, she had been begging him to let her stay, but now she was begging him to let her go.
Was he really too fucking late?
"I love you," Ilyas said rawly. "And I'm the one who's begging you now to give me a chance."
But Ember only looked at him as if it was truly over between them.
"Please. Just please fucking stay. I love you, Ember. I love you. You're the air I breathe—-"
Ember managed to catch him off guard by suddenly shoving him away, and Ilyas whitened as she stumbled back.
Was he truly too late?
"I never—-"
Ilyas swallowed hard. "Please—-"
"I n-never thought you could say something so cheesy."
And then she was laughing and crying at the same time, and Ilyas didn't know whether to thank or curse the heavens upon realizing that his damn little chick had been leading him all along.
"Damn you."
But he was hauling her close as he said it, and this time she was sobbing for real as her arms wrapped around his neck.
He pressed his lips to the top of her head, still barely able to breathe because he knew there still had been a point that he had almost lost her for good. "I love you."
More tears tracked down her cheeks.
"I love you," she said with a wobbly smile. "I've loved you from the first day I met you, but..."
Ilyas stiffened. "But what?"
"Can I ask you for something?"
"Of course—-"
"Can you say it again?"
Ilyas frowned. "Say what?"
"That I'm the air you breathe," she said with an impish smile. "I wasn't ready earlier, but I am now, and I'd like to record you saying—-"
His mouth swooped down to shut her up with a kiss, and as she moaned against his lips, it occurred to Ilyas that even with all that had happened between them, this was actually their first kiss...and it was perfect.
Epilogue
Ember carefully placed Lucky in his cozy little bed, which was now a custom-designed creation since Ilyas believed in buying only the best things in life for their "firstborn".
Hehehe.
She knew she was acting like an idiot again, but every time she remembered the demon prince actually using that very word when referring to their cute little kitty—-
Hehehe.
He said it every time actually, and Ember tried not to laugh out loud when she remembered the way Ilyas' brothers had reacted upon hearing it for the first time.
'What did you say?' Rashad had sputtered.
'You have a child?' Saif had growled out.
'Fuck! Who's the mother?' Khadem had demanded.
'Ember, of course.' And Ilyas had then showed them their little kitty. 'Say hi to your uncles, Lucky.'
As Lucky obediently meowed while sleepily rubbing his eyes, the other Huznan princes had stared at Ilyas like he had completely lost his mind, but her royal bosshole hadn't given a fuck.
Hehehe.
Ember was still feeling secretly giddy at how adorable the sheikh could be even after leaving their "firstborn" to his cat nanny, but all of her good vibes disappeared as soon as she entered the ballroom.
Holy shit!
Tonight was yet another official engagement in which hundreds of guests were invited (and afterwards made to sign an NDA prior to entering the ballroom), and as always, the demon prince had women circled around him like a pack of she-wolves, and he appeared this close to losing his temper.
Ember barely made it in time, and she was able to plant herself in front of the sheikh just as he was about to open his mouth and say something that was likely ungentlemanly, undiplomatic, and everything un- that wouldn't do their kingdom's bid for a "modern" and "civilized" image any good.
