Sea Legs, page 17
“Let’s go up to the observation lounge,” Natalie suggested. Maybe if they finally cleared the air once and for all on why they had broken up, the other pieces would fall into place and they could get on with whatever they were meant to do next. Ignoring it for the past two years hadn’t worked at all. She turned out of the store and started forward down a corridor.
“Not that way. The art auction’s down there. Let’s go around.”
“It’s quicker.” Besides, that’s where Kelly was, and Natalie wanted a chance to wave at her.
“I don’t want Pamela to see us. She might want to come along, and then we couldn’t talk about anything.”
If Didi couldn’t even bear to pass by Pamela in the audience at the art auction, things were worse than Natalie had thought. She followed Didi up the stairs to the top floor, where they settled into the same corner booth she had shared with Kelly a few nights earlier. A steward took their drink order, which Didi signed for.
“When did you start drinking beer?” Didi asked.
“I had one the other day when I was out on the boat with Kelly.”
“You’d better not make a habit of it. When was the last time you saw somebody with a wine gut?”
“I’m not drinking a whole keg,” she answered sharply. The constant criticism was tiring. “Besides, I’m on vacation. I can do whatever I want.”
The waiter delivered their drinks and Didi offered hers in a toast. “To dry land.”
Natalie pulled her bottle back. “Some of us are having a good time.”
“A little sympathy, please. I’ve never been so miserable in my life.”
It was hard not to feel sorry for her—food poisoning, sunburn and now, seasickness—but Natalie had a feeling those were only the superficial problems. She guessed the situation with Pamela was eating at her. “Besides getting off this ship, what would it take to make you happy?”
Didi sighed. “I’ve never spent this much time with Pamela before. She’s a lot easier to deal with on just the weekends.”
“Aren’t you glad I didn’t let you move the business to New York?”
“That has nothing to do with Pamela. New York is where the action is. That’s always been my dream and you know it.”
Natalie held up her hand to stop the direction of the conversation. “We agreed not to talk about it until we got home.”
“You brought it up.”
“My mistake.” She sipped her beer and nervously began to peel the label. The subject they had broached in the shop was still lurking in the back of her head. “What we were talking about earlier…I just want to say one more time—I know I’ve told you this before—that I didn’t lie to hurt you. In fact, it was just the opposite.”
“I don’t want to talk about that. It happened. I’m over it.”
From where Natalie was sitting, that was the biggest lie of all. “We’ve started this conversation a dozen times and we never get past the part where you call me a liar. Is that all you’re really interested in?”
“Would you believe I really don’t even care about it anymore?” She didn’t wait for Natalie to answer.”Okay, maybe it still bothers me a little bit. The mistake I made was thinking it had to do with sex. Now I realize it was just a symptom.”
Natalie couldn’t wait to hear where this was going. “What do you think it had to do with?”
“A couple of nights ago I sort of borrowed your little trick. I got bored with it and wanted to get it over with.”
She felt her face redden, which it did nearly every time she thought about what had caused their huge blowup. If only she had lied when the subject came up and Didi had asked her point-blank.
“Anyway, that’s when it hit me there was more to it than just the sex part. I figured you must have been pretty unhappy with me all along if you had to fake your orgasms.”
Natalie shuddered. “I wasn’t unhappy. And I only did that a few times. I just…I just wanted to make you feel good. I shouldn’t have done it. I’m so sorry.”
“And I probably shouldn’t have made such a big deal out of it,” Didi said dismally.
Natalie felt a wave of relief at finally having the chance to apologize, and she sensed that Didi did too. She lightened her tone and managed a smile. “Though why you have to carp about every little thing I do is beyond me.”
“It’s just my way of showing affection,” Didi answered with a smirk. “I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t care.”
“That isn’t true. You do it to Kelly and I know you don’t feel any affection for her.”
“She’s all right. She sure looked good last night.”
“Didn’t she, though?” Natalie’s stomach knotted nervously as she heard the enthusiasm in her voice. It wouldn’t do for Didi to pick up on that sliver of interest she felt for Kelly. “I was really glad to see you come back down for the show.”
“Yeah, well…the alternative was being stuck in that stateroom again.”
Natalie nodded. “It must feel like the walls are closing in.”
“It’s not that. I’ve already run out of things to talk about with Pamela,” she grumbled. “We have sex just to kill time.”
“I doubt Pamela would appreciate knowing you feel that way about it.”
“Is that what it was like for you, Nat? Were you bored with it?”
She squirmed uncomfortably, knowing she couldn’t avoid such a point-blank question. “I was never bored with you, Didi. I just got to a point where I didn’t care much about myself. I was more focused on you.” There was a whole lot more to it than that, but Natalie kept the details to herself. The last three years of her life were a shining example of how honesty was not always the best policy.
Didi twirled her glass and looked around the lounge, as if checking to make sure no one could hear her. “There’s a pretty good chance I’ll break things off with Pamela when we get back home. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
Natalie leaned back and folded her arms, reminding herself that Didi was notoriously fickle when it came to what she wanted. “Maybe things will settle down when we get off the ship and things go back to normal.”
“I don’t know, Nat. I care for Pamela, really. But she’s one of those touchy-feely types, always wanting to cuddle and talk about feelings. You know how I am about stuff like that.”
She knew too well. Didi didn’t mind displays of affection, especially in public for all to see, but once behind closed doors she wanted her space. Sometimes she thought what Didi really wanted was not a girlfriend, but an escort.
“Anyway, thanks for letting me dump about it. I’ve always felt like I could count on you to be there for me.”
Natalie nodded and flashed a weak smile, suddenly aware that something monumental had shifted. This was what she had wanted all along, for Didi to forgive her and to realize that Pamela was wrong for her. But now with the door opening for them to get back together, she wasn’t as excited as she had expected to be. In fact, she was surprisingly unsettled by the idea.
Kelly listened with curiosity as Pamela queried the ship’s expert on the impressive collection of limited edition lithographs. She seemed genuinely interested in acquiring a piece, and made several notes in a small tablet she carried in her purse.
“For a fashion designer, you sure seem to know a lot about art,” Kelly said.
“My stepfather is an artist. He works at MoMA.” Pamela must have noticed her blank look. “The Museum of Modern Art in New York. He works in restorations, but he loves to talk about the displays and exhibits. I try to walk through there every chance I get. He gets a big kick out of showing off the new stuff.”
“So you have a chance to learn from an expert.”
“Yeah, and it’s a nice way to spend a little time with him, especially when I can talk my mom into coming in from Long Island to join us. I don’t get to see my folks much now that I’m running back and forth to Rochester.”
It was impossible not to like Pamela, and just as impossible to understand what she saw in a woman like Didi when she could probably have her pick of any lesbian in New York. She had everything going for her—looks, intelligence, charm and a sweet personality that contrasted sharply with Didi’s dour disposition.
“Oh, look. They have champagne,” Pamela said, darting across the gallery.
Kelly caught up to her just in time to refuse a glass. “It gives me an awful headache. I paid dearly for my extravagance on New
Year’s Day.”
“At least you got to go out. We were still stuck in our cabin.”
“That’s too bad. You and Didi have had a rough trip.”
Pamela shrugged. “I shouldn’t complain. We need this time together. It’s hard when you live in two different cities.”
“Sounds like Didi’s really jonesing to move the business to New York.”
“I wish she would. Then we could get a place together and stop this crazy back-and-forth every weekend.”
Kelly nodded mindlessly, thinking Pamela seemed more certain about their future than Didi. If Didi’s miserable expression last night were any indication, her loving relationship with Pamela was on the downward slope. From the outside, it was tough to see why anyone would let someone like Pamela get away. She was gorgeous to look at, but unassuming, and from what little bit Kelly had seen, she had a very pleasant personality. Anyone who could tolerate—more than that, cheerfully accommodate— someone as cantankerous as Didi was a special person. “You guys have been together for what? Six months?”
“Officially. We met about a year ago at a fashion show in New York and started e-mailing and getting together—just as friends, you know—whenever she’d come to town. I’ve always had a thing for older women, and I fell for her”—she snapped her fingers—”just like that.”
“I can sure see why. Didi’s a very attractive woman.”
Pamela fanned herself. “You’re telling me. But she was still trying to sort out things with Natalie. Once she realized Natalie would never move to New York, she gave up on her.”
“Going to New York is really that important to her?”
“I don’t think Natalie quite understood how much. They probably would have gotten back together again if she had been willing to move. But I’m not complaining. Her loss is my gain.”
Kelly couldn’t help her curiosity about why someone like Pamela would be attracted to Didi, but she was too polite to come right out and ask the question. “I was surprised to see you two at the show last night. Didi was pretty upset when she left the dining room.”
Pamela started toward the auction area, where chairs were set up before a podium and easel. “She just needed a little stroking. No one would ever believe this about her, but Didi’s very insecure.”
“You’re right. That’s the last word I would have used to describe her.” Kelly took the aisle seat as Pamela slipped into the row. “She always seems so sure of herself.”
“Didi’s very sure of what she knows. She has lots of confidence when it comes to the fashion business, but that doesn’t translate to being sure of herself. She worries all the time about her hair, about her skin—you name it. No matter how often I tell her how beautiful she is, it’s never enough.”
Kelly thought back to the question she had asked Natalie the night before, whether Didi had built her up with sweet words. “And what about Didi? I bet she tells you those things all the time.”
Pamela chuckled and shook her head. “It’s not her style. I don’t know why, but she doesn’t give out much in the way of compliments unless she had a hand in it, like picking out something for me to wear. Lucky for me I don’t have issues about that sort of thing. I’m pretty happy with myself, and I can usually tell that Didi’s proud to have me on her arm. I don’t need to hear it from her lips all day.”
That explained why Natalie was so uncomfortable with attention. She hadn’t been on the receiving end with Didi either.
“Ladies and gentlemen, our first item up for bid…”
Pamela turned her attention to the auction.
Though Kelly had said she would wait until Natalie had settled the matter of Didi once and for all, that didn’t mean she couldn’t nudge it along. As the auctioneer droned on, she began to formulate a plan.
A new game was on.
Natalie put the finishing touches on her makeup and checked the bedside clock. The auction should have finished an hour ago. Since Kelly hadn’t returned, she used the extra time alone to freshen up, something she didn’t normally do in the afternoon unless they were dressing for dinner. She was only doing it today because—yes, she could admit this to herself—because Kelly noticed and appreciated how she looked.
Why was she taking so long to come back to their room?
No sooner had the question run through her mind than she heard the sound of a key card in the door. She hurried to the couch and picked up the daily update, feigning to read.
“Hey, Natalie! Did you and Didi buy out the store?”
“We didn’t see much. We spent most of the afternoon in the observation lounge. How was the art auction?”
“Interesting. I had no idea Pamela was so smart. She knows all about art, even more than some of the people working the auction. Turns out her stepfather…”
The words were like white noise as Natalie watched Kelly kick off her sandals, empty her pockets and stretch out on her bed. Off and on all day, she thought of how she felt when Kelly’s lithe arms had enveloped her last night as they closed in for a kiss. There was something vastly different about kissing Kelly, a sensation she had never gotten from either Theresa or Didi. She couldn’t put her finger on—
“Do you like it?”
The question jarred her, and she tried to play back the last bits of what Kelly had said. Her best guess was something having to do with art. “Who doesn’t?”
“I didn’t used to. My father had no use for it. Art to him was one of those landscapes you bought at the furniture store to hang over your couch. I took an art appreciation class at the community college in Buffalo and guess what happened? I wound up appreciating art.”
“Maybe we can take in something at ARTWalk this spring.”
“That would be nice.” Kelly propped up on her elbow. “I really like Pamela. She’s pretty down-to-earth for someone working and living in the middle of such a dynamic industry. And you would expect a woman as pretty as her to be stuck up about it, but she isn’t.”
Natalie didn’t like the flavor of these new revelations. For one thing, it bothered her to think Kelly just threw around compliments about pretty women, and that her words the night before had been just ordinary platitudes. More important was the possibility that Pamela might have turned Kelly’s head.
“I heard the weather’s supposed to be better tomorrow,” Kelly said. “Any idea what you want to do on the private island?”
“What are our choices?” Only moments ago, she had seen the description of activities in the daily update, but her mind hadn’t processed any of it.
“They have an adults-only beach. It’s supposed to be quiet and relaxing. I doubt Didi would be up for anything in the sun, but Pamela probably would. We could get an umbrella like we did back on Antigua. As long as we don’t let Didi—”
“Maybe we should do something by ourselves. The cruise is almost over and we haven’t really had a chance to get to know each other.”
Kelly sat up and rested her forearms on her knees, a barely perceptible smile emanating from her lips. “I’d like that. Just us.”
“Just us.”
Natalie drew in a deep breath as a warm flush crept up her neck. Kelly’s smile had gotten bigger, and now she was sporting one of her own.
Chapter 17
Kelly peered over the balcony to watch the tenders shuttle passengers to the private island. “We’ll get to ride in the lifeboats today, Natalie,” she shouted through the open door.
Natalie appeared beside her, dressed for another beach day in her swimsuit, shorts and a beach wrap. “Nice to know they all float.”
No doubt about it. Kelly had stumbled onto the perfect plan, and it was coming together perfectly. Pamela had unknowingly provided the missing piece, and was also lending a sense of urgency for Natalie to make up her mind once and for all to move on to something new.
“Don’t forget your shades,” she said to Natalie as they started for the door.
Natalie spun around and plucked her sunglasses from the bed.
“Looks like this will be our last chance to get some sun before we go back to the dreaded ice and snow.”
Didi had pouted through dinner the night before when the others talked about their day of sun and relaxation on the private island, so much that Natalie had offered to shop with her in Nassau on their last day in port. Kelly promptly responded by asking Pamela if she had any interest in a carriage tour of the island. When she agreed, Natalie twisted Didi’s arm to give up the shops and tag along. That was all the confirmation Kelly needed to know she was on the right track.
Her strategy for winning Natalie was two-pronged. First was to show a hint of interest in Pamela, which had probably been the catalyst for Natalie’s suggestion that they go it alone today on the private island. Second was to take advantage of her new insight into Natalie’s dynamic with Didi, one that suggested she might enjoy being on the receiving end of the attention for a change.
Kelly had observed Didi’s habit of complimenting clothes rather than people, and wanted to send a different message. “Speaking of sunglasses, that teal swimsuit really brings out your eyes. They’re gorgeous anyway, but they seem extra bright next to that suit.”
Natalie’s beaming smile told her she had struck the perfect chord. “I think it’s the sun, which I’m starting to think I can’t get enough of.”
They ran into Steph and Yvonne on the steps.
“You guys just missed Didi and Pamela,” Steph said. “Didi’s slathered in sunscreen and has on an enormous hat.”
To Kelly’s disappointment—and Natalie’s too, from her look of annoyance—their day alone was now a group outing.
