Choose the Bear, page 5
“You mean the assault?” Hadlee asked.
She started to tremble, and Indiana put a hand on her shoulder. She seemed to calm a little at his touch, and he lightly squeezed his fingers, massaging the tension out of her muscles.
“Yes. Given that he’s dead, we can’t exactly press charges for the assault. There’s no way for us to prosecute him for the crimes against you. But we can still share the details of what happened. It’s your choice.”
Hadlee glanced down at the floor, then suddenly turned to face Indiana. “What would you do?”
He was stunned that she wanted to know what he would do, but it also humbled him that she would trust him and his opinions.
“If it was me, I would tell everything. But that means people will look at you and know what happened to you. The assault doesn’t change who you are, no matter how differently everyone might look at you. You are the one who must decide what matters to you. The truth can hurt, but sometimes it is the right choice.”
She bit her bottom lip, her green eyes large and luminous as she stared back at him. He could feel the flutter of her thoughts in his head.
Can’t let anyone know ... but it isn’t right for people to mourn the death of a monster, were her unspoken words.
Hadlee faced the sheriff again. “I want to tell the truth about everything.”
Wade shot a look at Indiana, and Indiana knew what the man was thinking.
Not everything. No one could know a bear shifter had killed Chad Parker.
“Very well. I will inform the authorities in Chicago and Parker’s family.” Wade retrieved some paperwork from Tiffany’s desk. “Sign these release forms for your belongings.”
Hadlee signed the papers and handed them back to Wade.
“Could you stay in town a few days more, just in case we need to conduct any follow-up interviews or have questions? There’s a nice little motel about midway down Main Street.”
“Or you can stay with me,” Indiana volunteered at once, shocking himself. “If you want to, that is,” he adding in a slightly embarrassed murmur as he stared into the forest of her eyes. She wouldn’t want to stay with him, a stranger, a man, the damned bear who’d killed her boyfriend. What was he even thinking?
“Um ... that might be good, if you don’t mind,” she said after a moment.
“Are you sure, Ms. Wilson?” Wade asked. “You would be out in the woods where that bear attacked you.”
Indiana shot the sheriff a hard glare.
“Honestly, the woods don’t scare me, sheriff. The bear attacked Chad and left me alone. Besides, I think I rather like the quiet out there.”
Wade sighed. “Well, it’s quiet in town most of the time too.”
Indiana snorted. “Only during the day. At night, loggers, farmers, and cowboys come to town to hit the bar and grill for drinks and dancing. It’s not so quiet then.”
“True enough,” Wade agreed. “Well, let’s get your stuff, Ms. Wilson.” Wade went into the evidence lockup room and brought back a rolling suitcase and a backpack.
“We put your wallet and phone inside your hiker gear bag,” the sheriff said.
Indiana took the backpack before Hadlee could grasp it and slung it over his shoulder. Then he collected the rolling suitcase in his other hand.
“Indiana, you don’t have to—”
“You’re still healing,” he reminded her. “I don’t think the doc would like you tossing suitcases around with those broken ribs.”
She finally sighed, acquiescing. “Thanks, Sheriff,” she said.
“Sure thing.” Wade nodded back at her.
Tiffany called out as they reached the door. “If you want to hang with any girls, Hadlee, you call the station for my cell phone number. Jo and I like to go tease the cowboys on weekends, and tomorrow night is Saturday night.”
“Thanks,” Hadlee said to Tiffany, her face flushed red with a blush.
Indiana grunted as he exited the station. There was no way he’d let Hadlee tease any cowboys. The bear in him agreed. It was too dangerous to let her be around men after she’d been hurt. She needed to be rested, fed, and … well, cuddled, damnit. And that was what bears did best. As soon as he could, he wanted to get her bundled up on his lap and just hold her until her fears subsided. But he’d have to work to earn her trust.
He loaded Hadlee’s luggage in the back of the Bronco and helped her into the vehicle.
“You still want to stay with me?” he asked one more time.
Her face was still red as she nodded. “You feel safe. I probably have some kind of rescuer syndrome, but it’s true. The woods feel safe too. Even the bear—” She halted.
“Even the bear what?” he asked, bracing one booted foot on the runner of the Bronco as he kept the passenger door open to talk to her.
She fiddled with her seatbelt straps. “Even the bear feels safe. The worst he could do was kill me and maybe eat me, but then I’d be dead. So it wouldn’t matter.”
He hated this, hated that women had to frame the world in such a way that being dead was safer than having to suffer unspeakable horrors at the hands of men. Half the population of this planet lived nearly every day of their lives in terror and fear of what the other half would do to them. He couldn’t imagine what that would be like.
“I know good men exist. I know not all men are like Chad, but we don’t have a way to tell the good from the bad,” Hadlee admitted, as if reading Indiana’s thoughts.
Indiana reached up, cupping her chin in his palm. She was so touchable. He felt like a villain for thinking about how much he wanted to hold her and do so much more, especially after what she’d been through. He started to pull his hand away, but she leaned forward, catching his wrist with her slender, beautiful fingers.
“You keep pulling away from me like that, why?” she asked.
“I figured the last thing you want is a man touching you.”
“Oh, right…” Her shoulders sagged slightly. “But Chad was the one who hurt me. Indy, you aren’t Chad. I don’t want to be forced to give up physical contact with people, especially men, just because of him.”
God, this woman was brave. He wouldn’t blame her if she wanted nothing to do with men in general ever again, but here she was, stating she refused to let that asshole ruin her life, even after he was dead.
“Okay,” he said after a moment. “But if I do or say anything you don’t like, you need to tell me. I don’t know what it is about you but…” But I want to touch you, he added silently.
Then touch me, her voice replied in his head, startling him. He blinked. The thought had been so clear, like when he’d heard her pleas for help in the woods.
He once more lifted his hand to cup her chin and stopped letting his doubts crowd his mind. Indiana brushed the pad of his thumb over her bottom lip, lost in thoughts of taking that lip between his teeth and nibbling away at it. Bears did like to nibble. A lot. And Hadlee was as edible as they came. Just thinking that she might be a mate for him was too dangerous, too tempting. His bear was going to be impossible to control for long.
“Let’s get you back to my place so you can shower and rest.”
While she did, he would have a few calls to make in order to get some answers about what he and his bear were feeling for her.
5
Hadlee stared at the big shower in the guest suite of Indiana’s home. Was it possible to be intimidated by a beautiful bathroom? Indiana stood beside her, dominating the room despite the vastness of the stunning space. She nearly leaned into the heat that came off his body. He seemed so warm, so strong and stable, whereas she felt so cold and frail. It was as though one stiff wind could blow her away.
“Shampoo, conditioner, soap, and shower gel are inside the shower niche.” Indiana opened the shower door and Hadlee spotted the amber-colored bottles of beauty and hair care products sitting on shelves within the tiled walls. She glanced at him. He was well shaven and smelled good, but he definitely hadn’t come across as a man who knew his way around nice personal products.
“Spare toothbrushes, razors, and deodorant are in the drawers.” He gestured to the gray painted cabinets beneath the white granite countertops.
“Wow … do you have a lot of visitors?” she asked, trying not to sound overly curious.
A wry smile curved his lips as he gazed down at her. “Not as much as I would like. Even though I like to be alone out here, there are times when I wish these rooms had friends or family in them. Hell, I’d love to have a couple of cubs someday.”
“Cubs?”
He rubbed the back of his neck and glanced away. “I mean kids. You know, sometimes I jokingly call them cubs, like little bear cubs.” His eyes lit with a ginger-colored fire that made his entire face seem to glow with joy at the thought, despite his obvious embarrassment of talking about something that seemed so intimate.
“Oh, right, like Boy Scouts call the little ones Cub Scouts?” she asked.
“Yeah, something like that.” He cleared his throat. “Take your time in the shower. I’ll have dinner ready later tonight. Until then, all you need to do is shower and sleep.”
Shower and sleep. Those words sounded like pure heaven. Hadlee was relieved at receiving his gentle orders. She still felt so scattered emotionally and physically. Having some direction given to her helped her focus on what she needed to do.
“Thank you, Indy.”
He turned back to face her and cupped her chin in his hand as he looked at her.
“Honey, you have to stop thanking me. There are still good people out there. You are safe and you deserve to be safe. A woman should never have to thank a man for his protection or help. Being safe is a right you should demand, not one gifted by men who will barter for things from you.”
She knew he was right, but they both understood that for far too long, society had let men set the rules, rules that had forced women to turn over their bodies, their freedom, even their lives to men, on the promise of safety with the irony that most women who were victims of assault were attacked by their own domestic partners.
Just like she had been…
Still studying her closely, he stroked his thumb over her bottom lip. “If you need me, I’ll be in the den,” Indiana said.
“The den?” she asked.
“Yeah, the big room with the leather sectional and TV.”
“Oh, right.” Hadlee nodded. He meant family room. She forgot that some people called that room a den. Den was such a cozy word, and she really liked it.
He gave her one more assessing gaze before he dropped his hand from her face and stepped back. He left her and closed the door to give her privacy. She waited a minute before undressing and turning on the shower. The process of removing her clothes was painful and she ended up slowly peeling off each item. Her body protested each movement, her ribs aching and her muscles twinging. She adjusted the water temperature of the shower.
A waterfall spray above her and angled nozzles on the sides of the shower created an all-encompassing feeling of water hitting her skin from everywhere. She adjusted the temperature, making it hotter, as her skin felt cold and clammy. Hadlee winced as the spray hit her cuts and scrapes. She knew Indiana had supplies and she could redress her wounds later. She moved slowly, feeling a heavy stiffness settle in her limbs from being injured. She was really going to hurt tomorrow.
Tomorrow. She used to look forward to the future, to what each new day could bring, but she no longer did that. The past held pain, and the future seemed bleak. All she could hold onto was the present. But even that was almost impossible without creating panic attacks.
Chad was dead. She would have to face his parents, maybe even his friends and coworkers. What about her job? Her boss, her friends and coworkers? Everything was going to get worse before it got better, assuming it would ever get better. Her chest suddenly collapsed, and she couldn’t breathe. She sucked in a strangled breath and again her chest nearly caved in as her lungs ceased to work.
Can’t breathe … can’t think… She slumped into a ball on the floor in the shower, curling on her side, fighting for breath. The door to the bathroom slammed open and she jerked, lifting her head up enough to stare up at the hulking figure of a man on the other side of the expensive fogged glass.
“Fuck, Hadlee, I’m sorry but I’m coming in,” Indiana warned in a low growl.
She was shivering, despite the warmth of the water and didn’t move as he opened the shower door. He kicked off his boots and pulled off his socks, but he still wore his jeans and a dark-green T-shirt.
“You—you’ll ruin … your clothes,” she said through chattering teeth.
“Shit, my clothes don’t matter,” he muttered as he stepped into the shower. He eased his large frame down beside her. Then he reached over and lifted her up, pulling her onto his lap so he could cradle her. His strong arms banded around her. He rested his chin on top of her head and enveloped her within a manly cocoon. Somewhere in the back of her mind she registered she was naked on his lap, but it didn’t matter compared to the agony of her lungs and brain screaming for oxygen.
“Breathe for me,” he whispered in a low, slightly rough voice. Something about his tenderness broke the cement wall that had encased her lungs, and she started to sob, which let in heaving lungfuls of air.
Little by little she breathed deeper, and the shivers began to fade. She inhaled his scent. He smelled like the trees, earth, and fresh rain. Her mind moved away from thoughts of death and pain and focused on the scent of rain. How could he smell so wonderful?
Petrichor… That was the word he made her think of. It was the bacteria in the soil that blossomed after rain. Only humans could smell it—a trait humans had developed over thousands of years of evolution. Where humans smelled Petrichor, there was fertile soil to plant crops and water to drink.
Her mind drifted, suddenly picturing raindrops falling in slow motion all around her to land upon leaves and earth. She saw moss and mushrooms blossom. She glimpsed rabbits and deer licking the rain off leaves and blades of grass. Rainbow glints of trout in the cold, crystalline waters of the stream and the dark shiny surfaces of river stones… The rumble of a distant storm moved through her bones, and she felt the wind move through her thick fur…
Fur?
Hadlee blinked and she was back in the shower. Naked in Indiana’s lap.
Oh my God... She tried to move but he held onto her tightly.
“Easy, honey,” he said. “Easy, you’re still coming down from that rush of emotions. Just—”
“Let me go!” she demanded, her voice pitched to a frantic level.
He released her immediately and she scrambled off his lap and stood, trying to cover herself with her hands and failing.
“Good, you’re breathing again,” he said as he got to his feet. He kept his gaze averted from her. “Now that you’re okay, I’ll go.”
“Wait!” she blurted out without thinking. He halted, his hand on the shower door. “Just wait,” she said again. She didn’t want him to leave. But what did she want?
The smell of him was making her a bit dizzy but not in a bad way. That smell of rain and something more … human filled the space within her, creating a molten heat inside her body that had nothing to do with the hot water. Indiana’s T-shirt was molded to his muscled frame, and she was so very aware of how strong he was. His body was corded steel, and even the area round his groin featured a hard bulge pressing against his jeans. He was turned on … by her? Rather than terrify her, the fact filled her with a shivery excitement she hadn’t felt in so long. She tried to focus herself back on the conversation she was supposed to be having with him.
“Sorry. I’m just a little freaked out. But I…” She bit her lip. “I want you to stay. I want to forget him. I want to feel something again and make sure I’m not broken.”
At her embarrassing confession he turned around, his eyes staying on her face rather than dropping to her naked body. Why didn’t he make a move?
“Tell me exactly what you want, Hadlee. That’s how this has to work. When it comes to sex, you call the shots on everything we do.”
Hadlee licked her lips. “Kiss me?” It came out a question.
“You sure?” He frowned as he slowly backed her into the walled corner of the large shower. His gaze strayed from her eyes, finally dropping down to her lips. She saw primal hunger in his face that gave her delicious shivers.
“Yeah, I’m sure,” she whispered. “But you need to do it. I’ve never been the one to make the first move with a guy.”
“I can do that.” He stepped even closer, cornering her fully against the wall as he reached up to cup her chin and tilt her head back so he could gaze down at her. “Tell me to stop at any time,” Indiana said before he lowered his head and kissed her.
His lips were soft, warm, and so perfect as he moved his mouth over hers. She parted her lips, flicking her tongue against his, and he growled in encouragement. Then he deepened the kiss, pressing her tighter to the shower wall, her bare breasts rubbing against his wet shirt. Above them the hot water rained down like they were caught in a tropical storm with heat and steam curling around their bodies.
He tasted good. She’d almost forgotten that a kiss could be pure magic, that it could set her soul flying. She clutched his shoulders and lifted one leg, curling it around his hip to get even closer. Her pelvis rubbed against his jean-clad thigh. The slightly rough texture of the denim excited her clit as she pressed against him. Zings of pleasure went through her so unexpectedly that she gasped against his lips. He suddenly braced his hands on the tile on either side of her head and continued to kiss her as he moved his hips in a slow roll into her body, letting her ride his thigh the way she so desperately needed.
“That’s it, honey, you take what you need,” he murmured before kissing down to her neck and then his teeth grazed her shoulder.
Heat exploded through her as he lightly bit down, like some animal holding his mate still. Just the idea made her climax so suddenly and so hard she screamed. The raw, throaty sound echoed throughout the bathroom and beneath it was a rumbling, pleased sound coming from Indiana. She’d never heard a man make a sound like that, so primal, so animalistic. The sound conjured up images of being bent over and fucked hard, of her taking him deep, hard and fast and not being able to walk afterward without feeling him between her thighs. She shook hard, her legs shuddering as her body reacted to the mental image as powerfully as it had to the climax she’d just experienced.
