Nowhere Left to Fall (The Nowhere Trilogy Book 1), page 13
“It’s going to be hotter than balls in Vegas,” Sandor said.
“You’ll be fine. Believe it or not, they have AC in the U.S.”
He chuckled. “Smartass.”
“I haven’t worked out our living arrangement yet,” I told him. “So don’t freak out. My hope is that we’ll live at my parents’ house, but you know how she is. She might be determined to live in her condo, and I don’t know how we’ll handle security if that’s the case.”
Sandor rolled his eyes. “You’re the man—can’t you tell her what needs to happen for safety purposes and leave it at that?”
I snorted. “Do you know Casey at all? Me pulling the me-Tarzan-you-Jane routine won’t go over well. Besides, what kind of Neanderthal are you? That’s not how relationships work.”
“Since I haven’t been in one since university, I don’t think I remember how they work.”
“Being my bodyguard doesn’t preclude you from dating.”
He shrugged. “You’re always on the move. When would I have time? I make time for sex, and for now that will have to be enough.”
“Sex isn’t a bad thing.”
Sandor grinned. “Not at all.”
Casey came out of the bedroom looking refreshed and she sank into the chair next to mine.
“Hey. Sorry I fell asleep, but I didn’t sleep last night.”
“I know. I felt you tossing and turning. Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?”
Sandor got up and moved to the other side of the plane, pulling out his headphones.
Casey sighed. “You know what they say about things that are too good to be true?”
I met her eyes in surprise. “You mean us?”
She nodded.
“Why?” I asked, frowning slightly. “I thought things have been going rather well.”
“Too well.” She sighed and then took a breath. “Erik, you are the most wonderful man in the world. I had a crush on you for years because you were hot and a prince and kind of mysterious, but I had no way of knowing the man you really are. Now that I do, it’s mind-blowing. You’re kind and giving and passionate. You like me just the way I am and seem willing to do or change anything to make me happy and to be with me.”
“But?” I eyed her warily.
“Look what’s already happened… I caused trouble with your cousin and the king. The press has had a field day with my history of partying, and they’ve already gotten pictures of us having sex. All I can see in your future is trouble. Because of me.”
“You haven’t been listening,” I said softly, looking down at her. “I don’t care about any of that shit—I really don’t. The only thing the king can take from me is my title, and compared to you, that’s literally nothing. You know that, don’t you?”
“You have all the answers and that scares me too.”
“I love you. Period. The last month has been wonderful, and there’s no reason for anything to change. We’ll get married, have babies and do the family thing for a while. Once the novelty has worn off and you’re ready to play music again, we’ll hire a nanny and take the kids on the road.”
She blinked. “You’d go on tour with me?”
“Well, I assumed you’d want me to, but if that would cramp your style, I wouldn’t—”
“No!” She smacked me lightly. “I meant, what would you do on tour? You’d be bored, and then—”
“Stop telling me what I’d feel and think and do. I’ve spent my whole bloody life being told I had to do this or that. For what, I’m still not sure. I had to have a proper education. Learn proper manners. Date certain women. Be a certain way. And for what? I’m never going to be king, and short of that, there’s no reason for everything I’ve done other than education. For once, I’m going to do what I want, which is to marry a rock star and follow her around the world. If I get bored, I can make a few personal adjustments, but for now, that’s all I want.”
“The press is going to have a field day with this.”
“I don’t give a damn about the press,” I said. “We can invite them to the wedding. I love you, we’re going to be together, and I don’t care who knows it.”
“I’m still nervous.”
“About what? Tell me each thing.”
“I…” Her voice faded. “I don’t know. It’s just a gut feeling.”
“You’re scared, and honestly, so am I. There’s a lot to who we are. You’re rock and roll royalty, and I’m actual royalty. Our paths are going to be convoluted and disparate, but there’s no one I’d rather take that journey with. Do you love me, Casey?”
“With everything I am.”
“Then what else is there? You’re everything to me. I’ve been in love with you for years. Yes, perhaps initially it was a bit of a crush, the pretty blond musician with a smokin’ hot body… But I saw glimpses of the woman you were becoming, and I was both fascinated and impressed. These last few weeks have proven you’re everything I thought you were and more. I love you, Casey, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make this work as long as you feel the same.”
“I do,” she whispered.
“Then let’s move in together and start planning our future.”
Her eyes were wet with tears as she nodded. “Okay. Yes. Let’s do that.”
“We have to talk about living arrangements, though.”
She smiled. “I know. It’s safer if we live with your parents, right? So that’s what we should do.”
Reason number 423,423,534 that I loved this woman.
My parents were so excited to see us it was a little embarrassing. They’d prepared a suite for us in the back of their estate, where we would have privacy but was still attached so we would also have access to the rest of the house, the pool, and the kitchen. The seventeen-thousand-square-foot home was built on five acres, giving them lots of room and lots of privacy. It had ten bedrooms, three of which were suites with living areas and private bathrooms and entrances, sixteen bathrooms, a guest house for live-in help, and a five-car garage, though rumor had it my father had wanted room for ten cars and my mother had put her foot down.
The only cloud on our otherwise happy return home was my surly sister. Skye had been in a foul mood since leaving Limaj, my mother told us, and seemed to be taking it out on everyone. I planned to keep Casey far away from her for now but interaction between them was inevitable and it worried me because they’d never liked each other growing up. I had no idea why, and Casey merely said it was because my sister had always looked down her nose at her, but there had to be more to it. They were going to be sisters soon, so I planned to work on that relationship, but there was time. My only goal right now was to make Casey happy and relax a little more with everything happening between us.
My parents planned a nice dinner for all of us, including Casey’s parents, the day after we arrived and there was a lot of love and laughter at the table as we ate. Skye had opted not to join us, which was fine with me, and conversation was lively as our parents grilled us within an inch of our lives.
“Can’t we just start planning a wedding?” My mother pouted, playfully sticking out her lower lip.
“You will not deprive me of the romantic proposal I’m waiting for,” Casey admonished her, laughing.
“What are you waiting for then?” Teal demanded of me.
“It’s been, like, four minutes,” I told them, laughing. “Give us a break.”
“It’s been a lifetime in the making,” my mother said firmly. “We’ve known you two were meant for each other since the day you were born.”
Casey shook her head. “How come no one ever told me?”
“It was written in the stars,” Uncle Lucas teased. “So it was inevitable. We didn’t think we had to.”
Casey glanced at me. “Who are these people and what have they done with our parents?”
“We want grandchildren!” Mom and Aunt Teal spoke together and then burst out laughing.
Casey, however, didn’t look amused and took a bite of her dinner instead.
That was interesting. Something else she was keeping from me. Did she not want kids? We’d talked about the subject loosely, without any details, and she’d never said anything about not wanting them. The look on her face just now told me something else, though.
We didn’t have any time to talk because our parents kept the conversation moving in fifty different directions, but I kept it in the back of my mind for when we were finally alone. Casey locked herself in the bathroom when we finally got back to our room, so I got undressed and crawled into bed. I always slept naked, and Casey had started to as well, but she still spent an inordinate amount of time in the bathroom before bed. I had no idea what she did since she was already the most beautiful woman I knew, but I figured it was a woman thing.
She was taking a much longer time than usual tonight and I was just about to go check on her when she came out. She was wearing a large T-shirt, something she hadn’t done since our first night in Limaj, and there was a strange look on her face.
“What’s wrong?” I asked automatically, sitting up in alarm.
She looked at me, her eyes wide as she said, “I’m late.”
23
Casey
I had no idea how Erik would react to my news, but he didn’t bat an eyelash, merely reaching for me and pulling me against him on the bed.
“How late?” he asked.
“About two weeks, give or take. I don’t usually pay a lot of attention because I’m really regular.”
“We should buy a test.”
“Yes.” She shivered slightly.
“What’s wrong? Are you upset?”
“Well, yeah. Aren’t you?”
“Is this a trick question?” he asked slowly. “I mean, should I be? I love you. Yeah, it would’ve been nice to wait a little, but what’s the difference? And professionally, the timing is perfect because you’re between projects. It would be much worse if you were in the middle of a tour or getting ready to start one.”
“That’s true.” I closed my eyes. “Everything is happening so fast, Erik. I’m just getting used to being in a relationship this serious, and now… What if I’m pregnant? I mean, what do we do?”
“Get married? Buy a house. Have a family. Live happily ever after?”
“Why is everything so easy for you?”
“With the exception of the physical aspect, which I can’t help with unfortunately, it’s easy because we love each other, we’re both extremely wealthy so we can afford help, and everyone we know is going to be so damn excited. This will be a beautiful thing if you’re pregnant. And if you’re not, I think we should start trying as soon as we’re married because you are in between projects.”
“Are we getting married?”
“I hope so. I was planning a big romantic proposal, just as you’ve hinted you want, but if you’re pregnant, I think we should do it immediately to avoid negativity from the press.”
“Okay, one thing at a time.” I shifted against him. “Tomorrow, we take a test or five. Then we’ll talk about the rest.”
“Deal.” He kissed the top of my head. “Don’t worry, baby. Remember, I’ll never let you fall.”
“I’m starting to believe it.”
Positive.
I was kind of pissed and a little excited and incredibly scared. A baby was nowhere on my radar and this was the epitome of unplanned pregnancies. How stupid had we been? I wouldn’t say that out loud, of course, because Erik was going to be stupidly happy, but I honestly hadn’t thought I would get pregnant from one moment of drunken weakness. I knew it was possible, of course, but Nick and I had a condom malfunction once and I’d been fine. This was unexpected and a lot scarier for me than Erik. He’d acknowledged the physical part would be harder on me than him, of course, but that was only half the problem. Could I be a rock star with a baby? How would that work? Jade had a daughter, but it felt different somehow. Maybe because Erik was a prince. I didn’t know what was going on in my head and it was confusing.
I flushed the toilet, washed my hands, and took my time coming out of the bathroom. I’d wanted to find out alone because I’d been afraid Erik would see the disappointment on my face and I didn’t want him to know how scared I was. I wasn’t sure why, because I trusted him implicitly, but it was something I needed to come to terms with on my own. He would be there for me, I had no doubt about that, but wrapping my head around it was another thing altogether.
He was sipping coffee on the patio when I came out and he simply held out his arms. Damn him, he knew me too well.
I climbed onto his lap and rested my head on his shoulder. “We’re pregnant,” I whispered.
“Are you okay?”
“No. I’m fucking terrified.”
“I know. It’s going to be okay though. You know I’m here and not going anywhere.”
“I know.”
“Our parents are going to be thrilled.”
“We can’t tell anyone until we’re married.”
“Then let’s start planning a wedding.”
“Okay.” I was still a little shell-shocked, so it was hard to muster up enthusiasm for much of anything.
“Hey.” He lifted my chin. “Tell me what I can do to make this better for you?”
“I don’t know.” Uh-oh, tears were threatening again, and I buried my face in his neck as they leaked out and trailed down my cheeks.
“It’s okay.” He held me, whispering sweet things in my ear as I got all the tears and frustration and insecurity out of my system.
After a few minutes, I sat up and wiped my face, exhausted.
“I’m going to make an appointment with my ob-gyn,” I said, slowly getting to my feet. “Let’s not tell anyone until I’ve seen her, okay?”
“Okay.”
“You’ll come with me?”
“Of course. I told you—I’m not going anywhere.”
“Would you mind terribly if I went to my mom’s today? I haven’t seen much of her, and I really need to talk to her about all this.”
“We’re not Siamese twins,” he said softly. “You’re allowed to go places without me.”
“I haven’t really been without you in…more than a month?” I was surprised when I realized just how much time we’d spent together. “Being together is really easy.”
“It is.” He squeezed my hand. “Do what you need to do. I’m going to spend some time with my dad catching up on everything I’ve missed since we went into hiding in Crete.”
The minute I saw my mom, I burst into tears all over again. As if she knew what was going on, she hugged me tightly until I could breathe again, gently stroking my hair without asking questions or saying much of anything at all. It felt good to be here in the house I’d grown up in, and though my emotions were all over the place lately, hugging my mom gave me a sense of calm again.
“Are you hungry?” she asked when I finally pulled away.
“I could eat,” I admitted, sinking into a chair at the kitchen table. “Where’s Dad?”
“At the studio overseeing construction.”
“Okay.”
“Did you and Erik have a fight?” she asked, pulling eggs out of the refrigerator. Since scrambled eggs with cheese was one of my favorite meals, she made it without even asking.
“I’m pregnant,” I said.
She glanced over at me with a soft smile. “That makes me happy, but I’m guessing you not so much?”
“It’s so soon! We just got together after all these years of wanting each other from a distance and now we’re going to rush through everything. Engagement, wedding, buying a house, starting a family. Zero to sixty in about six weeks.”
“Well, sometimes that’s what happens. You love him, don’t you?”
“I do. I really, really do.”
“Then take a deep breath and think about all the wonderful things to come. You’re going to marry this incredible man who adores you, have a beautiful baby, and then in a year or two, you’ll go back to music. Deep down, that’s your biggest fear, right? That you won’t ever go back to music?”
I sighed. This was why I needed my mom. “Yeah.”
“Erik isn’t going to try to change you,” she said. “That’s not who he is.”
“I know. I guess I’m worried about everything. My career, gaining weight, losing myself… You know what I mean?”
“I do. But with Erik at your side, you can do anything. Trust me, when you meet the right man, you become a team that can’t be stopped. Just like your dad and me. Like Ben and Kari.”
“You weren’t pregnant when you got married.”
“No, but Kari was.”
“She was?”
Why hadn’t I known that?
“They don’t talk about it because they’re still a tiny bit old-school, but yes, she was. I wasn’t, because your dad and I didn’t want kids. You were an accident. A happy one that became one of the best things that ever happened to us, but an accident nonetheless.”
“You didn’t want kids?”
I hadn’t known that either.
“No. We were selfish, and you know neither of us had very good home lives growing up, so we thought we might not be equipped to be good parents.”
“You were wrong about that.”
She smiled as she set a plate in front of me. “I think we did okay. You’re a pretty great kid.”
I smiled back, and we were quiet as I ate. Being home was always my safe place, my happy place. I loved touring the world, but this was where I decompressed and regenerated. Even my condo, though I loved it, didn’t relax me the way my parents’ house did. I still had a room here and spent the night every so often because it was fun to come home. I wasn’t sure if that was a testament to my relationship with my parents or merely that I wasn’t ready to adult, but either way I was happy to be home.
“So, what’s next?” My mom was asking as she put my plate and utensils in the dishwasher.
“I’m guessing you and Aunt Kari are going to plan a stupidly expensive and over-the-top wedding.”
