The Glass Secret (Chain of Secrets), page 10
What’s happening? I felt an overwhelming urge to peek at them but again didn’t dare.
“I think that’s the case,” Katharine chimed in, breaking the silence in the room.
“Could be...and, what a razor sharp tongue on her...I can’t say I’ve ever heard a woman swear so nonchalantly,” he sighed, “but...since she claims to be from the states, well, from what I’ve heard American women are taking over. God, help us,” he said, followed by a hearty chuckle.
What is he talking about? Women haven’t just taken over. They are powerful leaders. He must have had his head buried in a textbook, for the last thirty years, explaining how do I pull my head out of my ass? I shook off the sudden visual of this.
“Hey, I’m from America too,” Katharine said then giggled.
“Yes, I know...and the most beautiful red-haired American woman I’ve ever seen.”
“Oh Doctor, I could say the same to you...you’re the most drop-dead gorgeous man in Paris—that’s a compliment,” she boldly said, after stealing my line. Well, it wasn’t my line, but a catch phrase coined by a journalist for Time Magazine in a 1985 issue about Michelle Pfeiffer.
“I’ve never had anyone pay me such a nice but interesting compliment. Thank you, but I have to ask have you been talking to our little alien?”
Alien?
They both broke into a quiet laughter; their banter was extremely flirty. I heard their footsteps crossing the floor in sync. With their backs to me, I took the opportunity to watch them from beneath my lashes.
Oh my God, Dr. Tagorski and Katharine were embracing. He leaned into her then kissed her, and she kissed him back.
No wonder he had capitulated, regarding my fate with the brain-frying chair, she had him in the palms of her hands, literally. I closed my eyes; it didn’t feel right to spy on them. They appeared to be in love. Maybe lust. No it was definitely love.
Then it hit me, a brilliant thought, if I was getting out of here with my mind intact, I had better have a back up plan.
Katharine confided in me that if I had any more outbursts Dr. Tagorski might resort to giving me electric shock treatment. I told her that I had thought that treatment had been banished. She confirmed it was a common practice in Paris, and it has helped many people who have had traumatic incidents such as I had.
The minute they released me, I planned to report how unjustified they had treated me to whoever would listen. Most people have no idea what still goes on in private hospitals...I had heard my share of horrific unorthodox medical treatments. Now I had experienced it for myself.
Back to my plan. What a fortuitous opportunity. I gripped my cell,pulled it out in a hurry, aimed and snapped two photos of them.
Thank God, the camera still worked. If electric shock treatment crosses Dr. Tagorski’s mind one more time, blackmail would cross mine. I was certain it wasn’t acceptable, even in Paris, to fraternize with a young nurse.
I double-checked to see if the photos had turned out, they did, perfectly. Even though it was just a photo, the love between them leaped from my phone.
I watched them for a moment more, stealing kisses. I could’ve taken even more pictures, unbeknownst to them. In lieu of my blackmail plan, to capture their passion in action would’ve made a nice gift for Katharine because she had helped me, but then again, maybe not, that may have been considered a crime. Not to mention, a little perverted too.
Suddenly, it didn’t seem right to keep the photos for the sake of my own fate. Contrarily, it felt wrong. I almost hit delete and erased the photos when I noticed an uncanny aura of light around them. It was magnificent. Even on my camera phone, the images were ominous and something that could never be duplicated again. I decided they were so worth saving after all.
They were like angelic ghosts with elevated souls, disappearing into each other. I wondered if it was their first kiss?
Not a chance, I thought. The energy between them was unfettered and indescribable, like magic...and I captured it in its raw form.
At that second, I closed my eyes andmade a decision to comply with Dr. Tagorski’s methods, no more outbursts. I didn’t have the heart to taint the love between them with blackmail tactics. My anger had been tempered and comforted by witnessing their shared love for each other. It’s not everyday you get to see deep love transpiring between two people. There’s enough hate in this world and I didn’t want to become a part of it, no matter how someone treated me.
Besides, I didn’t have that kind of power to stop their love. That would be like trying to stop the sun from shining.They had a way about them, a quiet way, the same way the grass grows, or when the sun dips below the horizon. It’s ever so silent, but beautiful.
I knew their love would travel on as long and as wide as a river. I don’t know how long they embraced, kissed or stared into each other’s eyes behind the closed door of my room. It didn’t really matter.Soon, I fell victim to the sedative and drifted into the fog.
-14-
Jane’s Plan
A private stillness lingered in the depths of my consciousness, incarnating the images of my existence, as to who I was before this condition, before I found myself in this predicament—for a moment in time I was with him—the one apparently, I’d thought I would forget. I remembered him.
He saturated me with unadulterated love. Oh Lord, his voice...rare; sonorous tones penetrated my soul. Words of poetry streamed in my head. His glistening eyes stared down at me as his blue-black thick lashes kissed the faint lines on his upper cheekbones. Closing my eyes, I felt his fingers caressing my heated cheeks, before coiling around a lock of my hair. I begged for time to slow down—for it to stop moving ahead. His lips were inches from mine. Then he kissed me, stealing my heart forever. His tantalizing taste still lingered on my lips.
Footsteps echoed...an overwhelming scent of a strong hairspray filled my nostrils. It smelled similar to the old-fashion spray that my great-grandmother used to wear. Aqua Net, or something like that, it was definitely an aerosol.
Someone is here with me, but I can’t wake up. I could hear their breath. Hushed voices interrupted my dream.
“I have to get that little twit away from Doctor Tagorski,” a female whispered. “He was interested in me before she had ever arrived here.” It was nurse Jane I had no doubt; I recognized her sassy voice.
Another female’s voice chimed in, “Yes, but how are you going to do that?”
“I have a plan.”
“Really. What?”
“I am going to get Katharine good. After she embarrassed me in front of Doctor Tagorski like she did—uh, I’ve had it with her shenanigans, playing her damsel in distress routine at my expense.”
“I don’t think that is her intentions. But I understand that you are upset after what had happened. Doctor Tagorski wasn’t pleased with you interrupting them.”
“I’m beyond upset. Katharine is going to pay. I will see to it.”
“I see, but how are you going to do that, tell me?” the other female asked, curiously. “What about her?”
There was a beat of silence. I struggled to open my eyes but to no avail.
“Don’t worry she’s drugged and can’t hear a thing we’re saying. Besides, no one will believe her if she can. Doctor Tagorski thinks she’s insane,” she snickered. They were now talking about me.
“So what’s your plan?”
Tell her your plan already, or are you making this up as you go! I want to know, too.
“Well, I am going to make it look as if Katharine screwed up. I am going to give this little patient here a lethal dose of Sodium Pentothal and then blame it on Katharine.”
What the fuck! My pulse raced twice the beats it should have. She planned on murdering me and framing Katharine in order to get rid of her. Why me? I couldn’t believe my ears. Murder me, all to increase her chances with Doctor Tagorski. If I’d live to tell, she would claim that I was a liar or worst yet psychotic, but apparently that was the consensus already.
“What! Jane, are you crazy?” the other woman shrieked.
“Can be. Besides, all’s fair in love and war,” Jane retorted, dripping with a sinister laugh.
“Don’t you think killing her is a little extreme?” the other voice asked. I struggled to open my eyes. “Doing this doesn’t mean that Doctor Tagorski will marry you. Can’t you just make her deathly sick and then blame Katharine for being incompetent? But to actually kill her is out of the question.”
“Oh, Maryann, you are such a do-gooder. I suppose I could, but if we put her out of her misery instead, they will send Katharine to jail for a long time, which will increase my chances with Doctor Tagarski. I will comfort him after Katharine is arrested, if you know what I mean. He will be weak, heartbroken, and will then realize that I am the one for him, not some redheaded bimbo who can’t administer the right amount of meds. Maybe, I will seal the deal by getting pregnant,” said Jane. “He is a good man and will marry me for sure.”
“I can’t let you do this. It’s wrong. Doctor Tagorski doesn’t love you. He loves Katharine. Everyone knows it. And her...she’s innocent in all this,” Maryann raised her voice, leniently on my behalf.
“Quiet. No one is innocent.” Jane scolded her. “Look how she behaved. She’s part to blame. If not for her big mouth, sweet conniving Katharine would have never had to rescue her, and I wouldn’t have been reprimanded in front of everyone. How I see it—they are both at fault.”
“This is wrong. I won’t have anything to do with it. I can’t let you go through with this.”
That’s right tell her she won’t get away with this, I screamed, but my words fell on deaf ears. I couldn’t open my eyes or my mouth.
“Hand me that,” Jane ordered, a beat passed. “Perfect. See, now you’re involved.”
“What? No I’m not,” Maryann stammered. “I’m leaving.”
“You’re not going anywhere. See, your fingerprints are all over the syringe. Look, I have gloves on.” Jane tittered out an evil sound that resonated in her tone. “So if you tell anyone, you will surely go to jail. Stick with me and I will give you an alibi. So shut up and stop your whining,” Jane threatened.
I could hear them wrestling around.
“Give me that back...now!” Maryann bellowed.
Fuck! I needed to get out of this place. Hating to face the facts, but Jane was right the doctor would never believe me.
A pair of hands gripped my arm. Let go of me you fucking bitch! Ouch! That was it.
“Now look what you made me do. I wasn’t going to give it all to her until tomorrow.”
A hot burning sensation streamed into my vein. Then darkness, no more voices. Jane did it. She had given me the lethal dose.
I drifted farther into the darkness, and then a beautiful flash of light swarmed around me. There he was, the man with the gorgeous eyes, waving to me. Behind him was a halo of light, a loving warm light drawing me closer. He was smiling.
Then the world fell away, and I was back to the time I had first met him. It was all so clear now.
If I had known who he really was I would have thought twice first before allowing him to steal my heart. He hypnotized me with his ghost of a smile, exuding confidence that was more attractive than his looks. I found myself engaging in his conquest, his hocus-pocus; however, I was on the wrong side of the smoke screen, under his spell. He had a primal quiet nature, and captured me in his web. I tangled with the fibers of his being, surrendering to the phenomena of whom he was—of what made him—Him.
My Achilles heel was tall, dark and handsome, and a fact that I wanted to know why me, why had he chosen me. I ached to understand the reason for the journey that had led me to Him. It was a compelling enigma he set into motion, seizing my need to be claimed by him. The certainty of our connection was unwavering.
All I could do was ask myself, why? Why did he play me, and his cards so close to the vest? Why? Because he could. Was our connection real, or was it merely my perception of who he is to me, or more appropriately, who he was to me?
Where is he now?
The feelings that I felt for him, above any other moments in my life, were deeper than any I’d ever known. But, before I could grasp it—it was over! Emotions squeezed the breath from my lungs, and I doubted my ability to let go when he disappeared like magic, extinguishing the flames between us.
His sudden vanishing act only recaptured my intense desire to relish him—all of Him. His breath touched all corners of me. Regardless, he was a breath that could not be captured, almost like life itself.
I realized that it was a deadly combination playing with fire, trying to change our destinies. My heart was on the line. And, my life. Despite the challenge, a risk I chose to pursue, and now the slow death of losing him again—there was no denying that he ignited the fire in me like a candle without a wick. I melted into him like hot wax, penetrating into his skin, and we were one, filling timeless voids again.
In my memory, my eyes scanned his face—his decadent features still tarried in the catalog of my mind. I still yearned to trace the faint lines of his face and the darkest corners of his heart.
His dark eyes were equal to smoldering ash, warm and sensual, with unusual vectors of midnight blue that swirl at the heart of every flame, burning into mine. I knew the chill of his touch snaking across my bare skin, so well, that at times, I swear I could still feel his hands on my breasts.
No matter how well I thought I had known him, or how the touch of his gentle hands were etched in my memory, it felt like a memory that belonged to someone else. Sometimes I suffered to remember if he was actually real, or just a dream that I had concocted in my mind. I still want him, I long to feel him by my side. I would gladly sacrifice tomorrow to have him here with me today. Or, did I?
My condition interrupted the vein of my memories. He was fading. He was now translucent, nothing but a shadow that is as sheer as a veil. Could I be fading away along with his warm musky scent that not long ago permeated my soul and filled the chambers of my heart?
This god of a man painted my world in shades of color and wonder. What if I would have waited one more day? Or one more season? What if I would have demanded more than just what I knew and saw with my own eyes? The light is gone. In just a flicker of a moment, darkness hangs on the edge of the moon. Now I was prepared to face the obscurity of life, my life, and the breath that sustains the love I still felt for a man whom I still couldn’t remember his name. Damn it, I am not crazy. Was it time to put his ghost to rest?
I felt someone shaking me, furiously, and calling my name. I panicked for a moment and then opened my eyes, the apparition of him dispersed like a shadow in the sunlight. I opened my eyes!
-15-
Truth or Dare!
“Where am I?” I said, catching my breath, anxiously, feeling like I had been sleeping for a hundred years. My eyes darted around the room and it all flooded back to me—that’s right, I was in the hospital.
My breath eased and returned to normal as I released the memories of Him; the image of the man I will never forget. The man that a short time ago, who I thought was an intruder had returned to rescue me—I was now certain of that. I could not wait for him to come back to me like a thief in the night. My thoughts were scattered. Then, I recalled overhearing the horrific conversation between Jane and Maryann.
Jane’s plan for my demise failed. Now what? Should I tell Doctor Tagorski her plan to murder me by framing Katharine? Would he believe me? Would anyone? Would the doctor believe I was making the entire event up as he thought I did with the man that appeared in my doorway and our miscommunication that Jack wanted to kill me, too?
If I told him of Jane’s intentions this would only solidify his diagnosis. He would then definitely be convinced I was paranoid and resort to electric shock treatment, and then I’d be gone forever. Had Dr. Tagorski not shaken me so furiously, robbing me of my lovely vision, would I have passed over to the other side?
“Ms. Eden...are you okay?” Dr. Tagorski asked.
“Yes, tired I guess,” I yawned deeply into my lungs.
“The staff informed me you had slept all day yesterday and that you were not responding. Your vitals were all over the place. Nurse Katharine sat with you all night. This morning when I arrived she was very concerned you were slipping away.”
Yesterday? Wow, I had lost an entire day. Isn’t he suspicious to why I had slept for so long and my vitals went haywire? But then again, if Katharine had been here perhaps Jane never was; it was possible that I’d only had a nightmare.
“I feel rested that’s for sure.”
“Well, no more powerful drugs for you young lady. We don’t want to lose you. Do you think we can continue where we left off yesterday? Without an outburst this time?”
“Yes, I think so...” I managed to say, my voice cracked, peering hopefully at the bedraggled note still lying on the bedside table. What did the note mean? I still knew I hadn’t written it, but I was certain there was some kind of a message tied to it.
“Doctor Tagorski...I have something to tell you.” I couldn’t keep to myself what Jane had intended to do. I was certain, considering my condition that he’d believe that she’d attempted to overdose me.
“Yes, Miss Eden.”
Before I could speak the door flew open.
“Good-morning everyone,” Jane said, storming into the room with a sweet innocent smile plastered on her mug.
“Good-morning Jane. Did you enjoy your day off yesterday?”
“Did I ever...John and I spent the entire day at his mother’s home in the country. Look, he proposed,” Jane beamed, flashing her ring in our faces. “Then he surprised me with tickets to the ballet next week. Of course, the proposal topped the tickets by far.” She rambled on, “We had such a lovely evening. His mother is so pleased that he finally popped the question. She adores me you know?”
I sat there with my mouth hinged opened.
“Yes. How could she not? Congratulations. I told you he would do it when least expected.”
“I think that’s the case,” Katharine chimed in, breaking the silence in the room.
“Could be...and, what a razor sharp tongue on her...I can’t say I’ve ever heard a woman swear so nonchalantly,” he sighed, “but...since she claims to be from the states, well, from what I’ve heard American women are taking over. God, help us,” he said, followed by a hearty chuckle.
What is he talking about? Women haven’t just taken over. They are powerful leaders. He must have had his head buried in a textbook, for the last thirty years, explaining how do I pull my head out of my ass? I shook off the sudden visual of this.
“Hey, I’m from America too,” Katharine said then giggled.
“Yes, I know...and the most beautiful red-haired American woman I’ve ever seen.”
“Oh Doctor, I could say the same to you...you’re the most drop-dead gorgeous man in Paris—that’s a compliment,” she boldly said, after stealing my line. Well, it wasn’t my line, but a catch phrase coined by a journalist for Time Magazine in a 1985 issue about Michelle Pfeiffer.
“I’ve never had anyone pay me such a nice but interesting compliment. Thank you, but I have to ask have you been talking to our little alien?”
Alien?
They both broke into a quiet laughter; their banter was extremely flirty. I heard their footsteps crossing the floor in sync. With their backs to me, I took the opportunity to watch them from beneath my lashes.
Oh my God, Dr. Tagorski and Katharine were embracing. He leaned into her then kissed her, and she kissed him back.
No wonder he had capitulated, regarding my fate with the brain-frying chair, she had him in the palms of her hands, literally. I closed my eyes; it didn’t feel right to spy on them. They appeared to be in love. Maybe lust. No it was definitely love.
Then it hit me, a brilliant thought, if I was getting out of here with my mind intact, I had better have a back up plan.
Katharine confided in me that if I had any more outbursts Dr. Tagorski might resort to giving me electric shock treatment. I told her that I had thought that treatment had been banished. She confirmed it was a common practice in Paris, and it has helped many people who have had traumatic incidents such as I had.
The minute they released me, I planned to report how unjustified they had treated me to whoever would listen. Most people have no idea what still goes on in private hospitals...I had heard my share of horrific unorthodox medical treatments. Now I had experienced it for myself.
Back to my plan. What a fortuitous opportunity. I gripped my cell,pulled it out in a hurry, aimed and snapped two photos of them.
Thank God, the camera still worked. If electric shock treatment crosses Dr. Tagorski’s mind one more time, blackmail would cross mine. I was certain it wasn’t acceptable, even in Paris, to fraternize with a young nurse.
I double-checked to see if the photos had turned out, they did, perfectly. Even though it was just a photo, the love between them leaped from my phone.
I watched them for a moment more, stealing kisses. I could’ve taken even more pictures, unbeknownst to them. In lieu of my blackmail plan, to capture their passion in action would’ve made a nice gift for Katharine because she had helped me, but then again, maybe not, that may have been considered a crime. Not to mention, a little perverted too.
Suddenly, it didn’t seem right to keep the photos for the sake of my own fate. Contrarily, it felt wrong. I almost hit delete and erased the photos when I noticed an uncanny aura of light around them. It was magnificent. Even on my camera phone, the images were ominous and something that could never be duplicated again. I decided they were so worth saving after all.
They were like angelic ghosts with elevated souls, disappearing into each other. I wondered if it was their first kiss?
Not a chance, I thought. The energy between them was unfettered and indescribable, like magic...and I captured it in its raw form.
At that second, I closed my eyes andmade a decision to comply with Dr. Tagorski’s methods, no more outbursts. I didn’t have the heart to taint the love between them with blackmail tactics. My anger had been tempered and comforted by witnessing their shared love for each other. It’s not everyday you get to see deep love transpiring between two people. There’s enough hate in this world and I didn’t want to become a part of it, no matter how someone treated me.
Besides, I didn’t have that kind of power to stop their love. That would be like trying to stop the sun from shining.They had a way about them, a quiet way, the same way the grass grows, or when the sun dips below the horizon. It’s ever so silent, but beautiful.
I knew their love would travel on as long and as wide as a river. I don’t know how long they embraced, kissed or stared into each other’s eyes behind the closed door of my room. It didn’t really matter.Soon, I fell victim to the sedative and drifted into the fog.
-14-
Jane’s Plan
A private stillness lingered in the depths of my consciousness, incarnating the images of my existence, as to who I was before this condition, before I found myself in this predicament—for a moment in time I was with him—the one apparently, I’d thought I would forget. I remembered him.
He saturated me with unadulterated love. Oh Lord, his voice...rare; sonorous tones penetrated my soul. Words of poetry streamed in my head. His glistening eyes stared down at me as his blue-black thick lashes kissed the faint lines on his upper cheekbones. Closing my eyes, I felt his fingers caressing my heated cheeks, before coiling around a lock of my hair. I begged for time to slow down—for it to stop moving ahead. His lips were inches from mine. Then he kissed me, stealing my heart forever. His tantalizing taste still lingered on my lips.
Footsteps echoed...an overwhelming scent of a strong hairspray filled my nostrils. It smelled similar to the old-fashion spray that my great-grandmother used to wear. Aqua Net, or something like that, it was definitely an aerosol.
Someone is here with me, but I can’t wake up. I could hear their breath. Hushed voices interrupted my dream.
“I have to get that little twit away from Doctor Tagorski,” a female whispered. “He was interested in me before she had ever arrived here.” It was nurse Jane I had no doubt; I recognized her sassy voice.
Another female’s voice chimed in, “Yes, but how are you going to do that?”
“I have a plan.”
“Really. What?”
“I am going to get Katharine good. After she embarrassed me in front of Doctor Tagorski like she did—uh, I’ve had it with her shenanigans, playing her damsel in distress routine at my expense.”
“I don’t think that is her intentions. But I understand that you are upset after what had happened. Doctor Tagorski wasn’t pleased with you interrupting them.”
“I’m beyond upset. Katharine is going to pay. I will see to it.”
“I see, but how are you going to do that, tell me?” the other female asked, curiously. “What about her?”
There was a beat of silence. I struggled to open my eyes but to no avail.
“Don’t worry she’s drugged and can’t hear a thing we’re saying. Besides, no one will believe her if she can. Doctor Tagorski thinks she’s insane,” she snickered. They were now talking about me.
“So what’s your plan?”
Tell her your plan already, or are you making this up as you go! I want to know, too.
“Well, I am going to make it look as if Katharine screwed up. I am going to give this little patient here a lethal dose of Sodium Pentothal and then blame it on Katharine.”
What the fuck! My pulse raced twice the beats it should have. She planned on murdering me and framing Katharine in order to get rid of her. Why me? I couldn’t believe my ears. Murder me, all to increase her chances with Doctor Tagorski. If I’d live to tell, she would claim that I was a liar or worst yet psychotic, but apparently that was the consensus already.
“What! Jane, are you crazy?” the other woman shrieked.
“Can be. Besides, all’s fair in love and war,” Jane retorted, dripping with a sinister laugh.
“Don’t you think killing her is a little extreme?” the other voice asked. I struggled to open my eyes. “Doing this doesn’t mean that Doctor Tagorski will marry you. Can’t you just make her deathly sick and then blame Katharine for being incompetent? But to actually kill her is out of the question.”
“Oh, Maryann, you are such a do-gooder. I suppose I could, but if we put her out of her misery instead, they will send Katharine to jail for a long time, which will increase my chances with Doctor Tagarski. I will comfort him after Katharine is arrested, if you know what I mean. He will be weak, heartbroken, and will then realize that I am the one for him, not some redheaded bimbo who can’t administer the right amount of meds. Maybe, I will seal the deal by getting pregnant,” said Jane. “He is a good man and will marry me for sure.”
“I can’t let you do this. It’s wrong. Doctor Tagorski doesn’t love you. He loves Katharine. Everyone knows it. And her...she’s innocent in all this,” Maryann raised her voice, leniently on my behalf.
“Quiet. No one is innocent.” Jane scolded her. “Look how she behaved. She’s part to blame. If not for her big mouth, sweet conniving Katharine would have never had to rescue her, and I wouldn’t have been reprimanded in front of everyone. How I see it—they are both at fault.”
“This is wrong. I won’t have anything to do with it. I can’t let you go through with this.”
That’s right tell her she won’t get away with this, I screamed, but my words fell on deaf ears. I couldn’t open my eyes or my mouth.
“Hand me that,” Jane ordered, a beat passed. “Perfect. See, now you’re involved.”
“What? No I’m not,” Maryann stammered. “I’m leaving.”
“You’re not going anywhere. See, your fingerprints are all over the syringe. Look, I have gloves on.” Jane tittered out an evil sound that resonated in her tone. “So if you tell anyone, you will surely go to jail. Stick with me and I will give you an alibi. So shut up and stop your whining,” Jane threatened.
I could hear them wrestling around.
“Give me that back...now!” Maryann bellowed.
Fuck! I needed to get out of this place. Hating to face the facts, but Jane was right the doctor would never believe me.
A pair of hands gripped my arm. Let go of me you fucking bitch! Ouch! That was it.
“Now look what you made me do. I wasn’t going to give it all to her until tomorrow.”
A hot burning sensation streamed into my vein. Then darkness, no more voices. Jane did it. She had given me the lethal dose.
I drifted farther into the darkness, and then a beautiful flash of light swarmed around me. There he was, the man with the gorgeous eyes, waving to me. Behind him was a halo of light, a loving warm light drawing me closer. He was smiling.
Then the world fell away, and I was back to the time I had first met him. It was all so clear now.
If I had known who he really was I would have thought twice first before allowing him to steal my heart. He hypnotized me with his ghost of a smile, exuding confidence that was more attractive than his looks. I found myself engaging in his conquest, his hocus-pocus; however, I was on the wrong side of the smoke screen, under his spell. He had a primal quiet nature, and captured me in his web. I tangled with the fibers of his being, surrendering to the phenomena of whom he was—of what made him—Him.
My Achilles heel was tall, dark and handsome, and a fact that I wanted to know why me, why had he chosen me. I ached to understand the reason for the journey that had led me to Him. It was a compelling enigma he set into motion, seizing my need to be claimed by him. The certainty of our connection was unwavering.
All I could do was ask myself, why? Why did he play me, and his cards so close to the vest? Why? Because he could. Was our connection real, or was it merely my perception of who he is to me, or more appropriately, who he was to me?
Where is he now?
The feelings that I felt for him, above any other moments in my life, were deeper than any I’d ever known. But, before I could grasp it—it was over! Emotions squeezed the breath from my lungs, and I doubted my ability to let go when he disappeared like magic, extinguishing the flames between us.
His sudden vanishing act only recaptured my intense desire to relish him—all of Him. His breath touched all corners of me. Regardless, he was a breath that could not be captured, almost like life itself.
I realized that it was a deadly combination playing with fire, trying to change our destinies. My heart was on the line. And, my life. Despite the challenge, a risk I chose to pursue, and now the slow death of losing him again—there was no denying that he ignited the fire in me like a candle without a wick. I melted into him like hot wax, penetrating into his skin, and we were one, filling timeless voids again.
In my memory, my eyes scanned his face—his decadent features still tarried in the catalog of my mind. I still yearned to trace the faint lines of his face and the darkest corners of his heart.
His dark eyes were equal to smoldering ash, warm and sensual, with unusual vectors of midnight blue that swirl at the heart of every flame, burning into mine. I knew the chill of his touch snaking across my bare skin, so well, that at times, I swear I could still feel his hands on my breasts.
No matter how well I thought I had known him, or how the touch of his gentle hands were etched in my memory, it felt like a memory that belonged to someone else. Sometimes I suffered to remember if he was actually real, or just a dream that I had concocted in my mind. I still want him, I long to feel him by my side. I would gladly sacrifice tomorrow to have him here with me today. Or, did I?
My condition interrupted the vein of my memories. He was fading. He was now translucent, nothing but a shadow that is as sheer as a veil. Could I be fading away along with his warm musky scent that not long ago permeated my soul and filled the chambers of my heart?
This god of a man painted my world in shades of color and wonder. What if I would have waited one more day? Or one more season? What if I would have demanded more than just what I knew and saw with my own eyes? The light is gone. In just a flicker of a moment, darkness hangs on the edge of the moon. Now I was prepared to face the obscurity of life, my life, and the breath that sustains the love I still felt for a man whom I still couldn’t remember his name. Damn it, I am not crazy. Was it time to put his ghost to rest?
I felt someone shaking me, furiously, and calling my name. I panicked for a moment and then opened my eyes, the apparition of him dispersed like a shadow in the sunlight. I opened my eyes!
-15-
Truth or Dare!
“Where am I?” I said, catching my breath, anxiously, feeling like I had been sleeping for a hundred years. My eyes darted around the room and it all flooded back to me—that’s right, I was in the hospital.
My breath eased and returned to normal as I released the memories of Him; the image of the man I will never forget. The man that a short time ago, who I thought was an intruder had returned to rescue me—I was now certain of that. I could not wait for him to come back to me like a thief in the night. My thoughts were scattered. Then, I recalled overhearing the horrific conversation between Jane and Maryann.
Jane’s plan for my demise failed. Now what? Should I tell Doctor Tagorski her plan to murder me by framing Katharine? Would he believe me? Would anyone? Would the doctor believe I was making the entire event up as he thought I did with the man that appeared in my doorway and our miscommunication that Jack wanted to kill me, too?
If I told him of Jane’s intentions this would only solidify his diagnosis. He would then definitely be convinced I was paranoid and resort to electric shock treatment, and then I’d be gone forever. Had Dr. Tagorski not shaken me so furiously, robbing me of my lovely vision, would I have passed over to the other side?
“Ms. Eden...are you okay?” Dr. Tagorski asked.
“Yes, tired I guess,” I yawned deeply into my lungs.
“The staff informed me you had slept all day yesterday and that you were not responding. Your vitals were all over the place. Nurse Katharine sat with you all night. This morning when I arrived she was very concerned you were slipping away.”
Yesterday? Wow, I had lost an entire day. Isn’t he suspicious to why I had slept for so long and my vitals went haywire? But then again, if Katharine had been here perhaps Jane never was; it was possible that I’d only had a nightmare.
“I feel rested that’s for sure.”
“Well, no more powerful drugs for you young lady. We don’t want to lose you. Do you think we can continue where we left off yesterday? Without an outburst this time?”
“Yes, I think so...” I managed to say, my voice cracked, peering hopefully at the bedraggled note still lying on the bedside table. What did the note mean? I still knew I hadn’t written it, but I was certain there was some kind of a message tied to it.
“Doctor Tagorski...I have something to tell you.” I couldn’t keep to myself what Jane had intended to do. I was certain, considering my condition that he’d believe that she’d attempted to overdose me.
“Yes, Miss Eden.”
Before I could speak the door flew open.
“Good-morning everyone,” Jane said, storming into the room with a sweet innocent smile plastered on her mug.
“Good-morning Jane. Did you enjoy your day off yesterday?”
“Did I ever...John and I spent the entire day at his mother’s home in the country. Look, he proposed,” Jane beamed, flashing her ring in our faces. “Then he surprised me with tickets to the ballet next week. Of course, the proposal topped the tickets by far.” She rambled on, “We had such a lovely evening. His mother is so pleased that he finally popped the question. She adores me you know?”
I sat there with my mouth hinged opened.
“Yes. How could she not? Congratulations. I told you he would do it when least expected.”
