Rock Candy, page 4
part #1 of Dark Horse Series
But she wasn't.
With growing panic, I ran down the hall toward the door we come in, looking for the big guard.
He wasn't there. Someone else had taken over the spot.
"I'm looking for my friend Tiffany," I told the new guard. “She came in here with me. We both have backstage passes. She's tall and wearing a black dress and matching shoes. Have you seen her?"
He gave me an exasperated look, but it wasn't unkind. "I’ve seen all kinds of girls come in and outta here in black dresses. I might have seen your friend, but I'm sorry, I don't know for sure."
"Thanks," I told him with a sinking feeling, jogging back down the hall to the green room to find Paul. I was going to use that PA system after all.
But the green room was empty except for one guy who was still at the food table, munching away.
"Where did everybody go?" I asked him, my voice rising several octaves above how it normally sounded.
He slowly finished chewing, frustrating me to no end, then swallowed down the food in his mouth, speaking before he shoveled in another big bite. "It's Dark Horse’s turn on stage now," he said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"Did Paul go on stage too?"
He'd almost put the food in his mouth, and he looked at me as if I were being rude. "No, Paul didn’t go on stage too. That's dumb."
"Where is he then?"
"In the wings of the stage, of course."
"Can you show me where that is?" I asked him, pleading.
But he'd already stuffed the new bite in his mouth, and he looked at me as if I had proposed he take me to the Salem witch trials.
Not being mature or sophisticated like Paul, I rolled my eyes, left the backstage area, and dug out my ticket to see where our seats were. Maybe that was where Tiffany went.
I checked my phone again, and whoa:
Tiffany: These ladies invited me to come sit with them.
Tiffany: Wow, they have box seats!
Tiffany: They’re in section 10, and they are stellar.
Tiffany: I'm gonna sit with these ladies.
Tiffany: Just come meet me here whenever you can.
Tiffany: Our front row tickets will get you into the boxes, too.
Tiffany: The band’s on stage!
Tiffany: Where are you?
This last text had come seconds ago. I looked over. Sure enough, Gunnar and his band had taken the stage and were strapping their instruments on.
Me to Tiffany: Just got this. Don't know why. I’m at our seats.
Tiffany: Sorry. Now they tell me there's no cell signal backstage.
Me to Tiffany: (angry emoji)
Tiffany: Look up straight behind you. I’m waving.
I rushed up to the box. She was right to stay there. We had our own spread of food. I hugged her and she turned to introduce me to her friends.
A note from Gunnar’s bass cut that off, though: sweet, smooth, and lilting.
I lost focus on anything else. Gunnar was up there playing his heart out. I saw no sign of the hesitant man who’d tried to talk his way out of meeting and greeting the fans. He was in his element up there. They all were.
And then he saw me, and I might've been imagining it, but it seemed he was looking at me the whole time he played all six of their songs. I was in a daze the whole time. I might have danced with Tiffany. Maybe I ate. I couldn’t say. All I remember is him.
“Are we staying to see Rogue?" Tiffany asked as she sat down beside me once Dark Horse had left the stage.
"I kind of feel like we should," I told her after Dark Horse disappeared into the wings.
“Wouldn't you rather be backstage hanging out with Gunnar?" she asked me in a conspiratorial tone, then playfully pushed me toward the door of our box. “Go ahead. I'll stay here and watch Rogue.”
"I feel weird about being separated from you again," I told her honestly. “I was having terrible guilt feelings when I thought I'd lost you. I brought you here, so it’s my responsibility to get you home."
She laughed and held up her phone. “I can Uber if none of these girls can give me a ride. Go."
"Okay," I told her with more excitement than I was trying to let on.
She laughed at me anyway, just as Rogue were strapping on their instruments and the crowd was cheering for the headliner band.
Yet a third guard was at the door when I showed my backstage pass. She nodded and let me in. "You need me to show you around, or have you been back there already?"
"I've been back there already," I told her, then hurried inside.
The hallway was strangely quiet this time around, and my expectations lowered as I made my way to the green room where they'd been before. It was empty. Not even munchie guy.
I went back to the guard and asked, "Isn't Dark Horse back here?"
She gave me a sympathetic face. "Oh honey, I thought you just needed to use the bathroom. No, they went to a photo shoot. They’re gone for the night.”
3
The Song, Gunnar
I turned toward Brandon to avoid some other women's wandering hands as we passed by. I’d asked Paul if we could have this hallway cleared, but he explained, again, that meeting the fans was part of our job. That most of these… ladies... had paid extra for backstage passes, and they needed to get what they had come for.
At the time, I had raised my eyebrows at him and said, 'Seriously? They need to get their money's worth out of me? What kind of place are you running here?'
But I got it. I really did. There were some bands I would pay extra for backstage passes, if I had the money. Up until now, I hadn't.
My parents worked at the factory in what they call ‘dead-end jobs’. The steady money seemed good when they were young, so they settled down on it and had us kids. But the factory didn't pay maternity leave, and they only paid for basic health insurance. Life was a constant struggle to make ends meet, when I was a kid. I was sending my parents money now, so my two little brothers had it much better than I did.
Anyway, I got it. I still didn't like it.
Finally, we arrived at the stage, where the fanatics couldn’t follow us.
The applause as we took the stage made up for any backstage discomfort. When we’re on stage, I have no reservations at all about being in a band. I smiled at the crowd with my thanks for the applause, scanning the front row for Tracy.
And not finding her. The sight of those two empty seats in the front row where I'd secured a place for her chiseled a small hole in my applause euphoria.
But I fought the attack and chose to revel in the applause, strapping on my bass and taking my turn to play a few warm-up chords.
The applause surged, yet anxiety tried to take over my brain. Where was she? Had the women escorted each other to the bathroom just at this moment when the show was starting? I held tight to that idea, because it was more pleasant than the alternative.
Were they staying backstage to meet Rogue? Was that her aim all along?
Even as I thought that, the rational part of my mind scolded me. ‘Tracy's not like that. She's genuine. That's why I like her.’
A tiny part of my mind struggled thus, but the applause and the music controlled most of me. The high of being on stage won the struggle, and soon I was playing my heart out and singing backup for Jack with enthusiasm. I danced in place to Brandon's rockin’ beat and flourished in response to the cheers and applause we were getting for our most popular song to date. It was a dance tune, and it brought a smile to my face, to see the fans dancing in the aisles.
My eye was drawn to a particularly enthusiastic bunch of fans who were rocking one of the boxes. It was then that I finally found Tracy, dancing her heart out, and I was euphoric. I had everything I wanted:
Playing my music.
Hanging out with my buddies.
A hot woman, here to see me.
It was hard to tell from down here on the stage looking up in the boxes, but I thought she was looking right into my eyes, even as I found hers. It made me work extra hard to express every beat I played and each word I sang. To give my all to every dance move.
The Jumbotron camera found Tracy and Tiffany and put them up on the big screen, alternately zooming in on their smiles and out to show their dance moves. Different than any I'd seen, but they went along with the music, complementing it and making it more of a structured thing that you could feel.
We got one encore before Rogue came out on stage, and yeah, I hammed it up, shrugging my shoulders with every bass note and bowing extra low for the applause that followed.
I was itching to see Tracy again. My body told me our next hug would be extra special after the two of us dancing to the same songs for half an hour. I rushed backstage ahead of everyone else, making a beeline for the door she would come in through from the audience.
But Paul grabbed my arm and stopped me. "Where do you think you're going?"
"I need to—" I started.
Paul put his hand on my back and steered me toward the opposite end of the backstage area, where I knew Brian was waiting in the limousine. "I know, I know. You want to go see that girl. Plenty of time for that later. Right now, we have to do a photo shoot that I arranged for the band. The press is very anxious to talk to you. They called during your performance, saying it was the best one yet and speculating about a single you're gonna put out. We have to take advantage of this opportunity."
I was struggling with him when Zeke came up behind me on one side and Jack took over from Paul on the other, strong-arming me where he couldn't.
"Yeah, we got the photo shoot, Bro."
"Come on, dude. It's gonna be great."
"Plenty more babes there." This one from Levi, who socked my arm.
Even Brandon joined in. “We have to go, Bro. The shoot is more important. Just send Tracy a private message. She’ll understand.”
I went, but now I regretted testing Tracy with that beer. She was the nicest girl I had met in a long time. While we rode to the photo shoot, I looked her up on Twitter again. What was will all these retweets of train interiors? She had a serious obsession. Hm. Maybe I could put that to good use.
4
The Bets, Tracy
Early next morning, I drove Tiffany to work, as usual. She paid for the gas this time, and she always helped with insurance and repairs. It was a fair arrangement.
She was the one who talked about him, sliding her charm on her necklace like she always did when she was thinking deep thoughts. "It's kind of hard to go into the diner as usual, when yesterday you came so close to Gunnar Smith, and then lost him without saying goodbye."
"Tell me about it," I told her as we passed our old high school. "I'm glad you were there with me, though. If I’d been on my own, I might have ended up in his hotel room with him. Getting kicked out the next morning like some empty food container would be much worse."
"Wow." She dropped her necklace and gave me her full attention. “You’ve given this quite a bit of thought."
“Yeah.” I turned on the road that would take us to the diner. "Been trying to convince myself it all worked out for the best."
"Yeah, you're right.” She patted my arm. “You ended on a high note with him. Makes me not feel so bad about being the one to lead you away from him."
"No worries.” I turned briefly in the driver’s seat and let her see my face so she’d know I meant it. “You’ve been so supportive this past year, there's no way I'm turning on you over some guy I just met."
"Even though that guy is Gunnar Smith?"
"Yep, even though," I told her before she could finish describing Gunnar in terms I would have trouble not thinking about during the long tedious day dodging guys’ hands.
I smiled despite how down I felt. We had that in common, Gunnar and me. Him dodging girls’ hands, and me dodging guys’ hands. Even though I'd never see him again face-to-face, it made me feel like we were kindred spirits.
I parked, and I had my hand on the car door when Tiff grabbed my arm. "Have you checked Twitter yet? Gunnar said he'd PM you, remember?"
I lowered my hand dismissively. "Oh, he just said that."
"I wouldn’t be so sure."
"I am."
"Why?" He seemed pretty sincere to me. He was really distracted by you, Tracy. Brandon thought so too."
"Oh, come on. He's got girls backstage with him all the time. Sure, he was distracted by me for the day, but he's had three women with him since then."
She laughed. "It's only been ten hours since we saw him on stage."
"That's about right. A woman every three hours. That's how long I was with him in total."
She grew serious. "You really think so?"
"I have to think so. I can't let myself get wrapped up in someone who, let's face it, I don't stand a chance with."
"It couldn't hurt to check Twitter for a goodbye from him," she told me, her eyes roaming around the alley as if it were no big deal.
I chuckled and got my phone, pulling up Twitter. "I guess."
"That's the spirit," she told me, leaning over my shoulder to see my phone.
We both gasped at the same time when we saw there was indeed a private message from Gunnar. It had his phone number and a simple, ‘Please call me.’
I just stared at his number and his request. I couldn't believe it.
Tracy nudged me with her elbow in my side. "Put his number in your phone, silly."
My hands were shaking, so it took three tries, but I finally did it.
She said, "You know what?"
"What?" I asked, staring at Gunnar Smith’s name on my phone.
"This is about as private as we’re gonna get till much later. Go ahead and call him."
"I'm not ready," I told her halfheartedly.
"You're never gonna be ready. Just do it. Find out what he wants. You never know."
I sighed, trying to get the butterflies out of my stomach, and got out my phone again as we walked to the diner’s kitchen door.
Tiffany took hold of my elbow. "Don't worry about missing the way. I'll guide you. You just pay attention to your phone call."
I smirked as I pulled up Gunnar's contact. "You'll pay attention to my phone call, too."
"That's what I'm here for."
I laughed. “You're lucky you're my best friend."
"I know!" Tiffany hugged me sideways.
Out of excuses, I called Gunnar.
"Hello?" came his rich voice over the phone. Even though he sounded groggy, It made me weak in the knees to hear it right there in my ear.
I stumbled.
Tiffany caught me, like she had the time Aaron Platt smiled at me in the diner. "You’d better say something. Tell him who it is."
"Oh yeah," I said out loud into the phone, making myself sound like a doofus. "Hi," I tried again in a shaky voice. "This is Tracy. I got your PM. Sorry for waking you up. I don’t know what I was thinking, calling this early. Please forgive me."
"Hi Tracy. You’re forgiven. I know the diner opens early. It's good to hear your voice."
"I didn't think you'd actually PM me," I told him in a voice that sounded like a three-year-old boy's.
"Well, I did,” he said. His voice was gravely, and I could imagine him sitting up in his bed. When he spoke next, I could hear that it was around a cigarette. “And it's because I want to see you again, Tracy. Do you want to see me again?"
I made ‘yeah’ into a two-syllable word, emphasizing the first syllable.
He didn't laugh at my silliness. His voice got even richer. More full bodied. "I'm glad. We’re on tour, as you know, so the only way you'll be able to see me is if you join us. I could fly you out to meet me next weekend. Is that something you'd want to do?"
I was almost to the diner’s other back door, the one Gunnar had gone through to have a smoke. It was always open during the day, except in winter, because the diner didn’t have air conditioning.
I didn’t want to talk in front of other people, so I thought of the best thing to say before I had to go. "I want to do that more than anything else in the world. I'm free next weekend. Go ahead and make the arrangements. I've got to go now."
Relief washed through the tone of his voice, and excitement. "Great! I’ll reserve your flight and text you the info. Have a good day!"
"You too," I said just before I disconnected the call and put the phone back in my apron pocket.
Tiffany breathed in my ear, "You said, ‘You too.’ Did he tell you he loves you?"
I laughed then and gently pushed her, then leaned close to whisper, "No, silly. He wants to see me again! He's gonna fly me out to meet him on tour next weekend!"
"Ooh, Tracy has a date," she whispered in singsong.
I couldn't deny it, so I just nodded and grinned.
And then we got to the diner’s back door. Since it was bright sunlight outside, the people inside could see us, but we couldn’t see them.
Whistles and boos came through the thick screen door.
Adrenaline pumped through my veins.
I hurried Tiff through the entrance directly into the kitchen and asked Joe, "What’s with everybody today?"
Joe gave me an appreciative look up and down my body and took out his phone. "Here." He put the phone in my face, still holding onto it and jiggling it so it was hard for me to focus on what I was looking at.
I grabbed onto it out of frustration, and our hands met.
Joe stroked my hand.
I dropped his phone out of disgust.
Joe saved it, but just barely, and then got snippy. "I’ll hold it for you."
I wanted to tell him ‘Never mind,’ but my curiosity got the better of me. I leaned in. And then I gasped. There I was sitting on Gunnar's lap, giving him a kiss on the cheek and clinging to his neck. The caption read, "Gunnar Smith has a girlfriend."
"You see now?" Joe asked me with a knowing tone in his voice. "These are smattered all over the Internet, and this is the nicest caption. Most of them speculate on how quickly you two got in bed together. I was nice to you. I voted that it took until two in the morning."
