Knot Real, page 7
“Ah.” Vale flinched as Zyke almost made it inside, the ache turning sharp. It was going to hurt more than he ever imagined. It might even damage him and split him apart.
Zyke seemed mad with it, his bite fierce as he tensed his entire body, demanding entrance. He slowly wedged himself deeper, the edge of the bumpy ridge starting to make its way in.
“It’s not going to fit,” said Vale, nearly shouting as he clawed at Zyke’s side, not sure if he was pulling him closer or pushing away. It didn’t matter when his body finally gave way and Zyke entered, the ridge locking inside Vale as the first few inches slid home.
Hurts. Tears gathered on his eyelashes, and he kicked back, unable to pull the strength of his hit. It wasn’t the little bit of pain that he had been warned about for his first time. This was overwhelming—consuming, tearing a bit of his soul along with his body.
Zyke grunted as Vale’s kick struck true, their skin slapping together as Vale immediately drew his legs under him before kicking out as hard as he could.
Kangaroo shifters weren’t known for a lot of things other than their ability to be nearly always pregnant, but there was one thing that the entire population was cautious of. Kangaroos could kick to kill.
Zyke fell back, sliding into the edge of the nest and keeling over to the side until he flipped onto the ground. The movement also jerked him from within Vale, the suddenly sharp emptiness just as bad as the first instant of intrusion.
Vale rolled onto his side, touching between his legs as he whimpered. “Ow, Ow. You are the fucking worst, Zyke. Why the hell is your cock so fucking big? Jesus.” He rolled to his other side, the ache already starting to calm.
Glancing down, he let out a sigh of relief when he didn’t see any blood on his fingers, only shiny clear fluid. When he touched his rim, though, it zinged all the way to the base of his spine, aching and throbbing in a way that wasn’t completely bad.
Pushing a finger inside himself, he paused, his breath stuttering at how open and soft he was. A second finger slid in just as easily, deep enough that he could touch the spot that felt so good. A whimper made him stop, seeking out Zyke with his gaze.
There was blood dripping from Zyke’s mouth and forearm, his eyes wild. At first Vale wondered if he’d somehow broken his arm, even though his kick had aimed low, until he watched as Zyke eyed up his own flesh, latching onto it with his teeth before biting down hard.
“Stop, stop!” Vale launched off the bed, pulling Zyke’s arm from his mouth. His skin was sticky with blood, the air thick with it and souring the perfect chocolate. “What are you doing?”
“Hurt you,” said Zyke, ducking his head before attempting to bring his arm up again, his mouth open as he reached. His teeth were tainted with vermillion, some of it bubbling up in the corner of his lips. The sight pulled at Vale’s heart, squeezing painfully.
“You didn’t,” said Vale, straddling Zyke as he fell back. Pinning his arms over his head, he put all his weight into the hold, knowing that Zyke could break free in a second. Blood dripped sluggishly from the two wounds, leaking onto the floor and soaking between the cracks of hardwood. There was no way it would ever fully wash off.
“Hurt you.” Zyke shook his head, baring his throat as he trembled. “Didn’t mean to.” He was shaking, sweat still staining his skin and mixing with the blood. He was still hard, and probably aching just as much as Vale was. Hell, maybe even more. The pain of mated rut without sex was apparently enough to make some alphas go mad.
“You don’t want,” said Zyke, his expression cracking. He was so vulnerable, laid bare in this state with heightened emotions his only companion. Reduced to someone who could barely find words, Vale ached for him.
I have to do something.
“I do.” Vale nodded, taking a trembling breath. “It’s not your fault. I do want. I was just scared.” Terrified— No—‘petrified’ was a more accurate description. “I—I can show you.”
Chapter Seven
He released Zyke’s wrists, leaning back to feel the cock below his ass that was just as hard and insistent as it had been before. It didn’t seem so intimidating anymore with Zyke beneath him and close to breaking, and Vale straddling him. Maybe they should have tried it like this in the first place.
Reaching behind him, he guided the tip to his entrance. This time it was easy to find, his rim still soft, with fresh slickness weeping from him as his own cock firmed again. He braced himself, willing himself to relax as he rocked back, slowly leaning more and more pressure on that single spot.
It didn’t take nearly as much force to take him the second time. It popped through in the same way, the ridge of the head locking inside him as the first inches slid deep with a few other nubs already resting inside.
His chest heaved as he paused, his legs trembling as he held himself upright. The pain was fleeting this time, too, settling to a soft glow that had him throbbing. Zyke didn’t exactly fit, but the nubs were surprisingly pleasant as he shifted, taking just a tiny bit more.
Zyke lay frozen, his eyes wide and his lips parted in a pant that Vale could agree with. He might as well have run a marathon from the way he was breathing, his heart pounding beneath Vale’s fingertips where he braced his hands against Zyke’s chest.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
He settled farther, taking the next few inches that filled him up more than any toy ever had. He was already so deep, with so much more to go before he hit that knot that would lock them together.
“I—is it okay?” asked Vale, his voice trembling as he tried to take another inch, only to yelp and pull up when it ached somewhere inside. Something dragged as one of the nubs slipped out of him, the smoothness not smooth at all anymore. He shivered at the sensation, sliding back and forth over the spot a few times just to feel it again.
Zyke nodded, flexing his hands where he was digging into Vale’s hips. He didn’t pull or push, instead resting there as Vale took his time.
When Vale sank back along that same inch, this time it slid inside with little resistance, something in him shifting—opening. His eyes rolled back, his hips stuttering as he was suddenly right at the edge of orgasm, slamming his hips the rest of the way down.
Throbbing, he came, his cock twitching and spurting as slick trickled from his entrance, coating Zyke more than he already was. He jerked his legs, clinging tight as he threw his head back, the scream caught in his throat.
“Fuck, you’re so deep. Why are you so fucking big? Why do I like it so much?” He clawed at Zyke’s chest, whimpering as he came down. “I’m not sure if I can do that again.”
He was suddenly powerless, his limbs stretching over loose bones and skin that barely kept him contained. He wasn’t sure if he could lift himself or even rock back and forth to get Zyke off. He was just a heap of nerves, stripped raw and weak.
“Is it enough?” asked Vale, shifting so his head was hanging low between his trembling arms. All his weight was on Zyke, his ass as close as it could ever get—or so he thought.
Zyke gripped Vale’s hips, rolling and shifting that little bit deeper. It burned, aching in a way he’d never thought possible. He could split apart, but it still didn’t cover the sensation that consumed him, pinpointed at their connection.
“Okay?” asked Zyke, his voice so gentle as he slowly sat up, holding Vale in his lap and tugging him close. He stroked the back of Vale’s neck with one hand, the touch so much softer than he’d ever been.
They may have been gentle with each other before, being careful in the past because of their difference in size and strengths, but they were never soft. This was something dangerous—saying they were something more than just friends.
He couldn’t bring himself to care, closing his eyes and drifting with the gentle rocking that he could imagine was a boat lost at sea, searching for the same thing he was. Every few thrusts, something dragged inside as one of the nubs slipped in or out of him, bringing him closer and closer to another edge.
“Hurts?”
Vale opened his eyes at the sound of Zyke’s voice, leaning so he could look into his face. His own cheeks were wet, but he wasn’t sure why. He wasn’t scared or hurt anymore. He just was.
“No, it doesn’t hurt.” He gasped as Zyke slipped a little farther out before immediately sliding deep again. “Feels good…really good.” Those nubs were going to be the death of him, stroking over his insides and bringing something alive that he hadn’t known existed.
Zyke beamed, nosing against his throat before kissing him and making him shiver. Vale gripped his shoulders, rocking a bit as he gained a bit of strength back. His cock hadn’t stopped aching the entire time, ready again, even if he wasn’t.
“Just like that,” said Vale, bouncing a little as Zyke shifted, and he brushed the spot that had fire lighting on his skin. On the next thrust, he missed it, but Vale arched, leaning back until the head of Zyke’s cock slammed right against it.
“I—” He really did scream this time as he came, his hips jerking and sending Zyke’s cock into his prostate over and over. Zyke suddenly gripped him hard, pulling him in tighter as something swelled.
If he had thought it had hurt the first moment, it was nothing compared to now as Zyke’s knot swelled wide, locking him in place. He couldn’t breathe, his heart hammering and his mouth open wide in a silent breathless gasp. It hurt so fucking good.
Zyke grunted, closing his eyes and flexing his grip as something warm and wet flooded Vale with an insistence that spread him wide. It kept going—filling, aching, until he collapsed against Zyke’s chest, barely conscious or alive, as far as he was concerned. Their connection tugged painfully from the angle, forcing him to curl his body, lest it break him.
“You okay, Vale?”
Vale grunted, hating the clarity of Zyke’s voice. He hated the position more, now that Zyke was back to himself. Vale could have been the only one to stop it, and he’d failed.
Guilt sank deep into him, churning his gut and turning the comforting weight in his belly into nausea.
“That was…good?” said Zyke.
Vale wasn’t sure if that was supposed to be a statement or a question. Either way, it was completely inaccurate.
It was the best fucking thing he could have ever imagined. He never would have thought his body was meant to go through something like that—something so primal that overwrote every textbook he’d ever read and every sane moment he’d had in his life.
“I guess,” said Vale, turning his face into Zyke’s chest and closing his eyes against the wince as Zyke’s cock twitched. He couldn’t catch the embarrassing moan, or the dribble of slick that somehow made it past the knot that was plugging him. How humiliating.
“I don’t think I’ll need to go again, if you were worried about it,” said Zyke, his voice soft and hesitant. “Sorry for being rough.”
Vale looked to the wounds on Zyke’s arms—the perfect curvature of his sharp teeth. The bleeding had stopped, the spots crusting over, dark and almost brown.
“Why did you?” He touched the edge of one of the bites before immediately drawing his hand back. “I’m sorry if I upset you. It was my fault, right? Because I kicked you out?”
“Not really,” said Zyke, shaking his head. His cheeks looked pale under his sweat, He was probably hungry and thirsty, his biology crueler than words. “My beast was trying to protect you. When I hurt you, my beast turned on me.”
“Oh.” Vale rubbed a hand over his face. There was a spot that he was aching to touch, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He was sure his belly was swollen from Zyke, and soft, and fuck he wanted to rub it. But that would make everything that had just happened real.
“There’s a chance I could get…” Vale trailed off, finally not able to resist. He whimpered as he placed a hand on his belly, so full and sated that it was nearly unbearable. “I’m not in heat, but there’s still a chance.”
It was terrifying. He wasn’t ready. He was pretty sure he never would be.
“We could go to the clinic and get implants if you’re worried,” said Zyke, touching Vale’s shoulder and leaving his palm to rest there. “I’ll have to go out and buy condoms, too, but they don’t tend to work too well with shifters like me.”
“Why?” asked Vale, suddenly burning to know. He rocked ahead as Zyke’s knot finally started to soften. It slipped from him all at once, something incredibly sharp biting into him as it did.
“Ow.” He jerked away, grabbing at his ass and the fluids that were pouring from him. The sting was already gone as if it hadn’t been real, but he’d felt it. He was certain. “What the fuck?”
“Because of that,” said Zyke, rubbing a hand over his face. His normally tanned skin looked bleak with his flush faded, dark smudges beneath his eyes. He looked like he could sleep for days, then go for a nap. “Feline shifters have some extra accessories. I probably didn’t tell you about that particular one.”
“What?” Vale looked at his fingers. They were smeared with white, more of it dripping from him as he tried and failed to clench himself shut. “What the hell was that?”
“Barbs,” said Zyke, rolling to his knees before standing. He staggered his way to the bathroom, flicking the light on and disappearing within. Vale padded after him, clutching at his hole when a rush of cum attempted to seep from him.
“You could have warned me,” said Vale, wincing with each step. His belly felt strange—like things had shifted around inside. And his ass was on fire.
“I didn’t know that was gonna happen,” said Zyke, turning the water on and dipping his head down to drink directly from the tap.
The words thudded into Vale’s chest, sinking its claws in and cutting deep. Zyke hadn’t known—which meant he hadn’t wanted it. Zyke had probably trusted him not to let it get too far, and Vale had smashed that trust into a thousand shards of regret and distrust.
Vale turned away, crawling back into the filthy nest. He heard the shower flick on and off, but he made no move to get up, even though his skin crawled. When Zyke snuggled into the nest behind him, placing a soft kiss on his shoulder, he barely contained his flinch.
“We’ll go to the clinic in the morning. Sleep well.”
Vale let his eyes drift shut, but he didn’t sleep a wink.
Chapter Eight
A day away and the house had fallen into an alpha-induced lull. Caleb winced when Vale limped through the front door, probably looking like three steps from death, but it was Sander who spoke up first.
“Have fun?”
Vale shot him a glare, marching to the kitchen and tossing his keys in the bowl on top of the fridge. There were three plates on the counter and a minefield of crumbs around the toaster that had melted cheese crusted on the top. Letting out a sigh, Vale reached for the washcloth that had inexplicably turned stiff, sticking out at a straight angle as he lifted it.
He tossed it into the laundry, grabbing a new cloth from the closet in the hall before heading back to the sink. Starting up the hot water, he poured liquid soap into it, waiting until bubbles and steam were piling high before he grabbed the first dish.
“I’ll dry.”
Vale didn’t turn to the sound of Sander’s voice, only nodding slowly. Despite the marks that were almost healed to the touch on his neck, the move still pulled something deeper, the stiffness traveling all the way down his spine.
He’d noticed the pull as soon as he’d snuck out of Zyke’s house—leaving the way he’d come. The climb down had been treacherous, especially in the early morning hours with dew clinging to every surface, and Zyke’s snores inexplicably calling to him.
I had to get out of there.
He shook his head, trying to rid himself of the image of Zyke’s face, soft in sleep with a line from his pillow across his cheek. His hair had been ruffled and sticking in too many directions to count. He’d been so exhausted that he hadn’t roused when Vale had headed into the shower, staying under the water until his knees had started to wobble.
It was easy enough to stop at his parents’ place, grabbing his keys and going back to his campus house before anyone noticed that he’d slipped out. The house had been surprisingly quiet, all things considered.
“You okay?” asked Sander, sidling up beside Vale with a towel in hand. He hissed as he grabbed the plate, whimpering and shaking his hand out. “Hell, that’s hot. How do you stand it?”
“Is it?” Vale glanced at his hands, which had turned pink from the heat, the contrast bright against the white suds. He’d been too distracted to notice.
Grabbing the rest of the dishes, he dropped them into the sink, wiping down the counters as he went. It wasn’t as bad as it might have been. He’d left for three weeks after his last sibling had been born, and he’d come back to a disaster.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Sander skimmed over the plate with the towel before placing it in the cupboard. “You don’t look like you want to, but I thought I’d offer. You’ve helped us out so many times, so if you ever need something, we’re here for you.”
Vale gripped the edge of the counter. Don’t cry.
“I’d rather not,” said Vale, reaching for his neck. He couldn’t stop touching it, poking the small scabs that itched and tingled at the same time. He’d read about mating bonds dozens of times in different textbooks, but he’d never paid close enough attention to it. It was a type of magic that he hadn’t thought he would even need to deal with, so why would he?
“Is that a bite? Holy shit.” Sander reached for him, tugging at the collar of Vale’s shirt, probably without thinking.
Vale reacted before he realized it, kicking out and letting out a hiss at the same time. A plate shattered against the floor, Sander’s eyes going wide as he stumbled. Suds clung to Vale’s hands as he backed away, putting himself in the corner of the room before slapping his own hand over the bite.
“Don’t touch me.” He was trembling, his legs shaking so badly that he was grateful for the wall, otherwise he would have ended up on the floor. His exhaustion weighed heavy, tugging his limbs toward the floor as his head swam, a day’s worth of no food and burning too many calories draining his resilience to nothing.
