Wright with Benefits, page 21
34
Jordan
I sat at a stool by the bar. An ice pack on my right hand, bourbon in my left, the bottle sitting in front of me, next to Annie’s claddagh ring. The one I’d dug through the dirt to find after she threw it at me.
The winery was empty. All of the patrons had gone home. The party was over.
Jensen had been the representative of my cousins to come over and offer me help if I needed anything. I’d expected to see disappointment in his eyes. See that he finally saw me for who I really was, but it wasn’t there. Just steady Jensen.
“We’ve all been there,” he’d said as he shook my hand to go. “Trust me. I’ve pulled Austin out of much worse.”
I still wasn’t sure how I’d lucked out with them.
Then finally, even Nora had given up on cleaning and left for the night. She’d promised she’d be by in the morning, but I couldn’t seem to care.
Hollin and Julian settled into the seats on either side of me. Julian blew out a long breath. Hollin leaned his elbows against the bar and laced his fingers together in front of him.
“Well, that could have gone better,” Hollin said.
Julian managed a choked laugh. “Understatement of the century.”
I said nothing.
What was there to say? I was the reason things had gone horribly wrong, and I was supposed to be the sensible one.
But I hadn’t been sensible about any of it. I’d thought that if I cut Annie out of my life for the last week, it would make it easier to break up with her tonight. It had seemed like the only sensible idea. I loved her. I wanted her to be mine. At the same time, I couldn’t leave Lubbock. Not when my job was here and my mom had cancer again. I couldn’t do that to her or Julian. Those two thoughts were incongruous.
Annie wanted to leave. I had to stay for my family. Thus, the only solution in my grieving, addled brain had been to let her go. Let her go live the life she had always wanted far away from here. It had hurt to think of a life without her, but I wouldn’t be the reason she stayed.
Then she’d told me that she’d changed her rank choice to Lubbock anyway. She’d done it and I’d been too much of a fool to see that she wanted to stay here for me. Too much of a fool to see past my own grief.
What the fuck was wrong with me?
And how the fuck was I going to fix it? If I even could…
“I wonder who called the fucking police,” Hollin muttered.
“Don’t know,” Julian said with another sigh. “Cops said they got an anonymous tip. Could be anyone.”
“What do you think, Jordan?” Hollin asked.
“I think I want to finish this bottle and forget tonight happened.”
My mood was black.
Julian and Hollin exchanged a glance. Hollin reached for the drink in my hand the same second that Julian managed to snag the bottle.
“Well, that’s enough of that,” Julian said.
“What the fuck? Now you’re taking the bourbon?”
Julian frowned. “I think you’ve had enough, and getting obliterated isn’t going to change anything. Plus, I don’t like to see you like this.”
I knew why. It reminded him too much of Dad. This was the sort of thing Dad had done. Didn’t matter how much I tried to run from his ghost, I was still his son. I still had his temper, his proclivity for alcohol, his general assholeness, and tonight, I hadn’t been able to fool anyone.
Silence hung in the room. Hollin finished my drink in one giant gulp and then stepped around to the back of the bar to wash it up. He took the bottle from Julian and replaced it where it belonged. Then he poured me a water and tossed it across the bar to me.
“Drink up,” he said, picking up a rag and wiping the bar down.
The tread of shoes against the hardwood floor made me lift my gaze from the goddamn water Hollin had given me. I’d been certain we were the only ones left. But there was Campbell. He’d stripped out of his leather jacket, revealing the jagged edges of his black T-shirt, and put on Chucks.
“Yo,” he said with a tip of his head. “What a party. I expected to shut it down in LA but Lubbock?”
He chuckled and slid into Hollin’s abandoned seat. He patted the bar twice. “Old-fashioned, my good man.”
Hollin glared at his younger brother. “I’m not your bartender, asshole. Make your own.”
Campbell chuckled and slid back out of the seat. He came around to the side with Hollin and made a perfect old-fashioned. Hollin looked at him as if he had grown a second head as he muddled the bitters and then added the orange rind to the glass.
“What?” Campbell asked, looking around at all of our surprised faces. “Cosmere had a solid couple years where no one gave a shit about us. I worked my fair share of odd jobs. Bartending being one of them. Anyone else?”
“We’re good,” Julian said.
“Your loss,” Campbell said, taking his seat again and turning to face me. “Man, you whaled on that guy tonight. I could see it from the stage.”
Hollin covered his face, and Julian went pale.
“Not the time, man,” Hollin said. “Did you completely lose your filter in Hollywood?”
“Did I ever have a filter?” Campbell inquired.
“No,” Hollin admitted.
“So, why did you punch him?”
“Because,” I said, looking at this rockstar that I just realized I’d judged all wrong, “he was my girl’s ex, and I thought they were hooking up.”
“You thought?” Campbell asked. “But they weren’t?”
I shrugged. “She said nothing happened. They’ve been friends forever, and I just lost it.”
“Huh. He probably deserved it.”
Julian and Hollin both nodded their agreement.
“He definitely did,” I muttered.
I tapped the bar and stood up, passing the ice to Hollin and pocketing the ring.
“I think I’m going to call it a night,” I told them. “Maybe when I wake up, this will all have just been some horrible nightmare.”
“Are you good to drive?” Julian asked.
“You took the one drink I’d had all night.”
“Just checking,” Julian said. “Are you going to go home and drink?”
I tried not to glare at his concern. “No. I’m not Dad.”
Julian winced. “I didn’t say that.”
He didn’t have to. I could see it in his eyes. The scared little boy coming back out. I was supposed to be his protector. Not make him return to childhood trauma.
I managed a smile and clutched his shoulder. “I’ll be fine. Just need to sleep it off.”
“What happened with Annie?” Julian asked. He couldn’t seem to hold it back.
I clenched my fists and then released them. “I screwed up. We’re done.”
“Fuck,” Hollin said.
“You going to fix it?” Campbell inquired.
“I don’t know if I can,” I admitted and then walked out of the building.
I found my Tesla in the mostly empty parking lot, wedged between Julian’s SUV and Hollin’s giant pickup truck. It felt good to be behind the wheel. To actually have control of something. Because everything else in my life was slipping through my fingers.
I’d thought that Annie would be the exception to my relationship woes. That I wouldn’t completely fuck it up and watch everything crumble in front of my eyes.
Nope. I’d been wrong.
I’d been driving for a few minutes before I realized that I really didn’t want to go home. Back to my huge, empty house with Annie’s things in it. With the wet bar standing there temptingly. I didn’t need to make bad things worse.
So, I took the next turn without preamble, and in another minute, I pulled into my mom’s driveway. She’d come to the party early since she wanted to see it all in its glory, but she’d left before the music started. She hadn’t been feeling well. Since the party had been broken up, it was early evening and she would likely still be awake.
I knocked on the door, unannounced, and a minute later, my mom pulled it open. She was already in her nightgown.
“Jordan?” she said in surprise. “Everything all right? I thought the party would be going for a few more hours.”
“I thought so, too.”
She frowned at my choice of words. “Well, come inside and tell me about it.”
I entered her house, happy for once for the cozy ’70s-era home. It felt lived in. It felt like my mom, and that was exactly what I needed.
“Do you want a drink? Coffee? Tea?”
“I’m okay.”
“Well, I’m going to have some tea. I’ll make you a mug.”
I nodded, falling down onto her overstuffed couch. It even smelled like home. Like I could curl up here on her sofa with tea and soup and feel better. Except I wasn’t sick and everything that hurt, I’d done to myself.
My mom returned with tea and passed one to me. “Now, what happened with the party?”
“Someone leaked that Campbell was going to be there, and we hit overcapacity. Then I guess the cops were called, and they sent everyone home.”
“Oh dear,” my mom said. “What part of that explains your broken knuckles?”
Never could get anything past her. “I might have gotten into an altercation with Annie’s ex-boyfriend.”
My mom sighed, setting her tea aside. “How many times do I have to tell you that settling things with your fists helps nothing?”
“At least one more time, apparently,” I said with a grimace that bordered on a smile.
“And how is Annie?”
“I think…we might have broken up.”
“You think?”
I set down the tea and put my head in my hands. “I screwed up. I thought I was doing the right thing. She wanted to go away for her residency, and I didn’t want her to give up on her dream. So, I made a total ass of myself and ended it.”
“Oh Jordan…”
“I’m just like Dad. I fuck up everything.”
My mom sighed softly and then came to sit next to me. She put an arm around my shoulders and patted my knee. “Look at me.”
With concerted effort, I turned to look at my mom.
“You are not just like your dad. And even if you were, that isn’t a bad thing.”
I laughed derisively. “How can you say that?”
“Because I fell in love with him and I married him.”
“He was horrible to you!”
“Later in life, we had our differences, but I still refuse to believe that Owen is every part the villain that he has always been painted. He wasn’t loved as much as his older brother, who got the bulk of Wright Construction. He was pushed to Canada, ostensibly to get him out of the picture. He didn’t know what love was, and so he made a lot of wrong choices. It doesn’t excuse the mistakes he made, but it gives a clearer picture as to who he is.”
“But…he’s awful. I have his hot-blooded anger and his quick-fuse temper and the addictive personality. Everything that is wrong with me is him.”
“Also, nearly everything that is good in you is him, too,” she reminded me.
“No,” I said. “Everything good, I got from you.”
“Your business sense comes from your father. Your protective nature comes from your father. Your ability to love so openly and quickly comes from your father.”
“That’s different.”
She laughed. “You can’t make your dad who you want him to be. He’s multidimensional. He has layers. There’s more to him than you give him credit for. And more to you than you give yourself credit for. What happened tonight was a mistake. But we don’t live our life by our mistakes and failures. We learn from them. Owen did, and you will, too.”
“Do you still love him?” I breathed. A question I’d never asked my mom.
“With my whole heart.” She stared down at her hands. “But it didn’t work out that way in the end. And sometimes, that’s how it happens.”
“I love you, Mom,” I said, pulling her into a hug.
She squeezed me tight. “I love you, too.” When she released me, she had that glint in her eye that I knew all too well. “But you’d better figure out how to make this up to Annie because I really like her.”
I shook my head. “She’s never going to talk to me again.”
“I bet she will.”
“I wouldn’t if I were in her shoes.”
“You were wrong. You know you were wrong. You just have to admit that and make it up to her.”
“How could I possibly make this up to her?”
“Might I suggest the trifecta: flowers, chocolate, and a lot of groveling.”
I laughed because there was nothing else to do. “Do you think that will work?”
“I think that she loves you, and if you’re sincere, she’ll listen.”
“She doesn’t love me,” I whispered.
“I wouldn’t be so sure,” my mom said. “The important thing right now is, how do you feel about her?”
“I love her,” I said without hesitation.
“Then you know what you have to do.”
And I did.
I knew exactly what I needed to do.
35
Annie
I didn’t hear the banging on the front door or the subsequent doorbell. I’d cried myself to sleep the night before, and I hadn’t planned to surface the rest of the day. Jennifer had a photoshoot in the morning and evening. So, I’d expected to have the entire house to myself to wallow. Now that the floodgates had opened, there was nothing left to do.
Until a five-year-old jumped on me in bed and started giggling. “Aunt Annie!”
I peeked out from under the cover to find my niece, Aly. “Aly Cat, what are you doing here?”
“Daddy said that you were sad and we needed to bring you doughnuts.”
I laughed. “That sounds like your dad.”
“I want the chocolate ones!” Aly cried.
She hopped off my bed, and I could see that she was in a full ballet ensemble—tights, leotard, and tutu. Her own mop of red curls pulled up in a bun. This kid lived and breathed ballet.
“With sprinkles?” I asked her.
“Yes! Sprinkles are my favorite.”
“All right. I guess I’ll get up then.”
Aly ran out the door. “Daddy, I got her up, and she wasn’t even mad!”
I snorted as I tugged on black sweats and a red Tech sweatshirt. At least Isaac knew to bribe his kid to wake me up instead of doing it himself. I’d hit him too many times, growing up, for him to attempt it on his own.
“Doughnuts?” I asked cautiously as I stepped into the living room to find Isaac and Peyton standing there.
“Rise and Shine,” he said, indicating our favorite doughnut shop.
“You know a way to a girl’s heart.” I hugged his fiancée. “Hey Peyton. I didn’t know you were in from New York.”
Peyton smiled as I scooped up one of the lone chocolate doughnuts covered with sprinkles left after Aly ate just the chocolate tops off of three others. Crazy kid.
“Last-minute plans,” Peyton said. “It’s good to see you.”
“Aunt Annie,” Aly said. She was skipping and doing dance leaps around my living room. She had more energy in one pinkie than I’d had any other morning of my life. “Daddy said that if you got your shoes on, we could walk to the playground.”
I arched an eyebrow at Isaac. “Bribery?”
“It works.”
Peyton chuckled.
“Let me finish my doughnut,” I told Aly.
“Okay. Are you finished now?”
I took another bite and shook my head.
“What about now? I like going down the slides.”
“I know you do,” I told her with a laugh. Nothing like Aly to raise my terrible, terrible mood.
“You’re finished!” she cheered as I ate the last of the doughnut. “Now, can we go?”
“Patience, Aly.”
She screwed up her face at her dad like she’d heard that word one too many times and knew it didn’t apply to her.
I went back in search of socks and tugged on tennis shoes and a beanie. “All right. Now, we can go if we can stop at J&B on the way for coffee.”
“Done,” Isaac said.
It was brisk for early March. That last haunting cold that clung to Lubbock for dear life. With our luck, it’d still snow one more time before spring officially broke through.
I got Peyton and me both large black coffees. I held the cup tight to warm up my hands as we walked to the next block, where there was a park and playground. Aly ran the rest of the way to the playground and immediately befriended another girl who was there with her mom. The mom tipped her head at us.
“I’m going to watch Aly,” Peyton said pointedly. “Give y’all time to talk.”
Peyton disappeared, her lean dancer legs cutting quick across the space to stand next to the other mom.
“Oh great,” I murmured into my coffee. “Big-brother talk.”
“So…” Isaac said.
“How much did you hear?”
Because there was only one reason he was here this morning. If Peyton was in town, I expected to see him long enough to watch Aly before they disappeared to do grown-up things. Long-distance was hard. Another reason I hadn’t wanted to do it.
“It can’t possibly be as bad as I heard,” Isaac said.
“Oh, it’s probably worse.”
“I was told that Jordan punched Chase, you and Jordan got into a huge argument, the police were called, and then you had a very public breakup.”
I took a fortifying sip of my blistering hot coffee. “Actually, that’s pretty much right.”
“Jesus, Annie.”
“Tell me about it.”
“Jordan’s my boss, or I’d definitely beat him up for you.”
I laughed softly. “You’d lose. I saw how he hit Chase. You’d definitely lose.”
“So, what are you going to do?”
“I really don’t know,” I whispered into my coffee. “I was hoping to not have to think about it.”
“That usually solves everything.”
I snorted. “It’s just…it’s complicated. I’m mad at him. Furious, honestly. He was out of control, and he said some horrible things that I’m ninety-five percent sure he’s going to deeply regret, but it doesn’t change that he said them.”
