Killing Me Softly: A Romantic Suspense Anthology, page 179
His insides twisted when he looked at her. She was hooked up to all sorts of machines, including a ventilator. Seeing her with a tube stuck down her throat filled him with sadness. He pulled a chair to her bedside and sat down. He tugged her hand into his and was careful not to mess up the tubes sticking in her hand.
"Madeline. I'm here, baby. The plan worked—except for you getting shot. That wasn’t part of the deal. Admiral Henson is no more. They arrested him when we raided the building. If I had gotten there sooner maybe you wouldn’t be laying here like this. That motherfucker shot you just as we blew the back wall." Noah rubbed the top of her hand with the pad of his thumb. "Seeing you on the ground was harder than seeing my men that day in Mexico. You were covered in blood. It's not something I'll soon forget. I was supposed to protect you—I feel like I failed today. But I swear to you, Madeline, pull through this, and I will devote the rest of my life to taking care of you. Please, baby." Noah stood and pressed a kiss to the exposed skin on her face. "Come back to me."
Noah sat back down. He held her hand in his and got comfortable. He wasn’t leaving her room—he wasn’t leaving her. He watched the nurses come and go through the night. At first, they told him he couldn’t stay. But when he blew up and nearly punched out a guard, Admiral Crenshaw had ordered them to leave him alone. He knew Noah needed to be there for himself, just as much as he did for her.
Noah didn’t care that he was uncomfortable in the chair. He didn’t care about sleeping. None of those things mattered. The only thing he needed was for Madeline to wake up. And he would sit there for an eternity, if that's what it took.
Because life without her would be meaningless.
19
Madeline could hear a faint beeping sound somewhere in the distance. She felt like she was floating in a space of nothingness. Snippets of memories filtered through her consciousness, reminding her that something had happened—to her. She tried to sit up, only to find a tube connected to her face. Madeline panicked, sending the monitor into overdrive.
"Hey." Noah was peering down at her. "You're safe. Let me call the doctor. Don’t touch that, okay?"
Madeline's stare widened with fear when she realized she had a tube in her throat. She cut her gaze toward the door where Noah stood hollering out into the hallway at someone. He moved back to the bed and brushed her hair away from her face with the palm of his hand.
"You're in the hospital, Madeline. You were shot."
Madeline tensed at his words. Shot. Her eyes fluttered closed as the memory washed over her. Admiral Henson had pointed the gun at her. Just as he pulled the trigger, Madeline recalled hearing an explosion.
"He's behind bars, baby. You did it." Noah leaned down and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "I thought I lost you."
The room became a flurry of activity as doctors and nurses bustled inside. She watched as they checked her vitals, and then slowly and painfully removed the tube from her esophagus. The sensation triggered her gag reflex, causing Madeline to vomit. She couldn’t hold back the tears. Her sobs were a mixture of pain, embarrassment, and relief. Noah gripped her hand in his.
"It's okay. You're okay." He rubbed the soft flesh of her hand with his thumb.
Noah never moved from his perch beside her. Not when they cleaned her up, and not when the doctor performed his examination. She was grateful he was there. Madeline had so many questions about what had transpired.
"All right, Captain Taylor. Your voice is going to be scratchy for a few days, try not to work it too much. Now." The doctor pulled up a chair opposite of Noah. "Let's talk about your recovery. You came into the emergency room with a gunshot to the upper left quadrant of your chest. The bullet entered near the left breast and exited out your left side ribcage. Unfortunately, the bullet nicked your left subclavian artery. We were able to repair the damage, but not without incident. You coded twice on the table."
Madeline tried to hide her fear, but Noah read her like an open book. He squeezed her hand, reassuring her she was alive.
"Your prognosis looks good. As I told your husband."
Noah choked, cutting the doctors' words off. "We aren't married."
"Oh. Forgive me. I just assumed with all the orders Admiral Crenshaw had given, it was because you were Captain Taylor's husband. Anyway. As I was saying and I told him, if you made it through the night, your recovery would be manageable. Seeing that you are awake, I'd say you're going to make a full recovery."
Madeline shot Noah a glance of concern. She wanted to ask, but her throat felt as though she had swallowed a pound of broken glass. Noah seemed to know what she wanted.
"Will she be able to return to duty?"
"Yes. Since she isn't out in the field, there isn't any reason she won't be able to continue her job in the Navy. It won't happen overnight. I have instructed the admiral that you are to be on medical leave for six weeks. He felt that was wise considering the pending trial, anyway. I'm going to keep you here in the ICU another day. After that, if everything looks good, I'll move you down to a rehab room. I suspect you'll be in the hospital another week."
Madeline watched as the doctor stood and pushed his chair back against the wall. "Let me know if you need anything. A nurse will be in to give you further instructions and remove your catheter."
Madeline blinked her eyes and nodded. "Thank you," she rasped out. Her voice sounded like nails on a chalkboard, reminding her how close to death she had come.
Noah reached over and brushed the hair from her face. "Hey, you."
She smiled. "Hey," she garbled out a response. "Can I have some water?" her voice squeaked out.
Noah stood and retrieved a paper cup that he had filled with ice water. He helped her tilt the bed up and then pressed the cup to her lips. "Slowly." He tilted the cup for her, smiling as she slurped at its contents. "Better?" He set the disposable glass down and sat down on the edge of the bed.
Madeline tilted her head. "How long have you been here?"
Noah ran his palm down her arm. "A while."
"You don’t have to stay here. I'm sure you're tired."
"I'm not leaving." Noah pulled her hand to his face and pressed his lips to her knuckles. "I walked away once before. I'm not doing that again unless you send me away, Madeline."
Madeline's eyes welled with tears. Everything that happened had given him back to her—even if she had gotten shot in the process. Noah swiped a tear from her cheek.
"Don't cry. Do you want me here?" She nodded as the words caught in her throat. "Close your eyes and rest. I'll be here when you wake up."
Madeline let her eyes droop, the medication coursing through her veins taking the wheel. The sound of the steady beep and the warmth of Noah's hand in hers gave her a sense of safety. She didn’t want to let go—afraid she was dead, and it had all been a dream. But the constant tickle of his thumb on her skin reminded her she was alive, and Noah was here.
Madeline had slept on and off since having the vent removed from her throat. The doctor said it was expected, since her body was still trying to heal. He was pleased with her progress so far and told Noah he planned to move her into a private room in a couple of hours.
"Have you even slept?" Perez sauntered into the room and plopped down in a chair. "You look like shit."
"Nice to see you, too. And no. I haven't left the hospital."
"Why don't you go to the hotel and get some rest? Shower too, because you are smelling like death. I'll sit with her and call you if something changes."
Noah looked at her still frame. He was apprehensive to leave her alone, but knowing Perez was here made him feel better. Plus, he hadn't really slept in a day.
"Fine. They're supposed to be moving her to a private recovery room on the rehab floor. I'll stop by the store and grab a new cell phone and call you. That way you can let me know if something changes." Noah pressed a kiss to her forehead. "She's been asleep most of the night. If she wakes up, tell her I'll be back."
"Don't worry, Romeo. I'll make sure she knows you went home to clean your nut sack. Now go, before I puke from your stench."
Noah sniffed his armpit. Perez was right. He did smell bad. Noah headed out of the room, making the nurses aware of what he was doing. He informed them that Perez was sitting with her and to let him know if there were any changes regarding Madeline.
When he stepped outside, the sunlight pierced his cornea's, causing him to squint. He hadn't been outside in the daylight in what felt like days. He stood waiting for a cab when Admiral Crenshaw walked up.
"Noah, how's Captain Taylor?"
"Sleeping. Perez is with her while I go to the hotel and change."
"Come on. I’ll give you a lift. I want to speak with you about some things."
Noah followed the admiral to his vehicle and climbed inside. "Can we stop at a store? I need to grab a new cell phone." The admiral tipped his head in response but said nothing more.
It didn't take him long to grab what he needed and climb back into the car. It was awkward sitting beside the man he once called his superior. He hadn't said much, making Noah worry he had bad news.
"Has something changed with Henson's trial?"
"No. He was arraigned this morning. His trial date is set thirty days from now. The Navy isn't wasting any time on him. They want this over and done with. He fucked over a lot of people, not to mention the men he killed."
Noah cringed. He hated thinking about his brothers who died in Mexico. It was still a sensitive topic. "He nearly killed Madeline."
"That too. Noah." The admiral pulled into a parking spot and cut the engine. "Admiral Henson's actions were the reason you and Perez were discharged from the Navy. Due to the suspicious nature and him saying you failed to follow orders, you were blamed for the tragedy caused by him. In light of the information and evidence, the Navy is going to offer you reinstatement. Perez too. He has a set of skills that we can use—his prosthetic leg wouldn’t be an issue."
"Wait. You're telling me I can come back?"
"Yes. You'll have to pass the physical fitness agility test to re-join the SEALS, but after hearing how you did with this situation." He smiled. "I don't have any doubt you'll pass."
"What about Madeline?"
"She'll rejoin her team and likely receive a promotion."
"Do you need an answer right now?"
"No. It's going to take some time getting through the red tape, but I wanted you to know."
"Thank you, Admiral. I am sure Perez is going to be happy to hear the news."
"You aren't though?"
Noah paused. He was thrilled, but at the same time, he knew what being a SEAL meant. He would be gone for months at a time, which left little to no room for relationships. Madeline. Noah wasn’t sure this opportunity was what he wanted.
"I am. But..." Noah glanced out the window.
"You don't want to lose her." The admiral patted his back. "I get it. And the SEALS aren't the only place for you in the Navy, Lieutenant."
Noah nodded his head as he climbed out. He hurried upstairs to his hotel room and let himself inside. After calling the hospital and giving them his new number, along with Perez, Noah took a quick shower. His body was begging him to lie down—which Noah finally conceded to. He was no good to anyone this exhausted. Sleep came quickly once he closed his eyes. And for the first time in years, Noah didn’t have any nightmares. Instead, his dreams were filled with Madeline.
20
Madeline listened to Perez talk about his ranch and how he had grown as a man since being discharged from the military. Madeline was grateful for the distraction. Being in the hospital sucked. When she woke up, she immediately searched for Noah. Perez put her at ease when he told her that Noah had returned to the hotel to shower and get some much-needed rest. Perez had offered to call him, but Madeline refused to wake him.
"Captain Taylor." Admiral Crenshaw stepped into her room.
"Admiral." She smiled at the formidable inspecting her over.
"How are you feeling?"
"Like I've been shot," she remarked, her voice laced with mirth.
"Right. Well, I won't keep you two. I've come with news." Perez stood and ambled closer to Madeline's bedside to listen closer. "First, Admiral Henson is no longer a member of the United States Navy. He was relieved of his duty this morning when he was arraigned in court. The JAG office is moving quickly on this case and wants to have it done in thirty days. As you know, you'll be expected to testify, but I suspect it will be an open and shut case. Now. For the other news. The Navy has elected to reinstate both Lieutenant Murphy and Corporal Perez."
Perez gasped. "Wait, as in, let me back in the Navy? How? I…" his voice trailed off as he glanced down at his leg.
"Your prosthetic leg has no bearing on what we would like you to do in the Navy, son. Your computer skills are something we need, if you'll do it."
"I don't know what to say, sir. For the last couple of years, I've devoted myself to my ranch. I never thought I would have the opportunity to be in the Navy again."
"You can think it over. As for Murphy, he can rejoin the SEALS once he proves his fitness."
"I see." Madeline fought to keep her tears at bay. He deserved the chance to reclaim his career. But she couldn’t help but feel a pang of sadness. "Did he say yes?"
"Actually, no. He didn't. I think he is hesitant to go back to that life for a number of reasons."
"I see." Madeline fiddled with the blanket draped over her body.
"As for you, Captain. As soon as you are released, you will resume command of your intelligence team."
Madeline furrowed her brows. There was a part of her that wasn’t sure if she wanted to return to the Navy. Her entire life, she had wanted to prove herself as worthy of her father's legacy. But being shot had put things in perspective for her. "What if Perez and Noah decline your offer, Admiral." Madeline tilted her head at her commanding officer.
"They will receive full retirement instead. I will see to it myself."
"Admiral, I'm going to need time to mull your news over. Being shot has changed some things for me and I am not sure I want to remain in the Navy."
The admiral's jaw slackened. "I see. Well," he turned to walk out. "I can't say I blame you. Regardless, you three will be taken care of. The United States Navy owes you that much."
Madeline blinked. She hadn’t expected him to be so understanding. "Thank you, sir."
"Good, now get some rest and I'll be in touch."
Madeline glanced at Perez after the admiral walked out. He was watching her with confusion.
"You're thinking of retiring from the Navy?"
"I am. What about you? Do you think you'll go for the reinstatement?"
"Honestly?" Perez stood. "No. Especially now that I know I'll get full retirement benefits."
"What if I told you I was thinking of starting my own security company?"
"Like private security?"
"Yes." Madeline adjusted her blanket. "And I want you to help me."
"Wow, Captain." Perez ran his hand down his face. "I don't know what to say. You know my feelings about my ranch."
"Say you'll do it, and we can set up shop there."
"What about Noah?"
"I'm hoping he'll go for it, too."
"Go for what?" Noah pushed through the door, looking like a brand-new person. "Was that the admiral I just saw in the hallway?"
"Yeah. He came to tell me I've been reinstated." Perez moved toward the door. "I need to get some fresh air. Madeline, I look forward to working together."
Noah watched him exit the room. "What's he talking about?"
Madeline yawned. She got tired fast, and all the excitement had left her feeling worn out. "The admiral offered him a job with the Navy. He said you've been reinstated as well. Are you going to go back to the SEAL team?"
Noah sat down on her bed and laced his fingers with hers. "No. I'm turning the Navy down."
"Why? You lived and breathed the military, Noah."
"My priorities have changed." He placed a kiss on her knuckles. "I don’t want to leave you. I wasn’t kidding when I said I wasn’t walking away a second time."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"What if I told you, I was leaving the Navy?"
"I would ask the doctor to come check your head. The Navy has been your life, Madeline. Why would you walk away?"
"Things change. People change. Besides." Madeline sighed. "I want to start my own business. Does that bother you?"
"Why do I feel like that’s a trick question?"
"It's not. I want you and Perez to go into business with me. Start our own security company. Maybe not get shot doing it." Madeline shrugged her shoulder, the movement causing her to wince.
"Me?"
"Yes. You."
Noah crawled into the bed beside her and carefully pulled her against him. "I’ll do anything as long as you're part of the equation. I love you, Madeline. I don’t think I ever stopped."
"I love you, too." Noah smiled when she yawned again. "I'm really tired." Madeline whispered against his neck.
Noah held her close as she fought to stay away. He caressed her head and listened as her breathing slowly started to even out. Noah pressed his lips to her head and smiled. He had nothing to lose and would follow her wherever she wanted to go.
"Don't leave," Madeline mumbled incoherently against him.
Noah chuckled. "Go to sleep. I'll be here when you wake."
Because he would. He wasn’t going to leave her again. She was stuck with him for life. And if he had his way, he would marry her tomorrow. But first, he needed to get her well. Then he would make her his permanently.
21
