Forged Redemption, page 14
part #5 of Tribal Spirits Series
The excuses leapt to Ally’s lips, that they weren’t good for each other, that his time in the Landsliders had screwed up their chances for good, that all they did was fight. But in the wake of the losses that had rocked their packs, those lies felt pathetic.
Ally stared hard at the tea bag floating in her mug. She couldn’t look at Lana or she’d break.
“Lan, you saw him today with Eli. Drew would be such a good father.” Her voice cracked and she stopped. She couldn’t go there.
A clink sounded on the counter. Lana placed her mug down and closed the space between them. Ally sank against her best friend, the one who’d waited at the doctor’s office the day she got the news. The miscarriage had fucked her up for good, and not just mentally. Because of some complications, she couldn’t have kids, period.
Lana’s arms crushed around her. “You’re not broken,” her best friend murmured. Every damn time, the woman saw right through her defenses.
A breath escaped her throat, one she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. Her eyes stung and the first tears trailed down her cheeks. The dam she’d been holding back by her lonesome for far too long broke open. Her heart cracked in two, the pain worse than the scorch of silver when her fingers curled around Lana, holding on to her tighter than intended.
Broken. The word had cycled through her mind on repeat since the day at the doctor’s. It was the only one to fit the void in her chest and the hollow thump in her womb where she’d once felt warmth, and light and joy. Nausea swirled through her again, the sweep of sickness that always descended when she confronted a future without the hope of a family, something she’d wanted since she was a kid.
Every time her mother had tried to douse her flickering candle of some beautiful future, Ally had clung to her dreams. Early on, she’d fallen headfirst for Drew, and when they’d discovered they were mates, it was a done deal. She’d known, known, she hurtled for that destiny a hundred miles a minute, for the family she could form of her own. One that wasn’t the acid bitterness she’d grown up with. One that reflected the Silver Springs pack she loved.
Except her mother hadn’t doused the candle—the light had shut out the moment those words descended. She couldn’t tie Drew to her sentence.
Ally wasn’t sure how long they stood there, minutes, an hour—the time didn’t matter. She sank into her best friend’s embrace in a way she never allowed herself to. She heaved a shaky breath as the tears slowed.
“Does he know?” Lana murmured.
She swallowed hard and pulled away. Ally allowed herself a second to scrub her cheeks, as if she could erase the evidence that she’d ever shed a tear. Even though she felt like she’d set down a hiking pack she’d carried for far too long, the rawness of what had erupted from her prickled across her skin. Admitting those things out loud came at a price.
“I can’t,” she said, hating the pleading in her voice. “Because you know Drew. He’d sacrifice everything for me, even if it cost him the thing he’s dreamed of all this time.”
Lana shook her head, her green eyes watery. “Shouldn’t that be his choice?”
The words would barely come out, so she forced them at a whisper. “What if he resents me?”
Drew always looked at her like he stared at a sky full of stars. Ally couldn’t bear the idea of his look souring with time, of one day waking up and him seeing her the same way she saw herself.
Lana offered a shrug, and a tear snuck down her cheek. “I’m not going to lie to you, Ally-cat. Maybe he will. But maybe you two will be able to move forward at last, to heal. A wise woman once told me you’re so much bigger than that. You’re allowed to heal.”
Ally couldn’t help the ghost of a smile at hearing her own words repeated at her. She bumped her best friend in the side, who gave her a watery grin in return. Seeing Lana’s own tears somehow settled the rapids inside her. The miasma of grief, anger and loathing churning inside her slowed.
“Sounds like the lady was full of horseshit,” she said back, her voice surprisingly steady.
Lana gave her the side-eye and tipped back her mug of coffee. “If I hadn’t listened, I might still be sitting in this lonely house wasting away with grief. Taking the leap is terrifying. Trust me, I know.”
Ally sucked in a breath and stared at the ceiling, wishing it would give her answers. The white surface glared at her.
“I’ll do it. I’ll tell him.”
Chapter Sixteen
“We’ve got a problem.”
Drew leaned up from his slouch against the bar to look at Lucas. The massive Tribe member stood beside him with his arms crossed and a grim expression on his face.
“Tell me something new,” Drew responded. “Isn’t that our state of always?”
The overwhelming scent of bleach torched his senses. Yesterday, they’d scrubbed this place top to bottom to get out the bloodstains. Yet even after they’d spit-polished Beaver Tavern, when he searched around the empty room, all he saw were the bodies that had piled up.
“Bigger than this region,” Lucas said, creaking into the seat beside Drew with two pints he’d pulled from the taps. When Lucas called him in early, Drew had leapt on the chance—the longer he roamed around his house, the more the pressure of the past couple of days threatened to crush him.
“Well, fuck.” Drew heaved out a sigh and lifted the pint to his lips. The foamy porter slid down his throat, not making enough of a dent to smooth out the chaos in his mind. Mackey Kendricks had done a lifetime’s worth of damage to this region in this past several years, and he wasn’t finished.
“He’s not aiming to destabilize this area,” Lucas said, his dark eyes burning with a weariness Drew felt. “Or at least, that was just the beginning of the plan. I hoped maybe once he got his revenge on us, he’d back the hell down.”
“You know, unicorns exist and Bigfoot’s waiting for you to find him in the forest too,” Drew drawled, acid on his tongue. The bastard wouldn’t give up. He’d seen the crazed light in the ex-Tribe member’s eyes and felt the sheer power of the commands slam into him. Mackey was addicted to the control, a junkie returning for another fix.
Lucas lifted an eyebrow, delivering him an arch look. “Obviously. Don’t go stomping all over my dreams.” He took a sip from his porter, letting out a sigh of his own before he continued. “We started getting calls in from other Tribes. The South Atlantic, the Midwest ones. The Landsliders aren’t just spreading, they’re infecting the shifter populace. This is why we were trying to keep his presence and defection quiet.”
“Our kind already possessed a healthy fear of the Tribe,” Drew murmured, the realization crystallizing. “But one of you going rogue—well, I’m proof positive of the wrecked state that’ll leave you in.” He paused to look at Lucas. “Though some folks prove the Tribe are still worth trusting.”
Lucas offered him a grateful grin, his eyes crinkling at the edges. Drew knew how much the guy struggled with the burden of his abilities. As much as Mackey Kendricks had locked and loaded the Landslider vendetta against his parents and the region who ruined him as a kid at first, he’d been privy to dozens of rants about the Tribe. Kendricks blamed the whole institution, so go figure he wanted to bring it toppling down.
The door creaked open, and Navi poked her head in first, followed by Finn then Jess. Drew lifted his hand in a wave and Lucas offered a nod.
“So, the trouble’s finally poisoned the well,” Navi announced, her voice echoing through the empty tavern. Her hands remained on her hips as she swaggered on in. “If we don’t put a stop to Mackey and fast, we’re looking at a spreading revolution.”
“We got word of the riots in Virginia,” Finn added. He strode past them, heading behind the bar with the familiarity of someone who’d grown up here.
“Well, golly gee,” Drew continued, lifting his pint. “This day keeps getting better and better.”
The door creaked, and in stepped Sierra, Dax and Jer. The door hadn’t shut before it swung open again and Akio walked in after, followed by Ally.
“Did you all arrive in a clown car?” Finn called from behind the bar, tugging out the bottle of Jack Daniel’s and pulling off the cap.
“Get your ass out from back there, Kelly,” Sierra called from the opposite end of the room, her droll tone one she rarely indulged in. “We’re already hemorrhaging cash from the break-in. Last thing we need is for you to be demolishing our top-shelf stuff.”
Finn lifted the bottle of JD. “If this is top shelf, you’ve got bigger problems than that.”
Drew could feel Ally’s presence as she strode closer, a livewire connection he’d never been able to dismiss. He expected her to walk on by and head for Dax, or one of the Tribe, but instead she strolled right next to him. Their eyes met, and he couldn’t help the shiver down his spine at the memory of the hot way they’d collided last night. For the brief moments when she’d stepped past her wall of snappy barbs, hope had brushed across him like liquid sunshine.
Ally reached past and grabbed his pint, lifting it to her lips. She tipped it back, chugging down the charcoal liquid.
When she set the half-emptied glass onto the counter, a grin quirked her strawberry lips. “Thanks for that.”
Drew shook his head, warmth spreading in his chest. When they’d been together, Ally had never ordered beer, claiming she only wanted a sip—which fast turned into half his pint. Drew had started ordering two on reflex, knowing she’d drink more than planned. She’d stolen his drink on purpose. They hadn’t been able to talk this morning at the ceremony, and he’d been wondering what would come of last night. If the collision would change anything between them at all.
But the gesture from their old relationship, how she’d come to him first—he could read between the lines.
“That’s fine. I only wanted half a porter anyway.” He shot her an arch look, causing her grin to deepen. Lucas glanced between the two of them, a curious look in his eyes. No doubt, his Tribe friend would be scurrying off to tell Lana the moment he got the chance.
“So, what can we do to stop this from spreading?” Dax asked the group, his question causing the casual chatter to fall quiet.
Jess sank onto one of the bar stools, her elbows hitting the chestnut bar as she stared at the glossy surface. “I’d normally say we should head to the other shifter packs in the region and rally them to fight.”
“Except with the way news has been spreading, who knows how many would turn and run at our arrival,” Akio spat, slamming a fist to the table.
“If only that useful trick worked on the Landsliders,” Drew responded, tapping the side of his glass.
“What if I go?” Sierra asked, pacing back and forth. “We’ve got connections with the other packs in the regions, and we might stand a chance of convincing them.”
Dax rested his hand on her shoulder. “Over my dead body, babe. You’re staying and keeping the packs together. They need at least one of their leaders here, because I’ll be heading out.”
Sierra’s scowl threatened to turn into a full-fledged argument when Finn strolled over with his bottle of JD sloshing around in his hand.
“Come on, Kanoska. Don’t tell me I show and you’re already ditching. You’ve got to catch me up on everything that’s happened since I’ve been gone.” The former Red Rock beta glanced to Dax who passed him a grateful look.
“You might as well ax off the next few weeks if you want to be filled in, brother,” Jer said, cuffing Finn in the shoulder. A grin rose to both of their faces, the familiarity there driving daggers into Drew’s chest. He had that once, with Dax, with Greg, with Ally and Lana. Spirits above, he missed the camaraderie of those childhood friends every damn day.
“You shouldn’t go alone, though,” Ally started to argue, whipping toward Dax.
“Which is why I’ll be going,” Drew interjected. If he had to sit behind waiting with the packs he’d once helped splinter, he’d go insane.
“Bullshit.” Ally’s glance sparked with irritation. “You’ve earned too much notoriety through the region. It’s like bringing an assault rifle to a peace talk.”
“Actually, Drew’s right,” Lucas stepped in. Gratitude flushed through him in a fierce sweep. The man hadn’t just become one of his closest friends but someone who fought for him at every turn. “He might have gained a bad rep in the Red Rock and Silver Springs packs, but he’s been working with us for close to a year now, visiting the other packs and helping break up issues. Besides, if anyone can convince folks how much of a danger Mackey Kendricks is, he can.”
His stomach twisted at this praise he didn’t deserve. He tightened his grip around his pint glass, and he stared at the glossy wood grain of the bar, more than aware of the stares descending on him.
When he looked up, Ally’s gaze softened. “Maybe you two should go.”
Drew’s forehead creased. He’d expected far more fight from his firebrand.
“Wait, you’re agreeing with Drew?” Dax called from the other side of the room. “Are you having a stroke? Do you need medical attention?”
Ally rolled her eyes, ignoring him as she crossed her arms. “While I still think I’d be a better asset in a fight,” she emphasized, eliciting a grin from Drew. “Many of these packs fought against the two of you in the trials for Silver Springs alpha. Seeing the Williams brothers united on this front might be what it takes to convince them.”
“Glad that’s figured, because we’ve got to divide and conquer here. Every second is important,” Navi said, leaning back in her chair. “Ava will be arriving in an hour or so, and we’re going to need to brainstorm with her to figure out some sort of resistance against the device. Either the humans and Coalition who banded with the Landsliders set off the device, or Mackey and the other shifters have figured out a way to combat the effects.”
“We should outreach to the humans anyway,” Lucas interjected, spreading his palms flat against the surface of the bar. “We don’t have any compulsion over them, so they won’t have the same fear of us.”
“We’ve got connections with the cops we should tap into,” Jess agreed.
Ally nudged her hip against his, the touch drawing his attention. Their situation had been changing ever since they’d headed out on assignment together, and last night had brought the tissue-paper walls they’d erected tumbling down. The touches between them were open and the affection not hidden even as they swapped caustic jabs, their form of foreplay. She offered a half-smile before she headed over to talk to Dax.
Drew lifted his pint and chugged the rest of the contents, drowning out the chatter of the others who had devolved into separate conversations. The Tribe members exchanged connections and plotted their next move while Jer and Finn had begun to talk pack issues with Sierra. Ally and Dax spoke in low murmurs in the corner. His brother’s eyebrows drew tight together when he cast another glance over to Sierra.
Drew’s heart squeezed tight. If they managed to take down Mackey Kendricks and the Landsliders, drinking by his lonesome was the future he hurtled toward. While he had worked alongside the Tribe, he wasn’t one of them. He didn’t belong amongst the Red Rock pack either, and he’d lost his place in the Silver Springs.
If he managed to survive killing Mackey Kendricks, and that was a big if, Drew was a kite without a string and the strong breezes would carry him away from this place. The thought devastated him. As much as pain splattered across every surface of these lands, connections existed here forged through sorrow, bravery forged through pain and hope forged through a community who refused to back down, no matter what life threw at them.
He wanted to be a part of it.
However, he’d fucked his chance up the day he followed his father into the Landsliders.
Dax sauntered over to Sierra, interrupting her conversation to press a kiss to her lips. She wrapped a hand around the nape of his neck, crushing her mouth to his. He knew a kiss goodbye when he saw one. Ally headed in his direction, and when she tilted her head toward the entrance, Drew pushed his pint aside to follow.
Once he exited through the front door, the reek of bleach dissipated, softening to the sweet spring breezes that swept through. The gentle citrine hues of the afternoon sun gleamed on his skin and the crispness in the air tasted like hope, even in the wake of their mounting problems.
He hadn’t taken two steps out when Ally grabbed him by the front of his shirt and closed the space between them. Her mouth crushed to his with a desperation he could feel pulsing through his veins. Drew drank in the taste of her, a hint of porter and a sweetness he’d craved from the day they first kissed. Drew slipped his fingers through her sunlit waves, gripping the strands tight when he claimed her mouth.
He slid his other hand to her waist and took one step forward, then another until she bumped against the wall. She rested her arms on his shoulders, tightening her grip like he might disappear. Even as he sank into the raging heat and fury of their kiss, relief coursed through him so strong he almost sagged against her.
Spirits above, he’d missed her so much. He missed the casual touches, the glances across the room and the silent communication that always existed between them. He missed someone giving a damn if he came back or not.
Her lips were soft and yielding to his, her mouth scorching and the scent of gardenia lingered in her hair. Her golden skin looked bitable in the tank top and jeans she wore, ones he wanted to peel off her with his teeth. His mountain lion rammed against him with base demands he was half-tempted to give in to. She let out a sharp inhalation before she lunged back in for more.
Ally had always been everything he dreamed of, from the fierce way she fought to hide her vulnerability to the way she bled loyalty, the sort of fighter who wouldn’t fall back even in the face of unsurmountable odds.
