Christmas with the Cowboy, page 15
“A young teen. Which is an emotional time, if I remember correctly.”
“It is.”
“I won’t shortchange her, and I don’t know how to juggle the two sides now that I’m the caretaker.”
“Did you ever talk to Candice about this?”
“I…no. I did not discuss my dating protocols with my ex.”
“Maybe you should have.”
“Here’s the thing—Lex needed me last night and I wasn’t there.”
“Your mom was.”
“I should have been there. I have a responsibility, and Lex has to be my primary focus.”
Trenna studied her hands as the truth hit her. This was it. The sign from the universe she’d been waiting for. The indication of what she needed to do.
She looked up, meeting his gaze squarely. “I’m considering a job on the other side of the country.”
“Really.” The emotion that played across Reed’s face as he spoke was not the relief Trenna had expected. It read more like confusion. Or maybe déjà vu because she was leaving him again. But in this case, he’d started the process, so she wasn’t the bad guy. Not that she felt any better because of it.
“When did this happen?” he asked.
“Not long ago.” She described Dr. Gilbert’s call and her sense that if she applied, she’d land the position. “It’s not one hundred percent, of course, but he is my mentor, and he likes working with me.”
“Were you going to tell me about it?”
“Not if I didn’t apply,” she said before meeting his eyes. “I didn’t want you to think that I gave up the perfect job for”—she gestured—“you.”
“So you are applying?”
“This is a huge opportunity.”
And there you are, Reed. Set free.
Reed’s mouth flattened, as if he didn’t trust himself to speak, so Trenna forged on, strengthening her case with a dose of truth she’d been tamping down because she didn’t want to acknowledge it. “I’ve been lying to myself, Reed. I can’t continue being in limbo with you, not even for spectacular sex. It’s not enough.”
She wanted more.
Tears started to prick the corners of her eyes as she realized how much more, but she blinked them back. Damned if she was going to muddy the waters by crying.
“You’re right.” Reed pressed a hand to his forehead. “You’re right.” He dropped his hand. “We can’t half-ass this.”
“No,” Trenna agreed softly as she wrapped her arms around herself. The self-hug was inadequate as far as comfort went, but it kept her hands where they needed to be. Away from Reed.
He studied the floor then glanced up at her, an unreadable expression on his face. “I wish things were—”
Trenna cut him off with a look. She was not going to draw this out, and she was not going to risk crying.
“Don’t,” she said softly. “Just…don’t.”
Chapter Thirteen
Trenna called Audrey the morning after Reed’s visit to say that she needed to take a couple days off. She almost said, “To deal with a personal matter,” but Audrey was astute, and Trenna wasn’t going to risk Reed’s mom guessing that the personal matter concerned her eldest son.
Audrey assured her that it was a good time for a short break. They’d worked their way through most of the material, and she had a system in place for organizing. The next step would be scanning before storing, and Audrey had decided to purchase a state-of-the-art scanner—her Christmas present to herself—which would not arrive until after the holidays. Trenna promised to come back after Christmas, hoping that by then she’d be at peace with the situation between her and Reed—which was, of course, no situation—and waiting for word on the Shardlow job.
Of course to do that, she needed to apply.
Two days in and she had done little more than open the application and close it again. The deadline was looming, and she was not acting.
Was Shardlow really her dream job?
Maybe her professional dreams had changed. Maybe this stint with the community college in Marietta was more than a stopgap until she found a bigger and better job. Maybe she needed to delve deeply into hometown history and make that her forte.
Maybe she was looking for an excuse to stay close to Reed and keep reopening the wound.
It was that thought that set her into action.
Once again, she opened the link Dr. Gilbert had sent, only this time she began filling in fields, not allowing herself to stop until she’d finished and proofread twice. Finally, she pushed the submit button and then leaned back in her chair as the application launched into cyberspace.
Done and done.
Trenna shut the laptop, got up and poured herself a healthy glass of chardonnay, then leaned against the kitchen doorjamb as she sipped, contemplating the sparsely decorated Christmas tree.
She would miss Lex, and Lex’s dad, but facts had to be faced. Even if she stayed in Marietta—which was a possibility, because despite Dr. Gilbert, there might be a more favored candidate—she was not going to beat her head on this rock.
It hurt too much.
A little before three o’clock on the day of the fundraising soiree at the lodge, she put the black sparkly tube dress into a canvas tote on top of strappy black shoes and dropped her makeup kit on top. The plan was for her to arrive early and help Dawn with the last-minute details. Not that Dawn would need help. She was a wonder at organization, but she’d asked, and Trenna agreed. Funny how everything with her dad was a matter of strategy. Do this to get that. She would play nicely with Dawn, and in return she’d be in a better position to negotiate with her dad if need be.
Nothing had come of the Keller adverse possession issue, that she knew of, and although the wheels of justice turned slowly, she was hopeful that her father had given up on the matter. Dawn had hinted as much the last time they’d spoken, and Trenna was keeping her fingers crossed. Maybe her dad would be decent about this. Yes, he had a shot in court—she’d investigated the matter—but maybe some of the things she’d said had taken hold.
Or maybe he decided stealing a strip of land wasn’t worth the trouble.
The latter was more likely, but she didn’t care if he stopped pursuing adverse possession because she’d asked him to or because he ultimately decided it wasn’t worth the legal expense as long as he dropped the matter. Regardless of what had happened between her and Reed, she would always have a soft spot for the Kellers.
She was on her way out the door when her phone rang. It was Audrey, so she answered, and was then surprised to find Daniel on the line. “I have a favor to ask,” he said simply.
“Shoot.”
“It involves Christmas. I need some help.”
*
Lex and Reed celebrated Lex’s last day of online classes with hot apple cider. They’d just added the cinnamon sticks when they got a call from Candice saying that Gregg’s pneumonia was under control, and they would proceed with the first treatment in a matter of days. Lex downed her now lukewarm cider in a couple of gulps after saying goodbye to her mother.
“I feel like baking,” she said.
“I would have thought you’d gotten enough of that preparing for the library bake sale.”
“Never enough,” she said, tucking her cookbook under her arm. “I’m going to Grandma’s. She’s got all the good ingredients.”
They left the house together, parting ways when Daniel waved to Reed from where he was hooking up the stock trailer.
“I’m going to get the mare,” he announced. “I told Lex I was hauling yearlings for a friend yesterday, so she shouldn’t suspect.”
Reed very much doubted that his daughter would suspect that her grandfather driving away with the stock trailer meant she was getting a horse, but he kept the thought to himself. Instead, he asked the obvious question.
“So how exactly are you going to smuggle the mare home under Lex’s nose and keep her out of sight?”
“Easy,” Daniel said as he connected the trailer’s electric cord to the truck. “I’m keeping her at Trenna’s for a couple of days. I’ll leave the trailer there and pick the mare up when I go out to feed on Christmas morning.”
It made sense. Trenna only lived a few miles away. She had the small enclosure behind her house, which would be perfect for an overnight stay. And, of course, his folks had no idea about what had happened between them. He hoped.
“Good plan,” he said.
“I thought so,” Daniel said. He patted the side of the truck.
“Henry and I won’t be able to get to the north fence today,” Reed said. “The snow’s too deep.”
He and Daniel’s colt had had some hard rides through the snow, the result being that Boomer was a much calmer boy, and Reed felt better about his dad getting on him. Maybe he would be the next Ralph.
“Boomer’s coming along.”
“I knew he would,” Daniel said matter of factly.
Reed knew horses, too, but he hadn’t been so certain. “How’s that?”
“Ralph was pretty much the same.”
“I thought he’d been a lot calmer.”
Daniel leaned on the frosty truck bed. “No. But I got him when you were distracted by other matters. Trenna and whatever trouble came your way.” His dad smiled. “You and Ralph had your moments when you were young, but you both came out trustworthy and reliable.” He smiled. “You know what they say.”
Reed shook his head.
“The wildest colts make the best horses.” In response to Reed’s skeptical look, his dad added, “It takes patience to wait for the wild to wear off. Some people don’t have it.” His lips twitched at the corner. “I’m just glad your mom did.”
*
Trenna left before Daniel Keller showed up with the horse with which he was surprising Lex on Christmas morning. To be on the safe side, she locked Bruno in the house so that horse could settle in without having to contend with a roaring dog.
Frankly, coming home from Dawn’s soiree to see the mare was going to be the high point of her evening. She figured if she arrived early and helped, no one would complain if she left at nine, instead of ten, which was the official end time of the party. Not that it would end there. Dawn’s parties rarely did.
As she pulled up to the lodge, she was struck by how much she’d prefer being home admiring Lex’s tree than to be here, playing the game. But she was going to play nice. Make Dawn happy.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” Dawn said as Trenna came in through the side door. Three women she didn’t know were laying out trays in preparation for canapés and small desserts. In the living room, in the corner farthest from the giant stone fireplace where guests would no doubt linger, another woman was setting up a bar. Trenna had no doubt that the traffic patterns had been studied and planned in advance. Dawn was very good at what she did.
“Do you have something for me to do?”
“Talk to me and keep me from getting nervous.”
As if. Dawn was a master hostess.
“Anything else?”
“You might pop in and see your dad.”
Trenna smiled. Dawn really wanted a peaceful family experience, and basically so did she. There was only one person getting in the way of that, and while it kind of fried her to have to kowtow to his ego, she knew without a doubt that her dad wasn’t going to change. The best she could hope for was a little redirection at the proper moment.
“I’ll do that, then get dressed.”
“The guests are due to start arriving at five.”
Which gave her forty minutes to talk to her dad, then make the excuse that she needed to get dressed.
She tapped on his study door, then opened it to find her quarry at work behind a computer screen.
“Hi,” she said.
“I’m glad you decided to come.”
“Glad to be here.”
He gave her a look as if wondering if she was being sarcastic, but Trenna maintained her pleasant expression. It wasn’t exactly a lie.
“Would you like a drink to take the edge off?” Carter shut off his monitor as she approached his desk.
“I would. Bourbon.”
She watched as he poured into heavy crystal glasses. This was why Dawn had wanted her to come early. Not to help, but to spend time with her dad.
Too little, too late.
The thought flitted through her brain as her dad handed her the glass, which she lifted in a silent toast. It was true. He hadn’t been around much as she’d grown up, having chosen to pursue his business instead. He wasn’t the only man to make that choice, and she’d come to terms with the fact that, despite her hero worship, her dad wasn’t a paternal man. He didn’t connect easily with people, but he expected them to connect to him. And she, his only child, was supposed to be a reflection of him rather than someone forging a life of her own.
He was never going to be a real dad, and while she accepted that, it still brought on a pang of regret.
But she didn’t need a dad-like dad. She’d adapted to her situation. Made the best of it. That was what Hunts did. As she thought about it, she wouldn’t know what to do with a dad-like dad. She provided her own emotional support, and if things got really dicey, she called Jill.
“So all systems are go on your holiday trip?” she asked after taking a sip of bourbon.
“As far as I know. The crew is coming to clean tomorrow, and we’ll be on the Gulf Coast the day after.”
“I admire your stamina.”
He smiled and sipped his drink, making Trenna wonder how long the silence would stretch on if she didn’t break it. She was tempted to see, since she could watch the grandfather clock behind her dad’s chair, but instead she said, “How about those Cats?” referencing the Montana State basketball team.
Carter leaned forward in his chair. “Looking good so far.”
She’d played high school basketball because of her father’s love of the game. She’d been good, too, and it was one of the things they could discuss without uncomfortable silences.
“But their forward—”
Carter waved a hand. “As I understand it, they don’t expect him to miss that many games. Some rehab and he’s good to go, plus, Anderson is a competent replacement.”
“He doesn’t have the height.”
“But he’s quick.”
Trenna nursed her drink as they talked, not wanting a buzzy head. She was comfortable with sports talk, and Dawn would be thrilled that the office door had stayed closed for so long.
“I should help Dawn,” Trenna said after finishing the last drops of bourbon. She reached for her dad’s empty glass. “I’ll take these to the kitchen.”
“Thanks.” He swiveled in his chair and brought up his computer screen again.
“What are you working on?”
Carter gave her his blank look, the one that he hid behind when he didn’t want to share details, then his expression relaxed.
“I’m thinking of turning the lodge back into a lodge.”
Trenna’s mouth started to open, then she closed it again. “Really?”
“We would maintain family living quarters and stay here for part of the year, but…I think with tourism on the rise and such, it’d be a good move. It would, of course be exclusive.”
Trenna raised her eyebrows. “Of course. What about the cattle operation?”
“It would continue, of course. Mason is a competent man. He’d run that side of things while I’m gone.”
“It would be a lot like when I was growing up.”
It was a subtle dig, and she needn’t have bothered because her father didn’t notice.
“Dawn prefers warm weather, and I have to admit that the Montana winters take a little out of me, too.”
Then why did you make an offer on the Keller Ranch?
Instinct told her not to ask. Best to leave well enough alone until she had more information.
*
“No offense, Dad, but you’re a bad present wrapper.”
“That’s why you’re the creative director.”
She watched as he taped the end of the package, catching the tape on his thumb before pulling it free. “Couldn’t you have had the store wrap your presents?”
“Where’s the fun in that?”
Lex lifted her eyebrow as she studied the lumpy package holding the wild rag and slide that Reed had just secured. “Maybe a box would have helped.”
“This has character.” He set the present in the pile. “Besides, Grandpa knows what he’s getting from me.”
“Wild rag from you, a shirt from Aunt Emmie, a gift certificate from Uncle Cade because he hates shopping, and expensive socks from Uncle Spence.”
“I think it was Mom’s way of keeping Dad in clothing. Cade’s present used to be socks, but he rebelled after junior high, so Spence took over.”
“Socks are kind of lame.”
“Uh-oh.” Reed gave her a look and Lex’s eyes went wide.
“You did not get me socks…did you?”
“If I got you socks, they would be the cool kind. Electric. But I didn’t.”
“Then what did you get me?” Lex held up a hand. “No. Don’t tell me.”
“I wasn’t going to.” He reached for his mom’s present, but Lex batted his hand away. “I think you should make cocoa and leave the wrapping to the experts.”
“Fine.” He got to his feet, pulling a stray piece of tape off his shirt as he headed into the kitchen.
“Are you sure Trenna has plans for Christmas?” she called from the living room as he filled the kettle.
It was the second time she’d asked in what he assumed she thought was a casual tone, and the second time his gut had twisted at the mention of her name.
“Positive.”
“Her family isn’t going to be home.”
He didn’t think that really mattered.
Lex continued from the living room, her voice half muffled as she bent over the present she was precision wrapping, “But since they don’t talk, I guess that’s not a thing. You don’t think that’ll happen to us, do you?”
Reed made a sputtering noise. “No.”
“So I could really do something horrible—”
