Cara O'Shea's Return, page 16
part #1 of Small Town New England Series
Maive patted her cheek. “Call me after you talk to him, so I can crow a little.”
Cara stared after her as she left. She didn’t know what was wrong with everyone. Why was she the only one who understood what Finn had tried so hard to say with his outrageous performance this afternoon? She heard his message loud and clear. “Don’t love me, Cara. I can’t love you back. This is who and what I am.”
He was wrong, of course. He was so much more than a playboy ex-athlete, but unless or until he saw that himself, nothing would change. In the meantime, she wasn’t going to continue to let her heart be battered by the knowledge he didn’t love her. She had her work, she had her family and friends, and she’d had four glorious weeks with the man she’d loved her whole life.
It was time she moved beyond her lifelong fascination with Michael Finnegan.
****
Finn banged his shin on something hard and bulky. He hissed a vicious curse. The studio was pitch-black, but he didn’t dare turn on a light.
He ran his fingers over the unexpected obstruction. Buttery soft leather met his touch. Hell, she moved furniture in already? Didn’t she know the floor needed a few days to cure?
Thankfully, the stairs were new and didn’t squeak. He climbed to the second floor apartment, quietly unlocking the door. He stepped lightly, not wanting any tell-tale creaks to alert her to his presence until he could slip into the bedroom. Once he had her in his arms, he figured he could romance her into listening to him, and forgiving him.
If that didn’t work, he’d beg.
He struggled against the urge to race through the apartment, laughing like an ass. Cara loved him! If what Evan Malone told him was true, she had for years. The knowledge rattled him, even as it thrilled and humbled him.
The last person he expected when he opened the door to the penthouse an hour ago had been her art dealer. The big man pushed his way through the door and demanded to know what Finn’s intentions were toward Cara.
Finn hadn’t been thrilled to learn his instincts about the man were right on the mark, but the rest of what he learned more than made up for the burn of jealousy while listening to the man’s frank comments.
According to Malone, she’d been in love with Finn for years, at least eight, and probably longer than that. She hadn’t lost interest after a couple of years, or once his football career ended, deciding there must be something or someone better out there. That kind of love was lasting. Love that deep would weather life’s storms and come out stronger on the other side.
His charmed life had been restored.
Malone had no reason to lie about Cara’s long-term feelings for Finn, just the opposite, in fact. The man was in love with Cara, had been for years. Her art dealer enjoyed making it clear that if she was finally over Finn, after what he’d done at the anniversary celebration today, Evan would do whatever was necessary to win her once and for all, and keep her.
And if by some miracle, she was still in love with Finn, Evan gave notice that Finn had better never hurt her again or he’d have Evan Malone to deal with. Finn wasn’t about to let any other man have her. He’d spend the rest of his life doing everything in his power to make her happy.
The light above the stove cast a faint glow over the tiny kitchen and living area, saving his shins from further damage as he kicked off his shoes. He pulled the shirt over his head, and unsnapped his jeans, dropping them and his briefs on the couch. Naked, he tiptoed to the bedroom door, cringing as he slowly swung it open.
Approaching the bed, he could just make out the bump she made beneath the sheet. He smiled at the sight of her head buried beneath the cool cotton.
He tried not to jostle the bed, sliding in beside her, but wasn’t completely successful. She grumbled a protest at being disturbed. He leaned over her, crooning. “Shhh. It’s okay, baby. It’s just me.”
The bed jostled then, though neither of them moved. He blinked when the room suddenly flooded with light.
On the other side of the bed, Cara gasped and stared, her arm still outstretched toward the lamp. Finn’s eyes widened in horrified surprise, and he glanced down at the bump lying under him, still buried beneath the sheet. A slender hand emerged, shoving the sheet down to reveal the blonde head and scowling face of Meggy Calhoun.
“Jesus!” Finn scrambled out of the bed as though it were on fire.
Meggy scooted up against the headboard with a huff, and took her time eyeing his naked body as he searched for something to cover himself. He snatched Cara’s robe from the foot of the bed, turning around to shove his arms in the sleeves. They came to just below his elbows, and the garment ended far above his knees.
****
Cara sat up, pushing her tangled hair from her face. Though her frilly, yellow robe wasn’t as funny on Finn as it should be, she had the stray wish that one of those pushy press people from this morning would magically appear with their camera right about now.
“What the hell are you doing here?” He glared at Meggy as he knotted the sash at his waist.
“Funny, but I was about to ask you the same question.” She turned to Cara. “You were right about his body. He looks great naked. Too bad he’s such an incredible asshole.”
“Meggy.” Cara sighed.
“Don’t Meggy me. You aren’t going to listen to his pathetic excuses are you? What he did was rotten.” Meggy eyed his muscular form in the silky yellow confection. Crossing her arms, she glanced dismissively from the top of his head to his bare feet. “If I was a foot taller and a hundred pounds heavier, I’d kick his ass.”
Finn returned Meggy’s glare for several heartbeats, but when he turned to Cara, his blue eyes softened.
“We need to talk, baby.”
Cara stiffened. How dare he look so sincere? “That’s not necessary. You made yourself perfectly clear this morning.”
“Atta girl!” Meggy crowed. “Don’t let those incredible pecs scramble your brains.”
“Shut up, Meggy,” Finn growled.
Meggy sat up in the bed and pointed a finger at him. “Don’t you tell me to shut up. You’re not the boss of me!”
He stalked to the foot of the bed. Bending at the waist, he slapped both hands on the mattress and leaned over Meggy. His powerful arms bracketed her legs beneath the sheet. She tucked them under her, out of his reach.
“I’m giving you two minutes to get dressed and get out of here. If you’re still here after that, I’m hauling you downstairs in your jammies and dumping your ass on the sidewalk.”
Meggy was silent for a moment, and her eyes shot to Cara, who sighed and tossed the covers aside to climb from the bed. She walked to the closet and pulled out another robe.
Meggy frowned. “You can’t kick me out of here. This is Cara’s place, not yours.”
Finn straightened. The shoulder seams of the robe strained when he crossed his arms over those impressive pecs. “A minute, thirty.”
Slamming the covers aside, Meggy slipped from the bed and snatched her clothes from a chair. “I never realized what a jerk you are.”
Finn ignored the insult, now that Meggy was following his directive.
She shoved slender legs into her jeans, whipping them up under her mid-thigh sleep shirt. “You know, Finn. She’s never done anything but love you.”
“Meggy.” Cara shook her head.
Shooting her an apologetic grimace, Meggy scooped up her purse and blouse and stomped across the room to stop in front of him. Despite the top of her head only coming to his collarbone, she lifted a belligerent chin and poked him in the center of his chest with her index finger.
“You’d better not hurt her anymore.”
His big hand closed around her finger and held her there. “I won’t hurt her, Meggy. I promise.” He raised her hand and flipped it over to place a kiss on her palm.
“Geez.” Rolling her eyes, she tugged her hand free. She tossed Cara a pitying glance over one shoulder while walking to the door. “Good luck, girlfriend.”
“I see what you mean about her being your bodyguard,” he said after the apartment door clicked shut.
Cara sighed and sat on the edge of the bed. “What do you want, Finn?”
He sat beside her. “I want you.”
She stiffened. “You wanted Vic this morning. I don’t think you know what you want.”
“Aw, baby. I’m sorry.” He picked up a lock of her hair and rubbed it between his finger and thumb. “That was pretty shitty of me. I was an asshole.”
She tugged her hair free and stood. “Yes, you are.” She left him sitting on the bed and went into the kitchen. She was grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge when he filled the doorway.
“I panicked, Cara.”
She leaned her hip against the counter. “You panicked?”
He nodded, but stayed where he was. “Things between us were moving so fast. One day you were here and I was spending all this time in your studio, and the next you were sleeping in my bed and…”
“Hold it right there, buster.” She aimed the water bottle at him. “I didn’t want to hire you in the first place, remember? That was your idea. And I distinctly recall you offering your bed while the studio was ripped up. That was your idea, too.”
“I’m not saying it’s your fault.”
“You’d damned well better not be!”
Tired and heartsick, she didn’t want to fight with him. All she wanted was to be left alone. With a sigh, she sank onto a kitchen chair. “Just say whatever it is you want to say and go.”
His eyes wary, he crossed the room and lowered to the chair on her right. She didn’t flinch or pull away when he took one of her hands in his. Instead, she stared down at their entwined hands, his large and wide palmed, hers delicate with long, tapered artist’s fingers. He played with them.
“When I took that hit to the knee,” he began, “something died in me. I’m a ball player. My whole life, football was always there. When my parents died, when I moved away from home for the first time. Then, all of a sudden, the sport I love was gone. The one constant in my life was ripped away from me, and I spiraled. When Andrea left, I went a little wild. I figured the whole world was looking at me and thinking, poor schmuck, can’t play ball, can’t keep his wife. I started dating women just to prove to the world I was still man enough to land a beautiful woman, even if I couldn’t play ball anymore. Every time my picture showed up on one of those rags with a different woman on my arm, it was like a full color announcement that Andrea was the failure, instead of me.
“But after a while, I realized I was choosing women I could easily walk away from, before they walked away from me. I did the same with work. I avoided anything important, anything permanent. I turned down all offers for permanent work, preferring guest spots and limited contracts to the possibility of something fulfilling that could disappear on the whims of fate. Just like football. Just like Andrea. Just like my mother.”
“You rebuilt the Sawyer House, Finn, that’s permanent. And you built the boys’ camp. That’s important.” He quickly glanced up from their hands, as if surprised. “Doc told me about the camp.”
He disregarded her comment with a shake of his head. “I just set it up. Doc runs it. I spend a couple of weeks with the kids and move on to a new bunch the next summer.”
Her brow wrinkled in confusion. “What does any of this have to do with me? I didn’t make any demands of you, and yet you acted out that little scene today like I was some kind of fatal attraction. All you had to say was it’s over. I would have accepted that. You should have just told me you wanted to move on, instead of embarrassing me in front of the entire town with Vicky.”
“Oh, baby. I’m sorry about Vicky. Like I said, I panicked, and it seemed kinder to hurt you now, rather than later after things got even more complicated.”
“Kinder?” Yanking her hand from his, she jumped to her feet. “I think I’ve heard enough. What do you want, Finn? Do you want me to accept your apology? Fine, I accept. Now, go!”
He stood as well. “I didn’t come just to apologize. I came because I’m in love with you. Because I screwed up, and I don’t want to lose you.”
She crossed her arms and gave him a falsely patient stare. “You’re in love with me. Okay. So? What? You’ve decided now that you don’t mind hurting me later?”
“Damn it, Cara, I know I’m making a mess of this, but I do love you, and I won’t hurt you. I give you my word.” He brushed her cheek with his fingertip. She turned her head aside, avoiding his touch.
“What’s changed since this morning?” She shook her head and sighed. “I can’t spend the next six months waiting for you to show up with Sissy or Buffy, parading some woman in front of me because you think it will be kinder to hurt me then, rather than in a year. I received your message, loud and clear. Let’s just leave it at that.”
He ignored the reference to other women, dipping his head to gaze straight in her eyes. “This morning I hadn’t spoken to Evan Malone.”
She blinked. “Evan?” Of all things he could have said, she never expected that. “Why would you talk to Evan?”
“Because he showed up at my penthouse.”
“Why?”
He met her bewildered gaze. “Because he’s in love with you.”
She gave a startled laugh. “No, he isn’t.” Finn said nothing, simply waited. “He’s just a friend.”
“Tell me there isn’t a history there, Cara. Tell me he isn’t the one.”
Her mind supplied the memory of them standing beside her bed. Have you ever been with a man, baby? I...yes, once. His somber blue gaze bore into hers. Guilt flooded her and she glanced away.
He moved a step closer, his deep voice husky with emotion. “I don’t care who you’ve been with before me, Cara. God knows I don’t have room to talk. What I care about is what you feel for him. What he feels for you.”
She stared into his eyes and the emotion she read there brought a sting of tears to her own. “He’s my friend.”
He nodded and brushed away the single tear that escaped with his finger. “He’s your friend, and he’s in love with you.”
She shook her head in denial.
“A man in love can spot another man in love,” he murmured, his gaze running over her face before returning to her eyes. “Particularly when they’re both in love with the same woman.”
“Finn.” She whimpered when he continued to stroke her cheek with the tip of his finger.
“He told me you were in love with another man when he met you. That you’ve been in love with this man for years. Am I that man, Cara?”
She began to cry in earnest at having her yearning heart laid bare. Speaking was impossible. She nodded.
He bowed his head until his forehead rested against hers. “I’m in love with you, Cara. I’ve been afraid to take a chance on anything that matters for so long. Afraid it wouldn’t last. When I saw you with Evan yesterday, I was pissed off enough to decide it was time to let you go.” His head lifted, and he cupped her chin with his hand. “But I can’t. I need you, Cara. I need to share that love with you. I know it’s fast, but when I walked in and found you sitting in Maive’s parlor, it was as though I had been sacked by an entire defensive line.”
Her eyes drifted shut on a teary laugh. “I know the feeling.”
He chuckled, wrapping his arms around her to pull her close. “You’ve been sacked by a defensive line, have you?”
She opened her eyes, smiling through tears. “No.” She shook her head. “For me it was a flock of butterflies.” A laugh escaped, seeing the puzzlement on his face. “I was eleven when I got my first glimpse of Finn the Fine in action under a tree near the school gymnasium. You smiled at me and winked. My stomach fluttered as if I had swallowed a flock of butterflies. I’ve loved you ever since.”
His mouth crashed down on hers, but after a moment his head jerked back and he grinned. “You were the little girl spying on Alice Butler and me behind the gym?”
She nodded. “Guilty as charged, but not so little.”
He threw back his head and laughed. Scooping her up in his arms, he carried her to the bedroom. “If my former teammates could see me now, an all-pro quarterback in a yellow frilly robe with a sexy bundle in his arms.”
She blushed at his compliment, fingering the lapel of the robe. “Forget your teammates. Meggy’s the one you have to worry about. She has seen you in my frilly yellow robe, and she has a long memory.”
He stopped beside her bed, his brows drawing together in a frown.
“Poor baby.” She patted his cheek in sympathy, biting her lip to keep from laughing.
“You know her better than I do. How does she feel about bribes?”
Cara lost the battle with her laughter. His eyes flashed with wicked intent. Holding her out over the mattress, he dropped her. She landed with a shriek in the center of the bed. Finn soon followed to cover her body with his. He dropped a kiss on her nose, and his smile slipped into seriousness.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you last night. Evan told me what happened with your father and Hannah.”
She swallowed the lump in her throat. “They’ve been through hell.”
“It hasn’t been easy for any of you, but at least now you know Tom didn’t deliberately set out to hurt anyone. He was caught up in an unbearable situation.” She nodded. “Tom loves you, baby. And Hannah is a nice woman.”
“I know.”
He lowered his mouth to hers, nibbling at the corners of her lips. The familiar flame only Finn could fan warmed her and she melted under his delicious ministrations. She joined him in his nibbling until he pulled back to leer down at her.
Pure deviltry sparkled in his eyes. “Now, about that dirt.”
A word about the author...
Raised in the Boston area, Mac and her husband live in Phoenix where they raised two rambunctious little boys into wonderful men. Dirt bikes and ESPN are the order around their house, and life at the “Testosterone Ranch” more closely resembles one of today’s wacky reality shows than yesterday’s Leave It To Beaver.
The grandmother of two, Mac’s love of the romance genre has been a lifelong affair. A bout with breast cancer strengthened her resolve to see her stories shared with others. As of today, Mac is a five-year survivor, living her dream.









