Ian (Las Vegas Sidewinders Book 15), page 23
“You all right, man?” Dax was still his closest friend and knew him better than most.
“Yeah, just a little distracted.”
“Still thinking about Everly?”
“What do you think?”
“I think you’re a dumbass. Just because she didn’t make it easy for you to make up doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you.”
“No, it doesn’t. She said as much. The problem is me.”
“What does that mean?”
“I don’t know.” He waved when they got off the elevator. “I’m going to get some sleep and do a little soul-searching. We’ll talk in the morning, yeah?”
“Good night.”
Ian got into his room and sank onto the bed. He stretched out on his back, putting his hands behind his head and staring up at the ceiling. For the first time maybe ever, he wished he was back in Scotland. He didn’t want to work in law or finance, but he loved his family. The bickering with his siblings, the easy banter with his grandfather, and of course, he was particularly close to his mother and twin sister. He even missed Merrie and Phay, whom he’d known his entire life.
It was after midnight here in California, which meant it was eight in the morning in Scotland, so he grabbed his phone and called his mother.
“Hello, love.” She sounded wide awake.
“Hi, Mum.”
“What’s wrong, darling?” She knew him well.
“Everything.”
“Oh, dear. Sounds serious. Do you want to talk?”
“I need to get out of my head,” he muttered. “I’m so confused about so many bloody things and I don’t know why.”
“This is about Everly?”
“This is about me, but the issues have become clearer because of Everly.”
“Tell me.”
“I want it all,” he admitted, letting out a huge rush of air as if he’d been holding in the weight of the world.
“In what way, darling?”
“I want hockey. I want to be Duke. I want my life in the U.S. I want my Scottish family legacy. And I really fucking want the girl.”
She laughed, making Ian frown, but it was such a boisterous sound he wasn’t sure whether she was mocking him or something else. “Mum?”
“You’re twenty-seven years old,” she said, still chuckling. “Of course you want it all. We all do at that age. Your dad and I were a bit younger, but it’s the same thing.”
“And did you get it all?”
“Most of it, yes. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices for your children, your work, whatever it is, but yes, we lived our lives to the fullest, without regrets. And now that I’ve lost him? I wouldn’t change a bloody minute of it.”
“But he hated his job.”
“He did, and that’s why he pushed you to play hockey and do something you love. It’s also why your grandfather didn’t push nearly as hard as he could have. He knows you want it all and he wants you to have it.”
“But what of the others? They’re paying their dues, not living nearly the way I do and—”
“Liam loves working at the firm,” she interrupted. “He’s going to run the place one day and he knows it. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be working for a pittance like he is. And honestly, how hard is his life? He’s working the job he wants because he’s going to be in charge in the next decade. He lives at home, drives a lovely sports car paid for by the company, and has no expenses beyond his social life. He also will inherit a hefty trust fund when he turns thirty, just like the rest of you. Same with Lachlan, who’s to be Liam’s right-hand man when the time is right. They’re doing exactly what they want to do, and now, it appears Finn wants to pick up where you’re leaving off.
“We are a blessed, lucky family who have the means and the power to live our lives the way we want to, for the most part. Perhaps we made a big mistake with your father’s career, but we’ve learned from it and I won’t allow it to happen to my children. You’ll all follow your hearts and your grandfather knows it. So. Tell me the issue with wanting it all.”
“You’re saying I’ve already got it all,” he said slowly.
“Except perhaps the girl…but you can fix that.”
“So I’m not being a selfish arse?”
“You are, but not in a bad way. You make your own money. It’s not as if you’re sitting on my couch asking for handouts. You work extremely hard and have two separate careers, despite not actively working in the legal field just now. But you make seven figures a year at one of them—so why would you? My gut tells me you’ll stay in the sports field when you’re done playing hockey, perhaps as a sports attorney or agent, but until then, why worry about what you want? Enjoy what you have.”
“Then why all the machinations over the years?”
“Children, even when they’re adults, need structure and drive,” she said slowly. “We have a huge heritage to keep intact. Your grandfather had to be sure you were the man to take charge someday, and though you’ve proven yourself to him in a different way than any of us expected, it doesn’t make you less of a man or a less qualified candidate to be the patriarch when he’s gone.”
Ian swallowed back a load of emotions that came on suddenly. Everything she said would have made him incredibly happy had he had Everly in his life, but without her, nothing seemed quite as exciting as it might have otherwise. He’d wanted this freedom, permission in a sense, to do it all, have it all, even want it all. Now that he had it, it was a hollow victory without Everly.
“Ian?”
“I’m here.” He cleared his throat. “I have to get her back, Mum. I just don’t know how.”
“Words of love, straight from your heart. Attention. Grand gestures. Engagement ring. Quite simple, really.”
He snorted. “That’s all, eh? Grand gestures and words of love?”
“Don’t forget the attention and the ring.”
“I don’t know what kind of ring to get her.”
“Expensive.”
“Everly isn’t easily impressed with that type of thing.”
“No, but an engagement ring is from your heart. If she truly loves you, and I believe she does, she’ll know it’s not about the size of the diamond.”
“I have no time,” he sighed. “And that’s legitimately an issue. I’m on the road now and when I get back, we’ve got games, practices…”
“What happened with that plastic surgeon? Won’t Everly be coming to Las Vegas with Margot and Gracie?”
“I don’t know,” he said slowly. “Can Isla find out?”
His mother laughed. “I’ll ring you tonight, when it’s morning for you, and let you know what I find out.”
“Thanks, Mum. For everything.”
“Any time, my love.”
38
The last thing Everly imagined herself doing two weeks after the car accident was flying with Margot and Gracie to Las Vegas. Gracie’s doctor had been contacted by a top-notch plastic surgeon in Las Vegas and the next thing they knew, Gracie had been accepted as part of a study. There was a grant or something paying their travel, and participation in the study didn’t cost anything. Everly and Margot had both scrambled to arrange their schedules to accommodate the last-minute trip, since there would most likely be surgery involved for Gracie.
She hadn’t asked a lot of questions because they would supposedly be answered once they met with the doctor who ran the study, but knowing she would be in the same city as Ian was generally overwhelming. She needed and wanted to talk to him but wasn’t sure how to approach him or if she even should. There was a lot of distance between them and it would be hard to bridge that after everything that had happened.
Gracie was her priority now, though, and she tried to keep her thoughts focused as they waited for Dr. Riser to meet with them. She wasn’t expecting a tall, slender woman with ash-blond hair and a stunning figure to walk into the room.
“Hi,” she said with a friendly smile. “I’m Dr. Mackenzie Riser. It’s so nice to meet you.”
Margot shook her hand and introduced Everly. They exchanged a little small talk before Dr. Riser sat behind her desk and opened a file. “So I see the pictures of Gracie’s face and I understand your concern. Let me tell you what I do and how I think it could work for Gracie. My focus since I closed my practice has been burn victims. However, in Gracie’s case, she’s so young and the damage from the glass is so extensive, the procedure would be similar—removing the damaged skin and replacing it with new, unscarred skin from somewhere else on her body, probably her bottom. With other children her age, I’ve had wonderful results, but it’s not a quick or easy procedure. The recovery is hell with children because they don’t understand, they don’t like the cooling mask, they can’t run around…which means a lot of stress on you.”
“Whatever it takes,” Margot said quietly. “At three, her face doesn’t matter so much, but as she gets older, becomes a teenager, I don’t want her to be the scarred girl no one wants to look at.”
“And I understand that, which is why I was intrigued by her case.” Dr. Riser rifled through some papers. “Now, I’m going to show you exactly what I’m going to do and how it works…”
Everly’s mind drifted as Dr. Riser got into the nuts and bolts of the surgery and recovery. Everly would be here to help, keeping Margot from freaking out and helping to calm Gracie in the aftermath, but her thoughts kept straying to Ian. Where he was, what he was doing, if she dared to call him. Her talk with her mother the other day had been thought-provoking and she realized she had been using Margot and Gracie as her excuse to not get close to anyone else. She’d gotten lost in the fun and excitement of a summer romance with Ian, but as soon as it had gone south, she’d allowed it. Instead of fighting for the man she’d fallen in love with, she’d resigned herself to her fate.
By the time they’d finished talking with Dr. Riser, Gracie’s surgery was scheduled for Monday, which was three days from now, and there would be all kinds of tests over the weekend to make sure she was a good candidate for the procedure. In the meantime, Margot and Dr. Riser were going to see Gracie now so Dr. Riser could develop a bit of a rapport with her. Everly was going to use this time to get online and do a little work. Financially, she was fine but Margot would be going without pay the next two weeks, which meant Everly had to pick up the slack. Luckily, she had more work than she had time for, since her photographs seemed to be in high demand.
She’d just settled into a chair outside of Gracie’s room when she heard her name being called. She looked up in surprise and recognized Dax.
“Hi,” she said, getting up again and closing her laptop.
He reached out and gave her a hug. “How are you?”
“I’m good. What are you doing here?”
“Once a week, when we’re not on the road, two of us are chosen to visit the children’s ward here. This week it’s Tore and me.”
“I’m glad I got a chance to see you.”
“What’s going on with your knee?” he asked, looking down at the brace.
“I dislocated it in the accident, but it’s fine. I just wear it because I don’t want to take a chance of it popping out again while traveling.”
“Are you going to physical therapy?”
“Not yet. Right now, we’re focused on Gracie.”
“Hey, girl!” Tore came bounding down the hall, his voice exuberant as he scooped her up and spun her around.
“Hi!” She laughed for the first time in what felt like a hundred years. It was nice to see Dax and Tore, though a poignant reminder that Ian wasn’t here.
“Where’s Ian?” she finally asked, looking from one to the other.
“He’s…” Tore scratched his head. “Scared.”
“That’s not a location,” she said quietly.
“No, it’s his current state of mind. He wanted to come but was afraid of what his reception would be and he didn’t want to do anything that might upset you in front of Gracie.”
“So Isla told him we were here?”
Dax nodded. “Did you think she wouldn’t?”
“I don’t know.” Isla had texted her, asking about Gracie, and Everly had told her the plan to come to Las Vegas. When Isla had pressed her to call Ian, Everly had demurred, but she’d assumed Isla would tell him. Whether or not he would do anything about it was yet to be seen. “I kind of blew him off when he reached out a week or so ago.”
“You two are such a mess,” Tore said, shaking his head. “But take it from me and don’t let this go on too long. Do we need to intervene to get you in a room together?”
Everly hesitated. She wanted to see him so badly it was almost tangible, but she was also terrified.
“Yes or no, girlfriend?” Dax gave her a meaningful look. “He’s sorry and he misses you, but you have to make the next move since he reached out last time, you know?”
She nodded. “Y-yes. I want to see him, but—”
“Hey, Everly.” Margot stuck her head out the door and then froze, her eyes going from Dax to Tore and then finally settling on Everly questioningly.
“Margot, come meet my friends.” Everly tugged her forward. “Dax O’Day and Tore Brekken. They’re two of Ian’s teammates on the Sidewinders.”
Margot blinked and her cheeks got a little pink. She was looking at Tore and Everly thought there might have been a little drool on her lip but she seemed to realize she was staring and quickly shook it off, turning her attention to Dax. “Hi, nice to meet you. I heard a lot about the two of you.” She finally met Tore’s eyes again. “Are you the one who dumped a hundred gallons of champagne on Evie’s chest?”
Tore laughed as he shook her hand. “That might be a slight exaggeration, but yes, that’s how we met. I’ve apologized, though.”
“Nice to meet you.” Dax shook her hand as well.
“Nice to meet you too.” Margot turned back to Everly. “Dr. Riser is getting ready to go. Did you have any questions for her?”
“Hey, Mack.” Tore walked over to Dr. Riser and gave her a big hug.
“Hello, boys.” She smiled at both him and Dax. “You guys doing your turn at the hospital?”
“Got my bag of goodies!” Tore held up a large sack he was carrying.
“Gracie probably needs some cheering up,” Mack said. “She’s a little sad right now.”
“How do you guys know each other?” Everly asked in confusion.
“Mack is married to Coach Rousseau,” Dax told her, “the team’s goalie coach.”
“Oh.” Everly narrowed her eyes at Mack. “Did you really find out about Gracie by accident or did Ian tell you?”
Mack smiled and shrugged. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. But I’ll see you guys tomorrow if you don’t have any other questions.”
She moved down the hallway after Everly shook her head. She should have known this couldn’t be a coincidence, that she wound up in Vegas after Ian had reached out to her, but now she didn’t know what to do about it.
“Are you going to introduce us to Gracie?” Tore asked after a moment.
“Of course.” Margot took over and led them into the room.
Gracie was subdued, her dark hair in a tiny ponytail on top of her head since her face was almost completely covered in bandages. She looked at Tore and Dax curiously, but didn’t say anything, merely watching them approach her and focusing on the sack Tore carried.
“I’m Tore,” he said, settling on the edge of her bed. “What’s your name?”
“Gracie.”
“This is my friend Dax. We play hockey.”
“Like Ian?”
Apparently, three-year-olds forgot nothing.
Tore nodded solemnly. “Yup. Do you like hockey?”
Gracie shook her head. “No.”
“Well, that’s okay. We still brought you presents.”
Her eyes lit up a little at the word presents and Dax pulled a big blue and gold, snake-shaped stuffed animal out of the bag. “What do you think? Is he cute or scary?”
Gracie studied the snake carefully and then slowly held out her hand. “He’s not scary—he’s a toy. What’s his name?”
“We were thinking you could name him,” Tore said, grinning at her.
She looked down at the snake, which was at least three feet long and six inches in diameter, and pulled it against her chest. “Ian,” she said. “Auntie Evie misses her Ian, so I’ll give her mine when she’s sad.”
Everly’s face probably turned every possible shade of red as Margot, Tore and Dax stifled grins.
“Well, she won’t have to miss him for long,” Dax stage-whispered to Gracie. “He’s going to visit soon.”
“Yay!” Gracie clapped her hands.
“I’m going to kill her,” Everly muttered through the side of her mouth to Margot.
“Nothing we say in front of her is safe,” Margot chuckled. “You know that.”
“Great.” Everly leaned against the doorway, trying to stay out of the way as Tore and Dax pulled gift after gift out of the sack. A T-shirt for Margot, a child-sized Sidewinders jersey, an autographed puck and more. Gracie was delighted, even though she knew nothing about hockey and had never even heard of the Sidewinders, but it was nice to see her smiling.
“Hello, lass.”
The softly accented voice behind her made her temporarily freeze, but then Everly slowly turned her head.
Ian.
39
Her eyes widened as she looked at him and Ian stopped a couple of feet away from her.
“Hi.” She seemed somewhat unsettled by his presence and he took a breath.
“How’s Gracie? Sounds like the boys are entertaining her.”
“Yes. It’s nice to hear her laugh.”
Their eyes met. “How are you?” His eyes traveled to her knee. “You’re still in a brace?”
“I haven’t had time to get to physical therapy and I don’t want to take a chance it pops out again.”
“You really shouldn’t put it off,” he said quietly.
“I know, but Gracie’s the priority right now.” She paused. “Were you responsible for bringing us out here?”
