Specters & Sparks, page 5
“None of that sounds like anyone else’s business,” Owen observed but the cocky smirk was gone and he was disappointed. The easy looseness had vanished too and Owen was tense as he raised his hands. “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him date a gorgeous, funny, smart guy who can cook, I guess.”
“Owen.”
“It’s fine. It’s not like this hasn’t happened to me before.” Owen flashed him a wide, too-bright smile but there was a shimmer in his eyes that made Fox’s stomach sink.
“Hey, it’s just—”
“Stop.” Owen held up a hand and widened his eyes at Fox. “All that matters here is that you’re not interested. I shouldn’t have pushed when you said no.”
“But I am I just—” This time, it shocked Fox when Owen cut him off. The smile was gone and Owen was done being brave.
“I’m asking you to stop. I’d like us to go back to the way we were before, if that’s alright with you,” he said quietly. Fox nodded and had to blink back tears as his vision blurred. He wanted to go back—to just a few minutes earlier—so he could kiss Owen and worship his body but Fox had to do the right thing. He had to. Or else he would have already had Owen. Over and over again.
“You dry,” Fox said hoarsely and fed the sprayer’s hose back into the neck of the faucet.
“I can do that,” Owen replied and reached for a clean towel from the stack. “But I can’t eat anymore of your disgusting chili mac.”
“I won’t make you eat it again,” Fox sighed but his lips kicked up at the corner.
“Where do you even find beans that big and what spice is it that you use that makes it taste like pickles but in the gross way?” Owen asked.
“You don’t have to be hateful,” Fox scolded as he handed Owen the other plate. “Maybe tarragon?” He guessed and Owen’s brow furrowed.
“Why would you even…?”
“I don’t know. I’m not even sure what tarragon is for but it sounded a little like oregano so I thought they were interchangeable.”
“No. They’re not and can’t you taste the difference?” Owen asked and Fox’s nose wrinkled.
“I don’t think I can…” He admitted. “I used to shovel field chow into my mouth while it was still hot so I wouldn’t have to taste it. I think I burned most of my taste buds off.”
“So… Whenever you say I’m an amazing cook you’re lying?” Owen said but Fox shook his head.
“No. I can tell you’re an amazing cook.”
“How can you tell if you can’t taste anything.”
“I can taste some things.” I’d be able to taste you. Fox gave his head another quick shake. “But it doesn’t matter. Everyone says you’re a great cook and I haven’t gotten sick yet.”
“That’s a low bar,” Owen said and Fox hissed.
“Actually, it’s not even a bar. I’ve eaten some really scary things and I have no idea how many times I’ve had food poisoning.”
“What?” Owen demanded and his head pushed forward as his eyes drilled into Fox’s. “Why were you eating scary food?”
“It was part of the job,” Fox said and shrugged it off while he washed their silverware. “If you want to build rapport with someone and gain their trust, you share a meal with them. And in some countries, you absolutely cannot turn down food if it’s offered to you. It’s not just rude, it’s a tremendous faux pas. So, sometimes you eat some meat that’s been cooked in a hole in the ground or has been impaled on a stick and fried in an old oil drum. Sometimes, it still has a tail or its teeth but that could be more food than your host usually eats in a week so you smile and finish everything on your plate. But honestly, the worst food I’ve ever eaten was in an Army dining facility here in the States,” Fox confided in a whisper. Owen laughed and shook his head in disbelief as he finished drying their glasses. It felt better and almost normal as Owen wiped the water drops off the counter and folded the towel.
“Nice to know I could serve you anything and you’d say it was great.”
“Because it would be great. Everything you do impresses me because you’re brilliant,” Fox said. This time, he pointed and stopped Owen before he could argue. “I could taste the spaghetti sauce enough to know that it was too damn hot for spaghetti sauce and I could still smell the garlic and whatever herbs you put in it. Dill?” He guessed and a loud laugh burst from Owen.
“You really will throw anything together.”
“I had to fend for myself when I was a kid and I wasn’t allowed to make anything but cereal. After that, the Army took care of my meals,” Fox explained and Owen looked sad again.
“I’ll handle the cooking and we can have sandwiches when it’s your night,” he said. He gave Fox’s shoulder a gentle punch and he nodded.
“I can make a mean sandwich.”
“You make killer sandwiches.”
“Really?” Fox said and Owen hummed.
“Sure. I was particularly impressed with the way you put the slices of cheese in between the slices of bread. And the way you spread butter on the outsides of those slices before you toasted them in the skillet, inspired.”
“Thanks. I watched a few videos on YouTube and practiced while you were at work,” Fox said and Owen’s face fell.
“Oh. You’re being serious. I can’t tease you anymore. Good for you for teaching yourself that,” he said. Fox chuckled and waved it off as he turned and rested his hip against the edge of the sink.
“I knew you liked grilled cheeses and I figured I couldn’t mess them up as long as I didn’t burn them. And it seems like something Juniper would like and I want to impress her.”
“You’re killing me, Fox,” Owen ground out as he rubbed between his brows. “But let’s think… We’ll start with pancakes and you should learn a few cookie recipes,” he said, then held up a finger as he hurried around the island. Owen didn’t seem to notice that his shirt and his hair were still wet. He didn’t seem to care that his shirt was clinging to his chest and stomach or that it was practically transparent as he grabbed the notepad and a pen. He planted his left hand on the countertop and chewed on the end of the pen as he planned and Fox loved Owen so much, it hurt. “Basic tacos. All kids love basic tacos. And I’ll teach you how to make some safe spaghetti. Most kids like spaghetti as long as you keep it simple and let them cover it in cheese.”
“Owen,” Fox said but Owen made a vague sound as he scribbled. Can I kiss you now? I take back everything I said.
“We’re going to work our way up to mac and cheese. I already know Juniper loves mac and cheese. I can feel it in my bones,” Owen said under his breath and nodded at his list. “You can’t mess up fried rice.”
“I have seen Juniper eat rice. We got takeout together once and Jules let her eat rice with her fingers,” Fox recalled. Owen looked up from his notepad and smiled.
“That’s good for practicing her pincer grasp,” he said. Fox raised a brow back at Owen and shook his head.
“Pincer grasp?” He asked and Owen held up a hand and pinched his thumb and forefinger together.
“It’s a fine-motor milestone in babies and you’re supposed to help them practice by giving them little foods like cereals and rice,” Owen explained.
“I didn’t know that.” Fox grimaced and wondered if he should have known that.
“I read it in a book. I can get it for you,” Owen offered and pointed across the kitchen at his room.
“You read it in a book?” Fox wondered if he was being tested and why anyone would be that cruel. He wanted so desperately to pull Owen into his arms and kiss him senseless. And Fox felt like a fool. Why wasn’t he worrying about milestones and learning how to help Juniper practice?
“I want to be able to help when Juniper gets here but I can’t remember a lot about Jolie at that age so I’ve been doing some reading,” Owen said and went back to his list. Kiss him now! Fox could see himself doing it but his ankles remained crossed and he kept his arms folded over his chest. Owen made a thoughtful sound and tossed the pen on the island. “I’m going to take a shower and turn in early but I’ll keep working on that. We’ll get started on my next day off,” he said then offered Fox a salute as he headed for his room on the other side of the kitchen.
“Goodnight, Owen.”
“Night, Fox,” Owen replied. Fox waited until the door shut behind Owen.
“I love you,” Fox said softly and finally uncrossed his ankles. He pushed away from the sink, noting that his feet finally worked as they carried him to his room. “Because I’m a coward.”
Chapter 8
“I wouldn’t think twice if I were just ten years younger and didn’t have so much baggage.”
Seriously? What was Owen supposed to do about that? He couldn’t turn back time and make Fox ten years younger and he couldn’t undo any of the past. I can help him get ready for Juniper and show him that I’m not afraid of whatever baggage he’s carrying.
If Owen wasn’t afraid of scaring Fox, he would have said that he fell in love with Juniper as soon as he heard her name. She had to be adorable with a name like Juniper Rose, right? And he was right! She was 100% pure adorable from the photos and short videos Owen had seen. He demanded that Fox hang up as many pictures of Juniper as he wanted in the loft. Partly out of curiosity, but Owen wanted Fox to make the loft his home too. He was a little shocked at first, but Owen became more and more excited about Juniper, the more he learned about her from Fox.
And Owen learned that he had a weakness for doting, insecure, fumbling fathers. Fox would gush over a new picture of Juniper or share a joke she’d made up during one of their video calls and it was an aphrodisiac! He almost ripped Fox’s shirt off after he asked for Owen’s opinion regarding a toddler bed versus a regular bed for Juniper. Fox confided that he was secretly hoping she’d be old enough for a bunk bed and Owen just about bit off the tip of his tongue. Owen found himself peeking at kids' furniture online. He might have already picked out a whole room for Juniper from IKEA…
The situation with Jules was interesting and also incredibly sexy. Owen occasionally overheard their calls and Jules was in several photos around the kitchen and the living room. It was obvious that they loved each other very much but it was a deeply platonic love and Fox only wanted what was best for Jules. She was an experienced and highly competent agent, from everything Fox had shared, and Jules was laser-focused on her career. Neither had any romantic interest in each other and Fox said that Jules was always adamant that marriage and motherhood were never on her radar. They were simply very good friends who had a child together because they occasionally had sex with each other. Fox made it very, very clear to everyone—because she would be visiting Bisbee in the not so distant future—that Jules had his complete support in everything that she did. He wouldn’t let anyone villainize her for picking her career over motherhood.
“That was never her plan. I’m lucky and grateful to Jules for putting her life on hold at forty so I could have Juniper.”
Owen took that as a sign. Jules helped Fox start his family and it was up to Owen to help him complete it. He asked how Jules and Juniper would cope with being separated but Fox wasn’t too concerned. Juniper called her Jules and spent more time with her other caregivers. They had a warm, affectionate relationship but Jules carried herself as more of an aunt than a mother. Fox traveled to Maryland twice a month to see Juniper and spoiled her rotten every chance he could. Juniper called Fox at least twice a day and he got constant updates and pictures from her nannies. They already had a beautiful bond and Jules did whatever she could to encourage that.
Jules had sacrificed a lot to give Fox a daughter and was keeping Juniper safe and happy until he had a home for the two of them. Owen couldn’t let Jules down and he couldn’t wait to teach Juniper how to bake cookies and play basketball. He had to wait twenty years for Lorrie to come home so he could have two dads but Juniper wouldn’t have to wait nearly as long. He’d always loved babies and kids and Owen knew he wanted to have a family one day. He also knew he wouldn’t have the kind of time and energy an infant required. But Juniper was the perfect age and she already looked so much like Fox; Owen didn’t have a choice but to fall in love with her.
It was clearly kismet but Fox was going to throw a wrench in Owen’s beautiful plan. Fox was looking at real estate listings on his laptop. Owen saw the screen over Fox’s shoulder while he was sitting on the sofa. He realized Owen was standing behind him and looked guilty as he shut it and mumbled about things he couldn’t put off much longer. Owen also overheard Fox on the phone with his accountant. They were discussing Fox’s budget and recent changes to his portfolio to accommodate a large purchase. Owen wanted to snatch the phone from Fox and order the accountant to talk some sense into his client. Bisbee was an amazing place to live but why would anyone pay $350,000 to live in one of the 1,200 foot, two bedroom shoeboxes that were available around town. Most of the houses were formerly miner’s cabins that had been haphazardly scattered throughout the canyon during the Queen Mine’s heyday. Many had been remodeled and flipped several times in the last hundred years but construction standards were lacking so real estate was an even bigger gamble in Bisbee.
Owen was blessed because Cace bought the third floor of the old post office building when he helped the town repair the roof and damage to the public library on the second floor. Cace put the loft space in Owen’s name so he’d always have a home in Bisbee. He only charged Fox $500 a month for rent and utilities but Owen still felt guilty since he didn’t have a mortgage payment and $500 covered most of the bills. Owen tried to knock the price down a few times but Fox wouldn’t hear of it. So, Owen deposited each of the rent checks into his “Fox Fund” and would use the money to buy Fox’s wedding ring, put it towards their honeymoon, or a trip to Disneyland with Juniper.
But wedding rings and Disneyland with Juniper were in jeopardy if Fox moved out. Owen was so ready to turn the other bedroom into the perfect room for a princess but he couldn’t get Fox to see the obvious solution. He’d even brought up outlet covers and safety locks for the cabinets in the loft but Fox just laughed it off. “I would never ask you to turn your life upside down for us,” he said, making Owen want to rip his ears off and throw them at Fox. “But I want to!” Owen almost yelled. Instead, he smiled and told Fox he didn’t mind and was just happy to help.
He didn’t tell Fox about the full-sized bed with the pink upholstered headboard that would be perfect for snuggly bedtime stories. And it would be comfortable for Jules, when she came to visit. Owen couldn’t wait to meet Fox’s badass special agent best friend. He often made himself nervous, worrying about whether Jules would approve of him but told himself she had to be cool if Fox loved her.
All Owen had to do was convince Fox to give him a chance. And get through to his dad. Lorrie, Baxter and Beau would probably back off if Cace gave his blessing. Which had the possibility of being an even bigger challenge than getting Fox to admit he was in love with him.
Whenever Owen was frustrated with his dad he reminded himself of how hard and lonely it had been for Cace. He scraped out every bit of energy he had to give Owen a full and happy childhood because Jake was shallow and immature. He had no interest in being a father and it became obvious to Owen at an early age that Jake was using him to manipulate Cace. Owen refused to play along with Jake’s games and the two barely talked. They parted ways when Owen wouldn’t lie and say he wanted to go to Scottsdale to spend Christmas with Jake’s parents. It was just before Owen’s eighth birthday and Jake became more of a petulant older brother than a father after that. Jake blamed it on Owen and claimed that was also the reason their marriage was failing so Cace told him to leave.
That wasn’t going to happen to Owen because he knew what love looked like when it was right. He saw how much loving Jake drained Cace and he saw how his father lit up whenever Lorrie walked into the room. Fox was the right man and he made Owen feel hot and like he was floating at the same time. They’d been living together for a little more than five months but they felt like best friends after the second day. The only downside to living with Fox was his cooking but Owen could grin and bear it a few times a week. And he’d have plenty of time to teach Fox how to cook.
“Lasagna!” Owen nodded and made a note to add it to the list. It required some assembly but Fox could definitely manage that as long as he started with a decent sauce. Lasagna was usually kid-friendly and Owen heard Jules say that Juniper wasn’t a picky eater. Owen also made a note to set aside a weekend to make a big batch of marinara sauce to keep in the pantry that was safe for Juniper. Maybe Fox would take that as a hint and have sex with Owen in the kitchen. Owen would have to hurry; Fox planned to bring Juniper home in May.
“We’re getting low on caramel, if you’re done thinking about dinner.” Cace gave Owen a playful jab with his elbow. “Need another break?” He asked but Owen shook his head as he went to the kitchen to get the caramel syrup. He tossed the empty bottle in the sink and grabbed a new bottle off the shelf by the back door and screwed on a clean cap.
“Little kids like lasagna, right?” Owen asked and watched Cace closely. His father’s eyes tightened and he made a concerned sound.
“Sure. You and Jolie loved lasagna,” he said and rested his hip against the counter. “You’re planning meals for a kid?”
“So are you and Lorrie. I heard you and Fox talking. You’re building a pizza oven in the backyard so she can make pizzas with smiley faces,” Owen recalled.
“You know how much Lorrie loves kids and we’re at that age,” Cace said with a vague shrug.
“That age?” Owen challenged and his brows jumped, daring Cace. He snorted and refused to answer so Owen hummed knowingly. “The age where you want grandkids to spoil and buy ridiculous presents for?”
“We’re not that old and it’s not your job to make up for our mistakes,” Cace said. That was it right there. Owen couldn’t be mad at his dad for panicking and meddling. A child could tie them together—for better or for worse—or cause Owen terrible heartache if things didn’t work out and Fox and Juniper left.
