“What are you—” she began.

  He didn’t give her time to think, to question. He turned her to face the wall.

  “Keep your hands on the wall,” he ordered in her ear and she obeyed. It only made the hunger in his veins burn hotter. He unfastened her jeans and jerked them down her hips along with her silk panties, then he unfastened his own jeans and shoved them down enough to free his cock. With one hand he pulled her hips back toward him, and with his other hand he guided himself into her from behind.

  “Oh…” Shana let out a soft sound of surprise, which turned it into a drugged sound of pleasure as he sank deep into her. It took him three thrust before he was fully seated inside her.

  “Roarke…” She gasped as he moved one hand around her body to gently feather a fingertip over her clit. She jerked at the touch. He smiled at her sensitivity.

  “Please…” she begged, pushing her ass back into his hips, encouraging him.

  “Fast and hard now, slow later,” he warned.

  “Yeah…” she agreed.

  He curled his fingers around the back of her neck, holding her in place, and then he fucked her hard. Each slam of his hips against her ass made her cry out in pleasure. She was tight and hot and wonderfully wet. He never wanted it to end. Making love to her was like seeing and touching heaven… It was an ephemeral moment of sheer, raw and glorious pleasure. It was brief, too brief. He wanted to be forever with her like this.

  Roarke felt the second she came; her channel gripped him and he closed his eyes, feeling pure pleasure as he followed her over the edge. Shana gasped, bracing herself against the wall of the elevator. He leaned in and brushed the hair back from her neck before he kissed her.

  “I think you broke me…” she whispered.

  He curled an arm around her waist, holding her to him. “Are you hurt? Was I too rough?” He had never hurt any partner before, but he had lost himself in her like he never done before.

  “I hurt … but it’s a good hurt. If I walk funny tomorrow, it’s entirely your fault.” She smiled at him over her shoulder, and in that moment he knew he was lost forever to this woman. He was still buried deep in her body, and she was teasing him. It was wonderful. It was intimate, sweet, and something else he couldn’t quite name. He reluctantly pulled out of her and used a handkerchief to clean her and himself, and they did their best to straighten her clothes before he released the stop button. The elevator went up to their floor and the doors opened. An older couple stood there, looking unamused at the delay.

  “See, Carl, it was coming. It was stuck,” the woman said and walked past Shana and Roarke as they stepped out.

  “Oh, it was coming all right,” Roarke murmured with a wicked grin as he put an arm around Shana’s shoulder. She gasped, her face turning red as a cherry, and she ducked her head until the elevator doors closed behind the couple.

  “You are shameless,” she said with a laugh as they reached their room.

  “Life’s too short to be ashamed.” He had once carried shame; it was a part of his old life. But when he had gone to prep school and saw that he could leave emotion behind, he had done it gladly. Even if men like Thad and Jared still didn’t trust him, he didn’t carry that weight on his shoulders anymore.

  He removed his key card and opened the door. The hotel employee was finishing the merging of the two twin beds into one large bed.

  “Pardon me, I’ll be done in just a moment,” the hotel employee said as he finished tucking in the sheets on their new bed.

  “No problem,” Roarke said as the man fluffed a few pillows and then headed for the door.

  “Thank you,” Shana said to him.

  “You’re welcome! Enjoy your honeymoon.”

  When the door closed behind him, Roarke burst out laughing.

  “Oh my God, he knows we’re sleeping together.”

  “Yes he does, and he thinks we’re married.” Roarke pulled her into his arms and pressed a kiss to her forehead. She was so delightfully easy to embarrass.

  “You want to shower?” he asked.

  She nodded again with another blush. “You’d better join me.”

  “I wouldn’t miss it.” Roarke pulled her close to him and kissed her deeply, letting her think on all the things they might do tonight before he let her go.

  This time he enjoyed the shower a lot longer than he had the previous time. Their lovemaking this time was pure, simple, and somehow tender. He sat down on the marble bench of the back of the shower and pulled her down onto his lap so that she straddled him. Then he kissed her long and slow, enjoying her mouth and the feel of her weight on his lap.

  “Did you enjoy today?” he asked as he threaded his fingertips through her soaked hair. It felt silky against his skin.

  Shana’s soft smile wrapped around his heart and clenched it.

  “I did. We did so much, it was like living a lifetime in one day.” She curled her arms around his neck and pressed against him. He held her, happy to enjoy her embrace and nothing more. It was so clear she needed to be touched, to be loved, and hadn’t been in a long time. His soul wanted to howl at such unfairness. She trembled a little, as if she sensed his thoughts, and kissed his neck.

  “Why are you so good to me, Roarke? I’m not worth—”

  “You are worth it, babe. More than you’ll ever know.” He rubbed his hands along her back, tracing the faint, delicate bones of her spine that led down to the curves of her hips and bottom.

  “Roarke?” she murmured.

  “Yes?” He could have done that all day, just touching and holding her. She was a drug, and he was a happy addict.

  “Make love to me.” She lifted her hips up, which brought her full breasts tantalizingly close to his mouth. He had never been one to refuse temptation, so he captured one nipple between his lips and sucked. She let out a soft gasp of sensual delight, so he sucked harder. When he tortured one nipple enough, he kissed a path across her chest to the other peak and wrapped his lips around it, pulling on it with his teeth, careful not to hurt her.

  “Holy shit… Roarke.” She dug her hands in his hair and tugged hard on the strands. The hint of pain shot from his scalp down to his shaft, and he groaned low at the back of his throat. He cupped her bottom and lifted her high until she could take his cock in her hand and guide him into her. The feel of her hand around him was almost as good as her body when he sank inside.

  The sensation of being connected to her, holding her, was almost too good. A sudden lump of emotion caught in his throat, and he fought to control himself. They moved together, rocking slowly, their passion building and finally cresting, and in its wake came such an intense wave of tenderness. He felt raw inside, like every emotion he had ever buried in his life had been unearthed. It felt amazing and terrifying all at the same time. He searched her face and saw the same wonderment in Shana’s eyes.

  “That was something else, wasn’t it?” she whispered.

  “Yeah,” he agreed. “You okay?”

  She smiled. “You keep asking me that like I’m going to break.”

  “I can get carried away, and the last thing I want is to hurt you.”

  Her eyes softened and she traced his lips with a fingertip. “You are so sweet. I love that about you.”

  Roarke’s heart constricted. Had she realized what she just said? Had she meant it more deeply than just as a passing comment?

  They sat beneath the spray until Shana giggled at their pruned fingers. When he examined her hand, he gently took one of her fingers between his lips and sucked on it until she was gazing at him with new hunger, and he had to claim her all over again. This time he let her ride him facing away from him, and he’d never been so glad for a marble bench in a shower before in his entire life.

  “We’d better go to bed,” she said and stifled a yawn. “I’m dead after everything we did today.”

  Roarke agreed. Even though he was incredibly fit, hiking a mountain, walking the length of the glacier and several bouts of sex had him ready to crash too. But he felt good; he felt happy and satisfied in every way and he hoped she did too. She deserved to feel that way even more than he did.

  They both dried off and got into their pajamas before they climbed into their now spacious full bed. They lay not touching for a long moment after he turned off the light, then Shana rolled over in the darkness and kissed his cheek.

  “Night,” she whispered as she settled into his body and stretched an arm over his stomach as if they’d slept that way together for years.

  “Night,” he echoed back.

  As he fell asleep, he was still smiling.

  6

  The sound of a cell phone ringing woke Shana up from a cozy dream about sleigh rides and drinks by the fire. Their bodies were still tangled from last night, the heavy weight of his arm around her back and her leg tucked between his larger ones. She was curled up against Roarke, and he stirred as she sat up.

  “Is that your phone or mine?” he asked drowsily.

  “Mine, I think.” She slid out of bed and retrieved her phone off her nightstand. She winced when she saw the time. It was a little after four a.m. Jared’s name flashed across the screen.

  “Hello?” She answered quietly even though Roarke was half awake. She felt bad disturbing him.

  “Hey.” The tone of Jared’s voice was tense, and she heard in it an underlying bleakness that filled her with fear. “Sorry, I know it’s early for you, but I knew you would want me to call you.”

  “What is it?” she asked. Roarke stirred behind her, seeming to pick up on her worry.

  “It’s Angelo. He’s in the hospital.”

  “What?” For a second, Jared’s words made no sense.

  “He’s in bad shape, Shana. Is there any way you can get home in the next day or so?”

  Angelo was hurt? Finally the words punched through her weariness and into her chest. Something had happened to one of her best friends. Oh god… She had to get home.

  She nearly choked when she spoke next.

  “What happened?”

  “He was cooking in the soup kitchens like he always does on Christmas Eve, and a man attacked one of the workers when he tried to steal her purse. Angelo fought the guy off, but he was stabbed. You need to come home.”

  As Shana tried to process all of that, she was vaguely aware of Roarke getting dressed behind her.

  Angelo was different than Thad or Jared. There was such an innate sweetness to him that made everyone adore him. It didn’t hurt that he looked like a Greek god. Angelo had always looked out for her, especially when she and Jared had finally broken up once and for all. They’d spent a lot of time together, just as friends. She didn’t want to think of Angelo hurting. He was always so strong. It was hard to picture him lying in a hospital bed, fighting for his life.

  “I’ll try to find the next flight out.”

  “Send me a text when you have flight details. Thad is at Disney with Veronica, and I can’t reach him. He was planning to propose to her, so his phone is off. I left him a voicemail. I’m at the hospital with Angelo’s family.”

  “Okay, I will. Thanks, Jared.” She hung up and turned to Roarke. “Angelo is in the hospital. It’s bad.”

  He raked a hand through his hair, his face solemn, his eyes shadowed. “What can I do to help?”

  “I need to get a flight to Chicago as soon as I can.”

  “It’s Christmas Day. I’m not sure how many options we have. Let me make a few calls. Give me your passport, and you can pack while I try to find a flight for us.”

  She rushed over to her purse and dug through the contents to find her passport. Her hands were shaking violently as she handed it to him.

  He gently grasped her shoulders. “It’s going to be okay. I’ll find us a way to get home. I promise.” Then he stepped into the hall and was gone for half an hour, which gave her the time to change into traveling clothes and pack up her suitcase and toiletries.

  When Roarke returned, he pulled her into his arms without even asking. It was as though he knew what she needed. She felt safe and protected in his arms, at least for a few moments while she could calm down enough to breathe.

  “I called in a favor. I have a private plane that can leave in two hours. We have an SUV waiting for us downstairs that can drive us through the snow to the airport.”

  “Oh, thank God.” She hugged him, burying her face against his chest and drew in a shuddering breath before she forced herself to let go of him. They had to get to the airport.

  They packed the rest of their things and left the cozy retreat. As they rode in the back of the SUV to the airport, she sent Jared and Thad a group text with her flight details. Her phone connection was spotty halfway through the airport, and she was cut off from knowing how Angelo was doing.

  She held onto Roarke’s arm and pressed her face against his shoulder as she stared bleakly out at the snowy landscape. When they reached the airport and got through security, she turned her phone off and ignored the hungry growl of her stomach. Despite being hungry, she didn’t think she could eat if she tried. She felt completely hollow as worry ate away at her.

  Shana was not fully paying attention to anything as they boarded the private plane an hour later and took off. She and Roarke barely spoke on the flight, but he stayed close to her, giving her the silent comfort she needed of his presence. Her thoughts were drawn inward, on Angelo, and how she hated not knowing for the next nine hours if he was going to be okay.

  At some point in the flight, exhaustion won out and she fell asleep against Roarke’s shoulder. She woke when he gently shook her so they could exit the plane. Roarke had a private car waiting, and his driver took them straight to the hospital. It was a little after nine in the morning. When she checked her phone after turning it on, she saw Jared had told her Angelo was still at the hospital and in surgery, but that he’d been out soon and they’d know more about his condition by the time she arrived.

  When she and Roarke got to the waiting room, she found Jared sitting beside Angelo’s parents and older brother and sister-in-law. She rushed to hug her friends and then Angelo’s family. Roarke lingered at the edge of the crowd and when she glanced his way, he gave her a reassuring nod as if to say he wouldn’t leave.

  “What’s the latest news?” Shana asked Jared softly.

  “He was stabbed only once but pretty deeply. The surgeon just told us he came through the surgery well and he’s going to be okay. He’ll be able to have visitors once he’s awake. It may be another hour or so before he comes around.”

  Shana noticed a young red-haired woman in an oversized sweater curled up in the corner of the waiting room, watching them with sorrowful eyes.

  “That’s Kara. She’s the woman Angelo rescued,” Jared said. “She’s the one who called 911 and got him here in time.” Jared’s voice broke a little on those last few words.

  Shana knew how much Jared loved Angelo. He, Thad and Angelo were brothers in every way but blood.

  Drawing upon what inner emotional strength she had left, she did her best to reassure Jared. “Angelo is tough. He’ll pull through and be back at his restaurant, cooking, in no time.” Shana kissed Jared’s cheek. “Where are Felicity and Hayley?” she asked. She hadn’t texted Felicity on the way home, not wanting to disturb her and their one-year-old baby.

  “At home. I didn’t want them here watching everyone stress over this. Hayley is at that age where she cries if she sees other people cry.” He smiled a little, but his expression was sad.

  “That’s a good idea to leave them at home.” Shana knew he should also be at home. Sitting here and worrying about Angelo wasn’t the way Angelo would want him to spend Christmas. She turned her focus on Angelo’s family. “Jared, you should go home. You have a family and it’s Christmas. I’ll call you when Angelo’s awake. Thad and Veronica will be on a flight home tomorrow morning. It was the earliest they could manage.”

  Jared thought it over for a moment, and she knew he was weighing it in his mind.

  “Seriously, Jared. You’ve been here all night. I’ll take over for at least half the day. At least go home and shower.”

  “Okay, call me the minute he’s awake.”

  “I will,” she promised.

  Shana, still exhausted, settled in a chair to wait for her friend to wake up. She had no family, not really. Her father would be working, and her mother would be in the Hamptons with her friends. Shana’s only real family was here in this hospital. And that included Roarke now. He’d done more for her in the last twenty-four hours when she’d needed him most than anyone else had in her entire life. The thought warmed away the cold chill of the hospital’s waiting room. She looked his way and smiled at him, and he smiled back. They were in this…whatever this was…together, she was sure of it.

  Roarke felt helpless. His woman was hurting, and he had no way of helping her. The entire plane ride from Switzerland to Chicago, he’d kept a vigil over her, giving her anything she needed, even space and silence. Yet every minute that ticked away since they’d returned, he felt that happy bubble they’d created in Gstaad fading more and more beneath the weight of reality. She could turn away from him again, go back to the safety of her trio of protectors and hide from what he was offering her.

  A smart man would have prepared himself better for whatever was coming next, good or bad, but Roarke wasn’t ready. He only knew he was completely, irrevocably in love with Shana. He’d do whatever she needed, for as long as she needed him to. He just wished … he wished for a lot of things he knew he didn’t deserve. And that was always his problem, wanting things he couldn’t have … like the woman of his dreams. Still, for just a while longer though, he could pretend he had her. The way she’d smiled at him just now fed that foolish hope.

  He watched from the corner of the room when she hugged Jared and then embraced Angelo’s family members one by one. A pang of longing stung his heart as she kissed Jared’s cheek and then sat down to wait. She flashed him another relieved, comforted smile and he couldn’t help but smile back.

 

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