Secrets Well Kept, page 16
“Did you like the movie?” They spilled out of the theater with the rest of the crowd and out into Jackson Square.
There it was. The very question she’d been dreading. “I really did.” Think quickly or you’re going to get caught out for not paying attention. Turn the tables on her. “What was your favorite part?” Mary quickened her pace to keep up with Nora’s longer strides.
“I particularly enjoyed the vicar’s speech at Carol’s funeral.”
“Yes, that was really moving.” There, that was no doubt true. Still, she knew she couldn’t keep up the charade for long. Perhaps if she changed the topic… “It’s a beautiful night, and it’s early yet. Would you like to take a stroll? We could look at the Christmas displays in the store windows.”
“Sure. Will you be warm enough?”
“I think so. How about you?”
“I’ll be fine.” Nora wrapped her coat more tightly around her as they slowed to a more leisurely pace. “Afterward, if you’d like, we could go back to my place and I’ll make a pot of coffee. That is, if it’s not too late for you.”
Mary’s pulse quickened. “I’d love that. I told the housemother I’d be out past curfew because of the movie.”
“I bet that went over well.” Nora rolled her eyes. “I lived in W-1 when I first moved here. That woman has all the personality of a corpse.”
She laughed. “Do you know many corpses?”
“No, but I’d bet they don’t smile much.”
To Mary’s delight, Nora imitated the housemother’s expression. “Wow. That’s spot-on. I’m impressed. Do you make it a habit to study people so closely?”
Nora shrugged. “When you’re as introverted as I am, you tend to watch rather than interact. I’ve been paying attention from the sidelines all my life.”
“Really? I think you always should be front and center.”
Nora stopped walking and faced her. “Why is that?”
“B-because…” I can’t think straight when you look at me like that. “Because you’re a remarkable woman. What’s that old expression? Don’t hide your light under a bushel.”
“First, I’m too tall for a bushel to hide me, and secondly, I can’t imagine what it is you think you see in me. I’m just…me.”
“You’re a bona fide doctor. There aren’t many women doctors that I know of, nor I would guess, many women scientists. That’s what you are, isn’t it? A scientist?”
“Yes. I have a doctoral degree in Physics from Columbia University.”
“See? That, right there, is mighty special. Heck, I don’t know that I can even spell the word physics, never mind be an expert in it.”
“I’m sure you don’t give yourself enough credit. I’ve seen the way you pick up the nuances of the fluctuations in the unit and how you make adjustments to compensate. You’ve really got a knack for it.”
Mary’s head swelled with pride. “You think so? Heck, that’s nothing more than dumb luck.”
“Nobody’s that lucky all the time. You should learn to take a compliment.”
“Pot, kettle, Dr. Lindstrom.”
“Fair enough.” They reached the windows of the A & P store. “Are you ready to head up the hill? My place isn’t more than a ten-minute walk from here.”
Butterflies took up residence in Mary’s stomach. “Sure. Lead the way.” For the first time, she was going to be all alone with Nora—no other movie-goers, no fellow diners in the cafeteria, no other cubicle operators—just the two of them. With Sam, Mary tired of having to fend him off, so she mostly avoided being alone with him. At least in public, he had to behave himself. But the idea of being alone with Nora thrilled her. This was all so confusing. Why did she feel the way she did…about a woman? Because she’s the female version of what you’ve been longing for. Warmth suffused her body, displacing the cold of the late-December night air.
“…made you want to come to Oak Ridge?”
She frowned. If you don’t quit daydreaming, she’s going to think you’re a complete snowflake. “I’m sorry. What did you ask?”
“Never mind. I’m sure I’m boring you.”
“What? No! Never! Please, tell me what you asked.”
“I asked what brought you to this place? Where are you from?”
“Oh. I’m from Philadelphia, which sounds far more exotic and interesting than it was, believe me.”
“That’s a good-size city.”
“Well, my neighborhood felt more like a small town.” Mary proceeded to explain about her job at Meyer’s, her father’s enlistment, her mother’s incessant badgering, and her desperate letter to Louise looking to get away from all of that.
“I see.”
Mary hung her head. “I’m sorry. I’m sure that was way more information than you were looking for.”
Nora squeezed her hand and released it. “On the contrary, that was the perfect amount of information.” She stopped in front of a small Flat Top on Georgia Avenue. “We’re here.” She opened the door and motioned for Mary to precede her inside.
Her eyes flitted over the space. It wasn’t big, but compared to her dorm room, it was a palace.
“I’m sorry. I know it’s not much.”
“Are you kidding?” Mary spun around. “It’s perfect, and it’s so quiet up here.”
“Want a tour?”
“Yes, please.”
Nora showed her around the place.
“Your own shower. Oh, my God, that must be heavenly.”
“You can’t even imagine.”
“You’re right, I can’t.” They arrived back in the living room.
“Make yourself comfortable. I’ll put the coffee on.”
Mary hung her coat on the coatrack inside the front door and walked over to the radio. “Can I put on some music?”
“Sure.”
She switched on the radio and found a station playing Glenn Miller’s “Moonlight Serenade.” She began to sway to the music with her eyes closed. When the song ended, she opened her eyes to find Nora staring at her from a vantage point with her back against the kitchen sink. Mary wasn’t sure anyone had ever looked at her the way Nora looked at her right now. The intensity of it made her mouth go dry. I want to kiss you, but I know I shouldn’t. I mean, it’s wrong, right?
The music transitioned to a Frank Sinatra ballad, and Mary beckoned Nora to join her.
“I-I don’t know how to dance.”
“That’s okay. It’s just the two of us, and you only have to know how to sway.”
Tentatively, slowly, Nora bridged the distance between them. She placed her hand in Mary’s and allowed Mary to take her other hand and place it around her waist.
Mary breathed in the scent of her shampoo, and a light floral scent she couldn’t quite identify. She rested her cheek on Nora’s collarbone and moved in closer. The moment their bodies touched, she felt an explosion inside—a quivering in her lower abdomen that was completely new to her—and a tingling sensation throughout her lower limbs and chest.
Nora’s heart galloped next to her ear, and puffs of air caressed the top of her head.
“You’re doing great,” she murmured into the cotton of Nora’s dress. She got no reply, but she didn’t need one; she knew everything she needed to know by the beating of Nora’s heart. She wasn’t the only one feeling things she shouldn’t.
The last notes of the song faded away, and their bodies stilled. Finally, Mary said, “I think I’ll take that coffee now.”
“Right.” Nora backed away and tucked a strand of loose hair behind her left ear.
Mary noted that her hands were shaking. She memorized the way Nora moved as she walked into the kitchen; her eyes trailed down Nora’s back to her buttocks as she reached for two cups from the cupboard and poured the coffee. Unable to stop herself, she came up behind her and ran her hands along Nora’s sides. When Nora turned, her face was flushed, and her lips were parted.
Mary traced Nora’s lips with her fingers. Her eyes opened wider, but she made no move to stop her. That was all the invitation required. If this is wrong, I don’t want to be right. Mary pushed up on tiptoes, wrapped her fingers in luxurious blond locks, and pulled Nora’s mouth down to meet hers.
“Wait. I’m not sure…”
Mary persisted, and any resistance fell away.
Nora’s lips were soft and tasted sweet, like strawberry pie. She pushed further, wanting more, and Nora responded in kind. When their tongues collided, it was like fireworks on the Fourth of July. They melted together, their mouths moving in perfect, breathless synchrony. How can something so wrong feel this good?
She lost all track of time, for in this moment, in this place, time ceased to exist. Vaguely, she was aware of the two of them gliding across the floor and into the bedroom, their hands and bodies moving of their own volition. “Wait!”
Nora blinked and stepped back. “You’re right. This is… I’m not sure what this is, honestly.”
Mary bit her lip. In the past, when she’d envisioned losing her virginity, it scared her. Now… “I’m not sure what it is, either. I only know that I want this, whatever this is. I really, really want this.” She moved back into Nora’s embrace, and with a shaky hand, ran her fingers over sensitive skin.
Nora gasped and closed her eyes. “God help me, I want this too.”
“I don’t know what to do; I’ve never done this before.”
“I don’t either. Are you certain this is what you want?” Nora’s eyes searched hers.
“I’m more certain of this than my own name.”
“Okay, then. We’ll learn together.” Nora’s fingers trembled as she unzipped Mary’s dress and slid it off her shoulders.
Mary held Nora’s gaze as she stepped out of her shoes, slip, and hose. Then she undressed Nora and the two of them tumbled onto the bed.
The cold sheets felt wonderful on her overheated skin. Then other things felt wonderful—otherworldly—and so very, very right.
“Mary?”
“Hmm?”
“Mary?” Long fingers traveled the length of her naked body as she rose back to the surface. Her eyes popped open to be greeted by a marvelously disheveled and equally unclothed Nora. “It’s getting late. We’ve got to get you home before the housemother screams bloody murder.”
“Mmm.” She stretched languorously. “What time is it?”
“Eleven o’clock.”
She sat bolt upright. “Eleven?”
“Yes.”
“Oh, my God.” Hurriedly, and with Nora’s help in finding all her various layers, she dressed and applied new lipstick. “Do I look any different?”
“Any different than what?” Nora, now also fully clothed, leaned against the door frame.
“You know what I mean. I do look like we…” Mary bit her lip and then blurted out, “Do I look like I just lost my virginity?”
“I don’t know how that’s supposed to make someone look, but I can tell you that you look beautiful.”
“Sweet talker.” She shrugged into her coat, snatched up her purse, and ran for the door. Nora hadn’t moved, so she backtracked to her. “I…” She searched Nora’s face. Her eyes still smoldered, and her lips were bruised from their kisses. All she wanted was to take her back to bed. “Thank you for the most amazing Christmas ever.”
“I could say the same.”
Mary took two steps away and came back again. This time she kissed her thoroughly. “That was a first I’ll never, ever forget.”
“Me too.” This time, Nora followed her to the door. “Should I come with you? Make sure you get home all right?”
“Yes. No. If you do, I’ll do something I shouldn’t in public and we’ll both be in the soup. I’ll be fine.”
Nora opened the door for her.
“Will I see you tomorrow?”
“Probably. I’ll be doing my normal walk-throughs.”
“I didn’t mean on the job.”
“I know. You’d better get going.”
“Nora?” Panic made her heart race. “I will see you again like this, won’t I?”
In response, Nora leaned down and kissed her tenderly.
“I wish I didn’t have to go.”
“Me too. But the reality is that you do. Be safe.”
“Dream of me.”
“Of that, I have no doubt.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Six strides from the living room windows to the wall with the radio, six strides back. Nora knew this because she’d been wearing out the floor from one direction to the other for the better part of an hour. Finally, she sat on the couch. Less than a minute later, she jumped up again to pace to-and-fro. “What could you possibly have been thinking?” She gesticulated wildly while berating herself. “What possessed you? She works for you—under your supervision. Do you have any idea how bad that looks? Did you think about the impropriety? No? Let’s not even talk about the perception. And what if someone catches you looking at her like she’s your next meal? What then?”
She plopped down on the couch again and lowered her head into her hands. She was certain it had to be the lack of sleep talking. After Mary left, she’d poured out the burnt coffee and cleaned the percolator. She’d lain down and prayed for sleep, but it would not take her. Instead, she tossed and turned for hours, reliving their time together, remembering the way Mary’s back arched as she…
Nora popped up yet again. This time, she flipped on the radio to distract herself with the news. That proved to be another bad decision, since the first sounds she heard were the strains of Glenn Miller and his Orchestra. There was Mary, standing in the very spot Nora now occupied, swaying to the music and looking more sensuous than any pin-up model.
She turned the dial and tuned in the CBS Network. Perhaps she wasn’t too late to hear Edward R. Murrow reporting from Berlin, or Eric Sevareid reporting from London or Washington.
Her mind strayed to Mary, sitting at her cubicle, her face a mask of concentration, assuming anyone could concentrate the night after Christmas. She checked her watch. It was almost eleven o’clock. Mary would be getting off work right about now. Did you get any sleep when you went back to your room? Or did you lie awake wondering what just happened, as I did? Are you as confused as I am?
In truth, she hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep last night. Mary’s scent lingered on the sheets and pillowcases, permeated her nostrils, and bedeviled her no matter which way she turned. Images of their evening together played like a movie every time she closed her eyes. Mary, her eyes open wide in fear when the Nazi took Mrs. Miniver hostage. Mary’s hand gripping hers in the theater. Mary, her head thrown back in passion. Mary, so uncertain where she stood when they parted.
Nora knew she’d been less than fully encouraging as she ushered her out the door. But what else could she do or say? This was uncharted territory. She needed time to process her emotions—time to understand what all this meant and what to do about it. It wouldn’t be fair to make promises she wasn’t certain she could keep, would it?
You’re making excuses for behaving badly because you’re scared. That girl gave herself to you last night. Yes, it was your first time, but it was hers too, and she’s a lot younger than you. She’s frightened and questioning, just like you. How would you feel in her place?
She frowned. Had she been too dispassionate today on the control room floor when she’d passed Mary’s cubicle without so much as a glance in her direction? No. Work was work. If they had any chance to have a relationship, they would have to compartmentalize. Nora absolutely could not play favorites on the job, nor acknowledge anything beyond a supervisor-subordinate role. Mary simply would have to accept that.
She nodded, satisfied that the parameters and boundaries were firmly set in her mind. She switched off the radio and turned off the lights. Tonight, she would get some much-needed sleep.
Mary checked the area around the grove of large trees to the left of the entrance to The-Chapel-on-the-Hill for the fourth time.
“What are you doing?”
She yelped and put her hand to her heart. “Oh, my goodness. You scared me to death.”
“You asked to meet here, so I assumed you were expecting me,” Nora said practically.
“I was. But you can’t sneak up on a girl like that.”
“I wasn’t sneaking. I walked right up. If you hadn’t been so busy checking for spies, or whatever it is you’re up to, you’d have seen me coming.”
“I wanted to be sure we were alone.”
Nora gave an exaggerated glance over each shoulder and stage-whispered, “I think we’re alone.”
“That’s not funny, Nora Lindstrom. I’m being serious here.”
“I’m sorry. If I had been suspicious, the way you were skulking around would’ve made me more so than I already was.”
She folded her arms across her chest. “You’re the one who’s been ignoring me because you’re afraid people will think something.”
“I haven’t been ignoring you.”
“What do you call what you’ve been doing? It’s been three days, and you haven’t so much as glanced my way as you walk past.”
“That’s because we’re working. You’re supposed to be monitoring the D unit, and I’m supposed to be supervising. That’s why we’re here.”
“You don’t need to lecture me about my role and yours. I know you’re smarter than me and higher ranking.”
“What? That’s not what I’m saying. I’m simply stating the facts. Work is work. When we’re working, you’re just like anybody else I supervise. I can’t give you special treatment or pay you more attention than I do any of the other girls.”
“I know that,” she snapped.
“Then I fail to see what it is you’re mad about.”
“We…” Mary checked their surroundings again and lowered her voice. “We did what we did and you haven’t even acknowledged that. I don’t know about you, but that was pretty important to me. In fact, it’s probably the most important thing that’s ever happened in my life.” She choked on a sob and angrily wiped at her eyes.
