The Agents of William Marshal Volume I: A Medieval Romance Bundle, page 143
There were very old men, old men, middle-aged men, young men, and still younger men. Tall, short, thin, and everything in between. As Belladonna walked past a group of shivering men, she noticed that a few of them couldn’t have been much older than ten and two, though they were pretending to be older.
She also noticed that the puppy was in their ranks, wagging his tail and happily licking men’s hands. She pushed into the group of men, picking up the dog, when she suddenly heard a sharp voice barking overhead.
“Christ upon his mighty throne!” came the very loud bellow from Dashiell. “Is this a school for girls, mayhap? I have never seen such a terrible group of recruits. Stand up straight. Show some pride or I’ll throw you to the wolves!”
Men began to stand up tall, prompted by the very mean knight’s shouted words. In the midst of men who were shuffling about, Belladonna grabbed the dog and began to push her way out. She wanted to get away from Dashiell before he saw her, but the men didn’t move easily. They didn’t like a woman pushing them around.
It took some effort for Belladonna to finally propel herself out of the group, clutching the puppy, and the action almost thrust her straight into Dashiell. He happened to be standing just where she was emerging. Startled, she stepped sideways quickly to avoid him.
Dashiell, too, was startled to see her. In fact, he was quite confused. “My lady?” he asked. “What were you doing in the middle of the recruits?”
Belladonna didn’t feel like speaking with him; she truly didn’t. The sight of his handsome, rugged face brought back the feelings of disappointment and shame she’d been trying so hard to fight off. But she needed to tell him something, simply so he wouldn’t follow her and demand an answer.
“The pup ran off,” she said. “Have no fear; I am taking him back to his mother.”
She walked away before he could respond, moving as swiftly as she could without actually running. She didn’t look back to see if he was pursuing her – she simply tucked her head down and kept moving. Nearing the kitchen yard, she came across Bentley, who was coming from the stables. She almost ran into him.
Belladonna genuinely liked Bentley. He was a kind man with a polite, gentle manner about him, and she’d heartily approved the match to Lily before Clayton came along. She was well aware of her sister’s longing for the man, a strong love that still, three years later, would not die. In truth, it was a sad situation all around and Belladonna forced a smile at Bentley.
“Good morn to you, Bent,” she said. “Are you going to see your dogs this day? We’ve had three new litters since you were on your battle march.”
Bentley grinned, looking at the pup in her arms and rubbing its head. “So I have been told,” he said, turning to point to two little boys who worked in the stables. “Evidently, everyone wants a puppy now. I am told I have some to spare, as I cannot sell all of them.”
Belladonna’s smile turned genuine as she looked at the stable boys, who were grinning mischievously at her.
“It has taken an army to raise these pups since you have been gone,” she said. “I have had to enlist every child at Ramsbury to assist me, and they all want a puppy. I have had to count them nightly to ensure they are all still here.”
Bentley took the puppy out of her arms. He very much loved animals and he cuddled the little creature. “I cannot blame them,” he said. “The pup looks wonderful. You have done an excellent job with him.”
“I am glad you are pleased.”
With a final squeeze, he handed the pup back to her. “I am,” he said. “Have you shown Dash?”
Her smile vanished and she averted her gaze. “Nay,” she said. Not wanting to elaborate on her answer, she turned for the kitchen yard. “I will expect you to come and see the rest soon. They are your pups, after all. And there are nineteen of them, all of them soon ready to go to new homes.”
Bentley watched her go. “I will,” he said. To him, she seemed suddenly angry. “My lady… is something wrong?”
He’d picked up on her mood shift and Belladonna came to a halt. “Nay,” she said, trying to pretend there was nothing in the world amiss. “All is well. Bent… are you terribly busy today?”
He lifted his big shoulders. “I have some things to attend to, but I am not too busy,” he said. “May I be of service to you?”
Belladonna thought of the party she’d been invited to, the one Dashiell was too ashamed to escort her to. He’d suggested Bentley or Aston, hadn’t he? Perhaps she should take his advice. Perhaps it would teach Dashiell a lesson, proving to him that his rejection didn’t matter in the least.
“I should like an escort into Marlborough,” she said. “There is a merchant there I would like to visit. Will you take me?”
He nodded. “Gladly,” he said. “Can you wait an hour?”
“I can.”
“Then I will meet you in the bailey.”
“I shall be ready.”
With that, he headed out to the main part of the bailey where the new recruits were, and Belladonna headed back into the kitchen yard.
Squaring her shoulders with determination, she simply wasn’t going to cry over Dashiell any longer. If the man was embarrassed to be seen with her, then she would spare him any further shame. It might take her a lifetime to get over him, but she had to start somewhere.
She would start now.
She’d already been without him over the past few months and she’d come to a certain peace about it. So, perhaps, she simply needed to continue on that path. She would push him from her thoughts and pretend he was still away. Far away. And when she saw him around Ramsbury, well… she would ignore him.
God help her, she had to.
Returning the puppy to its mother, Belladonna headed back into the keep, trying to be firm in her resolution. Unfortunately, deep down, she knew she was weak. Sooner or later, Dashiell would be able to break her down.
It was depressing to know that she was in for a lifetime of misery.
CHAPTER FIVE
“If you are coming with me, then hurry!”
Belladonna was prepared to go into town, waiting impatiently for Acacia, who had wanted to accompany her. But Acacia was dragging her feet, finding other things to occupy her time, and Belladonna’s patience was at an end. Just as she turned for the stairwell to go down to the bailey, Lily rushed up behind her.
“I am going with you,” she said. “I must see the merchant who has threads and sewing kits.”
Belladonna looked at her sister, who was fully dressed for travel.
“You knew I was going?” she asked.
Lily pulled on her gloves. “I heard you ask Acacia. She has no need to go with you, but I do.”
Belladonna didn’t say what she was thinking – Bentley is escorting me. She knew that Bentley and Lily mostly avoided each other these days, for their own sanity, but in that understanding was something Belladonna found interesting. By watching the pair, perhaps she, too, could learn to live alongside a man she loved, a man she could never have.
Perhaps, this journey into the village would be a good thing for her to experience.
Therefore, she said nothing as she made her way down the narrow stairwell and into the foyer of the keep. It was a cavernous area, two-storied, that always smelled of damp earth for some reason. With Lily beside her, Belladonna made her way out to the bailey beyond.
As promised, Bentley was waiting. He’d pulled together a four-man escort and a small gray palfrey for Belladonna to ride on. When he saw Lily with her, a flicker of surprise crossed his features and he snapped at one of the men to rush to the stables and prepare another palfrey.
Lily, too, rippled with surprise when she saw Bentley at the head of the escort. Arm looped through Belladonna’s, she slowed her pace.
“You could have told me he was your escort,” she muttered.
Belladonna’s eyes were on Bentley, who pretended to be busy with other things. “You did not ask,” she said. “Besides… he is here all of the time, Lily, and you two are able to co-exist. Surely a small trip into town will not be an issue.”
Lily simply shook her head and looked away, unwilling to reply. In truth, she was secretly glad that Bentley was going with them. Belladonna was pleased her sister wasn’t going to make a fuss about it until a big man in big armor, astride an enormous red warhorse, suddenly rode into view.
Dashiell appeared.
“They are bringing the second palfrey about,” he said to Bentley. “You only have four men for the escort party?”
Bentley nodded. “I did not think we needed any more with two knights riding escort.”
Dashiell simply nodded; it was clear he was coming along. Belladonna’s heart sank into the pit of her stomach as she realized it. Here she was, so smug about putting Lily with a man she did not wish to be around, and now Dashiell had appeared to make her feel as uncomfortable as Lily did with Bentley.
Somewhere, God was punishing her for being cruel to her sister and expecting her to tolerate a situation that Belladonna was unwilling to tolerate herself. With a faint sigh, one for strength, she resigned herself to a miserable, tension-filled trip into town. She hadn’t invited Dashiell to escort her, so why was he here?
Letting go of Lily, Belladonna marched up to Dashiell aboard his snappish charger. “Sir Dashiell,” she said, addressing him quite formally. “What are you doing here? I have only asked Bentley to accompany me. Your presence was not requested.”
Dashiell was well aware of that. And he could hear from the tone of her voice that she was still quite angry with him.
That was precisely why he was here.
A drunken, unhappy night followed by an unpleasant encounter with her this morning had forced him into joining the escort when Bentley told him about it. He still had a raging headache, and he’d put the new recruits he was supposed to manage in Aston’s care, but he wasn’t going to miss this opportunity to be with Belladonna and, hopefully, ease her anger against him. Even if he couldn’t be honest with her, at the very least, he couldn’t stand that she was angry at him.
But he could see it was going to be a tough fight.
“Because you warrant such protection, my lady,” he said after a moment.
She cocked an eyebrow at him. “You should not bother. I would not wish to cause you shame to be seen with me.”
Dashiell stared at her a moment before lifting his visor, peering down at her. “I have never said any such thing, my lady, nor would I ever.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Do not make it seem as if I misunderstood you,” she hissed. “You made your position plain enough last night. Now I am making mine.”
“And what is your position?”
“I do not want you to go.”
“And I do not care what you want. Two daughters of the duke warrant two knights as protection.”
She took a few steps closer, avoiding the horse when it swung its big head. “Then you protect my sister,” she said, her voice low and unhappy. “Do not talk to me. Do not even look at me. Pretend I am not here. Bentley will serve my needs. At least he is not ashamed to be seen with me.”
With that, she turned on her heel and marched back to Lily, who was waiting near the escort.
Dashiell watched her go, feeling frustrated and hurt. Clearly, she took what he said last night and stewed on it, creating an even bigger situation this morning. He wondered if she would even listen to him if he tried to defend himself and clarify what he meant.
Lily…
He would be guarding Lily, it seemed, and Lily was a sweet woman. He’d always liked her. And she was very close to Belladonna.
Perhaps, if he told Lily what had happened, she might be a liaison between him and Belladonna. He felt like a fool for thinking such a thing but, at the moment, he was desperate. Even if he and Belladonna could never be together, that didn’t mean he wanted her to hate him for the rest of her life.
He had to make it right.
It was frightfully cold as the party from Ramsbury made its way to the bustling town of Marlborough, a mere seven miles from Ramsbury Castle and part of the duke’s properties. It had a castle, called The Mound by the locals, that had been a royal hunting lodge and residence until the falling out with John, who was quite unhappy to have lost it to the Duke of Savernake when the man overran the property and captured it.
Dashiell had led that particular siege, which saw the aged castle fall in a day and a night. Even now, he had Savernake men stationed there. John had a fondness for Marlborough and he’d even married his first wife at the castle. Because of the royal connections to the town, Dashiell was particularly protective over it and he was looking at the visit to Marlborough as a necessary trip to check on the both the town and the garrison. He wanted to ensure everything was in order.
The day remained clear as the party made its way along the muddy road. They were surrounded by gently rolling hills, a few dead trees, and the River Kennet to the south. The four soldiers rode in a square formation, with a man at each corner, while the women rode in the middle. Dashiell was in the front, at point, while Bentley brought up the rear, and there was absolutely no conversation at all since leaving Ramsbury.
It was a somber little group. Truth be told, Belladonna was feeling awkward riding in such tense silence. She could see Dashiell up ahead on his flaming red horse and, in secret, she watched his every move. He had the broadest shoulders she’d ever seen, made broader and bigger by the protection he wore. He had a mail coat on, with a tunic bearing the shield of Savernake on it – a white background with black, crimson, and yellow colors on a tunic the overall color of crimson.
It was a recognizable shield, and all of the men in the party were wearing their Savernake tunics. Lily was wearing a travel dress made of dark red wool while Belladonna wore a brown woolen garment with golden trim and tight sleeves to keep out the cold. She’d been rather pleased with her reflection in the mirror before leaving Ramsbury, thinking she looked somewhat pretty.
Not that it mattered, however. Dashiell wouldn’t notice or even care.
“Well,” Lily finally muttered, breaking the silence. “This is a cozy little group. I’d find more frivolity in a graveyard.”
Belladonna turned to her sister. “You did not have to come,” she reminded her. “Why did Acacia not come? She told me she wanted to.”
Lily shrugged. “Because spending money is a sin,” she said sarcastically. “You know that everything is a sin with her. Thinking about sin is a sin. We are all going to hell, Bella.”
Belladonna fought off a grin. “She is simply preparing for the mentality of the abbey,” she said. “I do not take her too seriously when she tells me that my vanity is a sin.”
Lily snorted. “What sin? And what vanity? Bella, you have no vanity. I’ve never met such a beautiful woman who had no vanity about it.”
Belladonna’s smile faded and she looked away. “There is no point.”
“What do you mean?”
“The only person I would have see my beauty cares not for it, or for me.”
Lily was listening with interest. “What are you talking about?”
Belladonna shook her head, unwilling to elaborate with four big-eared soldiers around and Dashiell several yards ahead.
“It does not matter.”
“What happened?” Lily asked. Then, she leaned over towards her sister and whispered. “Has something happened with Dash?”
Belladonna shushed her, glancing around to make sure no one had heard. Dash. Just the mention of the man’s name set her heart to racing.
“Well,” she whispered reluctantly. “I suppose I have found my answer after all of these years.”
“What answer?”
Belladonna was trying to keep her voice down. “You know how he will not address me by my name any longer.”
“I know. You have told me.”
“He used to address me by my name constantly when I was younger but once I became of age, he no longer did it.”
“And?”
“And I asked him why. He told me it was because he did not want to compromise my reputation.”
Lily lifted her eyebrows as if expecting more of an answer. “What else?”
Belladonna frowned. “And when I asked him if he would escort me to Jillayne Chadlington’s party, he told me he was ashamed to be seen with me.”
Lily’s mouth popped open. “He didn’t!”
“He did. He said that if he was my escort, people would see us together and he intimated that it would be a terrible thing.”
Lily could hardly believe it. That wasn’t the Dashiell she’d known all these years. The man she’d known was gruff, sometimes quite mean, and very intimidating, but the moment Belladonna wandered into his orbit, he turned into a lamb. Only for Belladonna did he do that. Her youngest sister had such power over the man; anyone could see that. Anyone but Belladonna. Nay, she didn’t believe Dashiell could have said such a thing to her sister.
“I cannot comprehend that he should say such a thing,” she finally said. “That does not sound like him at all.”
Belladonna lowered her gaze, looking off to the side of the road where puddles of water had formed. “Clearly, there is nothing more to say,” she said. “It matters not how I feel anymore, Lil. He has made his wishes plain.”
Lily still couldn’t believe it. More than that, it angered her. Did Dashiell truly intimate that being seen with Belladonna would embarrass him? Her beautiful, spirited sister had loved him for as long as she could recall. Even as a young girl, she adored Dashiell as she adored no one else. Their father, Edward, had been aware of it before his mind was robbed of its ability to think properly, and Lily was certain that Edward had approved of the match. The man loved Dashiell like a son.
And Dashiell had clearly been mad for Belladonna, but all of that seemed to change, however, when she came of age. He was polite to Belladonna, and there were times when they were still companionable, but it was as if Dashiell had a wall up, a wall preventing him from becoming too close to Belladonna. It was propriety, of course, but there was something more to it.
