“So Alexa,” Heather said as she poured the sangria, “do you live here in Santa Monica?”

  Alexa glanced around the room to see if the others were all looking at her. Not yet, at least. How long ago had Heather and Drew dated? She wondered if the ranks were going to close against her like with Molly’s bridesmaids at the wedding.

  “No, just here for the weekend. I live up in Berkeley, actually.”

  Lucy’s eyes shot to her face. What had she said?

  “Are you from there? What do you do up there?” Lucy took a sip of her own sangria without her eyes leaving Alexa’s face.

  “Yeah. I mean, yeah, I’m from the Bay Area. I work for the mayor of Berkeley.”

  The other three women burst out laughing. She looked around at the four of them with raised eyebrows.

  “What did I say?” Was this going to be like junior high, where people would corner you and laugh in your face?

  Robin took a sip of her sangria and grinned.

  “Oh, we’re just laughing because we know Lucy isn’t going to leave your side for the rest of the night.”

  Lucy rolled her eyes.

  “Don’t worry, they’re making fun of me, not you. See, I keep talking about quitting my job as a teacher and going to law school, and the law school at Berkeley is supposed to be great for the kind of law I want to do. But just because you work for the mayor and live there doesn’t mean you’re an expert on the law school . . . does it?”

  Alexa held her glass out to Heather for a refill.

  “Maybe not an expert, but I did graduate from Berkeley Law School, so . . .”

  Lucy crossed the room so fast she almost knocked into Heather.

  “Tell me everything.”

  • • •

  After Alexa went inside, Drew got his share of teasing from Luke and Brendan.

  “Good God, you should see the way you look at her,” Luke said. “It’s like me when I’m looking at . . .”

  “A really fat sausage?” Brendan suggested.

  “Oh, shut up, both of you,” Drew said, after Luke and Brendan recovered from their peals of laughter.

  “No, no, but it’s cute,” Brendan said. “Look at you—you keep glancing toward the house to see if she’s coming back and trying to pretend that you’re just looking at your drink.”

  Drew shifted his eyes back in their direction. Okay, fine, they caught him looking for her. He was just trying to make sure she made it back outside okay. No, that excuse didn’t even work in his own head.

  Eventually, Kat, another doctor at the hospital, came over to them.

  “Hey, Drew,” she said. “Did I see you running on the beach yesterday? I shouted to you, but if it was you, you didn’t answer.” Kat lived not far from him, and they went running together sometimes.

  “Around noon? Yeah, that was me. I guess I was preoccupied. Sorry I didn’t say hi.” He glanced toward the house again.

  “Huh, what could you have been preoccupied with this weekend?” Brendan said, between bites of hot dog. “Or should I say, who?”

  “You two are such assholes,” Drew said. He didn’t know if they heard him through their laughter.

  • • •

  “Enough law school talk,” Heather ordered. By this time, they were all sitting around the kitchen table. “Let’s talk about something more interesting. Alexa, how did you meet Drew?”

  Hmm, which story was she supposed to tell? They hadn’t really discussed that.

  “We met at a wedding.” She took another sip. Oh well, if Drew didn’t want her to tell the truth, he should have told her their cover story before she’d had all of this sangria. “Sort of. In the elevator a few days before his ex-girlfriend’s wedding, actually. He needed a date, and I was free that night, so . . .”

  The whole table cracked up, Alexa included.

  “Oh, that’s such a Drew story,” Robin said. “Meets a girl in an elevator, convinces her to go with him to a wedding that night.”

  “It wasn’t that night. It was . . .”

  Emma broke in.

  “Was this that wedding in May? Oh man, I was supposed to go with him to that wedding, but my dad had surgery so I couldn’t go.”

  Wait, this was that Emma? Had everyone at this table dated Drew?

  “Has everyone at this table dated Drew?” Shit, she probably shouldn’t have said that out loud. But at least now she’d get an answer.

  “Not me!” Lucy said. But Heather, Emma, and Robin all rose their hands. Huh.

  “He’s a sweetheart,” Robin said. “We had a great time while it lasted.”

  Everyone else at the table nodded.

  “How long did . . . Why did it end?” Alexa asked them. What was she supposed to do, not ask these women who had all dated Drew that, when she was both tipsy and had been thinking about that very topic for days? She did not have that much willpower.

  Heather was the one who answered her.

  “At least for me, it was when it was going really well. I was starting to think . . . well, whatever, I’ve been over it for a while. But after about two months, he came over one night and gave me a little speech about how it was best to end things when we—”

  “Were still friends?” Emma jumped in. “Yeah, I got that same speech. He was really sweet about it, though. Even sent me flowers afterward, to make sure there were no hard feelings.”

  Robin laughed.

  “I got the same speech, also after about two months, but no flowers. The flowers must be new.”

  Heather jumped in.

  “It’s a testament to what a great guy Drew is that we all still like him. And one another. He obviously only dates great women.” She stood up and refilled everyone’s sangria cups.

  “So what did you put in that sangria anyway?” she asked. The subject changed to cocktail recipes. Alexa did her best to chime in with her favorites as her mind was swirling.

  Maybe she didn’t want to get those answers from Drew after all.

  • • •

  Drew almost went into the house to find Alexa at least three times and stopped himself each time. Finally, he saw her walking across the lawn with Lucy and Robin.

  He and Kat wandered over to them. When he put his hand on the small of her back, she jumped.

  “Hey, it’s just me.” She’d probably been on edge from Mike irritating her earlier. “You having fun?”

  “Yeah.” She took a step away from him and looked at the group around them. “It’s great.”

  She reached her hand out to Kat, that smile from the wedding on her face again.

  “Hi, I’m Alexa.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry.” Drew jumped in. “Kat, this is Alexa. She’s here visiting this weekend. Alexa, this is Kat. She’s also a doctor, and a sometime running buddy of mine.”

  “Great. So nice to meet you, Kat!” Alexa took another sip of her drink and turned back to Lucy and Robin.

  Was something wrong? It felt like something was wrong.

  “What were you ladies up to inside for so long?” Brendan asked as he came up to the group.

  Robin, Lucy, and Alexa all laughed. Alexa was looking at them, not at him. Why wasn’t she sharing this laughter with him?

  “Oh, just chatting,” Lucy said. “Well, drinking and chatting, anyway.” She turned to Alexa. “Oh God, Alexa, I forgot to tell you that story about how two of my students got arrested—it tested every instinct I had when they told me about it, because I wanted to laugh so hard but I knew I shouldn’t.”

  As Lucy went on to tell a long story about her students and a cemetery and getting chased by security guards into blackberry bushes, Drew watched Alexa. She was totally relaxed with the other women, smiling and laughing without that fake smile that he hated on her face. That smile had been his sign to come over when she was talking to Mike.

  But she still had that tense look around her eyes. When he touched her arm, she turned toward him, but her body was stiff.

  “Everything okay?” he said in a low voice.

  She flashed a smile, but it didn’t reassure him. It didn’t have that glitter of joy hovering behind her eyes like her real smiles usually did.

  “Fine,” she said. “Want to get me more sangria?”

  When he came back with the sangria, he brought a plate of chips and guacamole for them to share. This time when he joined the group he slid an arm around her waist, but she stepped away from him.

  “Oh look, Heather’s bringing out the cupcakes. Let me go see if she needs help.”

  So she walked off to help Heather with the cupcakes, leaving him with one arm empty, and one hand weighed down with a full plate of chips.

  “Those for me?” Carlos asked from behind him.

  “Hey, man, when’d you get here?”

  Carlos reached for a handful of his chips.

  “Just now. Why are you looking so forlorn? Where’s Alexa?”

  He gestured with his empty hand.

  “She’s over there, asshole. Helping Heather do something with cupcakes . . .” He paused as he saw Alexa and Heather talking to three men he didn’t know. “I guess Heather introduced her to some more people.”

  Carlos looked at him for a long moment but just nodded.

  “Cool, I’ll go say hi. Where are the drinks?”

  Drew pointed and went back to munching on chips and listening to Lucy and Brendan talk about surfing. Forlorn? He wasn’t forlorn. It was possible he would prefer Alexa to be standing next to him than over on the other side of the party talking to three strange men, but he wasn’t forlorn.

  He watched Carlos approach her group and tap her on the shoulder. Alexa threw her arms around Carlos and beamed her hundred-watt smile at him and absorbed him in her cozy little group. Drew waited for her to look around for him. She was probably just waiting to catch his eye to signal to him to come join them. But she didn’t turn her head.

  21

  Alexa was glad she hadn’t tried to have the Talk with Drew before coming to the party. She would have made some humiliating speech about how she felt about him and how she wanted a relationship with him, and he would have looked at her with pity in his eyes.

  She’d always known what the deal was. That was the worst part. She’d known from the beginning who and what he was—he’d told her so. What did she think, someone like her was going to change him?

  She kept trying to snap out of it, to give herself a mental pep talk. But every time she caught a glimpse of Drew standing next to Kat, his hot blond “running buddy,” she needed more sangria to wash down the bitter taste of shame.

  Thank God at least no one knew. She hadn’t told Drew how she felt, and she was almost certain she’d managed to keep her face relaxed and jokey in the kitchen with the other women. She wouldn’t be able to handle their sympathy on top of the sadness that she knew was hovering in the back of her eyes.

  It would be so much easier if she could be mad at Drew. But Drew had done nothing wrong. He’d been perfectly honest with her the whole time. It was her own fault for making up stories in her head about what it meant that he looked at her this way or touched her that way or had that tone in his voice when he talked to her.

  Twenty-four hours until her plane left LAX. She could keep pushing that sadness in its little box for twenty-four hours until she’d be able to let it out.

  She kept unconsciously looking around the party for a friendly face. Someone familiar, who she could relax around, not be so on with, just be herself. Someone who she didn’t have to smile and fake it with. But the only person like that was Drew, and looking at him hurt now.

  After another glass of sangria, she felt a hand on her shoulder and turned.

  “Carlos!” Finally, someone she’d known more than an hour. “I was hoping you were going to be here. How’ve you been?” She hugged him, not sure if the tears that shot to her eyes during the hug were because she was glad to see him, or because of the sangria. Probably a little of both. At least she’d get to say good-bye to Carlos. He’d been so nice to her.

  “Great.” He toasted her plastic cup with his bottle of beer, his arm slung around her shoulder. “I knew you’d be here, Drew’s found ways to mention you all week.”

  She looked down at her cup. Sure he had.

  Drew came over to join their group, but this time she saw him coming, so she could dodge his touch without being obvious about it. She couldn’t handle that warm, firm touch on her back or around her waist right now. She’d taken such comfort in it, thought it meant so much.

  But it had turned out to mean nothing at all. Instead of soothing her, now it made her angry. Mostly at herself.

  She left Drew and Carlos behind and walked with Lucy to get more of the white sangria. Intellectually, she knew that she should probably stop drinking so much, but following Lucy was a good way to escape. As was the sangria itself.

  • • •

  Was it his imagination that Alexa was avoiding him? Probably. It was probably his imagination. But the thing was, for the past hour, she’d walked around with Heather and Emma, and Robin and Lucy, and chatted with a whole group of guys he’d never met. Every time he walked up to her, she’d moved when he’d touched her and had some reason to walk away after a minute or so.

  He left her alone for a while and talked to other people, but he was always aware of where she was and who she was talking to. He told himself it was just so he could rescue her from Mike if necessary. Even in his head he knew that wasn’t true.

  Finally, he saw her standing alone over by the drinks table and walked toward her, determined to figure out what was wrong. Before he could get there, Carlos came up to her, threw an arm around her, and said something in her ear that made her laugh so hard he could hear it from across the backyard. When he reached the two of them, they were both still giggling.

  “Hey guys, having fun over here?” He reached for Alexa’s hand, but she switched her drink from her left to right. She’d looked in his direction but turned back to Carlos, the smile still on her face but no longer in her eyes.

  Carlos grinned at him, but was that guilt in his face? What was Carlos whispering to his girlfriend about, anyway?

  “Yeah, we were just talking . . . about the party,” Carlos said, flashing his eyes back toward Alexa. They shared a grin that made Drew feel like a third wheel.

  “You two are looking kind of cozy. What are you, planning your escape so you can be alone together?” Drew joked. Except somehow it didn’t really come out like a joke.

  Alexa looked straight at him for what felt like the first time that afternoon.

  “Was that some kind of accusation? Because it felt like it.”

  Carlos’s arm dropped from around Alexa’s shoulders. Drew felt a flash of anger that it had been there in the first place, especially when she hadn’t wanted him to touch her all day.

  “Looks like I struck a nerve.” Why did he even say that? He didn’t really believe something was going on with Carlos and Alexa . . . did he?

  “I don’t know, Drew,” Alexa shot back. “You planning your escape from me so you can figure out which of the women here will be your new ‘friend’? I can go home now so you don’t have an inconvenient sandwich at this buffet.”

  Okay, something was definitely wrong.

  “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Drew said.

  Alexa’s lips curved into what some people might think was a smile.

  “Pretty much exactly what I said.” She took the last sip of her drink and put it down. “Wait, you probably don’t remember—in this instance, the sandwich and the buffet are a metaphor for—”

  “I know what it’s a fucking metaphor for, Alexa. I remember. What’s your problem today?”

  “Good luck with this,” Carlos muttered from behind him as he backed away.

  “What’s my problem today?” Alexa wasn’t even pretending to smile anymore. “My problem is that I’m tired of meeting all of your perfectly nice friends who are checking my forehead for my Drew Nichols expiration date. It was cute at the wedding, but it’s not fun or funny for me anymore, especially since I have a strong feeling that my expiration date is July 5th.”

  He grabbed her hand hard enough that she couldn’t pull away and marched her into Heather’s house and up the stairs. He closed the door once they got inside Heather’s bedroom.

  “Okay, now can we please talk about this without an audience?” The walk up the stairs had calmed him down. “What’s going on here? I was just kidding about the Carlos thing. I shouldn’t have said that.”

  She laughed. Her laugh didn’t sound like Alexa’s laugh.

  “What would it matter to you anyway if I was fucking Carlos? Like you would care.”

  Whoa, where had that come from?

  “What the fuck, Alexa? You know that’s not true. Come on, what happened? What changed between now and this morning?” He took a step toward her and she backed away.

  “Nothing you need to worry about, Drew. Go back outside, hang out with your friend Kat. I can occupy myself.”

  His shoulders relaxed. She was jealous! He could fix this; it was going to be okay.

  “Is that what this is about? Monroe, nothing is going on between me and Kat—we’re just friends.” Something suddenly occurred to him. “I should have told you—I used to date Robin . . . and Emma. Did they tell you that? Were they weird to you? Is that why you’re mad?”

  Alexa threw up her hands.

  “No, Drew, everyone here is great. The women are nice and collegial, all welcoming me to the club of people who have had their month or so of sleeping with the great Drew Nichols, with that slight pity in their eyes when they look at me because they know what’s coming. The men all look me up and down like they’re ready to jump me as soon as you’re done with me, because they assume there must be something good in there if I’m worthy of you. Same as it’s ever been since the wedding, honestly.”

 

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