He brings up my hand and places a light kiss right on top of the three blue stripes. “Then goodnight.”

  The corners of my lips curl upward as he releases me. As if in a dream, I make my way back downstairs and into the safety of my room.

  Quickly I strip off my uniform while the ghost of his touch lingers on my skin. My heart screams at me to go back and fall into his arms again . . . but my prefrontal cortex has kicked in and firmly orders me to stay inside my room.

  Reluctantly I obey since that part of my mind has served me pretty well over the years.

  I make quick work of washing up and brushing my teeth before I fall into bed, where the adrenaline rushing through every vein in my body forces my thoughts into overdrive.

  What if Jax or someone like him could really love me . . . not that what we just shared was love. I’m not ridiculous enough to believe that.

  But what if it were possible?

  For a few minutes I entertain the silly thoughts of me being a lady of the house . . . with my own closet full of dresses. I could even have my choice of any food I ever wanted and host a CPW myself. I’d have the rights of a full citizen . . . to do what I pleased.

  And maybe here I’d be willing to have a family. Carmine is not like the Tenement. Children have plenty to eat here and don’t have to grow up just to work long hours lining someone else’s pockets.

  If I married Jax, then I’d truly be Ellie’s aunt. So even if I didn’t have children, I’d always have her in my life. The idea ignites flutters in my middle. She would love that, and I would too.

  Can a Scarlet even marry a Cobalt? I don’t know the answer to that question. Scarlets have infinitely more rights, but I can’t imagine the union would ever be accepted even if there were a small chance it was legal.

  I grab my pillow and hug it while pushing away that last thought. In my fantasy my life can be whatever it wants to be, and silly or not I don’t need to worry about logistics or realism when something is relegated to my own head.

  A sigh exits my parted lips and I pinch at my gold heart charm. My thumb and forefinger polish over the smooth surface, and I can’t help but connect the shape to my own heart . . . hammering away inside my chest.

  Chapter 17

  The guards are about to change, and already the air in the house feels clearer.

  From a window upstairs I watch as Dr. and Mrs. Pierce stand next to the car. Madam has several bags packed and apparently will be gone for at least three days. That’s the word around the house.

  Ellie told me that her mother’s nerves have been shot since our trip into the city, and she needs a few days alone at their second home by the lake.

  I thought this place was more than enough and can’t imagine why anyone would need another home that stands largely empty most of the time. But many things about living as a Scarlet don’t make sense to me.

  Outside, Isaiah taps on his device and the back car door slides open for Mrs. Pierce. Dr. Pierce gives his wife a peck on the cheek and she steps into the vehicle. After several moments Isaiah is chauffeuring her off to her getaway through the black iron gates while Dr. Pierce waves.

  I turn and head back to my room to plan Ellie’s science lesson today. Without Madam here we can spend more time on it than normal.

  But no sooner do I activate my Flexx to begin working than Ellie bursts into my room. “She’s gone! Can you take me out to play?”

  “Ellie,” I scold her slightly and pocket my device. “You need to knock before you come in. I might be dressing or something.” The memory of Jax’s kiss the other night flickers in my mind. What if he came back to my room . . . heaven forbid that I ever risk something like that, especially during the day.

  Not that I should risk it at all. I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately.

  “I’m sorry.” She hangs her head.

  “I forgive you. Just try to remember next time.”

  She smiles and I notice that she isn’t wearing her typical too-fancy dress today. Instead she sports a cotton one-piece that looks like it has a skirt, but the bottom half is actually split into shorts . . . not a familiar style, but it does look like something better to romp around in.

  “If we go out to play, I may get in trouble,” I say.

  Ellie reaches down to the hem of her shorts, grabs each side and holds them out. “Father doesn’t mind. He’s the one who bought me play clothes. Mother hates them and makes me keep them at the back of my drawer.”

  I scan over her outfit and imagine the conversation between the Pierces. My guess is because Dr. Pierce is often away, he just keeps his wife happy by not making waves. But then he arranges things like play clothes and me giving his daughter science lessons to still have the upper hand behind her back.

  I always liked how my parents viewed themselves as a team.

  But if I’m honest, I don’t know Dr. Pierce well enough to make judgments on his motives. We’ve only met once.

  “Fine,” I say.

  Ellie’s grin grows from ear to ear and she bounces on her bare feet while clapping her hands.

  “But get some shoes on. We’re not going that far again.”

  The child spins on her heels and races back into her room. In no more than thirty seconds she’s back, socks and sensible shoes in hand. She flops onto the floor and proceeds to pull them on. “Okay, let’s go!” Ellie says when she’s done.

  I go to the door, open it, and find Jax walking toward us with a handled basket in hand. His smile goes wide, and he holds the mystery basket up toward us. “When the cat’s away—”

  I tip my head in confusion. “Cat?”

  “Never mind,” he says. “It’s an old saying.”

  Ellie steps out from behind me, races to the basket, and peeks inside. “Did you get food from the kitchen?”

  He nods. “All your favorites!”

  “Tuna?” She claps her hands together again.

  Jax grimaces. “Tuna? Why would I ever get tuna? It’s disgusting.”

  I gulp at his words. Jax has been so kind and done nothing to disparage Cobalts since I arrived . . . quite the opposite. Maybe he just doesn’t like it and it has nothing to do with being food for the lower class.

  Ellie throws her hand onto her hip. “Have you tried it?”

  Jax wrinkles his nose. “No? Why would I? Anyway, we can grab a blanket on the way and go outside to have a picnic.”

  I give him a weak smile, but he doesn’t seem to notice. So he isn’t interested in tuna. It’s not like everyone likes it. In fact, there are lots of Cobalts who don’t, so I shouldn’t read too much into the admission. Leaving my silly thoughts behind, I close the door and follow them down the hall.

  Downstairs, with a blanket retrieved from a linen closet, we head out into the garden. Fluffy clouds dot the sky, and the sight makes me forget the recent exchange and bring a smile to my lips. Inside the Tenement, clouds were obscured by the electrodome. Their movement was more like shadows. Rain could pass through and occasionally we’d have fog, but before coming here I never really understood how much clouds could look like cotton or that you could pick different shapes out of them. Ellie and I enjoyed one science lesson out in the rose garden with the specific intent to learn more about clouds.

  I’ll admit it was more for me than her.

  Overhead a small brown bird soars by, and I make a mental note that a little bird-watching would probably be ladylike enough for Ellie, and I could overlap a lesson into the activity. Ellie skips ahead as Jax continues past the rose garden farther out on the property into an area I haven’t been before.

  He walks beside me, still toting the basket and not speaking. Is he thinking about our kiss? Does he regret it? I can only guess that he wouldn’t be here if he regretted it too much. That would be incredibly awkward.

  Apple trees line the back of the property and a large grassy lawn stretches out before it. Everything is so beautiful. So opposite from the Tenement.

  “How about here?” Jax stops in the middle of the lawn and brings his attention to me.

  “Sure.” I unfold the blanket and spread it out on the ground.

  Just as I get it down, Ellie runs over and plops right in the center. “Did you bring dessert?” She makes for the basket but Jax pulls it away.

  “Wouldn’t you like to know?” He smiles and pulls open the closed top. From inside he draws out three paper-wrapped sandwiches, a handful of tiny easy-peel oranges that I know Ellie loves, and one last thing that makes my eyes widen . . . three miniature chocolate cakes, each with a tiny red frosting rose decorating the top. He eyes me as he says, “And guess what? Dessert first.”

  Ellie squeals in delight as he hands her a cake, and she takes half the confection in her mouth, smearing chocolate all over her chin in the process.

  Mrs. Pierce would just die on the spot if she saw.

  I want to reach out for mine, but I don’t dare. This is really too good to be true.

  Jax grins at his sister’s foolishness and then turns his gaze to me. “Would you like yours now?” He holds out the cake.

  “Yes, please.” I don’t need to be asked twice and take the treat from his hand. But then I have no idea what to do with it. The design is just too lovely to eat. Delicate chocolate glaze coats the outside, and the rose is swirled to perfection.

  “Are you just going to stare at it?” Ellie laughs.

  I give them a sheepish grin. “No.”

  “Then you have to put it in your mouth,” Jax instructs, his tone laced with sarcasm.

  I close my eyes, take in a big breath, and bring the cake to my lips. Gingerly I take my first bite.

  Sweet, bitter, smokey, fruity. All the flavors explode on my tongue and without meaning to, I let out an embarrassing moan.

  The two siblings break into rolling laughter and my eyes snap open.

  “Should we leave you alone with your cake, Tenly?” Jax asks.

  I furrow my brow. “Don’t ruin this moment for me!” My words surprise even myself, but by their amused expressions neither takes any offense.

  “Please . . . enjoy.” Jax grabs a sandwich, unwraps it and munches away while I finish my cake.

  Small bites. Very small bites, Tenly.

  The only thing that’s missing from this scenario is one person. The person I always wanted to share a chocolate cake with.

  * * *

  At the end of lunch I’m stuffed, but Ellie is up and in motion again. I guess she needs to take advantage of the situation since she rarely has the opportunity not to act like a mini adult.

  I lean back on my hands and spot someone walking along the sidewalk. Immediately I know it’s Kalib in his blue uniform . . . too late for the cake. Why is he here again? There’s no way that he has another letter for me. It’s way too soon. I purse my lips, then sigh. As much as I wanted him here in theory, he can’t keep coming to the house. It’s going to draw attention, and that’s the last thing that’s good for either of us.

  “Who’s that Cobalt?” Jax asks, breaking me from my thoughts.

  “He’s a courier, and his employer works for the CPW,” I say quickly. “He’s been here before.”

  Jax furrows his brow. “But why would he be coming out to the garden? He can just deliver anything to the house.”

  “I know him . . . from the Tenement.”

  “Oh?” Jax’s eyebrow pops up.

  My mind spins from Jax’s display of concern . . . or maybe even jealousy. But I’m probably just imagining it. “Not like that. Kalib was my upstairs neighbor . . . we’ve always been like brother and sister.”

  I don’t know if that statement is entirely true, but it’s not as if Kalib and I have ever done anything in the least romantic.

  “I should go talk to him, though, since I’m guessing he’s here to see me.” I stand and Jax catches my hand.

  That same electricity zips down my spine.

  “I’ll go keep Eleanor company. But don’t be long.” He releases me.

  A smile twists up the corners of my lips. “Oh, I doubt that he’ll be here for more than a few minutes.”

  Jax stands and jogs after Ellie and I make my way to Kalib. As we get closer, I can better see his expression, and something is off. His jaw is tight, but it’s not anger . . . it’s sadness.

  Gulping down my concern, I pick up the pace until we’re just a few feet apart. “What’s going on?”

  Before he answers, his eyes follow what must be Jax and Ellie before his attention returns to me. Without a word he takes me into his arms, and I know he’s crying. The last time this happened, his pop had been killed, and I was the only person who could calm Kalib down. He hides his big emotions most of the time, so it must be important if he’s this upset.

  My mind spins with what could be wrong. Did something happen to my parents? His sister or mom?

  I should keep holding him, but I need to know and pull slightly from the embrace. “What’s going on?”

  “I just can’t believe I left them. I don’t know what I was thinking.” His mumbled words come out quickly.

  “What happened?” I press.

  He finally gets the words out after a moment. “It’s Kayla.”

  My chest tightens and flushes. “What’s wrong with your sister? And how do you know?”

  Kalib gulps and wipes his face. “There was an accident in the factory she works in . . . she was hurt.”

  “But she’s going to be okay, right?” My mind spins with the possibilities. If he’s this upset, maybe she isn’t going to be.

  “I don’t know. All I was told was that it involved her hands and arms.”

  Kayla and Kalib’s mom depend on their hands since those are the tools of their talent. If Kayla loses the use of her hands, I don’t even know if she can work. And with Kalib gone, would his family be able to make it without Kayla’s income?

  Without a word I take Kalib into my arms again, and this time I allow myself just to give. He needs me now. We’re out here all alone, and the reality is that we only have each other. No one in Carmine understands what it means to be Cobalt unless you are one . . . not Ellie, not Jax.

  Kalib’s warm, trembling frame presses against me, and it feels right. More right than anything I know. I should be the one comforting my best friend. It should always be me. We remain in each other’s embrace for probably too long, but I can’t quite help it.

  Jax clears his throat from behind. “Maybe you should introduce us.”

  At his voice Kalib and I immediately split and step back from each other. I flit my attention behind him where Ellie is on the blanket staring this way. Jax must have told her to stay there.

  I wipe my face from the tears that have fallen. “Jax, this is Kalib Fisher. We knew each other from the Tenement.”

  Kalib steels himself and straightens his back. “Jax Pierce?”

  “That’s me,” Jax says. “So is everything okay?”

  My best friend lets out a long breath and glances my way. Something in his expression has changed, and now for whatever reason his concern moves to me.

  “Kalib’s sister, who’s also my friend, had an accident back home.” I say it a little too quickly, not allowing Kalib to answer. “We don’t know much, but it’s not good.”

  Jax stuffs his hands in his pockets, and I walk to his side. “That’s unfortunate. I hope everything will be okay.” He pauses for a moment. “You should be getting back to Ellie.”

  I gulp. Leaving Kalib is the last thing I want to do right now, but being here with him is technically against the house rules. Being out here with Jax and Ellie is one thing that the other staff likely won’t touch, but another Cobalt? That’s a different story.

  “Jax is right,” I say to Kalib. “I have to go.”

  Kalib leans in, only training his eyes on me. “Can we just have a moment more?”

  Before I even ask, Jax says, “Sure, and you know the way out.” Before going back to Ellie, he places his hand on my shoulder and gives me a look I can’t read.

  In silence Kalib eyes Jax as he walks away from us. Finally he steps in and whispers, “Don’t get too friendly with him.”

  Like his words punch me in the gut, I step back. “What do you mean by that?”

  “What I said.”

  Sudden anger simmers in my core, a complete reversal of minutes before. “You just met Jax.”

  Kalib lowers his chin. “He’s a Scarlet . . . and I’ve heard things.”

  “Things?” I want to raise my voice but know it would be unwise. “What kind of things?”

  “Just trust me, Ten.”

  “Not all Scarlets are the horrible people we thought they were,” I insist.

  Kalib eyes the ground. “I need to go. Please just promise me that you’ll be careful.”

  I scoff. “When have you ever known me not to be careful?”

  He rubs the back of his neck. “I’ll try to send you a message about Kayla when I know more.” With that he turns and takes the path around the house and disappears from sight.

  My stomach tightens with guilt because part of me knows that Kalib is correct. I’m taking too many risks, getting too comfortable here.

  But I barely have time to process the thoughts because as I turn to walk back to the picnic, Ellie lets out a scream.

  Chapter 18

  Before I dash to Ellie, I quickly glance back to the way Kalib went around the house, but he must be gone since there’s no sign of him.

  Ellie wails again, and I rush toward her and Jax. In the distance something flops around on the ground a few feet from them, but I can’t yet make out what it is. When I get there, Jax is holding Ellie back from what I now see is a twitching bird, a sparrow.

  The tiny brown beast’s head and eyes look swollen, and some type of discharge seeps from its nasal passages. I grimace at the sight.

  “You can’t touch it, Eleanor. It’s disgusting.” Jax grasps her arms as she struggles against him, still sobbing for the wretched bird.

  “But it’s in pain! It needs help.”

 

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