Girl Undercover 10 & 11: The Abduction & Dante's Inferno, page 6
I kept staring at the lampshade, and, as I concentrated on the breathing, felt how my eyelids got heavier and heavier.
“If you want to close your eyes, go ahead and do so,” she suggested in that incredibly soothing voice that was so unlike her regular one. The sound of that alone was hypnotizing.
I let my eyelids droop until my eyes were fully closed.
“Now imagine that you’re at the top of a staircase in a warm, quiet room. There are ten steps and at the bottom, there’s a door. When you pass through this door, you will reach a state of pure relaxation. Can you see the door?”
“Yes…”
“Good. Take the first step down and feel yourself sinking deeper into relaxation. Each step is a step further into your subconscious. Now you step down the second step and feel yourself getting calmer and calmer. When you reach the third step, your body feels as if it is floating blissfully away…”
She kept talking, instructing me how to breathe, what to think of, asking me if I trusted that she wanted me to succeed. Telling her that I did, I felt myself drift farther and farther away from my body, the descent becoming increasingly real. As I opened that imaginary door, I had entered a pleasant trance. She asked me to picture my wedding day then, think about how I felt before I went down the aisle. Bringing back the memory was surprisingly easy. Suddenly, I was just there.
“Were there a lot of people at your wedding?” she asked softly.
“Yes, the church was full…”
“Think about all the people who were there. How they were looking at you as you walked down the aisle.”
All the expectant, mostly smiling faces were instantly in my mind’s eye.
“How does it smell in the church?” she asked.
I inhaled and that faint smell of flowers and candle wax entered my nostrils. I told her about it.
“Is it cold? Warm? Or just right?”
“It’s just right,” I mumbled.
“Who’s next to you?”
“My dad. He’s walking me down the aisle.”
“Keep walking down the aisle, Gabriella. Who do you see waiting for you at the other end?”
“Nick… He’s looking so handsome. He never looked so good before.”
“Does he look happy?”
“Yes… He’s smiling. I’m reaching him now. Oh, God, it feels so good to see him again. Be with him… I missed him so much.”
“He loves you so much. Every time you’re together, this is obvious. He wants you to be happy. Do you want him to be happy, Gabriella?”
“Of course. I love him.”
“Do you believe he wants you to always be happy, no matter what?”
“Yes… Yes, I do.”
“Do you think he would want you to spend the rest of your life trying to find his killers? Become a different person, be far away from family and friends? Never have a chance of being truly happy again because all you can think about is how to avenge his death? To hurt so much you don’t allow yourself to feel anything again. Would he want that for you?”
“I… I… No. No, I don’t think he would want that for me…”
“What would make him happy?”
I heard Nick’s voice in my head then: “There’s nothing better than seeing you smile, Gabi.”
I told Dr. Sokoloff about it.
“Are you smiling when you’re thinking about who killed him?” she asked.
I didn’t answer. I couldn’t answer. Vivid images of his tortured body filled my mind, and suddenly my eyes were full of hot tears. They were soon streaming down my cheeks. Or had they been there already, and I only noticed them now? I had no idea.
“I think that’s answer enough,” Dr. Sokoloff whispered then. “Do you think it would make Nick happy to see you like this?”
I sniffled, wiping away the tears with the heels of my hands.
“Answer me, Gabriella. Do you think it would make him happy?”
“No,” I finally managed to get out. “No, it wouldn’t make him happy.”
“Do you want to make him happy?”
“Yes. Yes, I do.”
“Then you must stop this madness. There is no evil company about to overthrow governments across the world. There are no mad scientists who’ve genetically engineered embryos to become super humans. There are no corrupt politicians working to help The Adler Group’s leader make his warped worldview come true, are there, Gabriella?”
My tears suddenly dried up. Calmly, I said, “I wish I could tell you it was all part of my brain dealing with the loss of Nick, but it isn’t. It’s all very, very true, unfortunately.”
A long silence ensued during which images of what awaited us after New Year’s Eve began to fill my mind. Finally Dr. Sokoloff told me to open my eyes.
She regarded me for a long, tense moment. Then she stood up and walked over to the window where she turned the handle to the blinds, allowing for daylight to seep into her office again. She remained there, hands on her hips, and gazed out into the street outside.
“Do you believe me?” I asked her back.
Slowly, she turned around. “Yes, I do believe you. And I will tell Captain Brady my thoughts as soon as you leave my office.”
Chapter 6
After my session with Dr. Sokoloff was over, I drove to a Baja Burritos franchise, a Tex Mex fast-food restaurant I had always loved, and ordered a huge steak burrito with lots of sour cream and guacamole in it. I needed all the calories, feeling utterly depleted after the hypnosis that had forced me to dig so deep into my mind and soul. I was glad I was wearing the ball cap for reasons other than not wanting to bump into people I knew now; my eyes were red and swollen after all the tears I’d shed and my face was puffy. One peek in the small mirror in the psychologist’s office had made me yelp at the unsightliness.
I took my time eating the burrito, chewing slowly and enjoying every bite of it, thinking how much I had missed this joint. When I was done, I tried Ian on the phone, wanting to share my success with Dr. Sokoloff with him. It was pretty fundamental after all, as Captain Brady would have no choice but to believe me now. I also wanted to discuss with Ian what our next step should be. How would we best mobilize all of Brady’s contacts in law enforcement across the country? We had already gone over this to some extent, but it wouldn’t hurt to do it again. Besides, I needed to kill some time before calling Brady anyway. Who knew how long he and Dr. Sokoloff would be on the phone dissecting me? That is, if she’d even gotten hold of him.
Unfortunately, Ian didn’t pick up, so I left a message, telling him to call me back as soon as he heard it.
Deciding that I would drive to the apartment in Downtown L.A. next to see how things were going with the two doctors, I left the Tex Mex place and headed over to my car. My phone started to ring the second I closed the door to the white Toyota.
That was quick, I thought, sure it was Ian calling me back. But when I found the phone in my purse I saw that it was Brady, not Ian, who was trying to reach me.
I pressed the Talk button and put the phone to my ear.
“Hello, Captain,” I said.
“Hello, Longoria. How are you feeling?”
“I’m okay, thank you. How about you?” Having been near death not long ago, there was still reason to worry about his health, even though he looked better than ever.
“I’m fine, thanks. I just got off the phone with Dr. Sokoloff down at the station. She told me you had completed your session.”
“Right. We did.” I felt my lips pull into a smile as I waited to hear Brady apologize for having accused me of making up everything because I couldn’t deal with losing Nick.
But he didn’t and instead said in a firm tone, “It seems Dr. Sokoloff has lost her touch. I’m frankly very surprised to hear that she believes you’re telling the truth when it’s all so… so…” He cleared his throat. “I don’t know what to call it. But I do know that it can’t be true.”
At first, I thought he must be kidding, even though Captain Brady had never been one to joke around about much, and especially not about momentous matters such as this one. Still, he simply couldn’t be serious. How could he think I was inventing everything when a psychologist with a doctorate degree from frigging Harvard with years of experience vouched for my sanity?
When he didn’t say anything else, I spoke, “How can you say that with such certainty when Dr. Sokoloff has told you it’s not my brain making up things?”
“How can I believe otherwise? Your claims are just too… too incredible to be true. I’m not sure why Dr. Sokoloff insists you were being sincere. The only explanation I can think of is that she mustn’t be as good as we thought her to be.”
He sighed wearily. “Listen, Gabi, you need to let this go now. I know how hard Nick’s murder has been on you, but it’s time for you to deal with the fact that he’s gone. Whether we find the people who killed him or not, he’s still gone and will remain gone. Creating all these conspiracy theories won’t change that. I’m sorry to be so blunt, but if you could only hear yourself, you’d understand why I’m talking so harshly to you. Someone’s gotta do it.”
“Captain, with all due respect, I can’t let it go,” I said, the shock to learn that Brady remained steadfast in his belief turning into frustration now. “Look, I agree that it all sounds perfectly incredible, but that doesn’t make it any less true. Believe me, I wish it did. I don’t want all of this to be happening any more than you do, but it is happening. Would you like to talk to the man who first introduced me to what’s going on? Maybe that would help you accept that it’s all true, every single word of it.”
I no longer cared if I sounded rude. “You can’t possibly think I’m imagining him, can you? He and I could use your help, as we don’t know who in the FBI and other government agencies we can trust. You know them a lot better than we both do.”
“Are you referring to that disgraced FBI agent? Ian Armory?”
“Yes, that’s who I’m talking about. Would it help if I got him on the phone so you could talk to him?”
“Why would I want to talk to an ex-con who’s also a drug addict? Come on, Longoria! Really, I thought you were smarter than that. Why are you wasting your time with someone like that?” Only then did the fact that he’d saiddisgracedFBI agent fully sink into my head.
Oh, so he must have read the fake articles about Ian then, I thought. I had skipped that part in my account yesterday of everything that had happened.
Before I got a chance to reply, Brady continued, “Doesn’t his background bother you one iota? As good of an investigator as you are, I’m sure you checked him out when he told you everything. Or didn’t you? Please tell me you did.”
“Of course I checked him out. The minute I got home I Googled the guy and I read plenty about him. But those articles were all planted by the government.” I didn’t like the sentiment expanding within me, a sentiment that told me I’d lost Brady even before he sent me to see Dr. Sokoloff. How could I have lost him so quickly? I felt like I was talking to a stranger he acted to differently from the boss I was used to. The man I had worked for was patient and wise, someone who never raised his voice. Had the heart attack changed him to this degree?
I had heard of others whose personality had changed significantly after similar events. Which wasn’t odd; even if you didn’t develop complications afterward, having been so near death surely had the power to screw with your head. Was this what was going on here? I couldn’t think of another reason.
Brady gave a light, incredulous chuckle. “The articles were planted by the government?”
“Yes, but it wasn’t an official move obviously,” I fired back, getting increasingly frustrated. “As I explained to you earlier, a faction of the government is involved in the conspiracy and their tentacles are far-reaching. They have people working for them in every level of society. Certainly in the media. That’s how they managed to get the articles in the papers. You know, in case he got it in his mind to try to stop them. So they played it safe by discrediting him.” I paused there, waiting for Brady to say something. His silence spoke louder than any words ever could.
I exhaled with exasperation; it took all I had not to raise my voice and yell at my boss. “Captain, I know it sounds insane—it took me months and more evidence to finally believe it myself. I couldn’t understand why Ian was still alive if he was such a threat to them, and I’m still not sure about that part. My fear is that they believe themselves to be invincible at this point and have good reason to believe that. My hope is that it’s because they’re learning something from keeping him—and me—alive. All I’m absolutely sure of is that I’m not crazy. I swear to you, it’s all true. And we have to stop them. It would be easier for us to do that with your help. So please help us.”
I knew I had reduced myself into a beggar, but I didn’t care. I needed for my boss to open his eyes and see what was coming. I was willing to do whatever it took to make him believe me.
I could hear him take a deep breath and after another couple of beats, he spoke. “Longoria. It pains me to have to say this, but given your current mental state, I’m going to have to prolong your paid leave. And it will only be paid if you agree to get help. We need to find you another therapist to work with. Dr. Sokoloff is not going to cut it. Not after her performance today. I will make some phone calls and then get back to you about who you can work with.”
Closing my eyes, I wondered, Why is he refusing to believe me? I decided to give it one last shot. “Put me through a lie detector test.”
“That would be pointless. You know very well how it works. As deeply as you believe all these creations of your mind to be true, I can’t see how you’d ever fail a polygraph. That’s why doing a session with Dr. Sokoloff was the only viable alternative. I think we’re done talking about this now. You’ll hear from me as soon as I find the appropriate person for you to talk to. Take care until then, Longoria.”
With those words, he disconnected the phone. I stared at the shiny gadget in my hand, hoping to wake up and find that this had all just been a very weird daydream. But of course I didn’t. On a whim, I tried Ian again. He picked up on the second ring.
“Hey, sorry I missed your call,” he said, breathing shallowly like he’d been running. “Jonah came out of Nikkei before I could answer and I got busy following him. A waste of time again. He only went to the bank and then came back to the club. What’s going on?”
I gave him an abbreviated version of my successful session with Dr. Sokoloff followed by the downer conversation between me and Brady.
“Bloody hell,” was Ian’s response when I finally finished my report.
“Yeah, you could say that again,” I said, leaning back against the car seat, feeling helpless. “Bloody fucking hell.”
“So you’re saying that up until today, he has never once questioned her diagnoses because he respected her ability as a therapist that much?”
“Precisely. Her words were like the law to him, not up for debate.”
“Hmm. It sounds to me that your captain has switched teams.” Ian’s voice was matter-of-fact.
I sat up. “What? You think he’s joined The Adler Group? I strongly disagree. But I do think that massive heart attack he suffered did a number on him, because he’s definitely not the same as before. It’s like talking to a whole other person. A grumpy, unreasonable person.”
“Even more reason to believe he’s become an untouchable. Think about it, Gabi. Flirting with death might make someone moody and depressed. Make someone who used to be an extrovert become an introvert. I’ve heard about those cases, too. But would it really change someone so much that they can no longer think logically? I don’t think so. I’m telling you, he’s no longer on our side.”
“I refuse to believe anyone has been able to convince him to become an untouchable. He might be testy and pessimistic these days, but I have yet to see signs of him having turned evil or weak. Only people with those qualities would ever agree to become untouchables.”
“Who said he became one voluntarily?”
“You actually think someone gave him the virus to permanently change his brain? I was under the impression it wasn’t that easy, or The Adler Group could just send it out via computers and brainwash everyone to make them do whatever they wanted. Obviously, there’s a catch.” I considered what I had just said. “Actually, there could be more than one catch.”
“There’s probably a catch or two. My guess is they’re still working on perfecting it, particularly the computer transmission of it. What did Jonah tell you about this? Or are you exempt because you’re his girlfriend and therefore considered safe?”
I thought about what Jonah had said about my becoming an untouchable. I couldn’t remember him ever saying that I needed to take some form of drug or do something in order to become UT, just that I’d be safe if I was his girlfriend. I told Ian this.
“But when I spoke to Burt about it in my apartment,” I continued, “it seemed I’d have to be subjected to the virus somehow in order to become untouchable even if I was Jonah’s girlfriend.” More and more of my conversation with Burt returned to me now. “I’m really not sure what he meant by that to be honest, now that I think about it. It was also unclear from our conversation if the ones who became untouchables voluntarily would have to eventually ingest the virus in order to stay that way forever. People like politicians and businessmen who’re part of the original movement and are regular humans.”
“You’d think it be safer for Stenger if everyone had the virus in their bodies to keep them in check,” Ian mused. “Even those in the original movement.”
“Yes, I agree. Maybe the catch is that the side effects are simply too great that you’d rather avoid ingesting the virus unless you really have to then.”
“That would make sense. Which brings us back to what I already suggested—they must be perfecting it still. Figure out ways to remove the side effects, or at least minimize them. When are you seeing the doctors again?”
