She rocks her sweet pussy against me, sliding that little clit over my cockhead.

  “You’re already wet.”

  “You’re so sexy, it’s hard not to be.”

  “Slide down my cock. I want you to ride me.”

  She lifts onto her knees and reaches between her thighs. After lining me up, she lowers herself down.

  I watch her pussy swallow my dick. I groan at the slick slide of her, the warm tightness gripping me.

  “So hot and tight. You’re fucking dripping on my balls.”

  “You have a filthy mouth,” she says with a naughty little grin.

  “You like my dirty mouth?”

  “I really, really do.”

  I pull her to me and kiss her, our tongues duel as she rocks her body on me. I grip her hips and slam her down. She rises on her knees, and I pull her back down. We work in tandem, our eyes locked on each other.

  “Yes,” she moans. “That feels good. You feel good.”

  “So good,” I echo. I reach between our bodies and press my thumb to the side of her clit so with every movement she gets that friction she so desperately needs.

  “Bram.”

  “That’s it, Spicy. I want you to come all over my cock. Squeeze me with that tight little pussy of yours.”

  “I’m almost there. So close.” Her eyes widen and then she explodes around me. The contractions pulse and squeeze my dick, milking me dry of my own climax.

  She collapses against my chest, her nose nuzzled into my throat.

  Nothing feels wrong about this moment. In fact, it feels entirely too right.

  chapter

  fourteen

  Bram

  I wake up out in my workshop. It takes me a minute to orient myself. Then I’m looking around, searching for any sign of Emma, but I don’t see anything. Her bag is gone from the desk.

  I quickly dress, throwing my jeans on, and step outside. Her car is gone.

  I blow out a breath. Disappointment rises in my throat like bile, but I swallow it down. This was the agreement. She wasn’t proposing more than blowing off steam. So that’s what we did.

  I half expected to wake up feeling back to normal. No longer obsessed with a woman barely older than my oldest kid. I grab the rest of my clothes and shoes and head to the house to take a shower. Fifteen minutes later I’ve washed Emma’s scent off of me and dressed in my rubber duck boxers and a new pair of jeans.

  I stand in front of my mirror and stare at the map on my chest. It was originally meant to be a tattoo of remembrance for my Lisa. A way to honor her. God, she loved reading. Used to lay up in the bed next to me and read aloud to me. She got me hooked on all those fantasy series.

  The truth is, though, that I got the first tattoo out of guilt. Once upon a time I had big dreams of traveling all over the world. Not because I was tired of Saddle Creek. No, I knew this little piece of the hill country would always be home base for me. I wanted to travel to Greece and Rome and Austria. Anywhere really. Somewhere with different cultures, different foods and languages.

  But then Lisa got pregnant with Grady and instead of traveling after high school graduation, I became a husband. Then not too long after that, a father.

  I regret nothing. Lisa and I were happy. Our kids are amazing.

  “Whoa, Dad, did you get in a fight with a wildcat?” Grady asks from behind me.

  I meet his gaze in the reflection of the mirror and see it clearly when the obvious truth dawns on him.

  “Oh shit. You had sex! The good back-scratching kind.”

  I wait for the disappointment, the judgment, to fall like the weight of an anvil. But it doesn’t come. Instead, my oldest son turns me to face him and gives me a bear hug.

  “It’s about fucking time.” He pats me on the back and when I wince, he laughs. “Want to tell me about her?” He steps away.

  “You’re not mad?”

  “Mad? Why would I be mad?”

  “Because of your mother.”

  For a second Grady just stares at me. Blank faced. As though he can’t even fathom my words. Then, slowly, he gives his head a shake, looking sad and thoughtful.

  “Who has been gone more than a dozen years now. Dad, if you’ve been holding off on dating on our behalf, stop it. We never expected you to remain alone. Mom wouldn’t have expected it either. She would have wanted you to fall in love again.”

  I shake my head, ignoring the way my eyes sting. “I tried so hard to love her right. Love her enough. I don’t know. I knew I’d always marry her, that she was the one, but I’d wanted things to play out differently.”

  “Because of when she got pregnant with me.”

  I look at my oldest son realizing how what I said must have sounded to him. “Grady, I wouldn’t change a thing. It happened the way it needed to.”

  He swallows thickly. “I know that. Mom knew that too.”

  “Did she?” I ask the question automatically, but immediately regret it.

  Because I don’t talk like this with my kids. I don’t share this kind of thing with anyone, let alone them. It’s my job to reassure them. Not the other way around.

  But Grady seems to know exactly what I meant, even though it’s not a topic I’ve ever broached before.

  “Of course you resented it sometimes. Me. Her. You’d have to be a goddam saint not to have felt that way. Every parent resents their kids at some point.”

  I release a watery laugh. “I don’t think she did.”

  “Bullshit. Mom was no saint. She’d wanted to go to college, remember? She used to talk about that. How she would have gotten her teaching certificate?”

  “Yeah, I remember.”

  “If she mentioned that when I was old enough to remember, there’s no way it didn’t come with resentment towards me and the rest of us kids. You think I haven’t resented the shit out of Taylor occasionally? Because I have.

  “So many damn times. That kid is my life now. Well, her and Jess. Resenting her doesn’t mean she’s not the path I would have chosen over and over. Life is all about making choices. You chose the life you lead. When mom died, you chose to dedicate yourself to raising us kids. You were at every game, every performance, every parent/teacher meeting. You were both mom and dad for us.

  “Raising us the way you did was a testament to how much you loved mom. She knew that. We all did.”

  I nod. “You remember how she used to talk about a soul whisper?”

  Grady smiles fondly. “Yeah. It was her term for soulmates, right?”

  “I suppose. But she always said it about a heart finding its other half. Only two halves make a whole. That’s a mathematical equation. I don’t know how to reconcile any of this with the way I’m feeling about Emma.”

  “So more than dirty, back-scratching sex?” he asks, then shudders. “I’m gonna need to bleach my brain after this conversation.”

  “Yeah. Much more.”

  “Okay, then, forget about math. Mom’s theory isn’t a scientific fact. It’s not something physicists are discussing. Who’s not to say that when she died, she took her half of your heart, leaving you with a big ass hole?”

  “I suppose you could be right,” I admit. “All I know for sure is that the moment I laid eyes on this woman, something inside me shifted. I thought maybe it was just the fifteen years of celibacy.” I shake my head. “Now, I’m not so sure. She’s this brilliant light, daring to shine brighter than anyone else in the room. Daring everyone to look at her. She’s magnetic, intoxicating.” I glance at Grady. “I sound like an idiot, don’t I?”

  “Not at all. The first moment I saw Jess it felt like the tectonic plates had moved, that the Earth was reorienting itself into a new configuration. I didn’t even know her name at the time. Sometimes that’s just the way it happens.”

  “With your mother, we’d known each other since we were children. She grew up before my eyes and all my boyish affection for her turned to teenage lust. Then we got married and started our family, and grown-up love filled us up. That’s the only way I know how to fall in love.”

  I don’t say anything else on the subject, partly because I’m not going to discuss my sex life with my son and partly because I just don’t know how to put it into words.

  Sex with Lisa was good, I’m not saying it wasn’t. But the intimacy built slowly over time. It took me years to learn her body. And it was always colored by our friendship and the pureness of our young love. It was sweet and reverent.

  This thing with Emma is completely different. Carnal and desperate. Primitive in a way I didn’t know I had the capacity to feel. Insatiable.

  It’s a good thing that Grady seems to support the idea of me being in a relationship with Emma, because I don’t know that I could stop now even if he and the rest of the kids didn’t approve.

  Still, I owe it to them and to her to make sure they’re all on board with the idea.

  “Call your siblings here. We need a family meeting. I’ll finish getting dressed.”

  Half an hour later, my kids are gathered around the old breakfast nook table watching me pace the length of the galley kitchen.

  “Uh, Daddy, is everything okay?” Daphne asks.

  I brace my hands on my hips and look at all of their faces. “How would y’all feel if I started dating?”

  “About fucking time,” Dane mutters.

  “It would be so great. You deserve that,” Daphne says.

  “Absolutely, Dad,” Garrett says. “No one deserves happiness more than you.”

  I stare at them in awe. I’m not exactly sure how I thought this moment would go. Mostly because I never thought this moment would come. I didn’t expect to fall for another woman.

  I open my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out.

  “Did you meet someone?” Dane asks.

  I scrub at the back of my neck.

  “That’s one way to put it,” Grady mutters under his breath.

  I roll my eyes, not sure how I feel about my adult children giving me shit about my sex life. Because I might actually have one. A sex life, that is. A relationship. Dare I say it, a second chance.

  “What does that mean?” Garrett asks.

  “You should see the claw marks on his back.”

  “Get it, Dad,” Dane says.

  “Eww, please don’t,” Daphne pleads. “I want you to be happy, Daddy, but I don’t ever need to know that there are bedroom activities.”

  “We never even made it to the bedroom,” I say, then laugh when she shakes her head and covers her ears.

  “On more than one occasion, we discussed it,” Garrett says. “You remarrying. I don’t remember any of us hoping that would never happen. Dad, we want you to be happy. We know how much you sacrificed raising the four of us. You and mom were a great example of a good marriage. I hope Felicity and I will be just as happy.”

  “Women have been talking about you and how hot you are since I was a kid,” Dane says. “It’s damn disturbing.”

  “You’ve got the biggest heart of anyone I know,” Daphne says. “It would be a tragedy for you to never love again.”

  I grip the back of the chair. “I love y’all,” I say, my voice thick with emotion.

  “We love you too,” Grady says. “And I told you they’d be on board.”

  I nod, then step away. “Her name is Emma and I hope to introduce you to her soon. But I have some groveling to do before that happens.”

  chapter

  fifteen

  Emma

  Luna picks up on the second ring. “Hey babe, what’s up?”

  “Can you come over?” I know she can likely hear the tears in my voice, but I don’t care. Right now I need someone, and frankly, she’s the only person I have. My closest friend.

  “Of course. I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

  “Thanks.”

  Seven minutes later, there’s a knock on my door, and I open it to find Luna with an armload of Blue Bell ice cream. A variety of pints.

  “I didn’t know what kind you liked, so I brought options.”

  “Thanks. I might take you up on that. I just need to talk to someone.”

  “Of course.” Her voice is gentle. She marches into my kitchen and stashes the ice cream in the freezer before coming back out.

  I flop on my couch, and she sits next to me. “What’s happened?”

  I hide my face in my hands. “I slept with Bram.”

  “I knew it!” she yells. “Y’all have off the charts chemistry. Seriously hot.”

  “Yeah. We were definitely hot together,” I say.

  “But something happened afterwards?”

  “Yes. No, not really. More or less before. When he told me he had nothing to offer me.”

  “Ouch. So, a one and done kind of situation?”

  I lift a shoulder in a shrug. “I guess that’s what he meant. And at the time I wasn’t expecting anything more. Sheesh that was only a few hours ago.”

  Luna squeezes my knee. “But you really like him?”

  “I really, really do. It just feels like more. I don’t know how to explain it. When I’m with him, it’s like everything around me stills and I feel calm and settled. I’ve never had that feeling. Alone, or with another person.”

  “I get it, babe. It’s how I feel when I’m with Mason. Frankly, all it takes is the sound of his voice. I think that’s how it happens sometimes.”

  “Well, it really sucks that it happened to me, but it’s one-sided.”

  “We don’t know that yet,” Luna says.

  “I’m pretty sure we do. I mean I get it; I can’t compete with the memory of his first wife. She gave him four kids. I certainly can’t offer the same.”

  Luna already knows about my hysterectomy. It came up last week when she asked if I had any period supplies in my desk. Explaining to someone why you’re a thirty-year-old woman who doesn’t have periods anymore can be tricky. She handled it perfectly though.

  Right now, though, she’s frowning at me. “Did you tell him that? Because I doubt that would be a deal breaker for him.”

  “There’s no deal to be broken. It was just sex. Amazing, sweaty, dirty, ridiculously good sex, but just sex.” I hide my face again. “Dammit, we never even fully discussed the set design. I’m going to have to just let him do it all and be happy with whatever he builds. Because I sure can’t be around him now. It’ll be hard enough to face Taylor knowing that I’ve seen her Pops naked.”

  Luna giggles.

  “It’s not funny.”

  “It kinda is though. Not your sadness, obviously. Just in the awkward, sleeping-with-a-students-grandparent-kind-of-way.”

  That makes me giggle. “I mean that can’t happen very often. Maybe a student’s parent, but grandparent.”

  “Most grandparents don’t look like him.”

  “Damn straight. I swear my grandma looked eighty years old my entire life, until she died. Of course that was probably from her meanness. People who scowl so much get cursed with wrinkles.”

  “As they should,” Luna says. “I know you didn’t actually ask for my advice, but I’m gonna give you some anyways. Be patient with him. I don’t think this is over between the two of you. Call it a gut feeling. I mean as far as I know, he’s never so much as gone on a date since his wife died. This is probably new for him too.”

  I want to believe in her gut feeling, but I’m a realist. That’s not how my life tends to work out.

  “How about some ice cream and funny cat videos?” Luna suggests.

  “Sounds perfect.” I’ll allow myself the rest of today to be sad about Bram. Then tomorrow I need to put on my sassy pants and focus on my kids and my job.

  chapter

  sixteen

  Bram

  I try to convince myself I need to wait until tomorrow. Give her time to rest or whatever. But the truth is, I need to see her now. It’s easy enough to find the address of the bungalow she’s renting.

  The looks I got at the grocery store for buying a bouquet of flowers will definitely get the rumor mill churning. I won’t be surprised if there’s news about it in the Saddle Peek.

  I don’t care though.

  Realizing that I can’t walk away from Emma—accepting that—has calmed me. I’m filled with resolve and purpose in a way I haven’t been in a very long time.

  I’ve already done marriage. I already know relationships are hard work. Work that you commit to on a daily basis no matter how you feel. So there’s none of the ‘what ifs’ thoughts swimming through my brain.

  I don’t know where her feelings are, so that’s up in the air. But if she’ll have me, I’m hers.

  I knock on her door, and she answers it by poking her head around the side. She gasps when she sees me.

  I hold up the flowers—a clump of Texas’s most beautiful wildflowers that bloom so freely this time of year. “Can I come in?”

  “Oh, right.” She opens the door, still hiding her body behind it. When it closes behind me, I see why.

  She’s still wearing my shirt. Or maybe wearing it again.

  Hope surges through me. “I’m gonna put these in some water,” I say.

  “Kitchen is this way,” she says.

  I stare at the curve of her hips and things peeking out from beneath the hemline of the t-shirt.

  She hands me a tall glass. “Want something to drink? I have sodas and water.”

  “I’m good, darlin.” I fill the glass with water from her tap, then arrange the bouquet inside. Then I set it on her small dinette set against the bay window. I turn back to face her. “I figured we should probably talk.”

  Her eyes are wide and she nods. “Sure. Come sit down.”

  I follow her to her sofa and we sit. I angle my body sideways so I’m facing her.

  “Look, Bram, before you say anything, I want you to know that you don’t owe me anything. I don’t need a further explanation of a one-night stand. I get it.”

  “You got it all wrong, Emma.”

  “So what? You came here to say you want to have an affair? Friends with benefits kind of situation?”

  “Fuck no. I came here to say that I can’t walk away from you, and I was a moron to think that I could. There’s something big between us, Spicy; I know you feel it too. Sex like that doesn’t happen without an emotional connection.”

 

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