Deceit (Gallows Hill Book 1), page 29
Are you trying to make me jealous? Because it’s working.
My stomach bottoms out when I see that the three pictures are of me and each of my guys. There is a picture of Ronan and I in his car, his hand resting high up on my bare thigh. Then there is Liam and I walking to class, his pinky hooking with mine as we walk. The last is Vincent and I. He has me pinned against a wall down the side of a building he swore no cameras could see. His hand is on my throat, other hand buried in my hair and his lips on mine.
Fuck.
Suddenly, my breathing becomes ragged. I’m unable to catch my breath, to think, to stand. The world becomes dizzy and hazy, and I stumble to the ground, laying on my side as I tuck my legs to my chest.
“Oh my god! Skyla! Are you okay?” Maggie says as she drops beside me, looking me over as if she can find something physically wrong with me.
“Can’t,” I heave. “Breathe,” I rasp. In and out. In and out. I’m desperate for an ounce of oxygen but coming up short with each attempt. “Call,” I gasp. “Guys.”
The more I focus on how much I can’t breathe, the worse I get until I’m full on hyperventilating. I can’t do this. I can’t take this. I’ve tried to brush it all off, tried to forget it. There is no forgetting it, though. Someone has been actively stalking me for weeks now and I’m officially terrified.
He can slip in and out of my room with no issues, he can follow me and my guys around and none of us are any wiser. He has to be on campus. He’s near me, close enough to touch me. And that thought alone, sends me spiraling into another panic attack.
I don’t know how much time goes by before I hear the sound of heavy footsteps thunder across the floor. Ronan steps into the room first, his panicked eyes flicking around the room. I didn’t hear Maggie call him, but she must have. His eyes take in the bed, before he drops to the floor beside me.
“Baby, are you hurt? What happened?”
My breathing is loud and erratic as I try to speak.
“H-he,” I huff. “Is b-back,” I say, as a choked sob tears through me.
Ronan instantly gathers me into his arms, rocking me like a child as I sob and choke on the air around me. My head is so light, it feels like I’m practically floating. I feel so close to passing out, and all I can do is suffer in this strange space between consciousness and unconsciousness.
The door gets thrown open again a few moments later, a drop of sweat falling down the side of Vincent’s face as his eyes scan the room, gun in his hand.
He’s always the one to pull a gun first, and ask questions later. Which, I guess when your girlfriend has a deranged stalker isn’t the worst motto to have. His eyes run over the note quickly, before he is in front of me.
“Siren,” he says steadily, reaching a hand to my cheek. “Can you feel this?”
I shake my head, feeling numb. His eyes are patient but his face is thunderous as he nods.
“Okay, what do you see? Name five things you can see.”
“I-I c-can’tttt,” I whine, in between labored breaths.
“She can’t breathe, let alone talk,” Ronan snaps.
Vincent ignores him, keeping his eyes on me.
“It’s okay, Siren. I’m here. Deep breath in through your nose,” he says, demonstrating it like I’m an idiot or something. “Deep breath out through your mouth,” he breathes out.
He continues doing this over and over again, until I find myself trying to follow along. I take a choppy breath in, blowing out shakily.
“Good, that was good. Again. In and out,” he says, breathing on pace as he does.
Soon I’m able to get a breath or two in before he nods.
“Now tell me three things you can see.”
“Y-you, the c-couch and my b-bed,” I say as I begin to panic again.
“Shhh, shhh,” Vincent says, as Liam and Asher rush into the room.
“What happened?”
“What’s going on?”
“Shut the fuck up!” Ronan practically snarls as he holds me tighter.
“Eyes on me, Siren. Two things you can feel,” Vincent says, reaching out to rest his hand on my cheek again.
I feel my eyes close, sinking into his touch.
“Y-your hand and…and…Ronan’s-s arms wrapped around me-e,” I say, only having a few stutters this time.
“That’s so good. Almost there. One thing you can smell.”
I try to inhale through my nose as best as I can.
“Ronan’s cologne,” I answer.
Earning a tighter squeeze from Ronan and an encouraging nod from Vincent. He doesn’t smile but he rarely does so that’s no surprise. His hand does cup my face tenderly though, his thumb rubbing against my cheek as he presses his lips to my forehead.
“You did so good, Siren. I love you so much, don’t ever scare me like that again, okay?”
I hear Maggie softly ‘aw’ in the background, but I ignore her and everyone else around us.
“I… I love you too.” I say, thankfully not stuttering for lack of oxygen, but out of shock. I don’t know. I had hoped he loved me, but it feels…different to hear him say it out loud. Reassuring.
Vincent leans forward, capturing my lips with his as rustling happens over my shoulder. He can tell the moment I hear it because I tense up at the reminder. He deepens the kiss, allowing his tongue to tangle with mine as his arm makes some kind of motion. I feel the air shift like people have stepped out, but I’m too wrapped up in this kiss to care.
When he pulls away I feel a tug come from my jaw, my head tilted back for Ronan who bends down to meet me. The kiss is so vastly different from Vincent’s or even Liam’s, but it’s addicting all the same.
As we break apart, Ronan smiles down at me lovingly and it forces a smile out of me as well.
“There’s my beautiful baby’s smile.”
I smile wider as I feel Vincent’s hand in my hair, slowly massaging my head as Ronan’s fingers dance along my jawline .
“Okay, you guys are so cute I want to barf. I’m also seriously considering switching teams, because I want someone to look at me like that,” Maggie says from the corner. Ronan and Vincent both shoot her irritated looks, but that doesn’t stop her. “Seriously babe, you’ve gotta be able to spare a boyfriend or two for a night, right? Think any of them will let me peg them?”
A laugh bubbles out of me. “Probably Liam,” I say.
“I heard my name,” my adorable goof says, with a smile as he pops his head in the door.
“Maggie asked if any of my boyfriend’s would like to get pegged and I said probably you.”
“Fuck yes,” he smirks, “but only by my girl, sorry, Bartlett.”
Maggie gives him an exaggerated ‘oh shoot’ snap as she shakes her head.
“Dang, almost had you too.”
The air in the room lifts lightly, for a moment I forget about the stalker, the pictures, and everything to focus on the most important piece of information. Liam would want me to peg him? I don’t know how I feel about that…it could be pretty hot, I guess. Nope, scratch that. I think it would be really hot. Shit. Maybe one day.
Liam comes to crouch beside me, taking one of my hands into his as he gives me a concerned smile.
“You okay, babygirl?”
Having all three of their hands on me is like the best kind of drug. It numbs and soothes me simultaneously. My body instantly relaxes, melting into all of their touch as I nod my head softly.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” Ronan says. “We all let down our guard.”
My eyes come to Vincent who has his jaw clenched and his eyes turned away.
“Vincent? Are you okay?”
Slowly he turns to me, his eyes so sad they break my damn heart and his mouth smashed into a firm line as he shakes his head.
“I’m so sorry, Siren. I usually check your room every day before you get back. I thought you and Bartlett were going to her place. I should have checked.”
I frown at that.
“It’s not your fault. It’s not like you could have known that he was going to choose today to leave something.”
All three guys share an uneasy look as Asher steps in through the door, a gloved hand holding the piece of paper as he nods.
“He’s left you something every day this week. We’ve just been able to intercept it before you could see.”
“What?” I ask, as I whip around in Ronan’s lap so that I can face Asher head on.
His posture is rigid, jaw set like he’s prepared for me to come unglued.
“So, you guys have been lying to me? What else has he left?”
“Just pictures of you, more of your ruined panties,” Liam grits out with a disgusted shake of his head.
“And more poems, all adoring and loving,” Ronan finishes.
My eyes come to Vincent’s first, before moving to Liam, Ronan and finally landing on Asher.
“I can’t believe you guys kept this from me! How am I supposed to trust any of you if you’re keeping things from me? It’s my life that could be in danger. Does that not mean anything, to any of you?” I scoff.
“It means everything, to all of us,” Vincent says fiercely.
“Then, why the fuck would you think it was a safer plan to have me let my guard down? How is it better for me to think the situation is getting better, instead of keeping my defenses up to protect myself?”
“We didn’t want you to worry, babygirl,” Liam says.
“We just wanted you to have a little bit of a normal life. For just a bit,” Ronan finishes.
I let out a bitter laugh.
“Whose brilliant plan was that?” I practically snarl.
Liam begins to speak. “We—”
“It was me,” Asher says.
All eyes swing to him as he remains unmoving.
“I decided it was best to keep you in the dark. I didn’t want your messy emotions getting in the way of things,” he says, as he gestures to where I sit on the floor.
That jab felt especially painful, poking at a tender part of my walls that were slowly coming down for him.
“I forced them not to tell you, it’s on me. I’d do it all over again, because you’ve smiled more in this last week than I bet you have in your whole life.”
I open my mouth to argue that fact before I nod in agreement.
“See? You’re welcome,” Asher says, in a way that raises my hackles.
“Shut the fuck up, man,” Liam grumbles. “What can we do for you?” he asks as he faces me again.
“This. Can I just have more of this?” I ask, gesturing to the fact that they are all touching me.
They all nod as Ronan stands up, keeping me in his arms as he does before laying on my bed and setting me in the middle. Vincent takes up the other side while Liam crawls between my legs, resting his head on my upper thigh.,
“Thank you,” I whisper softly, allowing my body to relax into the feel of them all.
I look around the room to find that Maggie is gone. She probably wanted to make a quiet escape in the heat of everything, and I don’t blame her. I’m grateful she was here, because I don’t know how I would have been able to call the guys otherwise.
The only person still standing is Asher. The letter in his hand is clenched tightly by his side, his eyes flicking between the four of us before settling on me. There are so many emotions in his gaze and yet I struggle to name any of them. I feel like I’m crazy, like I’m seeing what I want to see, not what’s actually there.
I want to see desire deep in those melted chocolate eyes. I want to see envy and lust, wishing he was with us right now. I want to see pure desperation for me and only me.
How fucking selfish am I?
If any of those emotions were there, they are gone in a flash before he straightens up and nods.
“I’m gonna go try to lift some prints. Keep your eyes on her,” he says before turning and heading out the door, closing it behind him as he does.
Despite it being the middle of the day, I feel my eyes begin to flutter closed, the exhaustion of the panic attack taking full control of my body as I drift off to sleep surrounded by the three men who hold my heart, and I theirs.
Chapter Forty One
Asher
Imove through campus briskly, not paying attention to anyone or anything. I’m heading to my dorm building but only going one floor up to Andrew Hutchinson’s room. His dad owns the largest tech security company on the east coast and his son is his little protégé. I know how to lift fingerprints, we’re taught basic things like that in our training, but I don’t have the time, patience or energy for that. I’ll leave it to the geek.
My fist pounds on the door, some scrambling sounds coming from inside before Andrew peeks his head out. He seems to almost relax when he sees that it’s me, which is usually not the reaction that I get. Most people around here fear me just as much as they fear my father. He tells me it’s a good thing. I’ve just never really known any different.
“Hey, Asher. What’s up?”
“I need you to lift some prints for me and run them. No one has touched it but me with my glove on so whoever comes up, I want the name. Got it?”
“Sure. No problem,” he says as his eyes begin scanning over the paper.”
“I said lift it, don’t fucking read it,” I snap, causing himself to straighten up and push his door open.
“Come in, set it right there,” he says, pointing to a blank desk with a myriad of tools and tech gadgets. I won’t even begin to guess what they do.
Three expensive looking cameras sit on the shelf above as well as several photographs hung up on the walls. They are landscape photos like the forest, the beach and stuff like that. They are clearly amateur but not half bad.
“How long?” I ask as I turn to face him as he begins collecting his supplies.
“Uh, half an hour? Maybe more?” he says.
“Make it less,” I say as I move past him, shutting his door behind me as I turn towards the elevators.
I don’t feel like waiting around, hovering over his shoulder so I decide to head up to my room. It isn’t where I really want to be right now, but where I really want to be isn’t an option for me. Not now, not ever.
I don’t know when it happened. I’m not sure if it happened slowly or seemingly overnight. All I know is that for longer than I’d care to admit, things have been feeling…different. And I don’t know how to stop it. I don’t know how to shut my mind off, to not think about her, to not want her.
Sure, she’s always been a smoke show. I knew that from the moment my father handed me her file, with a ‘meet your future wife’ speech. I was so pissed off that my time as a bachelor was getting cut short. As the most powerful man on campus, I wasn’t even included in the decision of who would be my wife.
I was so furious and angry that this woman was getting thrust upon me, and I took it out on her. For weeks, I thought of idea after idea on how to make her life hell. How to force her to call this thing off herself. I knew there was no way it could come from my side, but I had hoped maybe she had more say in this than me. I should have known better.
One moment spent with her and her father, and I knew that the man had more disdain for her than my father did for me, I really didn’t think that was possible. Two moments spent with her after she witnessed my father’s rage firsthand and treated me with kindness I didn’t deserve, and I knew that I had so wrongly misjudged her. Three moments of seeing her mostly naked and wanting, watching her beg and whine and moan around Liam’s cock while being desperate for my touch, and I knew I was fucking done for.
As I step inside my room, I kick the door shut, burying my fingers into my hair as I pull hard.
FUCK!
This wasn’t the plan. I wasn’t supposed to fall for her. Even when I decided hating her would be futile, I thought we could be amicable. Have a friendship of sorts and I was even willing to allow her to see the guys, even if saying the words out loud tasted like ash on my tongue. The truth is, I think realization hit me at that very moment. The one where a small voice in my head jumped out and asked, ‘What if you could be enough? What if having you and you having her was all you two needed?’
I squashed that inner voice to dust, because we both know that’s not how that would go down. I want to be selfish. I want to steal her away from all of them, keep her tucked away and safe. It’s obvious that currently, there isn’t any room in her heart for me. There’s no room left.
If I ban her from ever seeing them again, if I kept her locked away in a cage, she would only hate me, not love them less. As much of a monster as I’m sometimes portrayed to be, I’m not completely heartless. I know me being selfish would hurt Ronan and Liam…I don’t really give a fuck about Vincent to be honest, but most of all I’d be hurting her. I’ve already hurt her enough. I don’t want to inflict more pain. She doesn’t deserve it.
So, I’ll be the one that suffers. Once we’re married, she will be able to live at least, for the most part, happily ever after with her boyfriends. I’ll go out, get black out drunk and lose myself in whatever wet and willing hole is up for the taking that night. It won’t really matter in the end, none of them will be her, so none of them will be worth a fucking damn.
My phone buzzes in my hand, and despite it only being ten minutes I had hoped it was Hutchinson. Unfortunately, it’s the devil incarnate himself.
“Hello, father,” I greet.
“Asher, how are things coming along?”
“Things are going well. How about with you?”
“All good here. You staying out of trouble?” he asks, a heavy warning lacing his words. I’m actually thankful that I’m able to be honest at the moment. Lying to him is always a tossup, he is too well versed at bullshitting. It only works maybe forty percent of the time.
“Actually, I am. Skyla and I have been spending more time together. She’s actually pretty great, I see why you selected her for me.”
“Really?” he says, surprise evident in his tone. “Well, isn’t that delightful to hear. She’s such a good girl, isn’t she? So pretty and polite. Just watch that you conceal that fire. Her mother had it, just the same and look how that ended for her.”
