What We Know Is True, page 14
I had been very curious about his apartment. It felt like even though we had seen each other several times, I didn’t know him very well. We talked about his job, and things in the news, and a few minor personal details, but I still had the niggling feeling that I didn’t know the real Daniel. And since he was going to be an important figure in my life from here on out, I was worrying about that more and more.
But if I was looking for clues to his personality in his apartment, I was barking up the wrong tree. The interior was the same as the exterior: tan and symmetrical, with not very much distinctive. Beige couches melded into beige carpet and into beige walls with nothing adorning them. I picked up a long walking stick in the corner with stamps burned into it, the only non-furniture object in the room besides the TV remotes and some work-related magazines on the blonde wood coffee table. “What is this stick for? Is it Japanese?” I asked him.
“My brother just climbed Mount Fuji. He likes to travel,” Daniel said derisively. He had said before that he himself didn’t; we were both homebodies. It was one of the things I knew we had in common. He walked to me and took the stick from my hands. “I’m glad you came over.” He grabbed me around the waist and pulled me to him, crushing his mouth to mine.
My teeth dug into my lip with the force of his kiss and I jerked my head away. “Um, how about that tea?”
He let go of me to go into the kitchen and I rubbed my sides where his hands had gripped me. He came back holding a bottle. “How about this instead? My brother brought it back from Japan for me.”
I looked at the bottle but all the writing was Japanese characters. “Oh, sure, I’ll try it.” He poured me a glassful, a water glass full. “I’ll probably just have a few sips…”
“Drink up.” He watched me as I took a taste. He tilted back his own glass and gulped. “Like that. That’s how they do it in Japan.”
Since he had never been there, I took this statement as speculative at best. I had another cautious sip. “Thank you.” He sat on one of the couches and after considering sitting on the other one, I took the spot beside him instead. He put his arm around me and very tentatively I leaned against him, still holding my glass.
“This is nice,” Daniel reported.
“Yes.” I tried, very hard, to think of something to say. Nothing. I looked I desperation at the coffee table. “Did you read that article on cyber risks?” I pointed to the magazine on the top of the stack. “That looks interesting.” I held up my glass to my mouth to sip, but Daniel took the bottom and tilted it, sloshing liquid over my chin and down onto my shirt. “Hey!” I pulled away from him to put the glass down on the table, and stared in dismay at the sopping fabric.
“You have to get a mouthful,” he said again, his eyes also on my shirt. The wet patch was transparent, showing the line of lace of my bra. Suddenly he grabbed me again, pushing me down on the couch. His teeth scraped against mine as his tongue wedged its way into my mouth, slimy and insistent. He rammed harder against my lips, bruising with the force of his disgusting kiss.
His hand moved from my waist to my breast and squeezed. This was what I had been wanting; this was what I had planned. Exactly this. But now that it was happening, I wanted no part of it. He squeezed my breast harder, so hard I squealed in pain and jerked my whole body, sliding out from under him and onto the floor with a thud. I brought my hand to my mouth. My lips felt puffy and I could taste blood inside.
I scrambled to my feet and looked down at Daniel. He sat up on the couch, panting hard, his pants tented in his lap. “I have to go,” I said, my voice trembling. I cleared my throat. “I have an early flight.”
“Yeah, ok. Bye.” He didn’t get up to walk me out, didn’t even look at me, and when I turned back as I closed the front door behind me, he still wasn’t looking. I got into my car and locked the doors. That couldn’t have been worse. It could not have been worse! Just when I was getting exactly what I wanted, I had pulled away and messed it up.
But it hadn’t felt like something that I wanted. It had been awful, him holding me down, his teeth and probing tongue and grasping, rough fingers. It hadn’t been what I had imagined about him at all. I had thought of gentle kisses and soft caresses and then a comfortable and relaxed, um, coming together. A joining. I wasn’t expecting thrills and breathless titillation like Reid talked about, but I didn’t want what Daniel did, either.
I wiped my cheek on the collar of my coat, telling myself that it was stupid to cry. I had gotten what I went to his apartment for, but somehow, it had been all wrong.
∞
I got home late after leaving Daniel, and the morning after I was up very early, so I missed having to see my mom. I was glad. I had put ice on my lips, but they were still swollen and she would have been sure to notice. He had kissed me too hard, I thought. Maybe he wasn’t experienced either so he just didn’t know. Or maybe most women liked that, and I was just weird, again. I was going to have to talk to Augusta.
I was already at the gate at the airport, tapping my fingers and thinking Reid was going to miss the flight, when he walked up just as they were starting to board our group. “You’re almost late!” I said.
“I don’t like sitting around airports. That’s why I come right on time,” he corrected me. Then he leaned closer, his eyebrows drawing together as he squinted at me. “What happened…”
“Let’s go. I think ‘right on time’ means you should be there early.” I picked up my bag and walked swiftly ahead of him.
Unfortunately I couldn’t escape him entirely, since we were sitting next to each other. In business class, which was quite swanky.
“What happened to you?” Reid asked, holding my chin gently and twisting my face back and forth. “Did you…no, it couldn’t be the Amorous Actuary, could it?”
I put my hand over my mouth. It was still a little sore.
“Did he kiss you into that state?” Reid whistled slightly. “From what you told me, I didn’t know he had it in him.”
“Well, anyway, nothing,” I said, waving my hands and shaking my head. Stop with the gesticulating, Karis! “I mean, I don’t want to talk about Daniel.” I could feel myself blush. What did Reid think I had been doing?
Probably exactly what I had been doing, before I ran away like a little girl wearing clothes that were too big for her.
“Ok, Prudence. But maybe I shouldn’t call you that anymore…”
My eyes filled up with tears, and before I could turn my head and blink them away, Reid saw.
“Hey,” he said softly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you upset. I’m used to teasing Gussie, I guess.”
Yes. I was happy to remind him of his cousin again. I looked up at the overhead compartments and took a deep breath. “I had something in my eyes. Dry air.”
“Ok, but I am sorry,” he said again, just as gently as before, which really, really made me want to cry. Thank goodness the flight attendant came on the PA to start talking and making announcements. Both of us took out our laptops as soon as we were allowed to and I reviewed everything I had already prepared about the company we were going to see, PanyaCreates. Reid watched a movie and after a while I switched to reading.
“Good book?”
I jumped in my seat. “Really good,” I said. I replaced the rubber band that held together the tattered paperback.
“It looks well-loved.” He read from the cover. “The Wheel Spins.”
“It’s one of my favorite authors, but most of her books are out of print. This is from World War Two. There’s a notice inside about buying war bonds.” I patted the cover.
“You know, they have this new technology, called microprocessors. There are entire books hiding inside portable machines,” he said.
“How can they all possibly fit in there?” I marveled. “No, you can’t find most of what I like. No one reads them but me, probably.”
“I remember you said that you like old books.”
Yes, I was as exciting as always. I put The Wheel Spins away and peeked at his laptop screen. “What are you doing there, reading one of those magic books?”
“I was just going through what we’ve been offering for employee benefits,” Reid said, pointing at a spreadsheet.
“They’re very generous,” I told him.
“I like the crew we have and I want to keep everyone happy. We’re looking at expanding our current package for more matching in retirement plans. The health insurance isn’t great. I’d also like to see more childcare benefits, more for dependents in general.”
“That’s nice.”
“You might be able to use that to help with your father’s care.” Reid was still scrolling through his screen. “You could put a little more towards the piano, those debts. Your future house.”
“Thank you,” I told him. “That would have been very nice. I will have a little more free cash soon because I won’t be paying for him to be in the facility where he’s been living.” I would have more money, maybe, but a lot less freedom. “My mom is going to bring him home to live with us.”
Reid stared at me. “I had understood that he needed to be in assisted living.”
“She wants him with us at our house, so we can take care of him instead of leaving him with strangers. She doesn’t like that.”
He was still staring at me. “Doesn’t he need constant supervision? Augusta said that he started a fire by mistake.”
I nodded. “Yes. My mom or I will need to be with him at all times.” I cleared my ears. “We’re descending. Look, there’s Miami.” I didn’t want to talk about it anymore.
When we landed, Reid rented a car and we drove over to the offices of the new company he wanted to purchase, PanyaCreates. We weren’t there to do any serious due diligence, he had explained. That would be done by the consultants he was working with, his attorneys, a whole crew of people to review everything about a possible purchase of this up and coming company of app designers. Reid wanted us to get a feel for the leadership, to see if we would be able to work with them, and if they wanted to work with us.
We waited together in the PanyaCreates lobby, which was so sleek and art deco tropical that I felt immediately out of place and unfortunately dressed. The receptionist offered us beverages while we waited.
“An NRG+Lyfe?” she asked. “We just did their new app that tells you when you should have each sip.” She pointed at a framed poster showing an absolutely stunning blonde man, wearing a small bathing suit, holding a can of the drink and looking serious. “Maybe you’d prefer a bulletproof coffee?”
I asked for straight water. I was wilting a little, even with the mega air conditioning they had going.
Soon enough we met Panya, the woman who had founded the company (and went by only the one name) and her partner, Matías Cavallero. Reid and I talked to them in their meeting space, which was outside on a big patio with everyone arranged on lounge chairs. I shifted around in mine and tried to look as relaxed as Reid did, lying back in his chair and sipping an energy drink.
Panya didn’t want to talk at all about Reid buying her company. She followed Jerrica and read her blog religiously, so she wanted to talk about that. I was interested as well, because he rarely said anything about her. But somehow, Reid guided their conversation into a discussion of the PanyaCreates company culture, and then into employee retention, and other topics more pertinent to us. But he did it in a way that was so clever, I was very impressed. He certainly didn’t need any party practice, not at all—socially, he was a huge thumbs up.
“I like that one.”
“What?” I asked, a little startled. I had been staring at Reid and not taking notes as I had thought I would.
Matías, the co-owner of the company, indicated something in my open tote bag. “The Wheel Spins. I like that one. Miss Froy.”
I smiled. “Miss Froy.”
“I like the Hitchcock movie made of it, but I enjoy the book more.”
“Really? That’s what I think, too,” I said.
“What do you think about Patricia Wentworth?” Matías asked.
“Oh, wow, she’s one of my favorites.”
“I collect wartime editions printed for the troops,” he told me, so I removed the rubber band to show him that mine was from the same time period. While Reid talked to Panya, I talked to Matías, and gradually we were discussing the company too, and I did take some notes. We had lunch with them on South Beach and then Reid and I took the car to our hotel to check in.
“Let’s get outside and take advantage of being here. Go put on your bathing suit and some shorts,” he told me, and I quailed a little at the idea of exposing the swaths of white, winterized skin beneath my wool pants. I wasn’t much of a sun person and all the long, lean bronze-ness happening in Miami was a bit unnerving. I found myself wondering about how quickly I could get a spray tan and why I hadn’t thought of it before.
In spite of all that, I managed to don some summer-like attire, positive that I would never take it off to expose my bathing suit, and I met Reid back down in the lobby. He was carrying a bag, a beach chair, and towels, and he had the car keys in his hand.
“We’re driving to a beach? What about the one outside the hotel?” I asked, as we got back into the car. Reid put the top down—he had asked for a convertible. Apparently he had a thing for them.
“I was down here, not too long ago,” he said. Yes, I remembered. I had read all about how he and Jerrica had taken a boat around the coast to find salt-water crocodiles and then he went in the water with them. It had been terrifying. “There are some nice beaches fairly close to here that aren’t as crowded.”
I sat back and let the warm sun wash over me as Reid drove and I held my ponytail in a firm grip to prevent hair expansion. The weather did feel good after a long Michigan winter. We talked about PanyaCreates and what we had learned from our meeting with the heads of the company.
“What was that Matías making you smile about?”
I looked up in surprise. “Was I smiling? We were talking about books. He likes the one I was reading.”
“Another guy with similar interests,” Reid noted.
“I guess.” I hadn’t really thought about it too much except that it was a nice icebreaker. I told Reid what Matías had said about the company, but then mostly we watched the scenery and just chatted about anything. Nothing. Reid followed some strange backroads and byways and ended up in a little, rundown parking lot, just us and a lot of stray cats. “There’s an old lady who lives nearby who feeds them,” Reid said. “Jerrica,” he paused briefly and glanced at me, “Jerrica did an interview with her, but it turned out too mean and sarcastic. I asked her not to post it.” He pushed an empty tuna can out of the way with his foot and we walked down a narrow path to the beach.
“Oh, gracious. This is nice.” The ocean stretched out before us, and it wasn’t crowded at all on a Thursday afternoon, just a few people spaced so far apart that it was almost like we had all the sand to ourselves. “I can see why you wanted to come back.”
Reid threw down the gear he had brought and I started to spread out a towel for myself. When I looked up, he was pulling off his shirt. “I’m going swimming, then let’s talk more about PanyaCreates. Want to come in?”
My mind, and mouth, had temporarily broken. “Uh…”
There was more of Reid than I had ever seen before. I had felt him a little through his clothes, touched the sinewy muscles of his arms and put my cheek against the hard surfaces of his chest and back, but seeing it all in person…so that was what abs looked like, close up. I reached a finger forward as if I was going to trace the furrows around each one, then immediately jerked it away.
“No, thank you, I’ll wait for a while,” I squeaked. “Have fun.” I was pantomiming swimming now, doing my arms in backstroke. Why? Just, why did I behave like that? Reid grinned.
“We can sit for a minute,” he said, and threw himself down on the towel in the sun next to mine, which I placed carefully in the shade. He closed his eyes and covered them with his forearm. My eyes moved down his body again, as if I had never seen the human form before. The ancient Greeks celebrated the body, and I had seen plenty of nudity. Classical, carved marble nudity—in other words, I had seen a lot of sculpture. The living, breathing Reid, inches away from me, was a different story. I realized I was staring directly at his bathing suit, the frontal area. I couldn’t see a lot of detail, but—
“Why does it make you upset when I talk about Jerrica?”
“Huh?” My gaze flew to his face, but he still had his eyes covered. “Jerrica? I don’t get upset about her.”
“You do. You frown and shake your head every time I say her name.”
I had no idea that I did that. “Well, things you say about Jerrica often have to do with dangerous things you did with her. I didn’t like it that you were her stuntman.”
His arm came off his eyes and he sat up a little, leaning on his elbow. “Stuntman?”
“I mean, you were the one always in danger. She just stood somewhere safe and wrote about what you were doing, pretending like she was in the thick of it all. I didn’t like that.”
“That was just how we did things. If you didn’t like it, why did you read it?” He sounded annoyed.
“I don’t know,” I said softly, running sand through my fingers. Because I was fascinated by their lives. Because I wanted to remember him.
“We were having fun.” He picked up a shell and threw it. “It was very fun, at first. Like a never-ending vacation.”
“What do you mean, ‘at first?’”
Reid threw another shell. “Lately, nothing had the same thrill. When I met Jerrica, she had this crazy plan to do her blog. It sounded exactly like something I wanted to do. We saw so many amazing things. I did things, went places, that I couldn’t have imagined. Because of Jerrica and all her ideas.”
