Once Upon Another Time, page 6
“We go to get treats?” Rufus asked, turning his head almost ninety degrees around to look her in the eye.
“Yup, down the mountain, to the town below,” she told him, nodding in the direction of the mountain. “As quickly as you can.”
“Le—” her mother’s voice came, only to be cut off as Rufus leapt toward the back door. His Seven League Boots kicked in, and a moment later Lena and Rufus reappeared instantly at the top of the mountain, having skipped over Lena’s garden, the various other cottages beyond, and the forest past that.
Unfortunately, Rufus’s boots wouldn’t get them down the mountain to the ground below. Seven League Boots were great for going anywhere relatively flat, but the magic didn’t work so well with ups and downs, so climbing down the mountain just wasn’t going to work.
Fortunately, Rufus had some pretty amazing natural claws of his own, so Lena took the boots off, tied them by their laces, then swung them on either side of her shoulder before mounting up again.
Rufus had done this enough times that he knew the trail by heart, but that didn’t mean the trip was comfortable. Each time, there was a moment or two that Lena was convinced they were going to fall into some chasm, as the mountain was built almost in tiers, with deep crevices between each one. Rufus was agile enough to leap between the tiers, and almost never missed. But when he did…
Lena often wondered if cats that humans kept as pets were as clumsy as hers. She’d seen them around the Cursed City, and they acted like they were graceful as faeries dancing in the first snow, while Rufus could trip over his own feet while walking in a straight line.
But he always managed to pick himself up and pretend like his fall had never happened, something Lena was really jealous of at the moment.
“We come back soon?” Rufus said as he leapt through the hole in the clouds that the mountain’s spire poked up through. It was so small that Lena figured most giants had never seen it, not unless they’d been down near the ground at her height.
But even so, they’d never have been able to fit through the cloud layer.
“I hope so,” Lena said, not able to think about anything more. “And when we do, they won’t be able to send me away again, because I’ll be a real giant.”
“Lena is a real giant,” Rufus said, sounding confused, and she hugged him tight.
You are no giant.
Maybe not, she thought, but I will be soon.
“Hey, maybe Mrs. Hubbard will have some of those fish you like?” she said, trying to change the subject.
Unfortunately, all she did was get Rufus excited, and he tore down the mountain so fast he almost sent Lena falling off his back.
And since she’d heard somewhere that falling down mountains could break your crown, she held on tight as her cat careened down the hill, and toward Mrs. Hubbard’s treats.
CHAPTER 12
You have no idea how many times this has happened,” the broken egg said to Jin as they walked through the woods, Jin cradling the egg and its various broken shell parts in his hands. He hadn’t bothered trying to scoop up the yolk but assumed that wasn’t important, considering the egg hadn’t mentioned it and was, you know, speaking. “And for a while, no one knew what to do about it.”
“That’s fascinating,” Jin said, not listening. “So it’s this way to the Cursed City, right?” The forest around them didn’t look familiar, which seemed like a good sign, since it meant at least the misdirection spell wasn’t sending them back over the same ground they’d already walked.
“Oh yeah, you’re doing great,” the egg said, then stuck out a tiny little hand. “I’m Humphrey, by the way. Everyone calls me Humpty, though.”
Jin gave the egg his pinkie, and the egg shook it. “Nice to meet you, Humphrey.”
“You can call me Humpty too!”
“No thanks,” Jin said, looking all over. “You’re sure we’re not getting turned around by that spell?” He paused, realizing he wasn’t supposed to know about that. “I mean, that’s the story I heard anyway, that there’s some spell that keeps people out.”
The egg, Humphrey, waved a hand absently. “Oh sure, there’s a spell. Got set up after some guy grew a big plant here and climbed up into the clouds. Found a giant, I guess, who chased him down, and where that giant landed, there’s now a lake. That’s how big the giant was!”
“Amazing,” Jin said, nodding absently. “You’re telling me that there are some humans that are just… taller? And you call them giants? Blows my mind, really.”
“Well, the spell got put into place afterward, to keep the giants from wrecking anything else,” the egg said. “But don’t worry! You’re with me, Humpty, and I can get you into the city, no problem. Especially for a friend of mine like you, uh, what did you say your name was?”
“Omelet,” Jin said, giving the egg a long look. Humphrey’s eyes widened, and then he laughed, slapping himself on his cracked shell, then groaning in pain.
“Omelet! That’s one I haven’t heard before. I’ll call you Mel, then. Great to meet you, Mel. And thanks for taking care of me.”
“Well, it’s my fault you cracked, since I didn’t catch you,” Jin said, wondering if he’d known then how annoying the egg was, if he’d just have let it drop on purpose. “I suppose I owe you. Is this Dr. Horse close?”
“Used to be a king’s surgeon,” Humphrey said, and Jin closed his eyes in irritation, willing himself not to close his fists and squeeze anything remaining from the egg. “Turned into half a horse by some witch or another, but said he ended up liking it better that way. That’s most of us here in the Cursed City, people who’ve had run-ins with witches, wizards, dragons, you name it. But we’ve gotten used to our new life, and most of us actually prefer it. Some of us even asked to use Mrs. Hubbard’s cauldron, which reveals your—”
Jin cut him off before he completely lost his temper. “Fascinating! Anyway, the horse guy is where again?”
“He’s the only one who figured out a way to put me back together,” Humphrey said, ignoring the question. “Spent weeks at it the first time I cracked, years and years ago.” He shrugged. “That’s back when I used to guard the walls of the city. Fell every few days or so!”
“People lining up to push you, I’d imagine?” Jin asked.
Humphrey chortled, then began to cough. “Ouch! Don’t make me laugh—it hurts!”
Jin immediately began thinking of every joke he knew. But before he could launch into them, a path opened up before him, a real path, with cobblestones and wheel ruts from wagons and everything. “Is this it?” he asked, just thankful to be able to drop the egg somewhere nearby. “Is this the city?”
“We’re getting close!” Humphrey said, putting a hand up to block the sun. “Should be able to make out the walls in a moment or… Yup, there they are!” He pointed down the road, and Jin could just make out a tall stone wall rising above the trees. “That’s the very one I fell from the first time!”
You’re so close, Jin thought. Don’t crack him again. You might still get some useful information out of him. Just because you haven’t yet doesn’t mean it’s impossible.
You don’t seem to be handling this very well, the cosmic knowledge pointed out. Humpty is a good egg, as they say. Look at his inner light—it glows brightly!
I think I saw his inner light when he cracked open, and it’s just yolk, Jin thought back, then turned to the egg. “Now that we’re getting close, I have a question for you. You know, since I’m saving your life and everything. Do you happen to know where the Last Knight is?”
The egg’s smile immediately faded, and he looked up at Jin with suspicion. “And why would you want to know that?”
Jin forced himself to look guilty, as if caught in a lie. “I have to admit, I wasn’t entirely truthful before, when I said I was just looking for a place to spend the night.”
“I figured, since it’s barely the afternoon.”
“That doesn’t matter… I mean, good point! What I’m trying to say is, I’ve been looking for the Cursed City just so I could meet the Last Knight and join the rebels.” He gave the egg his most sincere expression. “There’s no one I hate more than the Golden King.”
That part was true, at least.
The egg seemed to consider this as the trees fell away, revealing the walls of the city, extending off to the sides of the path too far to see. Above the wall rose too many buildings to count, all looking well taken care of and lived in. How big was this city?
“Well, first, when I said we were all rebels, that’s sort of misleading,” Humphrey said, frowning. “We’re supportive and all, but we’re no army. All the most powerful rebels have been captured by the Golden King and turned to statues. It’s basically just the Last Knight left now. I think he keeps trying to rescue them, but no luck so far.”
“So he’s alone.” Jin paused. “Were there some twins in the rebellion?”
“Twins?” the egg said, considering this. “Not that I know of. Why do you ask?”
“Eh, not important. Where did you say the Last Knight was again?”
“Only Mrs. Hubbard knows,” Humphrey said. “Can’t be too careful. But I’ll warn you, she’s not one to mess with. She’s got the largest collection of enchanted items I’ve ever seen. You should see some of the fun things she’s got in her boot!”
“Mrs. Hubbard, boot, sure,” Jin said, noticing several guards on the wall now, all much more intimidating than Humphrey, given that none of them were eggs. Instead they all looked human—or close enough to it—from a distance and were standing at attention, staring straight off over Jin’s head. Each one looked almost like an exact replica of the others, their bright red clothing and black hats identical, with white hair that looked almost like wigs.
And as he and the egg approached, something else came into view. The guards had enormous teeth, of all things.…
“Nutcrackers!” Humphrey shouted out, waving at the guards. “He’s with me. Can you open the gates?”
One of the guards tilted slightly from one side to another, like his body was frozen and that was the only way he could move. He must have activated a switch, though, as the wooden gates both opened out, revealing a buzz of people behind them.
“Nutcrackers?” Jin asked the egg, holding it closer to his face so the guards wouldn’t overhear.
“Wooden soldiers, basically,” the egg said, then shivered. “I’m not too fond of them, personally. Sometimes they get this look in their eye that they want to be cracking something, and I’m the perfect size.” He waved up at the guards again, then nodded toward the open gate. “Come on, then, no time to waste. Dr. Horse typically starts napping soon, and I’d rather not wait for him to wake up to fix me.”
Jin couldn’t argue with that. He passed under the walls and through the gate, marveling at how many people there were inside the city, even this close to the walls. And not just humans, or at least not that looked human.
The egg wasn’t wrong: almost everyone Jin saw seemed to suffer from some curse or another. But none of them looked particularly upset about it, including the human-sized frog that was striding around wearing a crown and long purple cape, upon which a number of regular frogs rode.
“The Frog Prince,” Humphrey pointed out, sounding reverent. “Some say he helped take down the Wicked Queen the first time, with Snow White and the rest. Too old now to fight, so we just take care of him.”
Right, so basically everyone here was useless. How the Golden King hadn’t managed to take over the city was beyond Jin. “Where’s this Mrs. Hubbard, then?” he asked, ready to drop the egg at the first sign of a horse.
Weirdly, a voice answered him from an empty spot just beyond the gate. “What do I look like, a map? Find it yourself.”
Jin blinked, not sure what had just happened. But the egg didn’t seem to have heard.
Jin squinted his eyes, looking past the visible, and found a humanlike shape formed of magic, one with almost more dark than light.
“Who’s that?” he asked, nodding at the empty space. “I just heard a voice over there, but I don’t see anyone.” That last part was sort of the truth, as he had no idea what he’d just seen.
“Oh, you did?” Humphrey asked, looking surprised. “There’ve been rumors we’re haunted by something, but most of us in the city can’t see or hear it. From what I hear, it’s not very nice, so I just call it the Invisible Cloud of Hate.”
“Ignore me at your own peril, egg!” the voice shouted, now on a different side of Jin, who whirled around in surprise. But again, Humphrey didn’t seem to have heard.
Ugh. This city was ridiculous, and Jin had a wish to grant. “We’re sorry to get in your way, Invisible Cloud of Hate,” he said, not sure where the cloud actually was. “But if you don’t want the egg to ignore you, I’m happy to help teach him a lesson.” He flicked the egg slightly, just to show solidarity, and Humphrey let out a little indignant shout.
The cloud snorted. “Oh, you I could get along with. See you around, genie.”
Jin’s eyes widened, but no one else around seemed to be able to hear the cloud either, so his secret was probably safe. Still, maybe it was time to get away from the far-too-knowledgeable Invisible Cloud of Hate, just in case it decided to keep sharing information.
“I’m surprised you saw the cloud,” Humphrey said as they reached the next street over, this one even busier than the gate had been. “Like I said, almost no one can. I thought it was just a rumor for the last few months, honestly.”
“Well, I make friends wherever I go,” Jin said through his clenched teeth, not liking how crowded it was here. Why did there have to be so many humans in the city? He could almost see the odors rising off the city’s people, and they were not pleasant. “Mrs. Hubbard was where again?”
“Oh, you can see her house and store from here,” Humphrey said, and nodded farther into town. “Those two giant boots? The ones that could literally be worn by giants? That’s where she and the kids live and work.” He gave Jin a worried look. “Be careful around her. Like I said, she’s a tough cookie, even compared to Mr. Ralph.” He pointed at a large, man-shaped cookie, racing from the gate at the front into the city, as if he had somewhere to be urgently. “And he’s made of gingerbread!”
CHAPTER 13
Lena wasn’t going to forget what happened back in her village any time soon, but seeing all her friends from the human city below did help distract her, at least.
“It’s been weeks!” Mr. Ralph said, his gingerbread arms raised in the air in celebration as she and Rufus walked through the back gate to the city, unlocked by a few of the nutcracker guards standing atop the walls. They’d recognized her on sight and greeted her with their loud, clacking mouths opening and closing, while Mr. Ralph had run up out of nowhere a second later, as quick as always. How a cookie got around so fast was beyond her. “Did you get taller, Lena? I swear, you’re growing like a weed.”
Lena winced, not wanting to talk about her height at all. Mostly she could just laugh it off when the townspeople pointed out how tall she was for her age, since human girls at twelve were typically a good head shorter than she was. But at the moment, that was the last thing she wanted to talk about.
“How are you, Mr. Ralph?” she asked, going in for a hug. The smell of ginger filled her nose, and for a moment, everything wasn’t quite so horrible.
“Oh, life is as delicious as always,” he said with a grin, then turned to Rufus. “And you, big boy! Have you grown, or did you decide to stick with just being a horse-sized cat?”
Rufus started to respond, then sniffed at the air and abruptly hissed. “Something is here, Lena,” he said, eyes darting back and forth. “Something is in the city with us.”
She sighed adoringly at her cat, knowing that when he sniffed an odd smell, it was usually fairies, which always seemed to be around when Lena came by. Rufus loved chasing them.
“You’re such a brave guard cat,” she said, and scratched the cat’s ear fondly. “Come on, let’s go find Mrs. Hubbard.”
Mr. Ralph said goodbye, with a promise to meet up later, then turned to run off somewhere new as Lena headed to the Boot-ique, Mrs. Hubbard’s store she’d made from a giant’s boot Lena had traded to her years ago. It’d been one of a pair, and the old woman had used the other to house her family, which worked out much better than it sounded.
As she and a slightly on-edge Rufus made their way through the city, Lena tried not to slow down too much, even as half the residents seemed to want to say hello. It wasn’t that Lena didn’t want to catch up with all of them, but right now, she needed to talk to Mrs. Hubbard about her cauldron. If Lena remembered right, its magic turned you into your true self, which for a cat like Rufus, who pictured himself as huge and intimidating, had ended up growing him.
At the time, Lena had been too nervous to try it, just not sure what the cauldron would show her. What if she hadn’t grown, and her true self was human-sized? Or what if something even stranger happened, like she turned into a completely different object? The guard Humpty had drunk from the cauldron and morphed into an egg, which was perfect for him, since he loved bird-watching and now could do it from within a nest.
But Lena couldn’t imagine life as an egg or a cookie or even a large chicken, like Lil, and so she’d turned down Mrs. Hubbard and the knight at the time.
But now she had no choice. It was either take a chance on the cauldron, or… or… well, Lena couldn’t even imagine an “or.” Any other possibility was just too awful.
So instead of finding out how all her friends in the city were doing, Lena had to content herself with a quick smile and a hello. At least their excitement at seeing her was soothing and almost helped distract Lena from her situation. Almost.
As they neared the giant-sized brown leather boot that was the Boot-ique, Lena found another old friend outside the store, this one entirely human and wearing the all-black uniform that said he was on duty, guarding the former Chancellor of the Kingdoms. “Peter, how are you?” Lena asked, beaming. She reached out for a hug, which Peter returned, smiling as well. “How’s the family? Is the house still standing?”
