Wild Angel, page 8
Sydney felt tears form in the corners of her eyes, though she tried to hold them back. Gran was a kind woman, but she didn’t hand out a lot of compliments, nor did she talk about her feelings much. She showed her love for Chas and Julian, and by extension, Sydney, through her actions…and food. So her words felt like a precious gift to Sydney. Something she’d never forget.
Gran didn’t wait for her to respond. Instead, she released Sydney, gave her a quick wink and left. Sydney walked back to the counter, claiming the seat Gran had just vacated. Pulling the letter out of her pocket, Sydney unfolded the single sheet of paper, amazed how so few words could change so much in her life.
It simply said, Gran, I’m finished with the Marines. It’s time for me to take Uncle Julian up on that offer of a job. I’ll be home in a couple of weeks to stay. Warn Sydney. Much love and see you soon, Chas.
Warn Sydney. What the hell was that supposed to mean?
Sydney laughed and rolled her eyes. Who knew with Chas? They’d gone from rough-and-tumble friends—climbing trees, swimming in the river, and building forts in her backyard—to very brief childhood sweethearts. Chas had been her date to the senior prom when both of them found themselves faced with that option or going stag. Neither of them had dated much in high school. Chas worked after school and during the summer at his uncle Julian’s construction company, while Sydney spent a great deal of time working in the family restaurant, Sparks Barbeque.
Between work and school, the two of them typically chose to spend their down time simply hanging out watching TV or eating cheeseburgers at the local diner with a handful of Sydney’s cousins—she had a gazillion—and a few other friends.
Then prom had come along. Sydney suspected Chas had issued his invitation because Gran had either threatened or bribed him. He’d been content to skip the whole affair. Dancing wasn’t Chas’ thing. Hell, it wasn’t hers either, but she’d still desperately wanted to go to the prom. She’d been relieved when Chas asked her because she hadn’t liked the idea of showing up alone.
Sydney had actually laughed and called him James Bond, hoping to dispel some of the nervousness she’d felt when he’d shown up at her house in his uncle’s fancy sports car and dressed in a tuxedo. She’d expected him to punch her in the arm and tell her to shut up for teasing him, but instead he’d taken one look at her and said, “You’re beautiful.” His tone had been the perfect blend of awe and astonishment. Friend Sydney had wanted to call him to task for acting so freaking surprised, but the teenaged girl who’d never had a boyfriend, never had a boy tell her she was pretty, was too touched to respond.
“You look great too,” she’d said at last, hating how lame her compliment seemed when compared to his, and sorry she had laughed when she’d first seen him. The truth was he had looked incredibly hot in his tuxedo.
Then the night had gone the complete opposite of how Sydney had expected. She’d been perfectly prepared for them to find their usual crowd of friends and fast dance in a pack all night, while taking bathroom or water breaks during the slow songs. Chas clearly had different plans. He’d drawn them away from the others, his focus solely on her. It almost felt as if he couldn’t take his eyes off her. It was a heady, wonderful feeling.
When a slow song played, he pulled her into his arms and for the first time, Sydney felt that spark she’d heard other girls allude to and she was overcome with unfamiliar feelings of desire and need. She wanted him…wanted Chas.
She’d never understood what the fuss was about, never worried or wondered much about sex. Sometimes she feared that part of her was broken. Sydney had always been too practical to fall for a bunch of romantic bullshit and she was more tomboy than girly.
Chas had proven to her that she was just as capable of feeling lust as the next horny teenager. When his lips brushed her cheek, all bets were off.
They’d spent the rest of the evening sneaking seductive touches, the heat building steadily between them until midnight. They’d planned to go out for a midnight breakfast with some friends. Instead, Chas took her to a secluded spot by the lake. It was the same place they’d come to a million times as kids, swimming and diving off the rocks and dunking each other during the lazy days of summer that seemed endless and too brief all at the same time.
He grabbed a blanket from the trunk of the car, took her hand and led her down to the small, sandy cove. The place was deserted, and for a moment, Sydney could imagine they were the only two people on the planet.
He laid the blanket out and then reached for her. Sydney walked into his arms as if she belonged there, as if she’d spent a lifetime in his embrace. Neither of them spoke. She knew why they were here. It was where she wanted to be.
Chas kissed her then. Their first true kiss. His lips touched hers without hesitation. She marveled at his confidence. She knew all about Chas’ experience with kissing and other sexual things. They were best friends. They had no secrets from each other.
His knowledge was only slightly less limited than hers. He was a virgin too. Most guys wouldn’t have admitted to such a thing, but Chas didn’t seem to care. He’d always claimed there weren’t any girls in Maris, Texas, he wanted to be with and none of the other boys in their group ever gave him shit for it as far as Sydney knew. Who would? There was no one of their acquaintance who was willing to risk Chas’ wrath. He was huge and could kick all of their asses…at the same time.
Besides, Chas had always sort of been wise beyond his years. He didn’t fall victim to peer pressure or the typical teenage bullying tactics that bothered so many other kids in school. He knew who he was and what he wanted from life and everyone understood it.
The kiss went on for what had felt like ages to Sydney at the time. However, when she looked back, she cursed how quickly it had passed. Chas had unzipped her dress, carefully placing it on the blanket, then taken off his jacket and shirt. Sydney had seen him in his bathing suit more than his regular clothes over the years, but she’d never opened her eyes and really looked. He’d taken her breath away that night. And then the rest of their clothes fell away—shoes were kicked off, then her bra and panties, and his boxers were tossed onto the pile.
Sydney marveled over how free and comfortable she’d felt in that moment. There had been no shyness between them, only wonder. That younger version of herself had been much more confident in her appearance than the woman she’d become since. Sydney realized she’d never be able to stand in front of Chas these days completely naked with such ease. Not that she planned to be naked with Chas again.
Of course, she hadn’t planned it that night, either.
Chas had laid her down on the blanket, fished a condom out of his pants and then just like that, he was inside her. She’d expected pain, but there hadn’t been any. Just this amazing sensation of being filled, being whole. Chas had kissed her throughout and Sydney ran her fingers through his dark hair. She’d gripped it tightly as she wrapped her legs around his waist. She’d never wanted the night to end.
But time stops for no one, not even young lovers. Chas had held her afterwards, his gaze never leaving her face. She wasn’t sure what he’d been looking for. Regret, pain, fear? He wouldn’t have seen any of those things. The only thing she’d felt was love. Blinding, breathtaking, soul-stealing love.
Maybe that was what Chas had been looking for, because he’d kissed her and just before his lips left hers, he’d whispered, “I love you too.” She’d started to say she hadn’t uttered those words, but didn’t bother. The too was accurate.
They didn’t say anything else that night. They had remained there, staring at the sky and then, after some time had passed, Chas had taken her again. After that, they’d fallen asleep, a brief respite before Chas nudged her awake and told her they needed to go home.
For one don’t-blink-or-you’ll-miss-it month, Chas had been hers. All hers. They’d been inseparable for four perfect weeks. And then he’d left, gone to the Marines. He’d told her he would always love her and that she would always be his best friend. Then he’d instructed her not to wait.
Sydney had started to protest, but Chas made her promise not to. He knew her too well, knew she’d never be happy living anywhere besides Maris. She’d known the ending to their story the night she had walked down to that beach with him and given him her virginity.
And if she were placed in that spot a million times over, she’d make the same choice. Every. Single. Time.
Sydney hadn’t waited for him. At least, not intentionally. The first time Chas had come home after basic training ended, she’d wondered how it would be between them. But Chas had remained true to his word. Instead of the sweet, attentive boyfriend he’d been when he’d left, her fun-loving, nothing-serious friend had returned. She’d been grateful to him for keeping things casual, for helping her make the break.
Until he’d informed her on the last night of his trip home that he was being deployed to Iraq.
Then she’d been angry and sad and terrified. He’d taken her to the lake to tell her about his placement. She’d punched him in the stomach—hurting her fist more than him—and railed at him for wasting their time together. All she could think was that he could die.
He’d taken her cursing and her punch in stride. The man was a solid wall of muscle and so emotionally stable that sometimes when they’d been younger, she’d tried to push his buttons just to get a rise out of him. It had never worked. She suspected his steady attitude would make him a wonderful Marine. He could think and react without emotions gumming up the works.
He’d let her persist with her tirade—tantrum, actually—for several minutes, then he’d gripped her upper arms and tugged her against his chest, holding her so tightly she feared she’d break.
He had kissed her forehead and tried to explain again why it was better this way. Better for her to move on without him. The words had made sense, but they hadn’t changed her feelings, hadn’t taken away the unbearable ache in her chest, the pain slicing through her heart.
Instead of telling him it was okay, she’d been cruel. Told him it only made things easier for him. Now he could fuck his way across the world without feeling any guilt.
Of all the things she’d said and done in her life, her actions on that night were still on the top of her list of regrets. Chas didn’t return home for a year after that confrontation. When he had, he was distantly polite—a favor she’d returned because she’d been too ashamed of herself and uncertain how to fix what she’d done.
It had taken two more years before they’d broken through the chill and found their way back to the friendship they’d always enjoyed. Since then, she’d written him a letter a month, and whenever he made his way back to the States, they hung out just like they had when they were kids. They’d never crossed the line into a physical relationship again and if anyone asked, Sydney assured them what she and Chas had shared had been nothing more than a high-school-sweethearts phase, then she swore it was over.
Warn Sydney.
Chas’ words kept returning to her. While she was grateful he was returning home, she didn’t fool herself into believing it would be easy for her to maintain a friendship without longing for more. She tried to tell herself she’d built up that first time, that she could only recall that night of the prom with a starry-eyed teenaged girl’s too-whimsical, too-romantic memory. It couldn’t have been as perfect as she remembered.
So did he want his gran to warn her of his pending return so that she could gird her loins, strengthen her resolve and find a way to maintain the status quo?
She sighed, and then decided she’d managed to get through the last twelve years’ worth of days without him, though the fact he’d been on another continent had certainly made that simpler.
Surely she could handle a few dozen more years alone, even with him nearby.
Maybe.
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Waiting for You is available now.
About the Author
Writing a book was number one on Mari Carr’s bucket list and on her thirty-fourth birthday, she set out to see that goal achieved. Too many years later, her computer is jammed full of stories — novels, novellas, short stories and dead ends, and she has nearly eighty published works.
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Virginia native Mari Carr is a New York Times and USA TODAY bestseller of contemporary erotic romance novels. With over one million copies of her books sold, Mari was the winner of the Romance Writers of America’s Passionate Plume award for her novella, Erotic Research.
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Follow Mari:
www.maricarr.com
mari@maricarr.com
Mari Carr, Wild Angel
