Specters & Sparks, page 19
Chapter 32
“I’m really sorry about Naima,” Owen said loudly. The wind slapped at their cheeks and Owen shoved his hands deep into his pockets to hide them from the stinging cold. Sükan was behind him and had the muzzle of his gun pressed against Owen’s temple.
“I appreciate that and you seem like a genuinely good person but an eye for an eye, you know? She was a doctor and we met while I was debriefing patients in a refugee camp. It would have seemed like a hollow sacrifice if you were...a douchebag,” Sükan said. He reminded Owen of a swarthier Sam Elliot and he was having a hard time hating the guy. Sükan had made some bad choices but Owen had a feeling that Naima was a beautiful woman and they’d been deeply in love.
“If it helps, I don’t think Fox wanted to turn you in,” Owen said.
He’d tried to make small talk as he was let out of the back of Sükan’s delivery van at the RV park. There were no other RVs, aside from a Jayco pop up camper that Owen assumed was Sükan’s. Sükan held the gun on Owen as they climbed the fence and slid and scrambled down the steep sloped sides of the quarry, into the Lavender Pit.
Owen had never been this close to the pit and he was terrified as he stood at the lip of the massive man-made canyon. He used to marvel at the soft purple and pink hues but all he could comprehend was the howling of the wind as it snapped at his hair and how dizzy he was as the pit yawned at his shoulder. The width and depth of the pit stretched and pulled at Owen’s conscience like an eerie carnival house mirror and he jerked as if he’d heard a siren’s song, calling him closer. Owen couldn’t pull his eyes from the edge until he saw Fox as he hopped over the fence behind the RV park.
Go back!
He wanted to order Fox to leave and think about Juniper but Owen was paralyzed. The muzzle of Sükan’s pistol was pressed against his temple and Owen heard the echo of Sükan’s promise to pull the trigger if he so much as moved.
Owen couldn’t utter a word as Fox competently slid down the side of the embankment above them and brushed the dirt from his hands. He had to tell Fox one last time, before it was too late, so Owen held still and focused on Sükan and the gun against his head. As long as it stayed there until Owen could tell Fox…
“What would she say?” Owen asked simply. He couldn’t imagine that this would make sense to a doctor and a humanitarian.
“She’d be horrified but she isn’t here now, is she?” Sükan said sadly but the muzzle remained hard against Owen’s skin. “She can’t save anyone because she was beheaded, Owen. I saw the video and I want Fox to watch so he knows what it’s like to see the love of his life die. I used to admire him and I looked up to him. It seems fitting that we should share this. Full circle, I think you call it.”
“I get it.” Owen didn’t think Sükan would shoot Fox until he had a chance to tell him about Naima. It would be pointless if Fox didn’t know why. “Too bad we couldn’t have discussed this over a cup of coffee.”
“Coffee won’t bring her back. I truly don’t care what happens after this. All I want is to see Fox lose what I’ve lost. I don’t care if I die and he lives forever. I just need him to lose what I’ve lost and feel this pain.”
“I’m so sorry.” Owen truly meant it. What would he do if someone took Fox from him? He considered himself fairly aware of history and politics but Owen knew he was so far out of his depth and that there were cultural and spiritual influences at play that he couldn’t comprehend.
“Do you know what it’s like to love someone who’s forbidden? I was a Turkish intelligence officer and she was an Iraqi doctor.”
“A little…” Owen said but shook his head. Fox was forbidden because he was older and too friendly with his family. The forces that kept Naima and Sükan apart were older and much more volatile. Once again, he was sympathetic toward Sükan and Owen longed for a peaceful resolution. “I know Fox would have done anything he could to help you if you would have trusted him.”
“I didn’t have the luxury and it wouldn’t have made a difference. We’re all cogs in the same terrible machine and all you can do is save the people you love.”
“Then you understand that I have to do what I can to save him,” Owen said as Fox made his way towards them.
“There’s a small part of me that hopes you’re successful.”
“Let him go, Kemal, and I’ll do everything I can to help you,” Fox called over the whistling of the wind.
“There’s only one way you can help me now.”
“What was I supposed to do? I couldn’t pretend I didn’t see you,” Fox demanded, obviously frustrated. He didn’t hide that he was scared and held his shaking hands out as he edged closer.
“That’s why I ran. I knew my luck had finally run out and that I was damned. All I had to do was deliver one last piece of information and I was free and she would have lived but you had to be there.” Sükan laughed in disgust. “You always had to be where the action was because you’re a super secret agent and your ego couldn’t be contained by a classroom or a field office, could it?”
“There’s probably a little truth in that,” Fox conceded slowly. “But I was just doing my job, protecting our allies—including Turkey—from ISIS.”
“And there will be consequences for that too!” Sükan spat. “What would you have done if they had your precious Owen?”
“Precious?” Owen complained then mouthed “I love you” when he had Fox’s attention for a moment.
“Me too, Owen, but we’re going to work this out,” Fox said calmly as his eyes went back to Sükan’s. “Please don’t do this,” he begged.
“What would you have done to save him?” Sükan asked again.
“Anything except betray the soldiers and allies I swore to protect. Owen would never forgive me if I put someone else in harm because of him,” Fox stated and Owen nodded quickly.
“I love you but I’d want you to do the right thing. And save yourself because Juniper needs you,” he added in a rush before Sükan’s hand covered his mouth.
“That’s enough. I’m afraid I have to do this, Chief. I’m tired of living with this pain. It’s your turn now,” Sükan said and the muzzle left Owen’s temple as the gun was aimed over his shoulder at Fox.
“No!” Owen cried as Fox’s hand whipped behind him and back around. He held a pistol in both hands and had it trained on Sükan.
“You’re a good shot but are you that good?” Sükan asked. He was pressed against Owen’s back and the edge was just inches away on their left.
“I’m not,” Fox agreed and lowered his gun. “Just take me instead.” He slowly bent so he could lay it on the ground. Sükan’s pistol followed as it tracked Fox and Owen made his move. He grabbed the arm holding the pistol and pulled it over his shoulder as he pivoted forward. Sükan’s gun went off as he was lifted off his feet. There was an eruption of dust and gravel yards away as Owen attempted to flip him over his shoulder. He was too heavy and Owen heard Sükan shout as they tripped and stumbled over the edge. Owen’s knee hit solid ground but he flailed and clawed at dirt and gravel as he fell with Sükan. “Owen!” Fox cried as his hand snatched Owen’s wrist. Owen grabbed Fox’s other hand and gasped at the weight pulling on his foot. He risked a look down and Sükan had his left ankle. The gun had been dropped as they wrestled but it had landed on a small outcropping a few feet away. Sükan strained to reach for it with his other hand, causing Fox to gasp and he held onto Owen with both hands.
“Leave the gun! Let us help you!” Owen ordered Sükan. He heard footsteps and yelling and Cace was screaming Owen’s name.
“We’ve got you!” Beau yelled from somewhere above them before another hand reached over and grabbed Owen’s upper arm. Owen let go with his right and stretched for Sükan.
“Give me your hand!” Owen screamed but Sükan’s face contorted as he swung to grab the gun.
“You’re slipping!” Fox warned so Owen grabbed his hand again. He saw Sükan swipe the gun out of the corner of his eye and Owen kicked when it swung his way. His right heel smacked Sükan hard on the nose and the weight was suddenly gone. Sükan screamed as he dropped and Owen squeezed his eyes shut as he was pulled up and out.
“Owen!” Cace dragged Owen away from the edge and was crying as he held him tight and rocked him. “I was so scared!”
“Me too, Dad.” Owen was sobbing as he wound his arms around his dad and had to drop to his knees as the adrenaline wore off. “I think I’m going to be sick.”
“You’re alright!” Fox said as he rubbed Owen’s back and waited his turn. “That was… I didn’t know how to stop him and I almost…” Fox threw his arms around Owen and Cace. He was shaking too as he kissed Owen’s hair and cried. “I thought I was going to lose you but you were so brave!”
“Come on. Let’s get him out of here and someplace warm,” Baxter commanded but he didn’t sound as steady as he would have liked as he clapped Fox and Cace on the back.
“I’d really like that,” Owen said as he raised his head to look around and everyone was there. Beau, Russ, Cassius, Lorrie, Hadley, Kieran, Noah, Lyle and Flip had all scrambled over the fence behind the RV park and into the Lavender Pit. They were all shivering but elated as they helped Owen up and crowded in to hug him. “I’ve had enough adventure for one night and I’m ready to go home. Somebody might have to carry me after all. I don’t know if my legs are going to work any time soon.”
Chapter 33
“I’ve decided I like the tent over here better,” Owen said to himself. He nodded decisively at the oversized poofy purple ottoman before he pushed it back under the long window overlooking the post office’s parking lot and the coffee shop. He easily lifted the white tent with the cloud-soft faux fur lining and angled the awkward armful around the bed. Owen set it in the corner and made a contented sound as he leaned back and admired his work. “Much better! Now we can wind fairy lights around the tent since it’s closer to the outlet,” he explained to Fox and went to toss all the animal shaped pillows back inside.
“She’s going to love this. It’s perfect, Owen,” Fox said as he took in the soft blue walls and ceiling that made them disappear and blend in with the sky outside the windows that wrapped around three sides of the room. But it was night and the stars Owen painted on the ceiling were beginning to glow and there were sleepy unicorns and castles on the bedding. Knee-high shelves were filled with books and purple and pink cubes were stuffed with dolls and toys. They went crazy at IKEA and Owen had a blast putting everything together over Zoom with Juniper.
She already loved Owen and he joined them for storytime whenever he was free. Fox gave Juniper a tour of the coffee shop during one of their video calls and she couldn’t wait to see everything for herself. Fox thought he was going to explode, he was so happy, as he went to snag Owen’s hand and tow him from the room.
“I have to leave early to go to the airport and you have to open in the morning,” he reminded Owen as he shut off the light.
“Just two more days and she’ll be here!” Owen said with a happy sigh as he followed Fox out and past the coffee table and the sofa. “Promise you’ll wait to tell her about the puppy?” He asked before his mouth pulled into a yawn. It was almost 11:00 and he’d spent the whole evening putting the finishing touches on the loft and Juniper’s room. They had a round dining table with four chairs because Owen thought the stools at the counter were too high and Juniper had her own snack shelf in the pantry. It was stocked with all her favorite treats and juice boxes. Owen promised that Juniper would need lots of juice boxes so they bought cases of them while they were in the city. There were throw pillows with more unicorns and mermaids and she had a whole shelf of books and board games.
“I promise I’ll wait and we’ll go to the shelter together on your next day off.” Fox found out that Owen had always wanted a dog but he and Cace never had enough time. Fox and Juniper would have plenty of time so they decided their little family would grow just a little bit bigger. “I don’t think I’ve told you how amazing you are,” Fox said and turned Owen at the sofa and steered him around the wall and into the bathroom. Owen laughed softly as he pulled his shirt over his head.
“You tell me all the time but I don’t mind hearing it again.” He let Fox gather his face in his hands and peck tenderly at his lips.
“I dreamt of having a family but I didn’t think I’d have all of this. I don’t know if it’s possible to be too happy but I keep pinching myself because this doesn’t feel real.” He pressed on the corner of Owen’s jaw and lapped at his tongue lazily.
Nothing felt real after Sükan died and they brought Owen home. Owen was adamant that they put it behind them and focus on the future. Nobody blamed Fox but he blamed himself more than enough for everyone. He had lulled himself into being complacent and doubted his own instincts. It almost cost him Owen. Fox was grateful and felt himself getting emotional again as he undressed and helped Owen out of his clothes. Owen confided that his only regret about the whole thing was that they couldn’t save Sükan. He’d cry whenever he spoke of Naima’s death and Sükan’s grief. “It was all so senseless,” Owen said and Fox just hummed in agreement because he didn’t have a better explanation. Everything he did as an agent was to stop more from happening in the hopes that he could save soldiers’ and civilians’ lives and somehow provide a little more stability. He taught because young agents needed a hell of a lot more than a vest and a weapon. They needed wisdom and experience but all they got was a handful of months at the schoolhouse before their boots hit the sand.
Sükan was right in that Fox would never be just Fox and the consequences would follow him everywhere he went. He would always hear the echoes of laughter around a bedouin campfire and the sound of shells exploding a few meters away. They were, to Fox, beautiful consequences to the wild and often reckless life he lived. There was pain and heartbreak but he had faith in the bravery of good people. He’d been in the dark, vicious heart of war and seen the worst that men could do but Fox had also seen loyalty and selflessness turn battles and save countless lives. He understood how much could be lost in an instant but Fox also saw good prevail and believed in the future generation. He did as much as he could to hold the world together but he’d always regret not being able to help Sükan when he found him in Iraq.
He carried those regrets like his old rucksack and packed them away in his psyche’s closet because Fox had given enough and done everything he could. There was too much to live for and there was only so much time. Fox had been given a shot at an amazing life and he wasn’t going to waste it on regrets.
“I can’t wait for you to ask Juniper so we can start planning our wedding.” Fox released Owen’s lips long enough to start the shower and they kissed as they danced under the water.
“I think I’ll wait until just before Christmas. I have something special planned for the three of us and she can help me with the reveal,” Owen mused and laughed deviously when Fox pouted.
“Why won’t you tell me?”
“It’s going to be your Christmas gift and your wedding gift,” Owen said then zipped his lips shut.
“Oh, no. Don’t do that,” Fox said. He pushed his hands down Owen’s back so he could cup the cheeks of his ass and licked along his lips. Owen laughed and threw an arm around Fox’s neck as they kissed under the hot water. They made out as they covered each other in shower gel and washed each other’s hair. Fox dried Owen off and asked about his plans for the weekend.
“I’m going to miss you but I’m having drinks with Flip, Lyle and Russ tomorrow night. I think we’re all having dinner at the Banshee on Saturday and then you and Juniper get home on Sunday.”
“Sounds like a pretty good weekend,” Fox said as he gathered their dirty clothes and tossed them in the hamper. It was a pretty typical weekend, actually, and Fox felt blessed that this was now his life. He could see Juniper fitting in perfectly and she was already so loved, before she’d even set foot in Bisbee. “I’ll miss you too but we’ll only go back once a year, if that. I have a feeling it’ll be easier for Jules to visit Juniper here once we’re all moved in.”
“I can’t wait for Jules to visit! We’re going to Eloy’s and doing the haunted tour,” Owen said with another yawn. Fox was extremely grateful for how well Owen and Jules had hit it off. He was expecting Jules and Juniper to be a hard sell and assumed dating would take a backseat for the foreseeable future. But he often walked in on Owen and Jules because she called him almost as much as she called Fox. She thought Owen was hysterical and gorgeous and he thought she was fascinating and laughed at all of Jules’s jokes because they had the same sense of humor. Fox hadn’t realized how important that was to him and he felt even luckier to be spending the rest of his life with Owen.
“How about a back massage?” Fox asked and Owen hummed dreamily as he got a clean towel from the stack on the counter.
“That would be the most amazing thing ever.” He trudged into the bedroom as if he was nearly boneless but Fox would turn him into a puddle of happy goo. Owen spread the towel on the bed and Fox was already hard as he got in place and reclined against the pillows. “I told Flip that you give the best massages but he didn’t believe me until I told him why,” Owen confided slyly as he crawled to the middle of the bed. Fox chuckled but it became strained as Owen poured lube into the palm of his hand. He coated Fox’s shaft with slow, squeezing strokes, getting him hard and slick. Once he was sure Fox was ready, Owen turned and got his knees underneath him. Fox sat on his heels and guided Owen back.
“That explains why Wallace insisted on buying my drinks last weekend.” Fox’s lips pursed and he hissed as Owen slowly impaled himself and slid all the way down. Fox couldn’t wait to get this last trip to Maryland over with. He lived for his weekends with Juniper but he was tired of having the halves of his heart on opposite ends of the country. Jules was noticing that Fox disengaged as soon as Juniper left the room because he immediately wondered what Owen was doing and missed him.
