First published in 2006

  Copyright © Leigh Hobbs, 2006

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publisher. The Australian Copyright Act 1968 (the Act) allows a maximum of one chapter or 10 per cent of this book, whichever is the greater, to be photocopied by any educational institution for its educational purposes provided that the educational institution (or body that administers it) has given a remuneration notice to Copyright Agency Limited (CAL) under the Act.

  Allen & Unwin

  83 Alexander Street

  Crows Nest NSW 2065

  Australia

  Phone: (61 2) 8425 0100

  Fax: (61 2) 9906 2218

  Email: info@allenandunwin.com

  Web: www.allenandunwin.com

  National Library of Australia

  Cataloguing-in-Publication entry:

  Hobbs, Leigh.

  4F for freaks.

  For children.

  ISBN 1 74114 091 9.

  I. Title.

  A823.3

  Set in 16 pt Bembo by Sandra Nobes

  Printed in Australia by McPherson’s Printing Group

  10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

  www.leighhobbs.com

  For Dmetri Kakmi

  and Margaret Fink

  CONTENTS

  CHAPTER 1

  CHAPTER 2

  CHAPTER 3

  CHAPTER 4

  CHAPTER 5

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  CHAPTER 1

  Miss Corker was a brand-new teacher and she was about to meet 4F, her brand-new class.

  The headmaster introduced the children one by one.

  First there was Louisa the Teaser.

  Then Not-so-nice Nora and Baby-doll Delia,

  Tony and Alphonse, the almost identical twins,

  and Scary Mary.

  Nearby were cousins Terribly-tough Timmy

  and Very-bad Betty.

  Within reach was Unfriendly Irwin. Behind him was Baby-face Barry

  and hanging about outside was Feral Beryl.

  Up close was Sort-of-sweet Sarah, with High-headed Harry, Brad the Bad and his brother Dirk.

  (Or was that Kirk? wondered Miss Corker.)

  In the middle was Nearly-normal Nancy,

  while not far off, but far enough, was Surly Susan, next to her best friend, Frowning Fran.

  Also present was Strange Sidney.

  Late in was Gretchen Smetchen with her pet parakeet Patricia.

  Last, but not least, was One-eyed Eileen.

  By now Miss Corker had a creeping feeling that the ‘F’ in 4F stood for...

  4F was certainly not what she had expected.

  CHAPTER 2

  Before her first lesson began, Miss Corker took a look in The Teacher’s Handbook.

  ‘Get to know your students,’ it said.

  ‘So, just where did you come from, Strange Sidney?’ asked Miss Corker sweetly.

  Even though answers did not come easily to Sidney,

  Miss Corker felt she must keep the questions coming.

  ‘What would you like to be when you grow up?’ she asked Feral Beryl.

  ‘Let’s see that sweet smile of yours!’ said Miss Corker to Lovely Latitia.

  Teaching was tiring, but Miss Corker did so want to get to know her students.

  ‘Who have we here?’ she asked Not-so-nice Nora...

  … shortly before she was badly bitten by Baby-doll Delia.

  Just then the bell went and so Miss Corker ended question time.

  While 4F went out to play,

  Miss Corker sought advice in the staffroom.

  But no one was there. So she followed 4F.

  CHAPTER 3

  In the corner of the schoolyard, Miss Corker discovered Freak Headquarters.

  Inside, 4F was having a meeting.

  One-eyed Eileen was giving instructions,

  while Not-so-nice Nora took notes.

  It was then that Miss Corker heard the chilling comment, ‘Let’s get rid of her.

  Just like all the rest!’

  Miss Corker had heard enough. Playtime was over.

  CHAPTER 4

  Back in class, Miss Corker noticed a change in the children.

  They seemed keen for her to read a story.

  During story time, however, 4F moved in a little too close for comfort.

  So Miss Corker suggested a quick spelling competition instead.

  ‘Who can spell xylophone?’ she asked.

  Alas, 4F was losing concentration and Miss Corker had lost control.

  As usual, The Teacher’s Handbook provided the solution.

  ‘Keep them busy,’ it said. ‘No matter what.’

  Art and craft seemed a good idea at first.

  But soon the room was a wreck...

  … and so was Miss Corker. She looked in her book under ‘E’ for emergency. But nothing could save her now.

  4F could not be tamed...or taught, it seemed,

  though Miss Corker had done her best.

  It was Miss Corker’s first and last day with 4F.

  And 4F had a party to celebrate.

  CHAPTER 5

  In the morning when 4F arrived at school,

  their new teacher was waiting for them. Her name was Miss Schnorkel.

  She looked like one of them. But 4F was soon disappointed when Miss Schnorkel got straight down to business.

  ‘I need a special helper,’ she said to One-eyed Eileen.

  One-eyed Eileen’s reputation was in ruins. Now she was the teacher’s pet! Worse was to come.

  To get in the mood for maths, there was singing and dancing,

  and Not-so-nice Nora was made princess of the week.

  Surly Susan and Frowning Fran won the happy-smile competition

  and Nearly-normal Nancy came tops in Silent Reading.

  In the Healthy Eating lesson, Feral Beryl’s diet was addressed. ‘Bones will wear down your teeth,’ said Miss Schnorkel. ‘Try this.’

  Even Baby-doll Delia was taken care of. Miss Schnorkel looked after everybody.

  After school, while One-eyed Eileen cleaned the classroom, an uninvited guest admired a certain photo at Freak Headquarters.

  Then she made herself very comfortable on One-eyed Eileen’s throne.

  It had been a long day for 4F, but a breeze for Miss Schnorkel. She’d learnt The Teacher’s Handbook by heart.

  With 4F gone, Miss Schnorkel could relax...

  … and be herself.

  That is, at least until tomorrow.

  The End

  . . . for now.

  Photograph by Peter Gray

  About the Author

  Leigh Hobbs was born in Melbourne in 1953. As an artist and author he is best known for his highly praised and popular children’s book characters Old Tom, Horrible Harriet and Fiona the Pig.

  Two of Leigh’s picture books, Horrible Harriet and Old Tom’s Holiday were shortlisted for the Children’s Book Council of Australia Picture Book of the Year Awards in 2002 and 2003.

  His books have won every major Children’s Choice Award in Australia.

  The children of Norfolk, UK, voted Old Tom’s Holiday Book of the Year in 2004 and Ed Zaghini of Booktrusted News (UK) describes Leigh as ‘one of today’s best living children’s book illustrators’.

  Leigh Hobbs was an art teacher for twenty-five years.

  He wants it known that some of the characters and incidents depicted in this book are fictitious.

 

 

  Leigh Hobbs, 4F for Freaks

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