The Art of Being a Vampire, page 6
I moaned, soft at first.
“I don’t feel good.”
This was true.
The moment
I’d walked in,
the smell
of blood
turned me
more
animal
than
person.
The people
in that
room
mighta been
wrapped up
in cellophane
just like
the steak
at the
grocery store,
cause that’s
how I
saw ’em—
as meat.
It was
all I
could do
to keep
from
grabbing
the nearest
warm body.
Sinking
my fangs
into ’em.
Somehow,
I resisted.
Recalling
the plan,
I went back
to being sickly.
“AUUUGH,”
I yelled.
A few heads
turned my
way.
Concern
on their faces.
But I needed
more than
that.
Clutching my head,
I headed for
a table
stacked with
brochures.
Pretending
to trip,
I tumbled
into them. Sent papers
flying.
Threw myself
onto the floor.
Almost immediately
people began
to gather ’round me.
“You okay, hun?”
a woman asked,
touching my arm.
She was so close
I could smell her
soap.
Beneath it,
the meat of her body.
Like tenderloin.
But better—
fresher—
And I coulda sworn
my ears were
picking up
the thump of
her heart.
The slosh
of her blood
as it flowed
through her body.
I imagined
her veins
and the blood
in ’em.
Like a river.
All I needed
to do
was dip
a hand in—
“Hun?”
she asked again
as I clapped
a hand over
my mouth.
Feeling my fangs
pushing against
my upper lip,
wanting out.
“She’s gonna
be sick,”
someone else said.
Several people
stepped back a little.
That gave me
space enough
to escape.
I got to
my feet.
I shot through
the crowd
and then out
the door.
I ran and ran
with everything
I had left.
Finally,
I could go
no further.
Feet heavy,
I stumbled
into an area
of heavy brush
and collapsed.
Brandt Found Me
Put a piece of meat
to my lips.
The way
you would
a cup of
water for
someone who’d
just come outta
the desert.
“How’d you find me?”
I croaked.
“I’m connected
to you,
cause I
made you,”
he answered.
I frowned at this.
“But Sid bit me,
right?”
Something flickered
across Brandt’s face
but was gone
before I could
name it.
“Yeah,”
he said, at last.
“But I brought you
to them.”
There was something
missing in that
answer.
I mighta asked
more questions
except that I
noticed the flush
in Brandt’s face
and the warmth
coming from
his body.
“You fed,”
I said, the words
coming out
like an
accusation.
He went
even pinker.
His eyes
flicked away
from mine.
“There was a guard,”
he said,
his voice low.
“He caught me
at the door.”
Brandt swallowed hard,
before continuing.
“I let him
pull me into this
back room,
and then . . .”
He stopped there.
Clearly
not wanting
to say the rest.
But I needed
to know
the worst
of it.
“Is he . . .
dead?”
Brandt was
silent for so long,
I thought he
wouldn’t answer
at all.
But finally,
he said,
“I drained him.
Not just for me,
but for you.
We can’t keep
surviving on
sucking the
juices outta
T-bone steaks.”
My eyes
sank closed.
“What about
the blood
donation?”
I asked.
“I lost those,”
Brandt said.
“I’m sorry.”
I laughed
and the sound
was bitter . . .
and it made me
think of Tallie
again.
“Well what
am I
supposed
to do now?”
I asked him.
Brandt pointed
to his neck.
“Use your teeth.
You have to
bite someone
sooner or later.
At least
I’m willing.”
I’d Once Wanted
to kiss Brandt
in the pouring rain.
That seemed like
a long, long,
looooong
time ago.
Since turning
into this,
all thoughts
of romance
with Brandt—
or anyone else—
had
disappeared.
My hunger
filled me up.
There wasn’t
space for
nothing else.
When I looked
at Brandt,
I’d stopped
wondering
about how
his lips would
feel pressed
against mine.
All I saw
in him
and every other
living thing
was the blood
beneath their skin.
I pressed
my fingers
to Brandt’s neck,
feeling the
big artery there.
Swollen thick
like a stream
turned into
a raging river
after a long
rainfall.
He was fat
as a tick
on that
security guard’s
blood.
And instead
of making
me sick,
all I felt
in that moment
was the desire
to get
my share
of what’d
been taken.
I leaned into
Brandt.
All my past
hesitation
forgotten.
“Wait,”
he said.
He put one
of his hands
round my neck,
then squeezed
hard enough
I could feel
the pressure
on my windpipe.
“Gotta have
a way to cut you off,”
he explained.
“Otherwise,
you’ll drink me
dry.”
I wanted to
tell him
that would
never happen.
But I was
almost woozy
with hunger.
And the part
of my brain
that said
Thou Shalt Not
(always in Grams’s voice)
had gone
silent.
“Sure,”
I said.
Then I
pressed my
lips
to Brandt’s
neck.
I tasted salt
and something
else that was
uniquely him.
Then my fangs
pierced his skin.
Blood
filled my
mouth,
drowning
out
everything
else.
I Gulped the Blood
Barely noticed
when his
grip round
my neck
grew tighter.
When the sound
of his blood—
now my own—
roared in my
ears.
Even as
my throat
closed,
stopping
air and
blood
from getting
through,
I continued
to suck.
Wanting MORE.
Until at last,
it all went
black.
The Photos I Took
of the
black and blue
bruises round my neck
in the
shape of
Brandt’s
fingers
were
strangely
beautiful.
Or at least
I thought so.
But the comments
I got
were no
longer
fun.
“Hun,
this is
abuse,”
one said.
And others
agreed.
“Your man
is no good
for you,”
another wrote.
To my
surprise,
I answered, “I know.”
I called that
photo
Loved Him Stupid.
Brandt and Me
made the news
that night.
Turns out
Y’s
are full of
cameras.
They’d
gotten good
pictures of
Brandt’s face.
Plus,
since
Brandt and I
had walked in
together,
it was possible
someone there could
give a description of me.
Which is
to say,
it turns out
Brandt and I
were a pair
of dummies.
“Sid and Tallie
will kill me.
They told me so.
Said to do what
I wanted
but keep it
quiet.”
Brandt clenched
his phone
tight in his hand
as he told
me this.
The blood drive
incident was the
top story
on the local
news station app.
It seemed
that Brandt
was
at large.
Considered
dangerous.
This was
pretty much
the opposite of
quiet.
“What now?”
I asked.
Brandt stared up
at the sky
like it might
have an answer
for him.
Maybe it did,
cause a
moment later
he said,
“We gotta run,
of course.”
He said it like
it was the
obvious answer.
Which I
suppose it was.
Still, I didn’t like
him thinking
that I’d
come along
no questions asked.
Cause I had questions.
Lots of ’em.
And they were
getting asked.
Starting with,
“Wait a minute.
You said you
could find me
cause you made me.
Won’t Sid and Tallie
find you
the same way?”
Brandt sighed heavy,
like I tuckered him out.
He’d been doing that
a lot lately.
Often with a promise
to tell me whatever
I wanted to know
later.
A later that never came.
But not this time.
“Just tell me,”
I demanded.
So he did.
He told me
how his junkie
cousin, Finn,
who brought
him to
Sid and Tallie’s
was also
the one who
made him.
“Where is Finn now?”
I asked.
“Does it matter?”
Brandt asked.
When I
nodded yes,
he sighed again.
“He’s dead.
Okay?”
Then he stomped away.
There was something
in the way
he’d said it.
Some hesitation.
It made me wonder.
I had Brandt’s phone
cause I’d been
taking photos earlier.
It was an easy thing
to open Brandt’s
Facelook app.
Scroll through
his contacts
looking for a Finn.
I found him quick.
He was maybe
25
and very much
alive—
with a wife
and
a new little baby.
So Brandt Was a Liar
Just how big of one, I didn’t know yet.
Finn wasn’t dead.
Was he ever even a vampire
in the first place?
And if he was…
then did he turn back
again?
Brandt had always claimed
to feel
bad
about
changing me.
He acted
like he was
full of
regrets.
And maybe
he was.
But what if there was a
larger truth?
What if
Brandt had known
all the while
I could be
turned
back?
Maybe he knew,
but made
sure that
I
didn’t.
The thought
made me feel sick.
Brandt Returned
Full of ideas
’bout how we
oughta go to
Alaska,
cause he’d
always wanted
to see it.
I asked what
the heck was
in Alaska.
He told me
moose.
Which made
me laugh
and made him
mad.
Not that I cared.
“We ain’t going
nowhere till we
get some money,”
I told Brandt.
I tossed
his phone at him.
Added,
“Maybe your
cousin would
let us borrow
some.”
Brandt didn’t
have enough
blood in him
to blush.
And maybe
he wouldn’t
have anyhow.
He seemed
more angry
than ashamed
at being caught
in a lie.
“You wanna
know the truth?”
he snapped at me.
“After turning me,
Finn got cold feet.
Went to
my father—
told him it was
drugs.
Asked him
to send us both
to rehab.”
“Did he?”
I asked.
Brandt nodded,
a short jerk
of his head.
“He sent us.
I ran away
the second day.
Finn stayed.
Got clean,
or whatever.”
He turned away
like that was that.
End of story.
But it wasn’t,
not for me.
“What’s clean
or whatever?
You mean he’s
not a bloodsucker
no more?
You mean
we can go back
to being
normal?”
I figured
this was
exactly
what it meant,
but I wanted
Brandt to admit it.
At this, Brandt
spun and
came at me,
a dangerous
light in
his eyes.
“It takes going through hell
to get back
to the living.
And—
you wanted this,”
he added.
“You hated your life.
You told me
you ‘wouldn’t
never come to
nothing.’
Those were
your words
exactly.
In that
hillbilly way
you talk.
So don’t pretend
like you
didn’t
say it.”
