‘It wasn’t a pill, it was a tablet. No one gives perfectly good drugs away for free.’ He drained the bottle in three deep swigs then held his hands out for more. ‘I said I had a headache and he said he had a tablet.’

  ‘That does not mean it was a paracetamol.’

  ‘Should we get help?’ I asked as he folded forward onto his knees and began flexing his back and neck. ‘There must be first aid somewhere?’

  ‘I’ll be alright,’ he said, breathing out slowly as he pulled his shoulders back. ‘Let me do some stretches. Some nice centring stretches. Bit of cow and cat.’

  I looked up at Maddie and Em. Yoga? Matthew Chase was doing yoga in the middle of the VIP area at a music festival when Jared Leto really could show up at any second? If I wasn’t worried about him before, I was now.

  ‘Did you call Paul?’ Emelie asked.

  From the look on her face, I could tell she already knew the answer.

  ‘I had to ask him something about Mum’s wedding,’ I said, hating myself for lying even more than I already hated myself for calling Paul in the first place.

  ‘I told you there was nothing wrong.’ Her face was turning redder and redder as she spoke, and I knew it couldn’t possibly be sunburn because no one took better care of their skin than Emelie. ‘Why couldn’t you stay out of it?’

  ‘Sorry, I wasn’t trying to make trouble,’ I said, glancing down at Matthew who had started to purr loudly and rub himself against Maddie’s legs. ‘But I knew something was wrong and you wouldn’t talk to me and you’ve been so upset and I wanted to help and—’

  ‘And if I wanted your help, I would have asked for it!’ she yelled. Several people turned to look at us, one of them brazenly pulling his sunglasses down to get a better view. ‘Why couldn’t you do as I asked? I don’t want you involved in my relationship!’

  ‘Because Paul’s my brother?’ I asked, stung.

  ‘Yes!’ she replied as though it was obvious. And really, it was. ‘And because I’m not ready to talk about it yet, with you or anybody. I know you love to discuss your problems and have us pull you back together when you fall apart but I’m not like that, I’m not you. If things are difficult in my life, I fix them.’

  I threw out my hands, hoping to pick an answer out of thin air.

  ‘Then what’s the point in having friends?’ I asked.

  ‘That’s a good question,’ she answered, her accent getting stronger and stronger with every word. ‘Because right now I don’t feel like I have any friends.’

  ‘I know this isn’t very good timing,’ Maddie interrupted as Emelie and I stared each other down. ‘But I do think we ought to do something about Matthew.’

  I looked over to see he was now shirtless, licking his hand and rubbing it against his face.

  ‘Matthew?’ I said, eyes opening wide as he reached for his fly. ‘Nope, we’re not taking our trousers off. Bad kitty.’

  ‘Miaow?’ he replied, looking up at me with big blank eyes.

  ‘The man that gave him the tablet, he wasn’t wearing a neon-green vest by any chance?’ I asked Maddie.

  She nodded. ‘And a cowboy hat.’

  ‘Why did you call him?’ Emelie demanded as Matthew curled up on the floor and closed his eyes.

  ‘Because you’ve been shutting me out,’ I answered truthfully. Honesty was better late than never. ‘I wanted to help but I didn’t know how.’

  ‘I’ve been shutting you out? You’ve been shutting me out. You haven’t included me in any of your wedding plans, I never see you, you cancel on me all the time. It’s hard to explain what’s going on in my life when I can’t get more than fifteen minutes of your time to myself. This is so you, Rachel, you are so selfish.’

  Selfish? I was selfish?

  ‘I didn’t want to drag you into the wedding plans when I had a feeling things weren’t going that well with you and Paul, how is that selfish?’ I protested as I picked Matthew’s shirt up off the floor and tried to pull it back over his head. But the moment I touched him, he promptly rolled onto his back and tried to scratch me.

  ‘It wasn’t out of concern for me, it was out of concern for yourself,’ Em countered. ‘You didn’t care if I felt bad, you only cared that you would feel awkward, so you cut me out.’

  And the second she said it, I knew it was at least partly true.

  ‘I know he told you he was going to propose,’ she added, the heat gone from her voice, leaving her raw and fragile. ‘I know you’ve been waiting for it to happen.’

  ‘He told you he told me he was planning to propose?’ I repeated, trying to work out the mental arithmetic.

  Em tipped her head back and looked up at the clear blue sky, her curly hair rippling almost all the way down to her bum.

  ‘He proposed, then he told me he’d already told you.’

  ‘Paul proposed?’ It was like my brain had short-circuited. Surely I hadn’t been so caught up in work and moving and not-wedding planning to miss my best friend and little brother’s engagement?

  ‘A few months ago,’ she confirmed. ‘And I said no.’

  The crowd around us gasped like my own personal Greek chorus and I stared at Emelie and it was like I was seeing her for the first time in years. Full red lips, Snow White skin and an unbearable amount of pain in her eyes.

  ‘You turned him down?’

  She nodded and I saw tears welling up as she tried to fight them back. ‘I said I wanted to think about it and he said if that was the case, there wasn’t much point. We’re still figuring things out, it’s confusing. I wanted to talk to you about it but how could I? He’s your brother and I’m not stupid, Rachel, you have been avoiding me.’

  ‘Not because I don’t want to see you,’ I choked, realizing I was crying now as well. ‘Because I was worried something bad had happened between you and Paul and I didn’t know how to handle it. Why did you turn him down? What has he done?’

  ‘Don’t be mad at him, he hasn’t done anything wrong,’ Em said with a sad smile. ‘But things have been not great between us for a while, I thought they would get better when we moved in together but no. I’m working like crazy and when he’s not at the shop, he just wants to lie around and play computer games. I want to have a family and travel and have adventures; he wants to get high and play Call of Duty. We’ve grown apart, we don’t want the same things, all the clichés. I’m not the one for him and he’s not the one for me.’

  So that was it. Paul had proposed but Emelie turned him down. And I had been a short-sighted, selfish monster, leaving her completely alone when she needed someone the most. I felt dreadful.

  ‘I couldn’t talk to you about it because he’s your brother. I’m just your friend. If we break up, you’re going to choose him,’ she reasoned. ‘You already have my replacement all lined up.’ She nodded over at Maddie as the tears spilled on to her cheeks. ‘No offense.’

  ‘None taken,’ Maddie replied, her arms looped around Cat Matthew’s neck as he nuzzled her armpit.

  ‘Oh, come here, you plank,’ I said, stumbling into my friend and wrapping her up in the biggest, tightest hug I could muster. ‘I might be stuck with Paul because he’s family, but you’re stuck with me because we chose each other. I love you, Em. Even if I am a selfish twat who really should know better than to avoid things rather than confronting them. When you didn’t get engaged, I assumed he’d bottled it because he’s a moron, then I felt so awkward about asking you to help with the wedding. It never occurred to me that you would have turned him down. I’m a complete prat, a total idiot.’

  ‘Hey,’ she said, snorting back tears inside my hair. ‘Please don’t talk about my best friend like that. I should have told you, you’re not psychic. And I suppose I have been a little bit passive aggressive recently.’

  ‘Not at all,’ I lied. She got a pass on this one. She got all the passes because I loved her.

  ‘And I’m sorry for what I said about your wedding,’ she went on. ‘Sorry to you and to Maddie. I’m sure it will be so beautiful, and I really want to help however I can.’

  ‘About that.’ I loosened my grip around Emelie’s shoulders and turned to look at my future sister-in-law. ‘This probably isn’t the right time, but I talked to Dan and we’re thinking maybe Varden Hall isn’t entirely right for us?’

  ‘Yeah, I think you’re probably right,’ she agreed, gently scratching Matthew behind his ears as he kicked off his shoes and made muffins on the sand. ‘My assistant emailed me this morning to say one of the couples of Love Island booked it for their wedding and if that’s not a sign, I don’t know what is.’

  ‘Oh, tabarnak,’ Em gasped, hurling herself to the ground just in time as Matthew shuffled out of his shorts and boxers in one swift move. He was impressively dexterous for someone who was barely conscious.

  ‘I think we should get him out of here,’ Maddie suggested as Emelie yanked his underwear back into place before he added himself to my Bride-to-Be To-Do list. ‘Do you think the three of us will be able to carry him?’

  ‘I think we’ll be able to drag him by his hair,’ I replied, positioning myself under his left arm while Em took his right. ‘We can get him to the gate.’

  ‘I can’t believe this is how you’re spending your first day at your first ever festival,’ Emelie groaned as we set off on our slow, plodding journey, surrounded by onlookers, none of whom offered to help despite the fact half of them looked as though they’d come straight from bench pressing a tractor.

  ‘I can,’ I said, managing half a laugh. ‘This feels deeply appropriate for us.’

  And as we staggered out of IndioFest with Matthew in our arms and Maddie leading the way and our day ending before it had really even begun, I found myself smiling. Grateful for my friends, for everything we’d been through in the past and everything we’d go through in the future because even though I loved Dan completely and was excited to get married, I knew I already had my soulmates with me.

  Even if one of them currently thought he was a cat.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Three days later, we reached our last evening in Palm Springs and the rest of the trip had been uneventful in the best possible way. The second day of IndioFest was far more successful than the first, even if Matthew decided to sit it out and stayed at the house, drinking the eight bottles of green juice he’d bought from a health food store he found on Goop and meditating alone until he stopped craving sushi. As I’d predicted, Emelie and Maddie were already the best of friends and already making plans to hang out when we got home. I’d watched with pride as they held on to each other, singing along to every word of The Stills’ set at the end of the night, fireworks exploding in the sky and lighting up their shining faces.

  The rest of our days were spent mostly in the pool, although we did break our cover to attend a wine class at a steakhouse on the main strip where I discovered I enjoyed Pinot Noirs and Zinfandels, but I did not care for Merlot in the slightest. Or at least that’s what I told Matthew, and he seemed to approve. The reality was, if it was red and wet, I would drink it. Truly, I would never be a connoisseur when I’d spent so many years tuning my palate to translate the finer subtleties of all the different flavours in a packet of Haribo Starmix.

  ‘I’ve told Dan you’re coming to stay with us,’ I told Emelie as I floated around the pool, back on my swan. The sun had painted the sky with the most incredible colours, blues that ran into purples that ran into pinks, and I couldn’t quite believe that this time tomorrow, we’d all be on a plane. ‘He said he’s got the spare room all set up.’

  ‘And you’re more than welcome to stay with me and Tom if they get too annoying,’ Maddie offered, sipping a cocktail out of a coconut while riding a newly purchased inflatable unicorn around the pool. ‘The house is enormous. I got lost once, couldn’t find my way back to the kitchen for an entire hour.’

  ‘I won’t pretend I’m not tempted,’ Em laughed before looking over at Matthew. ‘What about you? Aren’t you going to offer to save me from the streets?’

  ‘No,’ he answered immediately from his sun lounger without looking over. ‘You’re rich and I don’t have the room.’

  ‘This is why I didn’t tell him about my situation,’ she said, pointing accusingly across the garden. ‘He doesn’t love me at all.’

  ‘I tolerate you all equally,’ he replied. ‘But I’m too lazy to make new friends so I’m stuck with you.’

  I dropped one leg into the pool, letting it warm up in the water as my swan bumped against the concrete side then bobbed along to the deep end. Maddie smiled at me from her unicorn and I saw Emelie peck Matthew on the top of his head as she disappeared inside, Matthew blowing her a kiss in return.

  Then no one said anything for a while. No one needed to.

  ‘This place is paradise,’ Emelie declared when she returned to the garden with a fresh bottle of rosé and a giant bag of Ruffles. ‘Rachel, you should get married here.’

  ‘About that,’ I replied, tossing my sunglasses onto the grass. The sun was almost all the way down behind the mountains and I really didn’t need them anymore. ‘When I was talking to Dan, he had a suggestion. How would you three feel about Vegas?’

  Matthew immediately popped up out of his seat and cast his new sunglasses, a gift from me, Maddie and Emelie, aside. ‘Are you serious?’

  ‘Deadly.’

  ‘When?’ Em looked almost as happy about the idea as I did.

  ‘New Year’s Eve,’ I replied, my cheeks aching from the width of my smile. ‘Just us.’

  ‘What about family?’ she asked, twisting the end of her ponytail around her finger.

  ‘Dan’s going to ask his mum and dad and your sister,’ I answered, looking to Maddie. ‘I’m sure my mum will want to come, Dad can if he wants to and, if it’s OK with you, we’ll invite Paul. But you’re my maid of honour, so if he wants to come, he has to be able to work with that.’

  ‘It’s your wedding, he will come, and we will behave perfectly,’ she said with complete conviction. ‘It will be perfect.’

  ‘Have you made the to-do list already?’ Matthew asked with a smirk, but it disappeared when I shook my head.

  ‘It’s all done. Dan booked the hotel and the flights, I’ve ordered a dress from Whistles, there’s nothing else to plan.’

  ‘Just as well, since you did a terrible job with your Bride-to-Be To-Do list,’ Em pointed out. ‘We leave tomorrow morning and you still haven’t seen a penis. Shame on you, Rachel, shame on all of us.’

  With a loud and theatrical sigh, Matthew stood up, stripped off his t-shirt and huffed at the top of his voice. ‘Fine!’ he shouted. ‘If it’ll complete the list, you can see my knob.’

  ‘Matthew, no!’ I yelled but it was too late. His swim shorts were gone and without a word of warning, my most prudish friend sprinted across the lawn and cannonballed into the pool, completely naked. Maddie and I clung to our inflatables, but it was futile. I rolled off my swan trying to swim and laugh at the same time, another impossible ask, and Maddie held her coconut cocktail high up above the waterline, her head well below.

  ‘Are you happy?’ Matthew asked, swiping his hair out of his face as he broke the surface. ‘Fifteen years of friendship destroyed for the sake of a bloody list?’

  ‘You didn’t let me finish,’ I gasped, clinging to the side of the pool like my life depended on it as Maddie emerged, spluttering. ‘I was going to say we didn’t have to finish the list. I’ve been thinking about it and it might be time to let them go, they used to be helpful, now they just stress me out. I don’t need them anymore.’

  ‘Well, that would have been nice to know before I flashed you all,’ he fumed, flapping around in the water, totally starkers.

  ‘For the record, I thought it was a nice penis,’ Em said. ‘You’ve always been so prudish, I just assumed there was something wrong with it.’

  ‘Tip-top cock,’ Maddie agreed with a thumbs up. ‘Lucky Stephen.’

  ‘I hate you all,’ Matthew muttered as he doggy-paddled towards the stairs, cupping his manhood with his hands. ‘Emelie, throw me my shorts and pour me a drink, not in that order.’

  ‘You don’t hate us,’ I said, smiling at my friends and basking in the knowledge that this was one of those moments. One I’d remember for the rest of my life. ‘You love us so much.’

  And even though he didn’t say it out loud, he didn’t have to.

  Because what they say is true. When it’s real love, you just know.

  About the Author

  Lindsey Kelk is a Sunday Times bestselling author, podcaster and internet oversharer. Born and brought up in Doncaster, South Yorkshire, she worked in London as a children’s editor before writing her first book, I Heart New York, and moving to Brooklyn. Lindsey’s novels include the I Heart series, The Christmas Wish and On a Night Like This. She now lives in Los Angeles with her husband.

  You can follow Lindsey on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram @LindseyKelk, and sign up for her newsletter at www.LindseyKelk.com.

  Also by Lindsey Kelk

  I Heart series

  I Heart New York

  I Heart Hollywood

  I Heart Paris

  I Heart Vegas

  I Heart London

  I Heart Christmas

  I Heart Forever

  I Heart Hawaii

  Girl series

  About a Girl

  What a Girl Wants

  A Girl’s Best Friend

  Standalones

  The Single Girl’s To-Do List

  Always the Bridesmaid

  We Were on a Break

  One in a Million

  In Case You Missed It

  On a Night Like This

  The Christmas Wish

  Cinders & Sparks children’s book series

  Magic at Midnight

  Fairies in the Forest

  Goblins and Gold

  Novellas available on ebook

  Jenny Lopez Has a Bad Week

  Jenny Lopez Saves Christmas

  Jenny Lopez is Getting Married

 

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