Winter of the Shadow Fae, page 19
Just hearing him say that infuriated me. I didn’t want to love anyone else.
“That’ll never happen,” I growled.
Kai moved closer, his hands grasping my face. I could feel the dream world shift, and panic rose in my chest. “Yes, it will,” he urged. “And I’m not going to stand in the way.”
He pressed his lips to mine, so soft but then urgent. I tried to hold onto him, but he tore away from me, disappearing through the fog. I could only see an outline of him as he walked away.
“Kai!” I shouted, rushing after him. “Dammit, Kai! Stop!”
But then everything disappeared.
I bolted awake and clutched my chest, wishing it was a bad dream. Sadly, it wasn’t, and there was no way I could go to him. What I feared the most was never seeing him again. I had to find a way. He wasn’t going to have the final say on what I did and didn’t need.
Chapter 33
Ella
Sleep did not find me again after the dream. Instead, I sat by the window and watched the snow fall until morning, thinking of ways to get Kai back. One way or another, Kai was going to hear me out. If the land was keeping me from him, there had to be a reason; I was going to find out what it was.
Once dressed in my silver and black warrior gear, I strapped my dagger to my belt and took off out the door. It felt like I was about to go into battle. In a way, I was. I wanted all of my power back. I wanted to be the queen of my court and love the man who had sacrificed everything for me. But most of all, I wanted to know why we’d been forbidden to see each other.
Was it because he was an enemy of the Land of the Fae? If that were the case, why was he accepted into the Hereafter? He’d obviously proven himself worthy. Yet, there were so many unanswered questions.
Before reaching the forest line, I glanced over my shoulder at my parents’ Ice Court palace and my grandparents’ Winter Court castle in the distance. Things were about to change for our people. I was going to bring a new dynamic to the Land of the Fae.
Turning on my heel, I started on my way through the forest to the border of the Ice Court and the unclaimed land beyond it. The land called to me, beckoning me closer with each step I took. The last time I visited the border, I was afraid the land had forsaken me after allowing myself to get close to Kai. But instead, the magic had coursed through my body the second I touched the snowy ground.
I’d always been fascinated with how vast the Land of the Fae was; it was constantly growing and changing. My Frost Court was going to be connected to all of Winter, but it was going to be mine. The same went for my brother when it was his time to claim his part of the land. The Winter Court was going to be a force to be reckoned with.
Centuries ago, there was only one Winter king and queen. Now there were two kings and almost three queens. All I had to do was proclaim my allegiance to my court.
Once at the border, I stopped at the line and looked out at the snowy meadow. That was all it was: just an endless scene of pure white. The land had been waiting a long time for me. It wasn’t until just recently that I found my true purpose.
“Here we go,” I whispered, letting out a nervous breath as I stepped over the border.
The second my foot touched the ground, the land came alive. I knew I belonged to Winter, but this was different. It was like being lost for so long and finally finding your way home.
Dropping to my knees, I pushed my hands through the snow until I touched the ground beneath. An electrical surge of energy burst through my body, almost like a heartbeat attaching to my soul. The land was ready for me to say the words, to take what was mine. It was ready to listen to me.
“I’m here,” I murmured. “I’m sorry it took so long.” Then, with a heavy sigh, I sat on my knees and watched the snow fall. “I’ve always known I was ready to be queen, but I never knew my path until recently. Things have changed over the years, especially now that the Land of the Fae has a Fall and Spring Court. It’s clear that the land wants to grow.”
I held out my hands and smiled when a snowflake landed on my palm; it melted and quickly turned into frost. Trees formed in the distance and all around me, all sparkling white with frost.
“I have a plan to make my court different from the rest,” I continued. “There are so many fae out there in the mortal world who were cast out for simply loving the wrong people. I want to give them a chance to come back, to give them the home that was taken from them because of rules that made no sense. A Winter fae should be able to love a Summer without consequences, and vice versa. I’m going to make things right. With being a Keeper, I’ve met so many of those fae who missed this land and would’ve done anything to come back. My mission is to find the ones still out there, to fill my court with people who want to dedicate their allegiance to this land. I promise to be a good queen with an open mind and heart.”
The land shifted beneath me, and more frost-covered trees formed but that wasn’t all. Mountains appeared in the distance with a frozen lake at the base; it looked exactly like mine and Kai’s secret spot in Wyoming.
Closing my eyes, I could feel the burn of tears threatening to break free. Seeing the mountains and the frozen lake had to be a sign.
“Please,” I whispered, opening my heart. I wanted the land to feel my love, grief, and complete devotion. “I am a part of you, and you are a part of me. My loyalty has always been to the Land of the Fae and to my people, even if it might not have appeared that way not too long ago. I fell in love with an enemy, and in doing so, it saved not only my life but those I care about and those I have sworn to protect. That love made me feel complete.” Taking a deep breath, I held it in and then let it out slowly. “That’s why I’m asking you to let me have that love back.”
When I opened my eyes, my tears fell and dropped to the ground. Then, almost instantly, a gust of wind swept by, and the icy snow danced around me, tickling my skin. It absorbed into me, and I could feel the strength of my court coursing through my veins. Everything I had lost came back to me tenfold, including my connection to the Hereafter. But I’d gained a lot more than that.
On my head was a crown of ice and frost.
I was now the queen of the Frost Court, and I had the power to do what I longed for.
The wind began to die down and I smiled. “Thank you.”
“You did it, Ella,” Lailah called out. “I always knew you would.” I turned around and faced her, her long flowing emerald gown shimmering with frost as she walked toward me. She grinned as she nodded at my crown. “You make a beautiful queen.”
“Thank you,” I said.
She reached for my hands and sighed. “I’m sorry you had to go through so much heartache. But, as you can see, you had the answer all along. The land just needed to hear it. Your words and your tears were all it took.”
It was crazy to think that it was so simple yet complicated at the same time.
Lailah kissed my cheek and let me go. “I believe there’s somewhere else you’d rather be right now.”
“Yes,” I laughed, picturing Kai in my mind.
My connection to the Hereafter opened.
I was ready to get in the last word.
Chapter 34
Ella
The second I stepped through to the Hereafter, I concentrated on Kai and was taken directly to him. I didn’t know what I would see or what setting he’d made for himself, but it warmed my heart to see everything covered in frost. It was the same place in my dream last night, including the white-stoned castle in the distance.
Standing by the trees with his back to me was Kai, only he wasn’t dressed in white . . . he was in black. His shoulders tensed the second I knew he felt my presence.
I stalked toward him, not even attempting to keep my steps quiet. “The next time you think of walking away from me, make sure I can’t find you,” I called out, stopping right behind him.
He hung his head. “I see you got clearance to come back here,” he replied, his voice tired.
“I got more than that. Look at me, Kai.”
Sighing sadly, he ran a hand through his hair. “It’s been hard enough leaving you the first time. I can’t keep doing this. The more I see you, the more I want to be with you.”
It broke my heart to hear the pain in his voice. “I understand that all too well. Imagine how much it hurt to watch you walk away and be powerless to stop you.”
“What do you want, Ella? I can already tell you that whatever it is, I can’t give it to you, not in the way you deserve.”
I took another step, his body so close. All I’d have to do is reach out my hand and I’d be able to touch him.
“I’ll be the judge of that,” I murmured. “But if you want to know what I want, I’ll tell you.” Sliding my arms around his waist, I rested my head against his back. His scent engulfed me, and I breathed him in, wishing I could feel his arms around me. “I want you, Kai. I can’t imagine my life without you in it. If you want me to let you go, I’ll do it, but it has to be the truth, not some bullshit excuse about me needing to love someone else.” When he didn’t reply, I held him tighter. “Tell me you don’t want me. I’ll walk away.”
His hands slid over mine, and he pulled mine apart so he could turn and face me. When he did, he noticed my crown, and a sad smile formed on his lips.
“I can’t,” he said, piercing me with his steely gray eyes.
“Why not?” I breathed, trailing my hands up his chest.
A low growl escaped his lips. Then, clasping my face in his firm grasp, he kissed me hungrily, the heat from it warming me in all the right places.
“Because I do want you,” he said, resting his forehead on mine. “I would give anything to be with you, to make you my wife . . . to start a family. If I could make it happen, I would.”
“You can,” I whispered.
He pulled back, his eyes searching mine. “How?”
I held up my hands, and they glowed a brilliant gold. “I have the power to make it so. It was a gift from my land. Lailah was able to do it with my mother when she brought her back from death. I can only use it once, so you need to let me know. I won’t have this power ever again.” I clutched his face. “Do you want to come back with me? I will be yours and you’ll be mine. The Frost Court will have its king.”
His breaths came out faster. “Is this truly what you want?”
I kissed him gently. “I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t. Now take my hands. We’re going home.”
The second his hands grasped mine, the light between us grew brighter. It burned so brilliantly that it was all I could see. But then, it all faded away and we were right back in the Land of the Fae . . . in our court. The Frost Court.
Kai looked around at the mountains and took a deep breath. “I’m alive.” He lifted me in his arms, his kiss urgent. “Fuck, it feels good.”
That wasn’t the only thing that was different with him. I could feel the magic inside of him, all of it light. He still had the power of the Four. But more importantly, the darkness he'd gotten from his father was gone.
“And you’re just as strong,” I added.
He looked down at his hands, smirking mischievously. “I am.” When he gazed back at me, his eyes had so much heat that it made me tremble. “Now that I’m here, I have a question to ask you.”
“And what is that?”
He dropped to one knee and took my hands. “Are you ready? Because I know I am.”
“Ready for what?”
“To give yourself to me completely. I willingly gave up my life for you, and I’d do it a thousand times. There’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t do to keep you safe. You showed me what love is, and I feel whole for the first time in my life. I never wanted to let you go, but I thought it was what needed to be done. I’m ready to bind myself to you in every way possible. Just pick the date.”
With tears burning my eyes, I dropped to my knees with him. “I don’t need to pick a date. I choose now.”
His brows furrowed. “What about your family? Your friends?”
My heart started to race. I didn’t want to wait another moment to make him mine forever. “I don’t need a grand celebration. All I need is you.” Taking his hands, I held them tightly in mine. “I love you, Kai. On this day, I take you as my husband, my lover . . . and my king. Things might not be easy considering what we’ve been through and who you are, but my land chose you. I chose you. We’re going to change the Land of the Fae together. As long as I have you by my side, there’s nothing we can’t do. Amin mela lle ilyamemie ar’ ten’oio. It means ‘I will love you always and forever.’”
Kai smiled. “I know. My mother taught me the elvish language when I was a kid.”
That made me smile. “All you have to do is say it back.”
Kai lifted my hands to his lips, kissing both. “I don’t have a ring to give you, but I have something more important—my promise. I promise to be there for you when you need me. And I promise to be loyal and faithful. I will do everything I can to make you happy. You have changed my life in ways I never thought possible. Spending forever with you is the best gift anyone could have ever given me.” He squeezed my hands. “Amin mela lle ilyamemie ar’ ten’oio. I love you, Ella. You are my queen, my heart, and my soul.”
Like before when I claimed my land, the snow swirled all around us, glowing as it entered us, tethering us together. I watched in awe as the crown formed on his head, signaling the birth of his true identity.
King of the Frost Court.
Kai pulled me into him, his lips warm as we sealed the bond of our union. “Close your eyes,” he whispered, nipping my bottom lip. “There’s something I want to give you.” I did as he said and felt his magic surround me. Chuckling, he helped me to my feet and wrapped his arms around me from behind. “Open them now.”
When I did, I gasped at the sight before me. The frosty white castle from our dreams was no longer just that; it was real, and it was ours.
“It’s beautiful,” I breathed.
Kai kissed the side of my neck, sending shivers down my skin. “Now that you’re my wife, does that mean the honeymoon starts right now?”
I rubbed my back against him, loving the feel of his hardness pressing into me. “Oh, yes. I have a feeling it’s going to be a long one.”
Picking me up in his arms, he carried me inside our castle. “I’m not going to complain about that.”
Chapter 35
Kai
FIVE DAYS LATER
It’s been five days since Ella brought me back to life and I’d taken on the role as king. Every morning I wake up and see Ella beside me, thinking it’s just a dream. But then she’d smile and kiss me, drawing me back to the here and now.
Sliding my hand down her bare arm, I smiled when she trembled under my touch. “I was having a good dream,” she grumbled, turning around to face me.
“Care to tell me about it?” I propositioned.
She bit her lip. “Oh, I will, but unfortunately, it has to be later. Marin’s coming by this morning to go over all the wedding details. I promised her an extravagant ceremony, and I’m going to give it to her.”
She hopped out of bed, and I watched her grab a silky light green dress out of the closet, the fabric sliding down her smooth, creamy skin as she put it on. She was so fucking beautiful. If I had my way, we’d never leave our bedroom. While wrapping her hair up into a messy bun, Ella strolled over and sat down next to me.
“Just to give you a heads up, my parents are stopping by tonight.”
I nodded. “They’re still skeptical of me. I saw it on their faces when I officially met them the other day. The same goes for your grandparents.”
Her father would be hard to get through, but I could understand that. I’d be the same way if I had a daughter.
Ella leaned over me and smiled. “They’ll come around. All that matters is that we’re together. We have a job to do, and I can’t wait to start our search.”
Taking her chin, I pulled her closer and kissed her. “Speaking of said job, there’s somewhere I want to go today. I think I’m ready.”
Her eyes widened. “Seriously? Do you want me to go with you? Marin will understand.”
I shook my head. “No. Keep your plans with your friend. I need to do this alone.”
Ella smiled and squeezed my hand. “You’ll do fine. I have faith in you.” She kissed me on the cheek. “I’ll see you when you get back.” She walked to the door and then stopped. “Oh, and at some point, I need to take you through the Mystical Forest. If you’re going to be a king in this realm, you need to meet all the creatures in it. We have redcaps, leprechauns, nymphs, imps, you name it.”
I’d already met a tribe of brownies; several had come from the Winter Court castle to work for Ella and me. However, I wasn't that knowledgeable when it came to the other different creatures in the Land of the Fae. There was so much I didn’t know but looked forward to learning about.
“Are there trolls?” I asked, mainly saying it as a joke.
Ella nodded and her nose scrunched up. “Yes, and they’re not exactly friendly. They have warty faces and terrible teeth. I haven’t seen one in a long time. They like to stay deep in the forest.”
“Very well,” I said.
She winked and gave me a reassuring smile before walking out the door. For the past few days, we’ve started planning to seek out those fae in the mortal realm who deserved a chance to return home. In her grandparents’ palace, there were ledgers of all the fae cast out of the realm and the reasons why. Those who betrayed the Land of the Fae weren’t going to get a second chance, but there were plenty who deserved one.
However, my mission today wasn’t to search for them; it was to find Piper and our half-sisters she’d chosen to live with in Virginia. I barely knew Angelina and Zoe, but they were good women. They didn’t want anything to do with me or my brothers. All they wanted was peace instead of war.
