Promise Broken, page 9
“I’m going to.”
“C’mon, Promise. You’ve got tons of potential. You’ve got the grades and the demeanor to attend a really good school and excel in life, but sometimes I feel like you’re intentionally trying to shoot yourself in the foot. What are you afraid of?”
“I don’t know,” Promise lied. The truth of the matter was, Dell had already made it clear that she didn’t want Promise putting her income down on any of her college paperwork. She got a check for Promise from the city every month, in addition to her job and side hustles, but was giving her grief over the paperwork. Her reason was that she didn’t want to have any debt on her when it was time for Brianna to go off to college. The best Promise was hoping for was possibly getting into a community college and getting a two-year degree instead of a four-year. It wasn’t what she had planned to do, but since coming to live with Dell, Promise had learned to differ her dreams.
Mr. Sung saw he’d hit on a sensitive subject, so he didn’t prod any further. “Okay, Promise. Just try not to wait too long to handle all this stuff. I don’t want you to miss out on your shot to be great.”
Promise knew that he hadn’t meant anything by the statement, but something about it pinched her. She paused, searching for a response that would be respectful, yet potent. “Whether I make it to college or not, I’m still gonna be great. Thanks for caring though,” she told him and left the classroom.
CHAPTER 10
By the time Promise jumped off the bus in her neighborhood, she found that she was no longer tired. In fact, she was anxious. Mr. Sung had given her some serious food for thought about college. Though he made a lot of sense in what he was saying, about going out and exploring the world, he didn’t know how her life was set up. The situation she was placed in with her aunt Dell was set up for her to fail. The only way she could ever truly achieve something for herself would be to get out of her aunt Dell’s house. How she planned on doing that was still anyone’s guess.
Since she was no longer in a rush to get home and take a nap she decided to check in on Mouse. There were a few spots where her homegirl could be held up, but she started with the most likely: her apartment. Unless she had to make runs with Ab, Mouse didn’t generally come out of the house until late afternoon, sometimes early evening. It would’ve been easier for her to just call and ask where she was since Mouse now had a cell, but Promise didn’t. When she was approaching Mouse’s building, her mother was coming out so maybe it would save Promise the trouble of having to walk up the stairs.
Max looked less like a fiend that afternoon. She was dressed in jeans and a long fall coat. Gold, wire-rimmed glasses covered her eyes and her hair was combed into a sleek ponytail. From a distance you could hardly tell that she was an addict, but once you got up close you would see her trying to keep herself from going into the dope-fiend lean. Her somewhat neat attire probably meant that she was about to go out boosting. When Max saw Promise, she tried to straighten up and make herself look sober.
“Hey, Ms. Max,” Promise greeted her.
“How you, Promise?” Max replied.
“Fine, thanks. Is Mouse home?”
“Hmpf, I ain’t seen her since she took off at about eleven-thirty this morning. She said she’d be back in an hour, but of course she never popped back up. I told that girl I needed to hold ten dollars so I can have some bus fare to go to the welfare office,” Max said, rummaging through the pockets of her overcoat as if some money would magically appear in one of them.
Two things didn’t mesh with Max’s story. For one, it was almost 5:00 p.m. so there was no way she was going to catch the welfare office. Even if she did it would be too late for them to really do anything for her. Second, the welfare office was only four blocks away. She wouldn’t need to take the bus to get there. Promise knew what was coming long before Max opened her mouth again.
“You think you can let me hold a twenty? You know? Until you see Mouse and she could settle up with you.” Max cracked on her.
Promise turned the pockets of her jeans out to show that they were empty. “Sorry, I ain’t got it, Max.”
Max narrowed her eyes. “You spend all that time running behind Mouse in these streets and you ain’t getting nothing out of the deal?” She chuckled. “And here I had always thought that you were the brains of y’all little crew.”
“Mouse was my friend when she was still broke. A few dollars don’t change nothin’. I don’t hang around her because of what she can give me, but because I love her,” Promise informed Max.
“Love gonna stop your belly from growling in the middle of the night when your aunt puts the padlock on the refrigerator?” Max asked. Promise was silent. “That’s what I thought. Look, Promise. I ain’t trying to tell you to be no leach off Mouse. I’m just telling you to stop taking so many risks with her and not reap any of the rewards. A spectator gonna get just as much time as a player in the game if it goes down, so why not get in where you fit in?”
Phyllis came walking up. She too was dressed in clean clothes and a long coat. The only difference between her and Max was that Phyllis had that desperate look in her eyes. The look of an addict who hadn’t had a blast in a few hours and was looking to score before they got sick. Phyllis nodded in greeting to Promise before huddling with Max and speaking in hushed tones. They broke the huddle and began walking to the bus stop. Before Max left she had some parting words for Promise. “Remember what I said, Promise! This ain’t no spectator sport,” she called over her shoulder.
Promise stood there for a few seconds, watching the two drug addicts until they bent the corner and disappeared from sight. “The wisdom of fiends,” she chuckled to herself.
* * *
Promise’s next stop in her search for Mouse would be the strip. She had to pass her house to get there, so she had to move extra cautiously to make sure her aunt didn’t spot her out the window. She would likely find some errand to send her on. Not because she really needed her, but just to fuck with her.
She crossed to the other side of the street to better her chances of passing without being seen. She spotted a dude she recognized from the block lingering on the side of the house. Every so often he would cast a suspicious glance around like he was up to no good. Promise didn’t rock with him like that, and she was pretty sure he hadn’t come to visit Keys, so what the hell was he doing? She was about to cross the street to investigate when Brianna’s head came into view. She hadn’t been able to see her at first because her body was obscured by the bushes. She looked to be cursing the boy out and spitting something into the grass. “Nasty little bitch,” Promise mumbled once she realized what her cousin had been doing behind the bushes.
She reached the end of the block without bumping into any of her relatives, but that didn’t mean that she wasn’t spotted. And this was probably one of the last people she wanted to see. He came ambling in her direction, dressed in skinny jeans and Jordan’s. When he saw Promise, he smiled, showing off the dull cheese-colored gold teeth in his mouth. They made his breath stink to high hell, but it didn’t stop him from always being in girl’s faces trying to holla. Promise thought about turning and going in the other direction, but he had already spotted her.
“Snowflake! What the deal?” Milk greeted her. Everyone called him Milk, but the boy was as black as tar.
“How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that?” Promise asked with an attitude.
“I don’t mean nothing by it, baby girl. It’s just my pet name for you. So, where you off to lookin’ all good? You must’ve been about to come and see me.” Milk undressed her with his eyes.
“Not in this lifetime.” She sucked her teeth.
“C’mon, Promise! Why you be treatin’ me like I’m ugly or something?” Milk asked loudly. He was being overly dramatic, as he was sometimes known to be.
Promise looked around nervously to make sure none of her relatives had heard him shouting her name to the heavens. “Walk with me,” she grabbed him by the hand and pulled him away from her block.
“That’s what I’m talking about.” Milk beamed, completely misreading the sign.
“You seen Mouse today?” She cut him off because he could go into whatever corny game he was about to try and spit at her.
Milk frowned, not really feeling the fact that he was stopped before he could even get started. “I saw her a little while ago. She at the spot.”
“Okay, thanks.” Promise made to walk away, but Milk grabbed her by the arm.
“Don’t be so quick to rush off. I was thinking that we could chop it up right quick,” Milk said smoothly.
“Milk, I already know what it’s hittin’ for so I’m gonna save you some grief. It ain’t gonna happen,” Promise told him. Milk had been pressing her since Mouse started her around. He wasn’t her type though. He was loud, too aggressive, and too ugly. She’d been shooting him down politely, but he still didn’t seem to be getting the hint. In fact, it seemed like rejection only made him more determined.
“Promise, you act like I’m only trying to fuck. I really wanna get to know you,” Milk insisted. Of course, he wanted to get into her pants, but he was also fascinated by her extra light skin. He felt like entering a room with a white girl on his would give him prestige. His thinking was jacked, but so was just about everything else about Milk.
“Milk, we’re peoples. Let’s not try and make it more than that, okay?” Promise tried to let him down gently.
“Oh, I get it. You only ridin’ Asher’s dick? You don’t think I’m good enough for you, huh?” Milk accused. His tone was angry and his eyes flashed hurt.
“You straight buggin’, Milk. There is absolutely nothing going on between me and Asher. We’re friends, just like you and me,” Promise told him.
“Yeah, right! You don’t look at me the way you look at him. You think nobody has peeped what’s going on between y’all?”
“There is absolutely nothing between us. As a matter of fact, I don’t even know why I’m standing here explaining myself to you.” Promise sucked her teeth and walked off. Milk was hot on her heels.
“Don’t walk away from me when I’m talking to you, bitch!” Milk spun her around to face him. “You think you somebody because you white? But you live in the same ghetto with the rest of us niggas! Y’all crackers always want somebody to kiss your ass for something.” Milk stepped forward, invading her space.
Promise became very nervous, heart beating and palms beginning to sweat. Milk got a little handsy with his flirting in the past, but he had never come on this strong. For a minute she wasn’t sure whether he was going to try and hit her or not.
“You need to calm down and back up off me,” she warned him. Her hand slipped around to her back pocket where she kept her box cutter. Mouse had gotten her into the habit of always carrying something that could get her out of an uncomfortable situation, such as this one.
“What you gonna do? Tell Mouse on me? She gonna run it up the line to Ab like he really gives a fuck about her?” Milk sneered. “You bitches ain’t nothing but the help and as soon as the big homies get finished running through y’all, you’re gonna get passed to us soldiers. By then, maybe I ain’t gonna feel like being so nice to you anymore.” He traced her arm with his finger, causing Promise to flinch. “Yeah, white bitch. You scared now, huh?”
“Why don’t you chill?” Someone spoke behind them. They turned to see Keys coming in their direction. Promise had seen Keys sporadically since their argument, but things hadn’t really been the same. Something was missing from their relationship. Still, she had never been so happy in her life to see him.
“This ain’t your business, Church Boy,” Milk said dismissively.
“Maybe, maybe not . . . but I wasn’t raised to watch no man beat on no woman. It cut even different when the woman is my best friend,” Keys said. His tone wasn’t threatening, he was more stating a fact.
“What? You wanna take her lumps?” Milk turned his attention to Keys.
“If need be,” Keys replied.
Milk moved in so close that they were nose to nose. Keys did not avert his eyes. Milk could tell that he was afraid, but he could also tell that he would fight if he pressed the issue. He was in the process of weighing his odds against the church boy before Promise saved him from having to place the bet.
“Leave people the fuck alone.” Promise shoved Milk away from Keys with one hand and let her box cutter hang at her side with the other.
Milk’s eyes went from the box cutter to the girl defending her friend. “Bitch, you know what’ll happen to you if you cut me?”
“Yup, people are gonna wanna know why. Block is gonna be hot after that, and Ab is gonna wanna know whose fault it was. You see the position my homegirl is in; so, whose story do you think Ab is going to believe? The one coming from you or the one coming from the white girl?” Promise bluffed him. She would never drag Mouse into anything she’d gotten into on the streets and especially wouldn’t try to have her bring it to Ab. She was just giving Milk some food for thought. It worked.
“Man, fuck both of y’all!” Milk waved his hand dismissively. He started backing away but had some parting words for Promise. “Remember what I told you, white girl. One of these days, when the big homies have had their fun, it’ll be my turn and I’m going to remember this.”
It wasn’t until Milk was out of sight that Promise released the tense breath that she had been holding. She knew that the situation could’ve gone bad, and it likely would have if Keys hadn’t shown up. She looked to her friend, who was trying to hide his nervousness. His hand was tapping against his thigh feverishly. He did that whenever he was afraid. Promise doubted that he was even aware of the tick. “Thanks,” she said softly.
“I should be the one thanking you. That dude probably would’ve kicked my ass.” Keys mustered a smile. “You good?”
“Yeah, I’m straight. I’m used to overaggressive boys by now,” Promise said as if the situation hadn’t been a big deal.
“The company you keep,” Keys said softly.
“Excuse me?”
“The company you keep,” Keys repeated. “The company you keep can sometimes attract the wrong energy to you. You should be careful.”
“Thanks for the advice, Dad,” Promise said sarcastically.
“I ain’t trying to be your dad. I’m just looking out,” he told her. There was a beat of dead air. “Promise, I know things ain’t been right with us in a while, and I just wanted to tell you again how sorry I am for what happened.”
“Ain’t no big deal, Keys,” she said as if she hadn’t been devastated over it.
“Nah, it is a big deal. You guys were my best friends . . . the three amigos, but now we don’t even hang out anymore,” Keys said.
Promise shrugged. “Don’t read too much into it, Keys. Me and Mouse just been moving around a little more lately.”
“Since when have the two of you not been off somewhere making moves? It’s never affected our friendship before. This is different, I can feel it. I know this is my fault, and I can wear that. I just wanna know what I can do to fix it?” Keys’s tone was almost pleading.
“Can’t fix something that ain’t broke. I still love you Keys, but that doesn’t mean that I still trust you,” Promise told him. Keys levying the personal things at her during their argument had left some lingering emotional scars. She wasn’t bitter about it anymore, but still tender. “Thanks again. I’ll see you around, huh?”
Keys stood there for a long while. He wanted to leave, to turn away and run even, but he found himself unable to move. His body trembled, though he wasn’t sure if it was caused by the heartache that came with being rejected or the rage over it all? He balled and unballed his fist as if he were trying to work the kinks out of his hands. Promise had rejected him, but she had left the door open when she confessed to still loving him. That meant that though he had been pushed out, the door was still open for him. He was certain that the way back into her circle of trust was to keep working at it until she saw how dedicated he was. Who knew? Once they were friends again maybe he would confess his feelings for her. He was getting ahead of himself, putting the cart before the horse. First, he had to prove himself worthy of her again, and then everything else would fall back into place.
CHAPTER 11
Promise hated coming to the building affectionately known as the Trap. The strip in front of the liquor store was where it went down, but the Trap was the launchpad for all the bullshit. She pushed her way through the lobby door, which never seemed to be locked. There were a couple of dudes in the hallway, smoking a Black & Mild and watching her as she crossed the lobby. She knew their faces, but not their names.
She slid into the elevator, and thankfully it was working. There were a few times when she had come to the building with Mouse that the elevators would be out and they’d have to walk the four flights. During the day she didn’t mind, but at night you never knew what or who you would find lurking in the shadows of those stairwells. She got off on her floor and the first thing she smelled was weed. The hallway stank of it. It was like everyone on that floor smoked pot, but she knew that it was primarily coming from two apartments, one of which she was on her way to. She’d once asked Mouse if they weren’t afraid that the weed smoke would attract the police? Her reply was, “Ain’t nobody around here dumb enough to call the cops on B-Stone.” Promise had left it alone after that.
The apartment sat at the end of the hall, one of the corner joints. The apartment being in one of the corners of the building was by design. Because of the way the building was shaped, the corner apartments gave you a view of not only the front of the building but the side as well. The position allowed B-Stone’s people the advantage of being able to see the bullshit before it came. B-Stone made sure someone was sitting in one of those windows twenty-four hours per day so nothing was ever missed.
