Bitter Winter, page 22
part #5 of Ilyon Chronicles Series
Trask’s heart thumped. Though it took almost all the strength he had, he pushed himself up to his elbow so he could face her better. “You thought you were pregnant?”
Her chin dipped in a quick nod.
“Are you sure you’re not?” The thought of having a child was . . .
“Unfortunately, I’m sure.” She gave him a sad little smile.
They both fell silent for a moment. Trask hadn’t even had a chance to think she might be pregnant before learning she wasn’t, yet a keen disappointment took hold.
“I suppose it’s for the best,” she said. “With all the stress, or if I still get sick, I might have miscarried. It’s not the best time for a baby anyway.”
Trask reached out for her hand again. “Any time is good for a baby.”
A smile finally bloomed on her face once more. “You think so?”
“Absolutely.” He drew her closer. “And just because you aren’t pregnant now doesn’t mean you won’t be in the near future.”
They shared a grin and another kiss.
* * *
All day Jace waited and watched for Kyrin to wake up again while helping her brothers get more fluids into her. She didn’t wake up, but at least her fever had broken. The waiting remained difficult, though. Jace found himself caught between the desire to let Elôm work the way He willed and his concern. It took nearly constant prayer to hold onto that peace he’d felt earlier in the woods. But he’d meant what he’d told Elôm. Whatever Elôm willed for Kyrin, Jace would accept it.
Sometime after a quiet supper, Kaden approached Jace. “Why don’t you get some rest?”
Jace hesitated. It was just so hard to leave Kyrin.
“You’re going to end up killing yourself with lack of sleep. Then what would we tell Kyrin?”
Jace had to smile at Kaden’s firm tone. It was the same one Kyrin used when he was being foolishly stubborn. No doubt he’d hear it plenty of times as Kyrin’s husband.
He looked up at Kaden and nodded. “All right.”
Kaden looked both surprised and relieved. “Why don’t you sleep in the loft? Marcus, Liam, and I will take turns watching Kyrin. We’ll wake you if there’s any change.”
Jace nodded again, staring at Kyrin’s face. He wanted a turn watching her too, but that wouldn’t speed her recovery, and he needed a full night’s rest more than he wanted to admit. Every ache and weakness in his body proved this as he pushed himself up from his chair. He brushed his fingers gently against Kyrin’s cheek and then turned toward the loft. Murmuring goodnight to Kyrin’s brothers, he climbed the ladder.
In the loft, he paused and scanned the small area. This was where Kyrin and her mother usually slept. Jace’s gaze touched each of her things, imagining them in their own cabin. If they’d been married already, he could have fallen asleep at her side. Soon, he told himself. Elôm willing, that would come soon.
Chapter Twenty-four
Jace blinked his eyes open, the warm comfort of sleep fading slowly. He didn’t remember the last time he’d slept so soundly. Morning light shone through the windows downstairs. As comfortable as he was, his thoughts turned immediately to Kyrin, and he pushed back the covers.
Below him, dishes clinked quietly and male voices murmured. A female voice joined in, and Jace’s pulse quickened. Yet, listening closer, he recognized Lydia’s voice, not Kyrin’s. He tamped down disappointment. Just because it wasn’t her didn’t mean she wouldn’t be improved this morning.
He got up, straightened out his sleep-wrinkled clothing, and buckled on his jerkin before descending the ladder. His gaze went straight to Kyrin’s bed. Her eyes were closed, and Marcus sat beside her. Jace walked over to them.
“How is she?”
“Better, it seems.” Marcus smiled.
Jace studied Kyrin’s face. She did look better, like she slept peacefully and not on the verge of death. He prayed a night of rest without fighting the fever would make all the difference in her recovery.
Relieved, Jace looked around the cabin. Lydia sat propped up in bed, her expression weary but alert. Ronny occupied the chair next to her while Kaden and Liam worked on breakfast.
“You can sit here.” Marcus rose from his chair.
“Thank you.” Jace switched places with him and scooted the chair a little closer to the bed. Careful not to wake her, he slipped his hand under hers and cradled it, gently rubbing his thumb over her fingers. She was so beautiful. He’d never wanted anything the way he wanted to love and cherish her for the rest of their lives.
The morning passed quietly, the oppressiveness of fear and worry not nearly so heavy. Kyrin’s brothers took turns getting much needed rest, and Jace eventually visited with Rayad. Though still weak, Rayad seemed much more like himself.
When Jace returned to the Altair cabin shortly before noon, he noticed Kyrin stirring as he hung up his coat. He hurried to her side just as her eyes fluttered open. They rested on him, clear, vivid, and alert. Her soft lips turned up as she smiled at him.
“How do you feel?” he asked.
She drew a deep breath and shifted under the covers. “Weak… but better.”
A full grin came easily to Jace. “Good.”
Her eyes shifted past him, her smile returning. “Hey.”
Jace looked over to see all her brothers gathered around the bed.
“You’re always fussing and worrying over us,” Kaden said in a teasingly scolding tone, “but here you’re the one who worried us all sick.”
Kyrin breathed a tiny laugh. “I’m sorry.” She seemed to take in their faces, and the humor faded, her forehead wrinkling. “Where’s Mother?”
“I’m here.”
Kyrin turned her head to her mother’s voice. Lydia had propped herself up to look over at Kyrin. Her brown eyes filled with moisture, but she smiled widely.
“You were sick?” Kyrin asked.
Lydia nodded. “Yes, but thanks to Jace, we’re all recovering.”
Kyrin slowly tipped her head back to look up at him. “You got the remedy?”
Still holding her hand, Jace squeezed it gently. “Yes.”
She smiled softly again. “I knew you would.”
Jace’s own smile faltered at what had almost happened in Valcré. He would have to tell her. But for now, he would just revel in her recovery.
“Kyrin, do you want some broth?” Marcus asked.
“Yes, please. I am a bit hungry.”
“We should hope so,” Kaden said, sitting down at the foot of the bed. “You’ve been sick for ten days. I would’ve died of starvation by now.”
Kyrin raised her brows at him. “Ten days?”
They all nodded.
As Jace helped Liam prop an extra pillow behind Kyrin, she looked up at him, her face strained with concern.
“How is Rayad?”
Jace rested his hand on her shoulder. “He is recovering well. I just visited with him this morning.”
Kyrin let out a long breath. “Thank Elôm.”
“You’re the one we’ve all worried about,” Jace told her quietly. “The fever hit you hard. For a while, the remedy didn’t seem to be working.”
She gazed at him soberly and, with effort, reached up to place her hand over his. “I’m sorry I worried you so.”
No doubt she could see the toll these days had taken on him.
Jace shook his head. “It’s all right. I learned a great deal about faith and trusting Elôm while waiting for you to recover.”
* * *
Kyrin slept for most of the next two days, but each day she grew a little stronger. Now that the danger had passed, Jace moved back into his cabin, though he still spent most of his time with the Altairs.
On the third morning, he visited with Rayad, who was now sitting up in bed and getting a bit restless, before heading over to see Kyrin. She was awake when he walked in and had a smile for him that immediately set his heart to praising Elôm for her recovery. Jace nodded in greeting to Lydia, who stood at the table kneading dough. Though she still took it easy at her sons’ insistence, she was clearly happy to work around the cabin again. Jace looked for Kaden and the others, but it appeared they had all gone out. Perfect. It would give him a chance to talk to Kyrin in relative privacy.
He took his seat and smiled at her, resisting the urge to give her a good kiss. There would be time enough for that soon, he hoped.
“You look much better today.” She looked adorable, actually, with her mussed up hair and healthy color returning to her cheeks, but such observations just tempted him more and he reined them in.
The playful sparkle in her eyes suggested she read his thoughts. “At least I can lift my head and arms now without feeling like they’re tied down. How are the others?”
“Everyone is doing very well. Josef is back on his feet, though Leetra keeps a close eye on him and orders him to lie down if she thinks he’s overdoing it.”
Kyrin laughed merrily at this.
Jace chuckled too. “Timothy has to keep reminding her that Josef’s not a child.”
Kyrin shook her head, still giggling. “How are they getting along?”
“Well, you know Leetra. No one but you could probably tell how much she’s missed him, but Timothy can’t stop smiling and is spending as much time with her as he can. She’s not discouraging him, so I wouldn’t say anything has changed since he left.”
“Good.” Kyrin readjusted her blankets with a satisfied look. “I do hope he and Aaron can stay for a bit.” She cast him a cute little grin. “At least long enough for our wedding.”
They hadn’t spoken of their betrothal since she’d woken up, but Jace welcomed the topic. “When do you want to have it?”
“As soon as I can walk ten paces without falling over.”
Jace had to laugh. He’d see to it she was a little more recovered than that. “A couple of weeks then?”
Kyrin nodded.
This suited Jace just fine. The sooner the better in his mind. “I guess we should start planning then. I’ll talk to Trask about it now that he’s up and about.”
“I just want it small,” Kyrin said. “I know we don’t have enough food for a celebration feast, and that’s all right. I just want to get married.”
Jace smiled, gazing at her. How was it possible to love someone even more with every moment you spent with them? “That sounds perfect.” He leaned over and placed a kiss on her forehead. How wonderful to feel the natural warmth of her skin and not the burning heat of fever.
As he pulled away, she looked into his eyes and asked, “What was it like in Valcré?”
Jace settled in his chair with a wince. He hated to speak of it, especially just after discussing their wedding, but it was time to tell her. He took her hand in his. By now, concern had furrowed her brow, her expression gently seeking answers.
He fortified himself with a quick prayer. “I almost did something terrible, and I am ashamed at how close I came to doing it.”
Quietly, he told her everything that had taken place in Valcré. Just as he’d come to expect from her, she looked on him with nothing but compassion and love in her eyes, even as he confessed how weak his faith had been. When he finished, a bit of a burden lifted, though lingering guilt still clung stubbornly.
Kyrin squeezed his hand. “You didn’t do it, Jace. You thought about it, but you knew it was wrong and you didn’t go through with it.”
She was right, of course, though he still hated how close he had come to doing it at all. “I just lost faith in that moment. I didn’t know if Elôm would save you, and I felt I had to do it myself. I was just so afraid to lose you.”
She smiled lovingly at him. “I know. But just look at how Elôm took your weakness and used it for good anyway. If you hadn’t been caught by Reynold’s men, you wouldn’t have overheard that they were going after Avery. He would have been taken to Davira and killed, and many more would have died here without the remedy.”
Jace shook his head as he pondered it. What an incredible thing. Mortals could mess things up so terribly, yet Elôm could still use their mistakes to bring about good.
* * *
Kyrin rested against her pillow, basking in the warm emotions of her visit with Jace. It pained her deeply to think of what he’d gone through in Valcré and having to watch her on the verge of death. Yet, the pain didn’t quite stifle the giddy fluttering in her chest at the thought of their wedding. A couple of weeks! In only days, she would be Kyrin Ilvaran, Jace’s wife! She’d wanted it for so long. If only she were well enough to marry him now, but she would strive to practice patience in the next two weeks.
Smiling to herself, lost in daydreams, she almost didn’t notice her mother rustling around up in the loft. When she came down the ladder, she had a long bundle draped over her arm. Kyrin peered at it curiously as she walked toward her.
Her mother laid the bundle across the end of the bed and loosened the ribbons that held it together. “I couldn’t help overhearing your wedding plans.”
She shared a smile of delight with Kyrin.
“I thought now would be the perfect time to show you this.” Her mother reached into the bundle and lifted up a simple yet beautifully elegant, long-sleeved white gown. Kyrin’s heart skipped a beat. She’d seen that dress once before when she was just a little girl.
“It’s your wedding dress,” she said, breathlessly.
Her mother nodded, her eyes misty. “Yes. I brought it back when we visited Mernin. I thought… maybe you would like to wear it.”
Kyrin pushed herself up higher in bed to see the dress better, but it blurred in a rush of moisture. To wed Jace in the same dress her mother had worn to marry her father…
She nodded, sniffling as tears tracked down her face. “I would love to.”
Her mother smiled, tears running down her cheeks as well. “You’ll look lovely in it.” She laid the dress down gently. “I told your brothers to bring us a tub. I think both of us could use a warm bath.”
Kyrin wiped at her wet cheeks, nodding eagerly. She might not be able to walk farther than the fireplace, but she’d been in this bed for far too long.
“Perhaps after, if you’re up to it, you can try the dress on and we’ll see if any alterations need to be made.”
Kyrin could hardly wait.
A short while later, Kyrin’s brothers returned, tromping in with a metal tub between them, full of snow to melt near the fire. They set it down next to the hearth and eagerly took part in the lunch their mother had waiting for them. Once the snow melted, their mother added kettles of boiling water to it and shooed the boys out once more. Drawing the curtains for privacy, she turned to Kyrin.
“You can go first.”
Kyrin sat up and slipped her legs over the side of the bed. Her mother put a supporting arm around her waist, helping her toward the fireplace. Kyrin’s leg muscles shook like they hadn’t been used in ages, but she made it across the cabin and braced herself as her mother helped her undress. Stepping into the tub and sinking down into the water, she sighed. Yes, this was every bit as heavenly as she imagined it would be.
With her mother’s help, she scrubbed her skin and hair, and then rinsed it well. Nodding in satisfaction, her mother said, “You can just soak for a bit, and I’ll change the sheets on your bed.”
“Are you sure?” Kyrin didn’t want her mother overexerting herself.
“This won’t take long. I’ll be fine.”
Kyrin didn’t have much energy to argue, so she just rested back against the tub and closed her eyes, drifting on the edge of consciousness until her mother finished. She helped Kyrin out of the tub, drying her off and wrapping her in a blanket to sit by the fire where her hair would dry faster. Adding a couple more kettles of hot water, she took her turn in the bath.
For a long while, silence settled as Kyrin stared at the logs in the fireplace and thought back over the days she was sick. The fever had brought vivid dreams, many of her father. She pulled her blanket more tightly around herself, longing for his hugs and loving voice.
Before she could let herself get overwhelmed with emotion, she focused on the bits and pieces she remembered that weren’t dreams. She glanced at her mother. “Aric was here while I was sick.”
“Yes, he was a big help to me and then to the boys.”
Kyrin frowned at the fire, a hazy image floating in her mind. How odd to have a memory that wasn’t clear. Still, she remembered it. It wasn’t the same as the dream images. “I saw him holding you.”
The bath water swished, and Kyrin looked over at her mother. Her expression was tense.
“It’s all right,” Kyrin said quickly. “I’m glad he was here… and I’m glad he cares.” She paused for a moment. She wasn’t often wrong about such things. “Maybe I’m reading too much into this, but… don’t feel bad if you are interested in Aric.”
Her mother looked down at the water, her voice quiet. “He’s been very kind and . . .” She seemed to struggle for words.
“I know it’s hard because of Father.” Kyrin’s chest squeezed with memories. “I think we all want to hold onto him as much as we can, but I do think he would want someone here to take care of you if you found the right person. Aric was one of his best friends. I think that would make him happy.”
Tears rolled down her mother’s face, rippling the water as they dripped off her chin. Kyrin had to wipe her own cheeks.
Her mother nodded shakily before finally looking at her. “I don’t know if that is really what’s happening, but thank you. I wouldn’t want to do anything that would upset you or your brothers.”
Kyrin sent her an encouraging smile. “I think we all understand how important it is to have people in our lives who love us and are there for us with all that’s going on. I don’t think that would upset them.”
A trembling smile graced her mother’s lips and she nodded. Reaching up, she wiped her face and drew a breath. She then grabbed a towel and got out of the tub. Once she was clothed, she offered Kyrin a much stronger smile. “Do you want to try on the dress?”
