Simon is the best delivery boy that Mr Edwards’s restaurant has ever had. He’s on time every time, and he’s gotten nothing but good reviews. But he needs more money. His mother’s medical treatment won’t pay for itself, and his father is already working three jobs to try to make ends meet. But it might just be his lucky day. Mr Edwards has another job for him. It’s more delivery work, but not the usual kind. You might even say that it’s out of this world. Oh well. Beggars can’t be choosers, and the pay is fantastic. Of course, it’s not going to be easy, and he does have to keep the whole thing secret. But come hell or high water, Simon is going to get the job done. It doesn’t matter if it’s warring demons, angry tree-folk, or ornery artificial intelligences, nothing is going to stop him from making his deliveries. He’s not a normal delivery boy anymore – he’s a cosmic delivery boy.

Two necromancers, a dwarf kingdom, and a sky city – it sounds like a prelude to mayhem, and given Timmy’s luck, that’s exactly what’s going to happen.   To keep his castle and earn his pardon, Timmy has his work cut out for him. Whether it’s rescuing princesses, crushing hordes of goblins, or dealing with eldritch abominations, Timmy and the gang are there to save the day – and rob the occasional crime lord.   But saving the day isn’t always easy. Timmy might be an eminently sensible necromancer, but he has to deal with a young dragon who is convinced that every problem can be eaten, an elf obsessed with property damage, an ancient vampire who can’t get through a mission without being impaled repeatedly, a semi-retired legendary swordsman, a bureaucrat who has finally mastered the art of screaming and swinging a frying pan, and an overly ambitious apprentice doing her best to be more menacing despite loving the colour pink.   It’s hardly a surprise when things don’t exactly go to plan.   With war on the horizon, Timmy and the others have their hands full. Rescuing a princess can be difficult at the best of times, but rescuing a princess from one of the most powerful crime lords in the world? That’s going to be tricky.   And that’s not their only problem. Ever wonder whose job it is to deal with rampaging hordes of goblins that are about to overwhelm a kingdom of dwarves? Well, that’s Timmy’s job. Isn’t he lucky? On the upside, he finally has an excuse to deploy another army of zombies. He’s going to teach those goblins a very important lesson: never, ever get into a war of attrition with a necromancer.   One necromancer is dangerous. Two necromancers with a dragon, a vampire, a swordsman, an elf, and a bureaucrat – that’s downright deadly.

Two necromancers, a dragon, and a vampire – it sounds like a shortcut to disaster, and for Timmy, it’s certainly looking that way. To earn his pardon and avoid becoming yet another necromancer statistic, Timmy has to work for the Council. From bandit uprisings to giant sea serpents and ogre invasions, Timmy and the others are there to save the day – sort of. And despite relying on overly intelligent ninja rats, an elf who believes that fire is the answer to everything, a bureaucrat who struggles to stay conscious through an entire fight, and a precocious apprentice who has designs on his castle, property damage per mission is down, they haven’t blown up another mountain, and they’ve gone several missions without ripping a hole in reality. Naturally, it won’t last. When the dragon egg their resident pyromaniac stole hatches to reveal the world’s cuddliest harbinger of death, Timmy and the others are dragged into a pair of diabolically dangerous missions. Breaking out of one of the world’s most secure prisons was hard enough. Now, they have to break back in to rescue a vampire. And then there’s the Eye of the Abyss. Does your country have a problem with a divine artefact capable of singlehandedly winning a war? Don’t worry. Just send Timmy and the gang. They’ll handle it, and Timmy might even get to live every necromancer’s dream with… zombie pirates. Timmy and the others want their pardons, and they’re not going to let anyone stop them, not armies, not fleets, not even the most powerful empire the world has ever seen that just so happens to hold a centuries-old grudge against Everton. The world is going to learn a very important lesson: never, ever underestimate a necromancer with a shovel and time to plan.**

Two necromancers, a bureaucrat, and an elf – it sounds like the start of a bad joke, only the joke is on Timmy. Timothy Walter Bolton – better known as Timmy – has spent most of his life as a necromancer. When he isn’t terrorising his enemies, he’s plotting inside his castle, which is built on top of lightless chasms filled with nameless horrors and beings of a generally malevolent and megalomaniacal nature. But after one of his latest creations, a zombie hydra-dragon-bear, tries to eat him, he decides that maybe it’s time to find a new, less dangerous, career. But that’s easier said than done. He’s a wanted criminal with no shortage of powerful (and crazy) enemies, and he has a bone or two to pick with the Everton Council of Mages. Hope arrives in the form of a new law. War is coming to Everton, and the Council is desperate. In exchange for providing some help, Timmy might just earn that pardon he’s been looking for. Of course, just because it’s possible to earn a pardon doesn’t mean that it’s going to be easy. To earn his pardon, Timmy is going to have to take down some of Everton’s most dangerous enemies and put together a quirky group of unconventional heroes, most of whom want nothing more than to mangle him and/or the Council in as vicious a way as possible. It’s a good thing that he’s got some help: an obnoxious ten-year-old apprentice who thinks that pink glasses are appropriate for a budding necromancer and a bumbling bureaucrat who may or may not make it through their first real fight without puking his guts up. Wonderful. Still, Timmy’s never been one to back down from a challenge even if their first recruit is basically the elf version of the bogeyman.