Northern Exposure: Compass Brothers, Book 1, page 1
Dedication
This book is dedicated to all the people at Samhain Publishing who help make our dreams reality.
To Crissy Brashear for creating a home for our books, her outstanding business acumen and her belief in us.
To our fabulous editors, Bethany Morgan and Lindsey Faber, for making our writing the best it can be.
To Marty Matthews for answering questions at all hours of the day and always being there with a smile and a hug when we need it.
To Jacob Hammer for making sure our books are pretty and sending them to places where readers can get their hands on them.
To Jimmy Barnett, Amanda Brashear and the rest of the team who send us our absolute favorite emails of the month.
To the Samhain Reader Cafe mods for keeping the party going.
To all the other authors who inspire us with their stories.
To the rest of the team; we’re sure we don’t realize all you do behind the scenes, but we appreciate it regardless.
Prologue
Dry brush crackled under the hooves of Silas Compton’s roan gelding. It hadn’t rained in a while. He could tell it would be a long summer by the clouds of terra cotta dust rising in the wake of his brothers’ galloping horses as they raced across the mountain ridge.
Not that he’d know it where he was headed. Alaska would provide a total change of scenery. Exactly what he needed. Pain lanced his chest, causing him to tense in his heirloom saddle. Rainey’s ears flicked up. Silas patted the loyal animal’s neck, settling into the rhythm of their canter, and wondered how he would survive so far from the land that had been a part of him since he’d been born.
Somehow he would have to make it work.
He sure as hell couldn’t stay.
Like the three-legged dog they’d had as kids, he would learn to cope without an integral part of himself. If only he and his puppy had reined in their curiosity and avoided those damn traps…
But they hadn’t.
Lucy Silver, the veterinarian’s sweet daughter—who’d been dancing through his dirty dreams since he’d been old enough to have them—had spotted Silas making out with her boyfriend in the barn. It’d been like the day he’d watched his puppy scramble toward the razor-sharp jaws lying concealed under a pile of straw all over again.
Removing himself from the equation seemed like the only way he could halt imminent disaster and protect the two people he cared about most outside of his family. He’d already destroyed enough of Lucy’s innocence.
Christ, he couldn’t explain what had driven him to kiss Colby in the first place.
Impulsive. Rash. Reckless.
Qualities Silas didn’t value. The one time he gave in to the dark urges he wrestled, he paid a horrible price. But he’d caught Colby checking out his sweaty muscles as they’d worked together in the heat of the day. Desire had arced between them.
Irresistible. Delicious. Forbidden.
Until the agony on Lucy’s face had slammed him back to reality. Silas vowed to leave the couple to mend their fences and live in peace, without the threat of his interference ripping them apart. Lucy and Colby devoured each other with desperate gazes when they thought no one paid attention. It didn’t take a genius to figure out their love was the real deal.
He’d go, even if it meant giving up everything familiar and cherished, including his brothers and his two best friends. Because he sure as shit couldn’t stay and keep his hands to himself. Not with a double helping of temptation running wild.
Amber rays from the setting sun ignited the prairie below. The glowing grasslands seared into his memory. He’d never lose track of his roots. He’d never forget his heritage, Compass Ranch, even if he couldn’t accept his destiny as its head.
His brothers would pick up his slack.
Seth, a year younger than him, whooped then grinned over his shoulder as he spurred his mare faster. Wild as a mustang, he flew over the landscape to the spot they’d claimed as their own. The twins, Sam and Sawyer, followed suit.
They hadn’t discussed their plans for the evening. As soon as Silas had made his announcement to the family, the boys had glanced around the dining table—where all important family business was conducted—and nodded. They hadn’t objected to his desertion, but strain lined their faces, sorrow dimmed their eyes and the betrayal he feared flashed in the air a split second before they began planning how they’d support him.
Christ, their generosity had made him feel lower than the shit on the bottom of his muck boots because he hadn’t had the guts to admit why he really planned to leave. None of them would have been dumb enough to mess with something that wasn’t theirs. And if they had, they wouldn’t have lied about it on top. Such strong souls would thrive with or without him. But could he cut out something so essential to his being and live so wounded? So lost?
Cut adrift, he might not make it.
Silas gripped the reins too tight. He forced himself to relax his fingers.
One night. He’d give himself these final hours with his brothers to say goodbye to all he treasured. Tomorrow, he’d ride out. Forever.
The driving hoof beats slowed as they approached their destination. By the time they ducked beneath the shelter of the mountain cypresses, the rocky terrain forced them to walk their mounts. None of the teenagers would jeopardize the safety of their animals or their brothers.
He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to contain the agony lassoing his heart as he realized he’d never be close to the men they’d grow into, their families or the children who’d take their places in the tight-knit community like so many generations before them.
The last damn thing he wanted was to bawl like a sissy.
If his family caught on to his pain, they might not let him go. Luckily, he’d learned from the toughest sons of bitches in the west how to be a real cowboy. If that was the only way he could honor his legacy, he’d man up and do it. Somehow.
They dismounted, reverting to familiar patterns. Seth and Sawyer tied the horses as Sam gathered kindling for their bonfire. Silas patched the pit left from prior visits then dug some supplies from his pack, including hot dogs despite the fact they’d eaten dinner before they left. These days, the four of them could shovel in enough to feed an army.
Or so their mom said.
“Si, you’re bleeding.” Count on Sawyer to notice.
“It’s nothing.” Silas faced the youngest, by twenty-two minutes, of his brothers. The kid’s twin had already picked up on the vibe. Damn their weird-ass mental connection.
“It’s something.” Sam sidled up behind him to take a peek. “It’s too uniform to be a cut.”
“Did you do it?” Damn if Seth didn’t tip his hat and glare from beneath his dark brows. When Silas didn’t answer, Seth stomped over. “Holy shit. You did. You got a freaking tattoo. Without me? Without us? You asshole!”
Silas dodged his brother’s half-hearted punch toward the sore spot between his shoulder blades. The disappointment radiating from the guy in waves did more damage than his fist would have. After Silas’s sudden declaration of independence, this looked bad, but he couldn’t come clean and admit the craving he’d had to brand himself with some symbol of home before he took off. Not if he had any hope of escaping.
“I had a hard enough time convincing Snake to ink me. If I’d brought you guys with me, he never would have caved. He only did it because I’m eighteen now.”
If Silas had told Seth, they wouldn’t have been able to stop Sam and Sawyer from tagging along too.
“Well, I suppose that’s true. Plus he’s probably afraid JD will kill him if he finds out.” Sawyer let Silas off easy, as usual.
“Yeah, that’s why I took the bandages off. Didn’t want him to notice.”
Pride for their badass father glowed from the kid. Silas agreed. As head of Compass Ranch—the center of Compton Pass, Wyoming—JD Compton wielded vast financial clout but his personality made him larger than life and, most important, earned him respect by the acre.
“But you gotta let us see it at least,” Sawyer insisted.
“Sure.” Silas dropped a wedge of firewood on the crackling flame Sam had started, and then stood. All three of his brothers lined up behind him—Seth in the middle, the twins on either side—when he tugged his gray T-shirt over his head, wincing a little at the sting of his sweat in the open wound. The three usually raucous kids didn’t make a single peep when he revealed the artwork. “It’s swollen and stuff—”
“Whoa.” Seth broke the silence.
“It’s awesome.” Sam laid his palm to the right of the emblem, careful not to touch the raw skin.
“Sweet,” Sawyer agreed then added his hand on the left side of Silas’s back.
“Does it hurt?” Seth completed their connection, touching the area below the design.
“So bad,” Silas gasped, struggling not to drop to his knees.
“I’m still doing it. Next year. The minute I turn eighteen,” Seth whispered into the gathering twilight. “Exactly like this.”
“Me too,” Sam chimed in. “The compass design is fucking great. And the ranch brand is perfect. It matches the one we use.”
“I didn’t know Snake had this kind of shit in him. The shading is so cool. It looks 3-D.” Sawyer’s hand shook on Silas’s back. “I want one now. Like yours. But without the fancy N.”
“You’re only fifteen,” Silas barked. “Wait a while an d make sure it’s what you really want.”
“I know what I want.”
“Things don’t always happen like you expect, Sawyer.” Silas felt the pressure of his brothers’ hands bracing him as he heaved a giant sigh.
“Is that why you’re leaving?” The high pitch of Sam’s question reminded Silas that even though his youngest brothers had started fooling around with girls in their class, and he’d busted them splitting a six pack they’d swiped from the bunkhouse, they still had more boy than man in them.
“Yeah.” He couldn’t give them more of the truth than that. It embarrassed him. Angered him. And threatened to drown him in despair.
“Well, some people might flip flop around. Not me. Not going to change my mind.” Sawyer stuck to his guns. He’d always been the most determined to prove himself despite being the baby of the group. Maybe because of it. “I’m joining the Coast Guard. Gonna see the world.”
“What?” Silas pivoted to stare at the kid, severing the connection with his brothers. He regretted it instantly, but he had to search Sawyer’s eyes for the truth. “You’ve been watching too many freaking commercials. Your place is here, on the ranch.”
“No, it isn’t,” the teenager whispered.
When the other two nodded in agreement, Silas staggered backward.
“You’re not planning to stay?” His forehead crumpled as he tried to understand. “None of you?”
“Don’t look at us like that.” Seth waved his hands in front of his chest. “I figured you’d understand. I need to get the hell out of here. Find my own place. Same as you. Not Alaska though, I hate winter. You’re crazy to take on all that snow. Somewhere warm. Maybe I’ll head down south. Yeah, that’s what I’ll do. A fancy S instead of an N on my compass, bro.”
“What? No!” Silas couldn’t explain. “It’s not like that. I mean—”
“We understand, Si.” Sam smiled then nodded. “I’d like to go to college. Earn a degree, find a real job. Something where I don’t have to dirty my hands to rake in cash. I’ll have fancy clothes, a slick apartment and a kickass car. I’ll party every night with the hottest girls in the city.”
The relief washing over his brothers filled Silas with anxiety and left him reeling. Who would help their father with the ranch? Who would continue their family traditions? Who if not him? Or Seth? Or Sam?
“Oh, no.” Sawyer shook his head as he kicked a rock. “Don’t give me that look. I told you, I’m not getting stuck here. Fuck that. You think someone should hang around, then stay put. It ain’t too late to cancel your plane ticket.”
“I-I can’t.”
“And neither can we.” Seth slugged his shoulder. “Come on, start the dogs. I’m starving. Jake slipped me a couple Playboys for doing his chores last weekend so he could bang Misty Trelane.”
“Nice! Me first.” Sam managed a head start for their brother’s backpack as Sawyer launched himself after his twin.
Silas watched them wrestle, laugh and call each other names as though his entire world hadn’t been ripped apart. Then he pivoted and stared out to the horizon as the sun set on his childhood.
Chapter One
Ten Years Later
Silas frowned into a cracked, empty glass as the burn of whiskey permeated his chest, faking a warmth he hadn’t experienced in a decade. He slammed the tumbler on the shitty plank bar then motioned for another. A few more and he might actually believe he languished in the middle of a perfect Wyoming summer.
But what would be the point?
He’d wake tomorrow morning, miserable and lonely as usual.
He studied the fresh picture hanging, a little crooked, on the Wall of Death. Macabre? Maybe. But the lifers who came to Alaska to seek out her dangerous jobs formed a kind of brotherhood where each member understood that, for some, a tragic early ending came as a welcome relief. They all ran from something—war wounds, screwed up childhoods, a life of monotony—God only knew what.
In addition to the misfits, a few others rounded out the mix. Foolish men and women, who didn’t comprehend the risks, attempted to make a quick buck. Adrenaline junkies on a permanent high soared from hazard to hazard. Still, for the most part, broken men littered the gorgeous, frozen landscape.
Silas saluted the deceased captain of the crabbing boat with his refilled glass then downed the next dose of poison too. Despite his tarnished past, Captain Robert had saved Silas’s ass a time or two during the tours Silas had served harvesting on the vessel before he moved on to long haul driving along treacherous routes. He remembered the screams he’d heard on occasion when the captain had a particularly bad night and the times they’d drunk themselves into oblivion to avoid the darkness a little longer.
Hopefully the man had found peace at last.
He started a mental list of all the comrades he’d lost in the extreme positions he’d mastered—expedition guide, crabber, big rig driver and pilot on top of his current gig as an oil rig motorhand. After several dozen, their faces blurred in his mind.
Could have something to do with all the alcohol he’d consumed in those ten years. Or the numbness infecting his soul as he wandered so far from the place and people he loved.
Silas glowered in an attempt to scare off the woman headed straight for his permanent spot at the dive. In this mood, he’d make no kind of company for a lady.
“Knock it off, Compass.” Red, nicknamed for the bright jacket he wore on the job, elbowed Silas’s ribs. “I’ll take her off your hands if you’re not hungry. It’s been a long time since I had a meal that fine.”
Silas squinted, trying to focus despite the solid drunk he’d been heading toward. Red had a point. A sweet thing like her didn’t wander into their territory often. In fact, women in general were in short supply here, at the end of the world.
The deficit made him long for the squandered plenty of his youth. And provided the perfect opportunity for him to slake his lust for men.
Rough, raw craving would build inside him for months until he surrendered to gnawing need. Companionship came at a high price around here for most men, but once rumors of Silas’s edge had spread, he’d had a line of willing partners a pointed look and a nod away.
For the past six months or so, he’d spent the majority of his off time with Red. The man made it easy on him, never asking for more than Silas could give. After the first time they’d hooked up—when Silas had allowed the man to suck him off in the bar’s grimy bathroom—Red had made it clear he’d welcome a quick fuck in the back of a truck, a shared night with some woman they happened across or whatever else suited Silas’s violent mood swings.
Silas never allowed himself to take advantage of the more generous offers lurking in Red’s eyes, though. Shit. Those emotions grew day by day. He dropped his head in his hands, spearing his fingers through his unkempt hair as he realized he’d have to distance himself from his roommate before the man got hurt. He’d move out after their double shift this weekend.
Two people and two people alone inspired more than carnal savagery in him. It wouldn’t be fair to give Red hope that Silas’s longing for Lucy and Colby would change in this lifetime. If ten years hadn’t killed his dedication, nothing would.
Hell, Silas couldn’t bear companionship some days. He didn’t remember how to be a friend. It’d been too many years. Pride in a hard day’s work and the reassuring discomfort of a solid hangover, which insured he’d passed out for at least a few hours before heading to the job to do it all over again, propelled him forward through week after week.
“Your friend looks like he could use some cheering up.”
Why in the hell did his surly temper attract women like bees to honey? It seemed the more he growled and tried to warn them off, the more they wanted in his pants. Insane. Every one of them. Just like him.
“And what about me?” Red turned to the woman with his best imitation of Silas’s genuine misery. “Maybe I need some of your healing touch.”
“Don’t worry, handsome. I’m the kind of woman who can handle two strapping men at once.”
The sassy introduction made the corner of Silas’s mouth curve up despite his resolve. Tough Alaskan women reminded him of Wyoming cowgirls in a hell of a lot of ways.
Sexy ways.
