Lunacy (Blood Trails Book 13), page 15
“Are you going to be okay if she gets angry?” Ruth asked.
“Yes.” I turned to Scath. “You stay out here.”
She snorted. “I don’t think so.”
“If she goes in, I go in,” Peasblossom announced.
I rubbed the bridge of my nose. I didn’t have time to argue.
Ruth unlocked the door and pulled it open. Emma gave me a sullen stare as I came inside, not making a move to get up from her position reclining on the small bed built into the wall. There was a desk and a chair against the other wall, so I turned the chair to face her and sat down.
Scath settled on the floor at my feet, her back against my legs. The physical contact surprised me, being a little more odd with Scath in human form than when she was a cat. But she seemed comfortable, so I shrugged it off. Peasblossom flew to the top of my head, squirming around and threading her tiny hands into my hair to hold on. Emma watched me like a cranky adult observing a magician set up his table of tricks at a child’s birthday party—slight annoyance and a cold confidence that they would not be impressed. She did look at Scath with an odd expression, and it occurred to me she may never have seen her in her human form.
“Emma, Scath, Scath, Emma,” I said, making introductions.
I paused, but neither Scath nor Emma waved hello.
“I have spells to make people more chatty,” I said finally, smoothing my hands over my thighs. “And some that work like truth serum. Neither of them are one hundred percent reliable, but they can help.” I tilted my head. “But none of them work on shifters. It’s the dual psyche thing. Even if I could get them to work on your human half, your beast wouldn’t feel it.”
Emma arched an eyebrow. “Okay.”
“I don’t know what it’s like to be turned,” I continued, leaning back in my chair. “It must be a little weird. I don’t mean the physical change, though that has to be…something else. I mean…” I stopped and frowned. “Actually, if you don’t mind my asking…what’s it like? I mean, did you gain your beast like another personality? Or did your more…primal instincts just sort of…take on a personality of their own?”
“Ask your boyfriend,” Emma said, her voice cold. “We’re not friends. And I don’t want to talk to you.”
“Liam’s a born werewolf,” Peasblossom spoke up. “He can’t answer that question.”
“Then find someone else,” Emma snapped. “This place is full of them.”
I studied her for a long minute. Most people were uncomfortable with silence. If you were quiet long enough, they’d keep talking to fill that silence. Give more information than they wanted to. But Emma was a cop. She knew all about silence.
And she was fine with it.
Finally, I took a deep breath and steeled myself. Time to go nuclear. “Liam and I haven’t slept together yet.”
Peasblossom almost fell off my head, and even Scath turned to look at me, her green eyes more alert than they’d been a second ago.
Warmth pooled in my cheeks, but I forced myself to keep going. “Part of it is because of Flint. I’m under contract for another three months, and I’d rather not… Well, really I guess it doesn’t matter, since he’s well aware Liam and I are…dating.”
Emma gaped at me like I’d lost my mind. Her reaction didn’t make it any easier to spit out personal information that I hadn’t quite thought through completely myself. But I plowed forward.
“If I’m completely honest,” I continued. “I never planned to date. I just finished my apprenticeship, and I was determined to make a success of my private investigation services—despite the total lack of encouragement from my mentor, mind you. Dating just wasn’t something I thought of at all. Seemed like an unnecessary complication.”
I cleared my throat. “And if I’m brutally honest… There’s a part of me that is hyper aware that there’s a big difference between dating a human—or even, say, a wizard—and dating a shifter. Not just a shifter, but an alpha. Sometimes I worry that Liam will want more…more…” I floundered for the right word, seriously concerned about the possibility of my face bursting into flames.
“Obedience?” Emma said softly.
I winced. “Yes. Yes, I guess that is what I mean.” I leaned forward, giving into a sudden very real need to talk to someone about this feeling, someone who would understand. “It’s the hierarchy thing. The stress they put on rank, on where each person stands in the pack. If we’re dating, if we’re…seriously dating. Then does that make me pack? Does that mean I’m part of the hierarchy? I’d be the mate of the alpha, does that give me superior status, or does the fact that I’m—”
“Weaker?” Emma suggested.
I started to argue, then thought better of it. Whenever possible, I liked to avoid telling someone that if it came right down to a fight, I could kill them.
No one liked to hear that.
And a shocking number of them immediately felt driven to prove you wrong.
“Yes,” I said simply.
“You’d have status based on Liam’s status,” Emma said after a minute.
“Really?”
Emma nodded. “I asked Stephen. When we were talking about starting our own pack.”
Hope flared inside me. This was progress.
“How long have you been a cop?” I asked her.
“Eight years.” Some of the tension eased from her shoulders.
“I know there’s a lot of rank attention in the police force,” I said thoughtfully. “Did that make learning the pack hierarchy any less weird?”
Emma’s eyes narrowed slightly, and she searched my face as if to see if I was messing with her. “I don’t have a problem with the pack hierarchy. I have a problem with the fact that a higher ranking wolf has a say over my personal life, not just my work life.”
I thought she was talking about being separated from Stephen, but before I could ask, Emma leaned forward.
“Did you ever have sex with Flint?”
I scowled. “No. Nor would I ever.”
“Why not?”
I stared at her. “Have you met him?”
The corner of her mouth quirked up, but she kept herself from smiling. “Yes. He’s very attractive.”
“And very aware of it. And he uses sex as a weapon.” I shook my head. “I’d kill him first.”
Emma raised her eyebrows. “Couldn’t he…you know. Insist? Because of the contract?”
“If he wanted to live with the consequences, sure.” I let my tone tell her exactly what would happen if he tried what she suggested.
She opened her mouth as if she had another question, but this time I jumped in first.
“Would you have let Stephen change you if you hadn’t thought the two of you would be immediately forming your own pack?” I asked.
Emma snapped her mouth shut. I watched her give the question real consideration, her eyes never leaving mine. I held my breath, wondering if I’d shared enough. I knew Emma had recognized my rambling for what it was. An offer of equal footing. Giving something personal before asking for it.
“I don’t know,” she said finally. “I love Stephen. And if being turned was necessary to keep him, then probably, yeah.” She took a breath, then stopped. Opened her mouth then shut it. I waited, giving her time.
“Something feels wrong. I just… I can’t explain it. But something inside feels wrong. It felt wrong when we were going to break off, right after we got Brenna back. And it felt wrong when we stayed. I tried being part of the ‘team,’ I tried doing what they told me, but I just…” She shook her head.
“Your human self and your beast are out of sync,” Scath said softly.
Emma narrowed her eyes. “You sound like Ruth.”
“Because she knows what she’s talking about.” Scath fixed her eyes on Emma. “Your beast was new. She needed comfort. Security. A foundation. Stephen said he’d give you that, but he didn’t know he couldn’t. He wasn’t an alpha, not even close. You believed him, but your beast didn’t. Your beast knew. But your human self went along with it anyway, and your beast never got to feel the comfort that comes from having an alpha you know will protect you. And when your coup failed, you came back, and you resented it.”
Emma shifted uneasily on the bed. “I thought you weren’t a shifter. You’re fey. Sidhe. Aren’t you?”
Scath nodded.
“Then how do you know any of this?”
Scath tilted her head. “Because I watch. And I listen. And I know what it’s like to feel your beast and your human half…break apart.”
I stared at Scath, my mouth hanging open. This is what it took to get her to open up?
“How do I fix it then?” Emma asked, the question shooting out as if it had escaped without her permission.
“Go to Liam,” Scath said calmly. “And tell him you need help.”
I expected Emma to recoil, to tell Scath she’d die first. But she didn’t.
“Help to what?” she asked, sounding smaller, almost afraid.
Scath shook her head. “Doesn’t matter. Just ask for help. All you have to do is get your human side to ask. Liam will know. And your beast will feel it.”
Emma covered her face, a split second too late to keep me from seeing the tears leak down her cheeks. “I fucking hate this shit.”
Scath stretched, wincing as the tendons in her back popped in a line down her spine. “Me too.”
I opened my mouth to chase down that last comment, but I was too late. Scath’s shift to human form was slow and painful, but her shift to cat form was bloody near instantaneous. She curled up at my feet, once again a silent black feline.
“Well,” Peasblossom said slowly. “That was…interesting.”
“I’m going to call Liam in,” I said, keeping my voice soft as if I’d break the spell over the room if I spoke too loud. I gathered up the clothes Scath had discarded during her liquid change back to a cat. “If that’s okay?”
Emma nodded without speaking, but she didn’t drop her hands.
Liam came quickly when I texted him, making me think he’d been right outside the door, or very close. He entered slowly, as if not sure what to expect, then blinked in confusion when he saw Emma sitting on the bed, her hands pressed against her face. He started to open his mouth, probably to ask what happened, then his nostrils flared. Scenting tears, I guessed by the bewildered look on his face.
Emma dropped her hands and rose from the bed. She marched up to Liam with the determination of someone afraid of the water about to go off the diving board, then stopped right in front of him. She looked up at him and with the same scared-to-death speed, whispered, “I need help.”
A change came over Liam. I couldn’t put my finger on what it was exactly. He didn’t relax, or tense. Didn’t smile or frown. But something…changed. Silently, he opened his arms and drew Emma into a hug. Slowly, carefully. And he held her like that for a long minute. Held her until she relaxed, just a tiny bit. His aura flared, a soothing, warm sensation like a summer breeze.
“I’ll keep you safe,” he whispered.
And just like that, she collapsed against him. Sobbing, shoulders shaking. I stared, my mouth dropping open for the second time in the last twenty minutes.
Ruth was standing in the doorway, and I looked at her.
“It’s that easy?” I whispered, unable to help myself.
“There’s nothing easy about it,” Ruth said simply.
Suddenly I felt as if I were intruding on a very personal moment. I rose to my feet, but my movement drew Emma’s attention. She pulled back and wiped at her eyes. Liam let her go, but stayed close. I guessed close enough that Emma’s beast could still feel his aura.
“I didn’t shoot Dustin,” she said, her voice thick with tears. “I was talking to the lone wolves because I wanted to know what it was like being a lone wolf. I wanted to know if I could do it. Needed to know it was an option if I…if I couldn’t get to a place where I felt…right.”
“We found your gun in the forest,” Liam said.
“I tried to take it with me when Dustin texted,” Emma said. “But I couldn’t find it. Everything else I told you was the truth.”
“Why do you have a gun with silver bullets?” I asked.
“Because I’m not stupid,” she said. “I know lone wolves are dangerous. And I know I’m not strong enough to take most of them in a hand-to-hand fight. Or claw to claw. And believe it or not, you can order silver bullets online now. I think mostly humans consider it a joke, but…” She shrugged.
“When was the last time you had it?” Liam asked. “The gun?”
“I don’t remember for sure. I’ve been trying. I think I had it two weeks ago. At The Rusty Cuffs.”
I bit the inside of my cheek. “Someone is putting a lot of effort into framing you. And if we can’t prove someone took your gun, they’re going to get away with it.”
Chapter 14
“Shade, could I speak with you for a moment outside?” Ruth asked.
I blinked at her, somewhat taken aback. Then I saw her nod, almost imperceptibly, in Liam and Emma’s direction. Ah. “Of course. Lead the way. Scath, Peasblossom, you can come too.”
Ruth turned, but not before I caught the look of relief on her face. I followed her out of the holding cell, leaving the door open behind us. Ruth led me down the hallway, to where it branched off into a longer waiting room type area.
“Would I be correct in assuming that what just happened is significant?” I asked. “I mean, between Liam and Emma. With her asking for help?”
Ruth sat down in one of the available chairs and took a moment to smooth her long, brown linen skirt over her legs before looking at me. For a second, I thought she might tell me it was none of my business. That this was a pack matter, and I didn’t need to concern myself with details. It would have been true enough. The case was my business, but not the relationship between Emma and her alpha. But after a long moment of consideration—and a surreptitious glance at Scath—she nodded.
“It might help if you think of Emma’s wolf as a child, and Emma’s human half as the parent. The child emerged from Emma during the transformation, young and frightened. Her instincts told her Liam was a strong leader who would keep both child and mother safe—but Emma saw him as an enemy because of Stephen.”
Ruth lifted one arm so she could draw her fingers over the myriad of gold bracelets on her wrist. “Wolves don’t stand on social pretense when survival is on the line. Emma wanted to believe Stephen could deliver what he promised, but her wolf knew better. But even after Emma realized that Stephen couldn’t protect her, she wouldn’t admit she’d been wrong. Wouldn’t swallow her pride enough to acknowledge Liam. And then when she started seeing the lone wolves, it got worse.”
“Because the child viewed them as a threat,” I said slowly. “And they didn’t have a protector.”
“Balancing what you want as a human and what your beast needs isn’t easy,” Ruth said staring at the light playing off one of her bracelets. “But the first step for a new wolf is simply to ask for help. Let their wolf know that there’s someone strong who will make sure nothing bad happens. That no one will hurt them, and they won’t hurt anyone else.”
I took a seat beside Ruth. She tensed, but only for a second.
A few moments passed, and still she didn’t say anything.
“You wanted to speak to me?” I prompted her.
Ruth frowned. “I just wanted to get you out of the room. Liam and Emma need privacy.”
“Ah.” My shoulders slumped. So much for a chance to bond with New Moon’s head counselor.
“It would seem someone who realized Emma had essentially isolated herself from the protection of her pack decided to take advantage,” I said finally. “Any ideas on who might want to frame her?” I asked.
The head counselor considered that, tapping one fingernail on the arm of the chair. “Emma doesn’t have any enemies that I know of. Not here. Poor attitude aside, she treats everyone that isn’t above her in the hierarchy like a close friend, and people like her. But she is a police officer. And she’s been speaking to lone wolves. She could have an enemy I don’t know about.”
I toyed with the zipper on my waist pouch. “No one here? No clients who might see her as rocking the boat? No one who wants to help Liam out by removing a trouble-maker?”
Ruth shook her head. “This is a rehab center for feral wolves, and a place new wolves can come to make peace with their new lives, learn how to lead a safe, productive life. Everyone here has made mistakes—many of them much worse than Emma’s. No one holds her bad choices against her.”
The door on the other end of the room—the one that led back to the main part of New Moon—opened suddenly and Brenna appeared. She was holding a sheet of paper in one hand, and after looking around for her brother and not finding him, she waved them at me. “Stephen found Emma’s phone. I managed to recover some deleted texts. We can confirm that Dustin texted her the night he was killed and asked her to meet him in the forest.”
“Well, that’s something,” Ruth said wearily, rubbing her temples with her fingers. “At least we can show Emma didn’t lure him here.”
“But that’s not enough,” I said, frustrated. “The gun had no fingerprints on it besides Emma’s. We have no way to prove anyone but Emma ever handled it.”
Brenna straightened, and I looked around to see Liam coming down the corridor from the holding cell. Alone.
He approached Brenna and took the sheet of paper from her, scanning it as he did so. “Emma said the last time she clearly remembers having her gun was when she went to the Rusty Cuffs a week ago. She said she remembers because she stopped going out when she found out Cormac was coming, figured the heat would be on and everyone would be on edge, so she didn’t want the extra scrutiny. The gun was hidden in her car, and she figured that was the safest place for it with Cormac and his pack roaming around inside, so she didn’t bother to lock it away and had no reason to check on it till the murder.”
“She didn’t notice her gun was missing?” Peasblossom asked.
